My boyfriend who I have been with for 8months found out in January that his dad has terminal cancer.
I try to help him but feel like I make the sitution worse.I know he speaks to his best friend about it and I'm happy he is talking to someone just wish it was.
I haven't met any of his family and we recently found out we were pregnant and we lost it any suggestions please I'm at a lost end

It’s a very difficult time for anyone, losing a parent.
I’m sorry to hear of your loss too. I think all you can really do for him just now is to let him know you are there for him and perhaps just ask him occasionally if there is anything you can do. I hope he is managing to sipport you too a little with your loss.

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Originally Posted by smudge1912

my boyfriend who i have been with for 8months found out in january that his dad has terminal cancer.
i try to help him but feel like i make the sitution worse.i know he speaks to his best friend about it and im happy he is talking to someone just wish it was.
i havent met any of his family and we recently found out we were pregnant and we lost it any suggestions please im at a lost end

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I was widowed. I found that the most helpful people were those who LISTENED to me. I didn't need answers because there are no answers when your husband dies. I didn't need sympathy. I didn't need free advice. I didn't need to hear that things would get better.

I needed someone to just listen to my fears, my uncertainty, my concerns.

He was hospitalized for months at a time, I knew how hopeless his medical condition was. I still needed people just to listen.

Your boyfriend is facing a tragedy, he knows it, he can't stop it from happening. He undoubtedly feels helpless.

The best you can do is be there. Take your clue from him. There were people I simply couldn't talk to when I was widowed because for whatever reason talking to them caused me to break down. There were other people I could talk to. I have no idea what separated the two groups.

You just lost a child. You are grieving, too. Don't put all of your focus on what your boyfriend is going through. Be certain to take care of yourself. You have suffered a loss.

Hey sweetie, 2 years ago I was dealing with the same thing. I was married almost 3 years ago, but when me and my husband first got togethr he was still dealing with losing his father 2 years before we got married. I used to tell my husband I did not know what he was going through but I would be there if he needed me. He used to tell me I could never understand what he was going through and yes we used to argue about it. But then... July 15, 2009 I found out just how much he was really going through when I suddenly lost my mother... She was my best friend and I took care of her for many years and spent sleepless nights in the hospital with her.. Losing a parent is a very difficult thing to try and deal with.. In time he may realize that all you are trying to do is be there for him. Right now he has a lot of unanswered questions and anger because he cannot do anything to help his dad, and maybe he doesn't know how he is going to take it if something does in fact happen to his dad... All you can do is stay by his side and be strong for him when he can't be. Things will eventually ease up just sta strong and don't give up on him, he needs you more then he thinks.. Good luck :)