Ask Me Help Desk

Quote:

Originally Posted by olliejones46

Heya, I'm KelcG's mate, I think what she is trying to say is that she has got bras but they are only A's, she needs some bigger bras, her mum doesn't really talk to her about this stuff, so she's not sure how to approach her.

My wife is an A cup.. and she's got more than a 3" difference in her two measurements.

If she's outgrown her current bra....she really does need to talk to her mom....panties don't just grow on trees...bras while a tad more complicated really aren't a lot different....meaning..."mom these panties are a bit too tight... I need a larger size"... and she will be talking to mom about her period and everything involved soon if she isn't already... and that would be a more sensitive subject.

Quote:

Originally Posted by olliejones46

Heya, I'm KelcG's mate, I think what she is trying to say is that she has got bras but they are only A's, she needs some bigger bras, her mum doesn't really talk to her about this stuff, so she's not sure how to approach her.

At last thanks ollie! ;) XX

Quote:

Originally Posted by olliejones46

Heya, I'm KelcG's mate, I think what she is trying to say is that she has got bras but they are only A's, she needs some bigger bras, her mum doesn't really talk to her about this stuff, so she's not sure how to approach her.

My mom didn't talk about this stuff either. (I was her first child and first daughter and had to break the ice on a lot of stuff. Eight years after I was born, my sister came along and had an easier time of it, thanks to my bravery about girl stuff.)

Soooooooooo, I had to be the grownup and ask for help and ask to go shopping. Now it's KelcG's turn to be a grownup.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

My mom didn't talk about this stuff either. (I was her first child and first daughter and had to break the ice on a lot of stuff. Eight years after I was born, my sister came along and had an easier time of it, thanks to my bravery about girl stuff.)

Soooooooooo, I had to be the grownup and ask for help and ask to go shopping. Now it's KelcG's turn to be a grownup.

That's nice, you're being very supportive! :) I live with my dad so I kind of understand how it can be awkward! :/ x

Quote:

Originally Posted by olliejones46

Heya, I'm KelcG's mate, I think what she is trying to say is that she has got bras but they are only A's, she needs some bigger bras, her mum doesn't really talk to her about this stuff, so she's not sure how to approach her.

While she may thinks she needs them, in my experience young girls often feel they need a bigger bra when they don't. Clearly Kel is being influenced by her mistaken reading of the sizing info she has read online.

But, again, this is simple. What happened when she first got bras? Did she ask mom for them then or did mom notice? In any case, she just goes to mom and tells her that she thinks she is outgrowing the bras she has and can we go shopping for some new ones.

Quote:

Originally Posted by olliejones46

That's nice, you're being very supportive! :) I live with my dad so I kind of understand how it can be awkward! :/ x

We are all trying to be supportive. And yes I can understand how this would be uncomfortable to talk with a dad about. In your case, I would recommend talking to a adult female. A grand mother, Aunt, older cousin, even dad's girlfriend (if there is one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kelcG

At last thanks ollie! ;) XX

At last what?

Quote:

Originally Posted by olliejones46

That's nice, you're being very supportive! :) I live with my dad so I kind of understand how it can be awkward! :/ x

If you don't live with your mom.. talk with your dad... trust me... while HE might not have gone through this himself... he isn't oblivious to the most intimate needs of a female.

There is really no reason to be embarrassed, or ashamed. Any man who has been married and lived with a woman for more than a few months is as aware of all the needs a woman has, and in some cases even more than she is.

Its normal... and every young lady goes through this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by olliejones46

That's nice, you're being very supportive! :) I live with my dad so I kind of understand how it can be awkward! :/ x

Thank you. And like someone had said here, these are the first of many sensitive conversations you and Kel are going to have with one parent or another.

Someday, the tables are going to be turned and you will become the grownup and your parent(s) will become the child(ren). That's where i am now. My mom is 89, and my sibs and I have to ask her about personal stuff that no one wants to talk about. We had to make her stop driving because she was dangerous on the road, plus she's got memory loss and can't take care of herself very well any longer. She can't cook or remember to bathe or even remember how to comb her hair. Meanwhile, we have to respect her as our mom, even though she acts like she is our child.

I have an 11 year old daughter. In her entire class there's really only one girl that's developed enough to need a bra, and she's a AAA at most. Not to say that some girls don't develop faster than others, it does happen.

A few weeks ago my daughters best friend, who is a year older than her, gave her some of her clothes that she no longer wears. In that stack was a really cool shirt, we both loved it. Only problem was the way it's cut, if Syd lifts her arms you can see from one end to the other, and everything in between. No, she's not developed, but she is 11 and doesn't want everyone seeing everything, and neither do I.

So we looked for an undershirt. Couldn't find one in her size. We went to Dollarama, and I saw sports bras for kids. Basically they're undershirts that are shorter, but they're called a sports bra. You don't need a bust to wear them. So I bought them for her, 2 for $2, great deal, and the trim on them was the same color of the shirt. Win win.

She was thrilled. She told me that she's the only girl in her class that doesn't have a bra. So I asked her if that bothered her. She said it didn't, but that she really wants to wear this shirt and realizes she needs to have something on underneath. She also told me that she really doesn't want to wear a bra under her other shirts, because she doesn't need one.

So we had a long discussion about this. I told her about the many posts we get here on AMHD, girls her age or younger, asking us how they can ask their moms for a bra. Syd's response "they probably want one because everyone else has one, but they don't really need one. I know I can ask you when I need one, but I don't think I have to, because you'll know. But maybe it bothers these kids that they don't have a bra when everyone else in their class does, even if they don't really need one. Me, I don't really care. I know I don't need one, and I really don't want to wear one if I don't have to, but I am happy that you bought me some, even though I won't wear it all the time, only with that one shirt".

The lesson is, most moms will take their daughters shopping for a bra when they realize that their daughter needs one. So my question is, is this a matter of need, or want? I used to have the opinion that if you don't need one, you shouldn't ask for one. But there's no harm in getting a child a training bra so she doesn't feel so self conscious.

Talk to mom. If you really do need a bigger bra, she'll take you shopping. According to your friend she already bought you a training bra, so why wouldn't she buy you a bigger one if you need it?

Talk to mom. She's your mom, and she will understand. I have a feeling that it's much more scary for you than it is for her, she's been there and done that.