None of that matters. It's not about you and it is not about her anymore. If she has decided to keep the baby, you will just have to deal with the responsibility and so will she, but now it's really not about either of you. It is about this child that is going to brought in to this world. Whether you take part in this child's life or not, he or she will always be a part of you and it is not fair to make this child pay for his/her parents shortcomings. My daughter has had to grow up with the knowledge of her father, but him never playing an active part in her life and I tell you it breaks my heart whenever her heart breaks for him. Think about what you would be giving up if you didn't take part, because you don't want to change your mind in the future and have to try to make up for "lost time" and discover that it is too late. Just think about this before you decide anything. And don't hate her, as cruel as she may be acting, she is still the mother of your child and she deserves as much respect as you deserve.

Spiral Jane
I could not have said that better! It is about the child now.

I think Fr_Chuck has given the best advice on this one!

WHY do men think ABORTION is nothing more than getting a TOOTH PULLED or something?
It's MURDER!!
Read the BIBLE MR is my advice to YOU!

Abortion should never be a option for anyone! There are people out there who can't have children and would love to be a parent; if she decides she wants to give the baby up.You guys made a child together! Maybe it's not revenge, maybe she wants to raise HER child and not murder him/her; maybe she says its revenge because she can't cope with going at this on her own; and really needs you there supporting her. I'm 18 I've been married almost a year and have a 4 month old daughter, whom I had when I was 17. She is the best thing that could ever happen to me! I was woman enough to raise my child.
I suggest sitting in on one of her ultrasounds; or going to one of her doctor visits.
Children are truly blessings no matter how old or young you are! Maybe one day you will be able to experience it. This is a decision that will change the rest of your life; for the best or for the worst!
Now that you are "grown up" and you are going to be a father you guys need to sit down and have a grown conversation and come to terms. She shouldn't have to worry about talking to you because every time you guys do you're going to ask if she's killed the baby yet. Maybe it will turn out for the best.
And if she does have an abortion I really hope you stay to watch what they have to do to that precious child.
A child should NEVER have to wander if they were a mistake!

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Originally Posted by endlessecho

I'm not saying she should for hevans sakes. I'm saying that if she wants to make all the decisions like so many pregnant girls often do, then she should be prepared to do it all herself to. I am not saying she should have to pay for everything just becuase the dad's father doesn't want to. You're twisting my words around. I'm saying that a girls should do whatever she wants with a kid she shares with someone else, and never respect there wishes, and just want thier money, it's F-up.

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All the decisions? There are only 3 options abort/ adopt/kept -- the only one the father has mentioned is abort.

Now remember when he says she's keEping the baby out of spite --we are hearing ONE SIDE OF THE STORY.

Savage

The person carrying and growing the child in HER womb has a lot more right to decide whether she wants to do it or not than the guy who screwed her without thought of consequence. (GLOVE UP or SHUT UP.) NO ONE has a child for the purposes of messing with someone else financially. There is FAR more involved in raising a child than $$$$$. The fact that anyone could be so little and selfish as to believe that a woman would have a child merely to FUC* with some they slept with is laughable. It speaks to immaturity and lack of the ability to understand what a pregnant (and abandoned) woman is facing. Any woman that says she is going to screw a man financially is NOT keeping a baby for that purpose. She is merely rightfully pissed at being left alone to care for a life she isn't interested in killing and CLEARLY did NOT create on her own. Deal with it.

Well there is certainly "more than meet the eye" here it is actually a sad situation from the perspective of the child. Hopefully the baby will be able to find some one to look to as a father figure.And as Vlee said its really not about money its about this kids rights to have people who want him and love him/her. And this is not the way one shows that.

Brilliant

–adjective 1.shining brightly; sparkling; glittering; lustrous: the brilliant lights of the city. 2.distinguished; illustrious: a brilliant performance by a young pianist. 3.having or showing great intelligence, talent, quality, etc.: a brilliant technician. 4.strong and clear in tone; vivid; bright: brilliant blues and greens; the brilliant sound of the trumpets. 5.splendid or magnificent: a brilliant social event. –noun 6.Jewelry. A gem, esp. a diamond, having any of several varieties of the brilliant cut.

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Originally Posted by TheSavage

now remember when he says shes keEping the baby out of spite --we are hearing ONE SIDE OF THE STORY.

Savage

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That's right, we only have this guys side of the story, yet more than half the responses on here are taking the mother's side... I think that is so far beyond wrong that I do't even know what to say!

You all need to get over your self-rightous selves and get a life. And most certainly stop telling people how to live thiers.

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Originally Posted by endlessecho

That's right, we only have this guys side of the story, yet more than half the responses on here are taking the mother's side... I think that is so far beyond wrong that I do't even know what to say!

You all need to get over your self-rightous selves and get a life. And most certainly stop telling people how to live thiers.

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Umm did you forget that this is a Q&A site? That people come here to get advice on how to live their lives? That's what we do here!!

YOU need to stop being so abusive of other people. Insults like "get a life" are NOT welcome here.

What about the baby's side?

Tell you what, Matt: You go right ahead and speak up for the rights of the baby, and I'll keep speaking up for the rights of the mother.

We'll never agree.

But hey! At least someone is speaking up for all sides, right?

Yes Matt, it is the unborn baby today that we are allowed to murder, I watched a film on partial birth abortion and to be honest I can not believe any person could do that to a child.

But we see it in society, what is best for ME, what is MY right not what is better for another person, our society has gotten selfish in its personal desires. And what is next, if killing them right at birth ( partial birth) I can see society saying OK they are only 2 year old, and disabled, lets kill them also. There is little difference, it is stlil the mothers choice??

And we have those that want to do away with the elderly, they complain about their cost on society, and would go though the nursing homes taking away the lifes of any that are not productive to society.

Life has little value or meaning to these type of people, it is all what is best for ME, The US has made life a disposable item up to the courts or a person to decide.

While abortion may be legal in the US, it does not make it right, the choice of 5 judges based on an incorrect ruling ( even the person who brought the case wants it over turned) does not make something right, only legal. For years it was legal to own slaves, did that make it right?

So at times, someone has to stand up and tell those that are so immoral in their beleifs that they don't understand that murder is wrong because it is a personal selfish desire, that they are wrong, no matter what the law says.

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Originally Posted by letamamya

Abortion should never be a option for anyone!

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I'm sorry but that IS taking the option away from everyone. Calling it murder also tries to take it away.

Whether life begins at conception or birth is a religious belief. Making a statement that abortion is murder is imposing your religious beliefs on others.

I am not pro abortion. I would counsel any female to consider the consequences of having one. But I do support their right to make that decision. You clearly don't.

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Originally Posted by Synnen

Tell you what, Matt: You go right ahead and speak up for the rights of the baby, and I'll keep speaking up for the rights of the mother.

We'll never agree.

But hey! At least someone is speaking up for all sides, right?

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Ok for one thing I'm not talking about abortion. I am talking about kids that are already born i.e.. The kids right to have a father that cares about him. Kids out of the womb also have rights. But since you brought it up the mother has the choice (generally) to get pregnant, the baby has none. The mother has the right to not get pregnant, not extinguish a life.

Ok, I'm all for ppl's rights, but a kid not born and completely developed doesn't have much. My opinion is that its wrong to make everyone suffer and yourself due to a bad choice. Just because I'd take the pill or if I had to get a abortion, either there really the same... anyway, I'm not selfish, cruel or all about myself. I care about my fiancé, and other's more then myself. BUT if your not ready to have a kid you shouldn't be frowned on for not having on.e. Grow up people, no offense but it's the 21st century. Some people make bad chocies for no good reason, but I like to think many more do things for the right reasons. Doctor's tried to help women and their families with this and created ways to delay or stop pregnancy. Not all of us veiw what we did as a mistake. I have a healthy sex life and guess what? I'm not going to stop just because someone is stupid and tries to make me feel bad or tries to boss me around. If I get pregnant and don't want to be, then I'm taking a pill. I'm not rdy for kids, if I ever am more then a few months along id change my story about delaying or stopping pregnancy. But seriously, its my body and every women's yes, BUT if your with a man it is his body and life as well. SORRY to tell you, if you don't think so, then you have no reaspect for your man in my opinion. I'm not saying if he tells you to shoot yourself do it, figure it out.

Oh and are you also saying that a raped women must have the kid? F that. If you said no she doesn't have to, then right their your being a hypocrite and saying abortion aka ''delaying or stopping pg'' is OK in certain situaions and you my friend need it grow up. Its all or nothing. Pick or choose. You sure can't ride both sides of the fence. I know a chick who was raped and got pg. She had an abortion because she didn't have the means of taking care of a child AND every time she'd look at it she'd know it was because she was raped. That's great huh? So I backed her up. I'd do the same. Why bother wasting 9 months of hell then giving to adoption? That's stupid, just get it out and then its over. Move on. She did. _That was just a story to explain myself.

Well lets all just be glad our mothers didn't consider us "stupid mistakes."

Heh, my mother didn't want me, she had sex because my dad bet he could screw a fat chick. Look here I am! Lol, anyone else have a crapy birth story?

Don't feel bad. Mom stopped taking her birth control and by the time she confessed it to my dad, she was already pregnant, she just didn't know it. Lol

And my fiancé only had sex with his ex because he was horney hand hungover/drunk, and she ended up knocked up.

By the way, since you are the only one that cares Raynefreak, he has childsupport court in two weeks, and in a month, I have court with his ex from where she keyed my car. The estimated damage is worth $840.35! And I only paid $500 for my car... lol talk about bad Karma for her...

So how have you been? I'm not on here much. For the oh-so-obvious reasons.

Why would you want to sign your rights away this little human is yours its suxs she sounds like a witch but you need to step up and take responsibility.

Children don't need both origanal parent's. Sometime's having a sep-parent is better then the real one's. Sometime's having one parent can be a good thing. Sometime's being adopted is good as well. It depends on the situation/s. The court system thinks only to make the women happy, hardly ever about the man. Or this is true with my uncle's case. But no one care's. My uncle is devorced and his witch of a x is NOT a parent. What kind of mom would make her kids move just because she was selfish and wanted ALL the money and nameless other things? Sometime's people don't deserve to be parent's, the court is wrong sometime's and that's my point. If you ever disagree then fight for your belief's.

I agree with you totally Ryanefreak, but for some reason, I wasn't able to 'rate' your answer to tell you. But you are right, most court systems and people are going to take the mother's side with out really thinking about the facts.

I would guess that most people here taking the anti-abortion side are parents, while their pro choice counterparts are not. For anyone who has a child and loves him or her, it is impossible to imagine life without them, even if they were conceived in less than desirable circumstances. However, even those who think abortion is OK in some situations (as I do) can not deny that although the final decision lies in the mother's hands, the father already knows that this is the way things work before having sex. Therefore he has no legitimate basis for expecting a woman to follow his desires to abort a baby. The courts give women the right to choose because it is the woman's body that shelters and grows the child. It is the woman who has to physically change and be capable of caring for the unborn baby in her womb. It is the woman who risks the health problems that can result from having a child. It is the woman, in this sort of situation, who is ALONE, with no partner to support her during pregnancy or delivery, or God forbid a miscarriage or stillbirth. Yet she is willing to take on this incredible challenge by herself. No uninvolved man has any right to tell her whether she should mother her own child. And he has no right to walk away from his child either. He could have opted not to have sex, or to use birth control. Instead he helped create a baby. There are consequences for that, but there is also great reward.

I too am a pro-choice parent. As I stated, it was just a guess. Adoption is a great alternative, but is equally not always a viable option when one parent wants the child and the other does not, since both parents have to sign away their rights. In the case of the OP here, he says she plans to keep the baby and he doesn't want to. So while he has asked her to abort, she has chosen not to. He would probably be agreeable to adoption, but it doesn't sound like she would based on what he wrote. Maybe one day she will find a guy who wants to be a father to her child, then the OP can allow him to adopt their child.

I Have A 6 Year Old Son Who's "donor" Signed Over Every Single Right He Had When My Son Was 9 Months Old, He Did Not Pay Child Support After That And He Never Paid It Before That So There Is No Difference There. He Has Not Called Or Tried To Contact Me Since 2001 And My Son Is Better Off, He Never Treated Me Good For 2 Years And He Would Have Never Treated My Son Good. I Live In Pennsylvania And That's Our Law Here, But Just Some Words Of Advice Think Long And Hard Before You Go Down That Road, It Might Seem Hard Now To Think Of Being A Father But Having A Child Is A Wonderful Thing, Just Because You Have A Child Doesn't Mean You Have To Be The Mothers Boyfriend, That Child Will Always Have You Has His/her Dad, Give It A Chance, You Will Regret It Maybe Not Now But Eventually You Will Believe Me. Good Luck!!

Brook

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Originally Posted by brooklyn1380

I Have A 6 Year Old Son Who's "donor" Signed Over Every Single Right He Had When My Son Was 9 Months Old, He Did Not Pay Child Support After That And He Never Paid It Before That So There Is No Difference There. ... I Live In Pennsylvania And Thats Our Law Here,

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If he has not paid child support, that's because you haven't required it. If you pursued support through the courts, he would have to pay. I don't know of any state laws that allow a bio father to voluntarily and legally not pay support.

In Pennsylvania When You Sign Over Every Single Right You Have As A Parent There Is No Way To Get Child Support, Basically It's Almost Like He Disappears Off The Face Of The Earth (which He Did), He Has No Rights At All As A Parent Therefore Not Even Being Eligible To Pay For Suupport For A Child That He Gave Away.

Brook

I too am from PA, can not find one single case where giving up parental rights resulted in giving up parental obligations. Every site I've been to says the same thing... You may be able to give up rights, but you still have to financially support your child. It can even be difficult to give up rights, as a judge must agree that it is in the best interest of the child. There was a case in PA in 2005 where a sperm donor was sued for child support... and lost! The state Supreme Court upheld the family court's decision. As far as I know the donor planned to file an appeal at the US Supreme Court level.

Brook, See what vlee said. I think you are completely wrong in this. If you can cite one stature or rulling that supports your contention, please do. But unless you can back up what you say, especially when it contradcits what several other people have said, please don't give misinformation. We pride ourselves on the quality of the advice we give here. Incorrect advice will be corrected.

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Originally Posted by rexero2007

I am an 18 yr old male in michigan . i got my ex girlfriend pregnant right before we broke up. she refuses to get an abortion because she really hates me and wants to do this as revenge in her own words she wants to "take me for every dollar i have" . I have offered to pay for an abortion and she even said she went and got one on her own only to find out months later that she still hasnt got one. My question is if i sign away my rights will I still have to pay child support for a child she is trying to use against me

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Ok, I quit reading responses because this post has gotten way out of hand.

Let’s look at it this way:
1) It takes 2 people to make a baby... Rex, if you didn't want a child at 18 then honestly you should have been protected so that would not happen. And vice versa, she should have been protected also if she didn't want a child.

2) Abortion SHOULD NOT be used as a form of birth control. That (in MY opinion) is stupidity on anyone’s part. Again, if you are not ready for a child then PROTECT yourself.

3) You are upset, I understand. Maybe she said that because she is upset too. She was in a relationship that went sour (for reasons none of us know) and after you broke up she finds out she is pregnant. She probably was not expecting the response that she got from you and she lashed out. That is completely wrong of her and any "parent" that would use a child against the other parent just to "take you for every dollar you have" should not be a parent at all.

Unfortunately, you are in a world that no longer looks at things realistically. This world has become not about equal rights but about switching roles. Instead of giving us women the right to equality we have now been given the upper hand against men. To all those that have said "It is our body" I say this. Yes it is OUR body, but it is also Their baby too. The father should have an option in this too. If you want to have this baby and he does not, then he should have the right to not be ANY part of this child's life just as you have the right to have it. Same goes for men who want the child and the women does not, but that is a different post.

Right on! I agree with you 100%!!

This thread is THREE YEARS OLD.

CLOSED.