Ask Me Help Desk - Should we have the baby?

I am glad that parents can't make them get an abortion any more but I know many parents that use their parental you do as I say or else... '

She is definitely going to have to stand her ground!

In my opinion its truly sad when parents press charges against their daughters child's father... unless of course it was truly rape. However, a 15-16 year old, with a 17-barely 18 year old, having concentual sex, I personally don't consider it rape. And to tear them apart, espeically when a baby is involved, is only teaching them that they can't trust their parents with anything. I want my children to believe they can come to me about ANY problem they have, without the fear of being arrested or pursecuted you know what I mean? Its confusing. I'm not sure I'm explaining it correctly.

Sometimes in some states the hospital will report it.
I know the law is that under 15 is considered jail bait in any state if you are over 15.
I agree that it is harsh to do that to a guy when it is mutual but the law is that a minor can not consent.
Some guys are listed as sexual predators on megans law for being with their girl friend that the law deemed too young.

You need to tell your parents, pronto! I know you're scared and yes they will probably freak out, but they will calm down. You are their daughter and they are there to help you.
You are never stuck with anyone - even if you have this baby, you never have to stay with anyone that you don't want to be with. He can still be a father to the baby, but he doesn't have to be your boyfriend.

Also once a baby is born it often tends to halt the negative feelings and bring family together.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

sometimes in some states the hospital will report it.

We cannot report it. It is part of the patient's file and therefore would go against HIPAA laws.

Hey J_9, does that apply to ALL ages? I know that for a 15+ girl its not reported, but what about a pregnant girl younger than that? Like, in an extream case, 11 or 12?

Yeah I heard that the hospitals can get a guy in trouble in certain states.
I don't know how they would get around the HIPAA laws though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

hey J_9, does that apply to ALL ages? i know that for a 15+ girl its not reported, but what about a pregnant girl younger than that? like, in an extream case, 11 or 12?

That is dependent of the situation. If it is rape by a family member, then yes we report it. If it is rape by a known sex offender, then we report it. Otherwise, we encourage the family to report it.

Perhaps one of the hardest parts of getting pregnant as a teen is telling your parents (and you will have to tell them at some point). Speak with the father of your child to see if he is willing to be there with you when you tell your parents. Be willing to do the same for him when he tells his parents. If you think it will be easier, you might want to tell one parent first and then let them tell the other or be there with you when you break the news.

You could also write your parents a letter. Tell them you really want and need their support right now. Obviously, you don't want your parents to freak out, but understand that they probably will. Give them a chance to absorb the news and then talk with them calmly. Explain what happened, whether you made the mistake of not using birth control or you used birth control but it didn't work. If you've made a choice about your pregnancy, tell them about your decision and explain how you came to that conclusion. Listen to any objections that they might have. They might raise a point that you hadn't thought of.

If you have decided to become a parent, your parents will probably be very concerned since you are still a child yourself (at least to them). They do have a right to be concerned. It is well known that teen mothers are at a significant disadvantage in society compared with women who become mothers later in life.

Babies born to teen mothers tend to have a lower birth weight, have a higher risk of suffering from abuse or neglect and tend to perform poorly in school. Only a small number of teen mothers are likely to complete high school and even fewer will go on to higher education. Teen mothers are also more likely to end up on welfare.

But just because these statistics exist, doesn't mean you have to become part of it. There are teen mothers who have gone on to success, through hard work, determination, and a strong support system. And it's not only your parents who can offer you support. Other family members might be able to help you out along with some of your friends.

Also, check out what your community has to offer. There may be special organizations or services designed to help out teen mothers. Check to see if any high schools near you offer daycare services that would allow you to go to school and have your baby nearby. You could also check to see if there are any schools that are specifically geared towards teen mothers.

Being pregnant when you are a teenager can be very scary. Don't be afraid to ask for help whether it is from your parents, your friends, your partner, or from a community organization. Remember, there's a reason for the saying "It takes a village to raise a child."

Maybe the above maybe helpful - source - LEARN: Telling your parents Teen PREGNANCY

I personally am against abortion, therefore I advise you to talk to your parents. Make sure you get medical care. And consider keeping the baby or giving him/her up for adoption.

You are young, and should probably give the baby up for adoption. But that is definitely up to you and you boyfriend and even your parents can help with that decision.

Make sure to include the baby's father in every decision.

A great show that teaches a lesson in this situatuion is the Secret Life of The American Teenager on ABC Family at 8 pm (eastern) on mondays

Good luck