Sweetheart, you really don't get it do you? $2,500 a month, that's what you and Steven make together, is not nearly enough to support a family of three. Not by a long shot.

I know you've taken care of babies, your sister, handicapped kids, but they AREN'T yours, and there is a difference.

Do you realize that teens risk their lives everyday by becoming pregnant? One of this problems with teen pregnancy is called pregnancy induced hypertension. It can lead to something called eclampsia, which causes you to go into seizures and possibly die during childbirth. Are you ready for that?

Are you ready for the millions of dollars it would cost should your baby be sick and in NICU for months only to grow up and possible be mentally challenged?

Your body is hardly even used to having periods let alone being pregnant. Please give your body time to grow enough so that you are healthy enough to carry a child to term.

If you aren't doing it for yourself, then who are you doing it for?

I've said all I can, ultimately the decision is in your hands, it's not like I can stop you. I know, for a fact, that you will regret having a child at your age. It's not to late, you aren't pregnant yet, just think it over, really, really think it over, please, at least do that.

Like I said before, if you ever need to talk I'm here as are many others that really want to help you. I've been on this site for a while now and I happen to know that all the experts here are genuinely caring, kind, loving people. Listen to J9, she knows what she's talking about, Wondergirl would never steer you wrong either. Really listen dear, and stop rationalizing, you'll only end up hurting yourself and your potential child.

All the best to you in the future, take care.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by worriedteen

I have lower stomach gurgling, I feel sick, tired and have to use the bathroon alot. I had a miscarrage a few months back could this be sideffects or something different? Me and my fiansee have been trying for a baby could I be preganat or just sick?

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Hi...

Just looked at your question,I also had a misscarage but I did not suffer from these sideafects so if I was you I would go and buy a pregancey test just to make sure, by the sounds of what you said using the loo a lot,sicknes,their all signs of preangcey... but make sure you know for sure before you get your hopes up.. I wish you and your partner all the best :)

Take care
Shell

Well I feel sick so I am getting of for the day. And going to text my friend Kristen. Anyone need me call me. Those who have my number

Sweeite, please don't post your phone number, this is a world wide website and you don't know what freaks may track you down.

You see, posting your phone number as you did just shows your level of immaturity. I don't mean that as a bad thing, but rather that you don't quite understand the ways of the world yet.

You are nowhere near ready to have a child.

I know your young as I have read the comments others have left.. believe me having a child is not easy for you or your partner it means 24/7 care,say good bye to your freedom it's a big responabity on u,and being young yourself you have your whole life ahead of u.. my sister is 25 and she has 5 kids,and her 6th child on the way and trust me I have seen her struggle, yes she has her family to help her but like w say " we won't be around foever".. its not now you have to think about, its years to come when you want to go out, or all your friends are going out for the day and they ask you to go, but you can't because you have a child to look afte, there is no point in saying "Oh my family member can look after it"... its your responablity till its 18,even then it won't stop asking for your advice... just thik of what your doing and what you really want before you start jumping ahead of yourself on this baby thing its a lot for a young person to take on even if your partner is with u.

A perspective from a 22 year old guy...

... what are you thinking? Who put you up to this pregnancy idea? In fact, your "fiancee" want this kid as well?. or is he just saying this to please you? Whatever reason you may have to want a kid, is the wrong reason... and even if it was the right one, chances are, a child won't fix it.

Yes, you've "babysat" your sister... you've taken a class on "child care"... you've worked with disabled children.. . All of these things are all temporary things... You didn't babysit your sister 24 hours of the day nor did you pay for everything for her. Taking a course on anything in life means absolutely nothing. Working with disabled kids... what, 4 - 5 hours a day? Max?

These wonderful people here are all older women who've had the experience in the world that no class can afford to give you. Listen to them. There's a reason they're on here and have been here for quite some time.

Here's an idea... go to your local Planned Parenthood center. They have counselors there that can tell you EXACTLY what to expect when having a child. Medically, childbirth isn't all gits and shiggles... and J_9 and I can personally attest to that. It's not "OUCH...OUCH" then the child pops out. Here's a SMALL insight to childbirth... did you know that nine times out of ten, you're going to poop in the middle of childbirth? Yep. Bet you didn't know that. The local Planned Parenthood center can possibly have one of those plastic babies that you can "practice" having a child with... it's scheduled to go off crying at certain times, etc.

If you can obtain one of these, and you can last two weeks without possibly dropping the child, throwing it into the wall, or ripping your own hair out, then... you "might" have a chance at taking care of a child.

You and your "fiancee" (you call him this... so I'm hoping that he actually proposed to you and actually gave you a ring of some sort, and not just "hey, let's get married...here's a mood ring") make 2500 a month.. . that's 30K a year before taxes. That's funny. That's far less than what I make, and I'm having a rough time supporting my own self...

With no college education, you two can't make it very far anymore, not in this world, and not in this time. In fact, go here:

Cost Of Raising A Child and Child Care Cost - BabyCenter

That can tell you what to expect... and I think this calculator's a gross under-estimation, as it lists "healthcare" as 685 a year... when in fact, if you have no insurance, a simple visit to the pediatrician can run you about 200. Also, it doesn't say that the child will use any toys or even diapers. Do you really want to bring a child into this world that you can't take care of properly?

All that was a rant, I know... and you may not even listen to this... and that's your call. But there's a reason everyone on this thread is against the idea of you having a child. You know how if you're in a group, and you think a certain thing is right, but everyone else in the group think that you're wrong... so you think, "psh, what do they know..." then you move on to a different group... and you ask again, then you do it again, and again... if you get about 3 - 4 different groups telling you that you're wrong... you might want to look into it.

I suggest you at least go talk to a planned parenthood counselor, and see what they can offer you.

Best wishes.

Ok let me put it in another point of view for you sweetie.. ur young,I'm 27 going on 28,in 2004 I was 6mouths pregnant and I lost my daughter at birth it was the most hardest thing I have ever been though in my life it destroyed me,I could not talk to no one,I could not eat for weeks,I had bad dreams of the labour,and I saw my daughter in a kidney bolw as if she was nothing the doctors seemed as if they did not care... I mean when I was going though this I was 23 going on 24 when this happened and it will stay with me for the rest of my life... your a child yourself I something like that was to happen to you how would you react? If a grown women feels like that how would you feel at your age,u have years and years ahead of u,yes you have worked with children and looked after kids of an younger age, but there is a difference in looking after them to bring a child in to the world and caring for them,it cost money, yes you may have a good income or you may have money put aside, but owning your house that's going to cost, food for yourself is going to cost then there is rent to be paid,clothes to put not only on your back but the baby's back,school fees,school uniform, it al adds up... Us women who are giving you advice are not asying it to be horrable we telling you what we know and have been though it ourselves.. They say the best years of life is your teens and trust us they r.. Someimes I wish I was back in school I would have done things a lot different.
If u think having a child is going to solve a problem then your very wrong it will only make matters worse.

Take our advice sweetie and wait there is no rush in to having a child,I would rather wait till I was older if I was you and enjoy seeing them grow in to adults, than to be a child and to regreat something later in life.