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Originally Posted by cak10

She's 14 and dosen't know, how do I begin to tell her her dad is not her dad, my husband has always been there no one else, what about her feelings now and what if nothing ever happens medically. My gut is telling me to keep this the way it is. I'm torn, I'm afraid to tell my daughter.

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I think that if you do plan to tell her, I would never say "Joe isnt your dad" as that is a negative statement and will forever stick in her head. I would phrase it differently and always refer to 'Joe' as Daddy and to the Biological Father as such. Possibly have the pregnancy photos and photos of the two of them together on hand to show her that 'Daddy' is who loves you and who raised you, not just who was the biological material. Good luck on whatever you decide!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cak10

She's 14 and dosen't know, how do I begin to tell her her dad is not her dad, my husband has always been there no one else, what about her feelings now and what if nothing ever happens medically. My gut is telling me to keep this the way it is. I'm torn, I'm afraid to tell my daughter.

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I'll bet that sooner will be a lot better than later. It seems that the longer that there is a secret the longer that it will take for her to trust you until she can cope with the situation.

Tough situation. Someone's got to tell her sooner or later, either you or her non-bio father. It's going to hurt her probably, knowing this guy isn't the guy that created her, and that you knew about it and did not tell her. You could always just let her found out for herself, but I advise you to tell her.