I am head over heels for this guy. I don't understand why people think he is going to rape me. We have not had sex, and I have not had sex with a 20 yr. old guy. I think that if I am head over heels and he cares about me then it should be legal.

I think a lot of things should be legal but they aren't. That is why there are laws because if everybody had what they wanted there would be no structure.

You may be head over heels for this guy but he left you so not much you can do.

Yes that is true. And I understand why laws are laws, but also shouldn't people understand that if you truly love someone or your falling in love with them they should be able to be with each other? Yes he did leave me, and the reason for that is because he wants to wait until I'm a bit older. I just don't really understand why I can't be with him if we like each other as much as we do.

The law is that you can be together as in go out, hang out, be friends but NO SEX.
It is better that way anyway even if you were over 18 because too many people jump into bed right off the bat and their relationship is based on sex. Then down the road they start getting to know each other and realize what did I get myself into. I believe that is the main reason for such a bad success rate in relationships. If he is willing to give it another chance in a couple years or so then that may just be best to accept that for now.

The laws are here to protect people.

The fact is, you're 16, you don't have the maturity that a 25 year old has. You will make poor choices, and the law is there to protect you from those choices.

You may love him, but the question is, should he love you? The answer is no.

He's 25 years old, he's an adult. Heck, I got married at the age of 24, you're not even old enough to vote. That's a huge age gap, a huge gap in maturity and a huge gap in experience.

Personally, I agree with this law.

I also understand how you feel, so don't think I'm talking out of my arse. I was 16 once too, and I dated a guy much older then me, much older then the guy you were dating. He did take advantage of me, but I didn't care. He had a car, he had his own place, he had a job and cool friends and he could do things I couldn't. When it ended and I grew up a bit, I realized that I didn't love him, I loved the fact that he was so grown up.

Really, you'll be in and out of love tons of times before you actually find "the one". :)

I do accept it. Or at least I'm trying to. We have never had sex, and we weren't planning on it. He respected the fact that I wanted to get to know him before jumping into bed with him, and that is one of the reasons I liked him so much. But I am going to do my best to stay friends with him until I get older and we will see if it will work out then.

Yes that is true. And I don't think you are talking out of your arse. I personally just think that if I love him and he loves me we should be able to be with each other. Yes I like the fact that he works, and drives and has his own place. Well I am a recovering drug addict... and he is supporting me with that, helping me with staying clean and doing my steps and such. So that's another thing that I love about him. Hes not only a gentleman he really cares about me. And I respect that, I just wish someone would understand my side

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Originally Posted by aj93

Yes that is true. And i understand why laws are laws, but also shouldnt people understand that if you truley love someone or your falling in love with them they should be able to be with eachother? Yes he did leave me, and the reason for that is because he wants to wait until im a bit older. I just dont really understand why I can't be with him if we like eachother as much as we do.

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I've highlighted the key phrase here. At 16 you are generally NOT able to tell if you do truly love someone. That's why these laws exist. To protect people too young to know the difference between true love and infatuation. I know you feel its true love. But I'm wondering how many times you thought it was true love and how many more times you will feel that way.

Like I said, give it a couple of years. If you still feel the same way when you are 18, then go for it.

Yep time is on your side to build a solid foundation and that is the best way to know you truly love someone and they truly love you back. It is good he is respecting you keep it that way.

Understandable. I have never felt this way about anyone, and I don't think ill ever feel this way about anyone else. He is what I want and what I need at this point. He is the only person who is supporting me threw my recovery and I'm so proud to call him a friend. I just wish I was old enough to call him my boyfriend. But I am going to wait until I'm 18. Like everyone has said to me, I am too young and I know that. But I can't help how I feel about him.

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Originally Posted by aj93

Yes that is true. And i dont think you are talking out of your arse. i personally just think that if i love him and he loves me we should be able to be with eachother. Yes i like the fact that he works, and drives and has his own place. Well i am a recovering drug addict... and he is supporting me with that, helping me with staying clean and doing my steps and such. So thats another thing that i love about him. Hes not only a gentleman he really cares about me. and i respect that, i just wish someone would understand my side

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The fact is, if you love him now you'll love him 5 years from now, when you're an adult and old enough to decide who you want to be with.

Love doesn't fade.

I do understand your side of this, that's why I'm telling you that you're too young. Really, wait a few years, you'll see things clearly then.

It's hard to be a teen, I remember, but it will pass, really it will. Before you know it you'll be an adult and you'll be giving the same advice to other teens that we're giving you. :)

I guess your right. I'll just have to wait till I am older...