My Dad died on new years day , I want Him Back
Hi, this is the first time I've ever felt like this and needed words of comfort from a forum but here goes. My dad aged 59 died 2 days ago at 7am on new years day after going into hospital for what we thought was a liver infection. He had felt tired and looked slightly jaundice for about 2 months but refused to go doctors and had been working hard renovating a thatched cottage in Devon England with me and was adamant he would go doctors when it was finished anyway the last two weeks he found walking hard as it was affecting his chest so we finally got him to hospital that was the worst day of my life seeing him struggling for breath and after loads of blood tests doctors said he had a very serious chest infection so he went into intesive care, 2 hours later we were told that he had a type of blood cancer which had affected his imune system causing a chest infection within 2 hours I was sitting with him as he died. He was heavily sedated at the end but I kissed him and told him I loved him I just hope he heard. He was may dad and best friend all in one and I seen him and spent nearly everyday with him. I know its only 2 days but I feel I've had my heart ripped out and can't get my head round not seeing him ever again. I hope he's gone to a special place as he was unbelievably special to me and had had a terrible year of worry so didn't deserve this. Im male 34 with a partner who's been fantastic and 2 children my mum is here as is my brother 26 and sister 28 but we all feel so so bad. Me and my brother intend to finish his cottage for him as it was his dream to do so. I want him back and just wish I had got him to go doctors earlier. Will things get easier because thinking I have no dad for the next 40 odd years is the worst thing imaginable. Thanks if you took the time to read this and relpy.