Then why have you posted here if you have no intention of trusting us to give you good advice and to encourage you to find a better way to do things? There are several excellent resources here on this site.

Not everyone lets you down. Maybe you have had too high of expectations of people. Maybe you expect too much and that is why you feel let down when they don't achieve what you expect.

Or maybe you think you let people down. Others have too-high expectations of you and you just can't deliver. You don't want to disappoint anyone.

I don't care if I disappoint people. My mom has told me I'm a disappointment multiple times. The only expectations I have of people are to be decent human beings. Not many of them where I live. They people here all seem to be alcoholics, sexual abusers, and physical abuse. I live in Spokane, WA. I used to live in Vista, Ca. The people there were so much better, nicer. So I just stopped trusting the people I meet. I came on here because I figure if I can't see you then maybe I can trust you. It may not make sense to you but it does to me.

So you have been shamed multiple times, been told you're a bad and unworthy person. You don't expect decency from anyone else because you don't believe it's within yourself.

In fact, you've put up that wall now, the "I-don't-care wall". As long as you don't care, you won't get hurt or be disappointed.

Yes

Does your therapist know this? Has he/she figured it out yet, or have you been too cagey?

Ok, here's the $64,000 question for you. You have you as a patient. You know everything about you. How would you advise your patient? Tell me two things you would recommend.

I would recommend getting a better shrink. The other I would recommend is to just avoid situations because I don't see them ever getting better.

Thank you for answering my question. Your answer is perfect!

So get a better shrink, one who is invested in your care and good health.

You can't "avoid situations." Amazingly, they WILL get better.

What situations are the most troublesome for you?

All of them. I can't even be around 1 person without passing out. Last time I passed out I was in Wood shop class working with a saw. Which was really dangerous. I had to have a partner and I freaked out. I had to go home cause I had hurt myself and they decided it was to dangerous for me to stay there. Hence why I don't go to school anymore. I'm home schooled.