I'm pushing 50 and when I was a kid, all the girls got bras in 6th grade. Some needed them, some didn't. I don't think it's that unusual. The thing is in any case, a bra provides more modesty, not less, so I think it's fine for a girl to get one at this age, particularly if not having one is a point of embarrassment and self-conciousness.

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Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

I'm pushing 50 and when I was a kid, all the girls got bras in 6th grade. Some needed them, some didn't. I don't think it's that unusual. The thing is in any case, a bra provides more modesty, not less, so I think it's fine for a girl to get one at this age, particularly if not having one is a point of embarassment and self-conciousness.

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I agree, but the OP posted that she needs a bra, and then stated that she tried on her sisters padded bra, and it fit, and that she wants a padded bra as well.

Getting a padded bra when you're 20 and have nothing up top, is fine. Getting a padded bra at the age of 10/11 is no longer about being embarrassed or self conscious, it's about wanting to outdo or be like the rest of the herd. That, in my book, is not okay and not something a parent should encourage.

A training bra (which is literally a bra shaped undershirt) is fine for a girl her age for modesty. But if she needed a bra, her mom would likely already have brought it up, so I doubt this is a matter of need, it's about want, which begs the question "why do you want it so badly? To fit in? If so, why?"

I didn't need a bra until I was 14. I'm now an F cup. Wearing a bra is no longer an option. But at 10,11, 12, even 13, I definitely didn't need a bra. I wore a training bra, because everyone else did, but I didn't need a bra.

The OP said, and I quote "I need it".

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Originally Posted by Alty

I agree, but the OP posted that she needs a bra, and then stated that she tried on her sisters padded bra, and it fit, and that she wants a padded bra as well.

Getting a padded bra when you're 20 and have nothing up top, is fine. Getting a padded bra at the age of 10/11 is no longer about being embarrassed or self conscious, it's about wanting to outdo or be like the rest of the herd. That, in my book, is not okay and not something a parent should encourage.

A training bra (which is literally a bra shaped undershirt) is fine for a girl her age for modesty. But if she needed a bra, her mom would likely already have brought it up, so I doubt this is a matter of need, it's about want, which begs the question "why do you want it so badly? To fit in? If so, why?"

I didn't need a bra until I was 14. I'm now an F cup. Wearing a bra is no longer an option. But at 10,11, 12, even 13, I definitely didn't need a bra. I wore a training bra, because everyone else did, but I didn't need a bra.

The OP said, and I quote "I need it".

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I'm in my 30's and I am an A cup.

I think I am going to take OP's line and repost as " I need it!" ;)

I'll also point out that the OP first posted this in June, then reposted recently (the threads were merged) with the same request. She also has another thread about her breasts being uneven.

I notice that she doesn't often respond once she opens a thread.

I think its true that girls seem to be developing earlier these days. Clearly a girl needs a bra when she starts to develop and that development can start at different times for different girls.

But the bottom line here is this is something between the girl and her parents, usually the mom.

At 11 is it NORMAL not to wear even a training bra?

Everyone matures at different rates, so there is NO "normal".

If you are worried that you are behind everyone else... stop. Soon enough you will develop the need for a bra and then you will wish you didn't need it.

It's normal to not wear a bra at 11, to wear a training bra, and if developing jiggly breasts or prominent nipples, a regular bra. If I had to guess, I'd say that about half of 11 year olds don't wear bras yet. Do you need help with what to say to convince your mother than your friends get to have some sort of bra?

After looking at your past posts, I see that you have basically asked this question in one form another already. How many times are you going to ask?

Your threads should be merged.

Judging by the number of times this has been asked I believe the "bra/no bra" issue has become an obsession. Apparently the OP's mother is tired of the argument/discussion.

If the theory is that a sports bra will somehow protect anyone from injury, I'm not seeing it. Just because "everyone" wears a bra doesn't mean OP needs one - and if her parents think it's too early for a bra, I would side with them.

I didn't catch the "padded" bra thing, Judy so thanks for the correction. I would even be OK with a padded bra maybe for a junior or senior in high school for a girl who's especially small and embarrassed about it, but if the objective was to be sexy, rather than just not to feel self-concious, it would be another decision.

When I think of a bra for an 11 year old, I'm thinking something like a sports bra or training bra. Unless she needs more than that, I would be concerned that the objective was not to fit in with other girls or avoid being embarrassed in gym class, and would be more about being "sexy" and passing for being older than she is, which I would not be OK with. So, to the original poster - you have a lot of opinions on this subject. If Mom says, "no", drop it before you drive her nuts. Wear an undershirt if you need more coverage and let it go. And in any event, stop obsessing about your breasts - you'll grow up fast enough. Think about something else - school, your friends, your sports and activities, your family, your homework - your breasts will develop on their own just the same whether you obsess about it or forget about it.

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Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

I didn't catch the "padded" bra thing, Judy so thanks for the correction. I would even be OK with a padded bra maybe for a junior or senior in high school for a girl who's especially small and embarrassed about it, but if the objective was to be sexy, rather than just not to feel self-concious, it would be another decision.

When I think of a bra for an 11 year old, I'm thinking something like a sports bra or training bra. Unless she needs more than that, I would be concerned that the objective was not to fit in with other girls or avoid being embarrassed in gym class, and would be more about being "sexy" and passing for being older than she is, which I would not be OK with. So, to the original poster - you have a lot of opinions on this subject. If Mom says, "no", drop it before you drive her nuts. Wear an undershirt if you need more coverage and let it go. And in any event, stop obsessing about your breasts - you'll grow up fast enough. Think about something else - school, your friends, your sports and activities, your family, your homework - your breasts will develop on their own just the same whether you obsess about it or forget about it.

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I mentioned the padded bra many posts ago. :(

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I agree, but the OP posted that she needs a bra, and then stated that she tried on her sisters padded bra, and it fit, and that she wants a padded bra as well.

Getting a padded bra when you're 20 and have nothing up top, is fine. Getting a padded bra at the age of 10/11 is no longer about being embarrassed or self conscious, it's about wanting to outdo or be like the rest of the herd. That, in my book, is not okay and not something a parent should encourage.

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Thanks, Alty - sorry I missed it. May have had to do with the fact that this discussion was in two different threads originally. Not intentional in any event and I think the OP has received copious advise from all of us, pretty much all good!

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Originally Posted by dontknownuthin

Thanks, Alty - sorry I missed it. May have had to do with the fact that this discussion was in two different threads originally. Not intentional in any event and I think the OP has recieved copious advise from all of us, pretty much all good!

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No worries. I just started thinking that maybe my posts were being cloaked. ;)

Well, the OP has her bra now. Hopefully mom didn't go for the padded bra.

Now I have to go make dinner with my 10 year old girl, who won't need a bra for many years, and thankfully doesn't want one. If she takes after me though, it won't be an option later in life. :(