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Originally Posted by talaniman

I can't blame the grandmother at all because she does a lot of work and her daughter gets the child support. That would piss me off and you two need to work together, and make some changes that will be a lot fairer than letting the ex have the money and no responsibility. Why in the world would you send child support to her and not the grandmother is beyond me. If the support is court ordered then so is visitation and joint custody. You need to straighten this out asap. Sorry to be blunt and for asking so many questions but I know you want the best suggestions I can give and to be honest, I'm not understanding how the ex gets paid and grandma does the work. Doesn't sound money hungry to me, but doesn't sound fair either.

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I don't let ex have money its court ordered child support and there is no set visitation or anything I see him when I want to.I buy him everything and she still wants money

“...He also lives there because mom doesn’t see him at all. His with me most of time he really just sleeps at grandmas house. is at my house like 3 or 4 days a week because I don’t have a set shift for work-in paying child support to mom but lives wit b/f son lives wit grand ...”

“...would go beat them to custody but what’s stopping me right now is my work schedule I am on call which means i go in when they call me I don’t have...” a

“...don’t let ex have money its court ordered child support and there is no set visitation or anything I see him when I want to. I buy him everything and she still wants money...”


Baby... are you concentrating on your response... or are you hiding something... do you feel bad that the child is not in your custody and you do not want any one caring for him... your answers are confusing... this is your child also... the mother (if we are to believe what you are saying) has abandon the child for life of a substance abuser... and the grandmother is putting her foot down on you both... by going for custody of her grand child... she is not after you because she hates you or wishes to harm... both of you have shown a lack of serious concern for the child... the both of you are after each other and losing focus on the what should be the most precious event in all of our lives your child... if grand mother goes and get help from the welfare department then you both are obligated by law in most states to refund the state for the funds used... the state will come after you and the mother of the child for a repayment of funds... You... Daddy... go to the prosecutor office of family affairs and make arrangements for child support payments make them to the grandmother... and tell the mother of the child she has to do the same... if not make sure the law comes after her for support... and if you are going for custody... you need to do that now... make arrangements for child care... hire an au pair/nanny... since your hours are the issues of whether you will seek custody

After giving this thought and doing research , I think you should get a lawyer and file for full custody now and not wait . The reason being you can already demonstrate to the court that A) Your wife's life is unstable and B) you and the grandmother have worked together to provide a stable environment and a loving home. C) you are very much a part of his life. If the grandmother continues to take him to school and there is no reason to believe she won't, then you can stop paying child support and she will have that burden to pay you and you and the grandmother can make some fair arrangement. I will not let you hide behind the excuse of waiting until you have a set schedule, It does not meet logic, just based on what you have written. By filing now your rights will supersede all other claims and put you in the drivers seat and the way the courts are it may take a while to get a court date. Start now by consulting an attorney and he can advise you. If there is a flaw in my logic let me know. The child comes first and I hope you get right on this. I hope this helps Good Luck!