Ask Me Help Desk - Toddler same sex questions

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmjoseph

I have two young sons and am actually beside myself over this thread. At FOUR YEARS OLD, you are bringing this subject up? Even if he ends up being gay, you should love him unconditionally. What would you do differently if someone here told you to be worried?

Play John Wayne movies for him? Get him some chewing tobacco?

And Mystique, It's a HELL of a note that you think that HAIL is spelled "HALE".

I too am Catholic, and you should be ashamed of yourself using OUR religion as validity for your hatred of homosexuality.

I am feeling compelled to respond, though I really prefer not to…but here it goes. The response regarding being religious stemmed from this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

Why would you be worried if your son is gay?
Are you religious or something?

So being religious I just responded in that position as a response and it doesn't change the way I feel about my kids and if they choose not to be Catholic later (or be gay) then so be it! I did say so be it! And I also said that I would try to understand.…as you can see I typed really fast and made a few errors…I guess I should edit and review information submitted to ensure there are no errors as I type 90 words per minute…but I am human and make mistakes as my computer; so sue me…if that makes me any less Catholic in your eyes then it just does. I also agree with the age factor:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistique

Being 4 years old, I wouldn't take too much into holding hands and expressing emotions to their friends...children don't really know what love or like are...or the difference too much (each child is different) but the second part about "boys are suppose to like girls but I love my friend" kind of alarms me.

and

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistique

This could be a stage and he could grow out of it.

I can say it alarms me, because I would have questions about this too “I knew in advance that I would have these reactions but it isn't going to stop me from saying anything now (though in the future I will remain completely reserved afraid that my communications will be misunderstood). It's like not reading an entire sentence. I have a handful of kids around me and not one usually asks questions like that…so resources even for the future are helpful (being supportive, nurturing and understanding – knowing how to respond).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistique

It doesn't make you love your son any less...as you know with your husbands child, just talk, be supportive and try to answer his questions appropriately (as you are).

Then reaction occurred to this…

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

"I hope that helps...I know I probably would be shunned if I said this but I really don't want my child or children to be gay, lesbian or bisexual - my husband and I would be ballistic at first (we are Catholic)...I want grandchildren and a normal family life like the one I grew up in"

When after I said that this part was left out?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistique

(though now there really isn't a norm and we all have to change our perception because everyone is entitled to live their lives the way they want to (religious, cultural, sexual...etc) it's mutual respect). Example, someone might not agree with the way I live my life either right? So visa versa...the more you educate yourself; the more prepared you will be to answer and assist in child development. You can't force anyone to do anything and so be it! Your relationship with your child (no matter what they decide) is most important, their fragile and will need support. Happiness first. Continue building a loving relationship...I would read up on it to find ways and support for you to find the proper ways of dealing with these type of questions...since your straight it isn't something you understand (me either) but make an effort to; you don't want a troubled child to adult relationship.

I am not saying that I would not accept or love them any less at all? I just suggested doing some personal reading and finding resources to help answer these type of questions might relieve the op's concerns.

I actually agree with everyone…I am not sure where my communication was lost?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistique

I am feeling compelled to respond, though I really prefer not to…but here it goes. The response regarding being religious stemmed from this:

So being religious I just responded in that position as a response and it doesn’t change the way I feel about my kids and if they choose not to be Catholic later (or be gay) then so be it! I did say so be it! And I also said that I would try to understand.…as you can see I typed really fast and made a few errors…I guess I should edit and review information submitted to ensure there are no errors as I type 90 words per minute…but I am human and make mistakes as my computer; so sue me…if that makes me any less Catholic in your eyes then it just does. I also agree with the age factor:
and I can say it alarms me, because I would have questions about this too “I knew in advance that I would have these reactions but it isn’t going to stop me from saying anything now (though in the future I will remain completely reserved afraid that my communications will be misunderstood). It’s like not reading an entire sentence. I have a handful of kids around me and not one usually asks questions like that…so resources even for the future are helpful (being supportive, nurturing and understanding – knowing how to respond).Then reaction occurred to this…
When after I said that this part was left out?
I am not saying that I would not accept or love them any less at all? I just suggested doing some personal reading and finding resources to help answer these type of questions might relieve the op’s concerns.

I actually agree with everyone…I am not sure where my communication was lost?

One has to wonder why you deleted one of your posts, then came back to post this? :rolleyes:

Maybe you need to take a break from this thread. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

One has to wonder why you deleted one of your posts, then came back to post this? :rolleyes:

Maybe you need to take a break from this thread. ;)

Yeah I agree... I did originally post a second time - then chose to be non-confrontational (as it won't help the OP right?)... to find that later I would be compelled to respond regardless.

See you guys later and sorry for any misunderstandings.

Closed