I think everybody would.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell
|
I think everybody would.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell
Please let us all know Judy. This site is an amazing site and I know that everyone would like to be able to send something, if only just a card to express our sympathy.Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
I kept all the cards sent to me when my parents died. Even now, 9 years later, it brings me comfort to read them, to see how many people cared about them, and about me.
I agree Alty.. I think Marianne it would help you to know how we feel. I still grieve for my Dad. I cannot imagine and I mean this how horrible it would be if something happened to my husband.Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
Just noticed this thread. When my father died. He suffered a stroke and the doctors didn't know whether he would survive or not. It took three days before he died. I've always thought that worked out for the best. We had three days to become accustomed to the idea that he might not come back which seemed to make it easier to cope for us.
As everyone has stated we all grieve in different ways. I think I would probably deal with it more like you have. If I didn't have this online family to talk with if I didn't have people who needed help I could offer to occupy my mind, it would probably be much harder for me.
I do have an issue with going on holiday so soon. There is a danger that your children, especially the younger one, will associate death with a holiday. I just offer that perspective to consider as you will know your children better than I could.
I am going to simply say it and brace myself. I am troubled by this thread in many ways, not the least of which is on Positiveparents' site, the prayer card to Jesus Christ and the lengthy post mentioning God repeatedly, despite being Jewish.
It's one way or the other - either it's Jesus Christ and God or it's G_d.
As I said, I'm bracing myself but I have some serious questions on many levels. I hope I am wrong because I was widowed, it's more than a terrible thing, my life will never be the same and I don't want to doubt someone who is going through the same thing.
At any rate - here is the prayer card: https://sites.google.com/site/posparent/andrewRIP
If this is a scam or a lie or we are being taken, if one person is posting in more than one name, then shame on that person. If I am heartless and unsympathetic, then shame on me.
As I said, I've been there. I know very possibly better than anyone else what it is like to lose your life partner. I know everyone has experienced loss. To lose a partner is devastating beyond belief.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
You can talk to us if you want too. I feel sad for you , but there are some things I would like to know. Losing a child would be the worst thing that could happen to a parent and I'm sorry for the loss. I think the reason we have questions is we want to help or donate and you haven't let us know where we can do that. I think if there is something you need to talk about, Scott Gem would be willing to listen. You could even give him the name of a Charity and your husbands name. Just a thought. As he said people handle grief differently. I hope I'm wrong about how I feel. I really do.
There are so many inconsistencies in your story. What are we to believe?
OK Ill answer your questions although in truth I dont have to if I dont want to, however as I have nothing to hide I will.
1. The date, I wasnt sure at first if my S/O had died on 3rd or 4th because he died in the early hours, although I now know it was the 4th. I was confused and in shock, quite a natural phenomena Im told.
2. His name, yes He was named officially as Andre Stefan, which in English equates to Andrew Stephen. he was known as both or either. However mostly he was known as Andrew.
3. God, Being Jewish doesnt mean you dont accept God it means you havent recognised Christ as the messiah, My Husband did believe in God he also recognised Jesus, he was not an orthodox jew, and his parents like we too, only brought him up in the Jewish faith until his Bar Mitzvah, at age 13, our own Son Adrian, has just had his own Bar Mitzvah, and from hereon in he is free to choose his own way in life and his own beliefs if any. The religious card was given to us when Andrew Jnr died and so it was added to that page. Like I have mentioned we didnt disbelieve in Jesus. I am not Jewish in any way. If anything both my husband and I were more inclined to believe in the Tantra Spiritual Aspect of religion, if any religious leaning.
His funeral was conducted in the way it was because his official religion was down as being Jewish.
I apologise if Im not handling this in a way you are expecting me to, also for being slightly confused at first. I wasnt given an instruction manual so Im muddling through the best way I know how right now. Ill try to get it right though if only to suit those here. Also taking my Sons away on holiday will not have them associating Death with going on holiday, they are fully aware of whats going on. Too much so if anything.
I hope this satisfies your curiosity and answers your questions in a suitable manner.
Regards Marianne aka pp.
You are right PP, you don't have to explain anything. But the people here have been fooled once too many times. It's not that we doubt you, but some of the stories that have been told are heart wrenching. Thank you for answering the questions. Sorry to be so jaded, but if you stick around I am sure you will understand why sometimes, you can't take things at face value.
Is there a charity or a church we can make a donation to? I know a lot of us would like to do something for your loss.
I agree with bella .marianne. I haven't been here a year yet. I don't understand why we can't help you. Make a donation to the British Heart Association, as you did. I know when my Dad died we asked his friends to donate too his church or to the VFW. You were my friend and I just can't understand this at all. Everybody's different, but I wish you well. How old is your oldest son and is he helping you?Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurora_Bell
As for doing something, you all were, you were here, and that was more than enough in my mind, its also the thought that counts, none of you knew my husband, however I was appreciative of your kind words and thoughts.
My Cousin is out of town on holiday right now, shell be back at the end of the week I believe.
Forgive me for speaking my mind, Im now reluctant to give out any information, especially with my integrity being cast under suspicion.
My Husband is gone, Ive already told Scottgem that give me time to sort things out and Ill send him something to confirm what has happened, and he was quite OK with that, and I shall do as Ive said in time, or as soon as I am able to do so.
I am however reluctant to give out my families information to just anyone, Plus I do not go around making up stories, I get adequate attention Thank You, too much if I am honset.
So I now hope youll stop trying to find flaws in what Ive said about all of this, and let my Husband rest in peace, and for me to deal with all of this in my own way, I thank you for your support and condolences.
However if youre trying to discredit me in this, then expect me to retalliate in a like manner, because I wont sit by and have my family or myself disrespected, or put any risk to our privacy or safety.
Reading these posts here has upset me even more, Thanks...
If you dont believe me then dont, thats your choice, but I personally would rather not read about that on these boards, you can PM me if you want to cast aspersions.
Youre all heart I must say...
This puts me in the mind of a pack of wolves ripping their prey to shreds. Thanks.
I hope others who come here see this then theyll know exactly whats what and what to expect. Youve no right to sit in judgement over me or anyone else.
I understand your defensiveness PP, and maybe we were out of place, if this is true I apologize, but please, understand, after some of the things the people here have been through, it's not easy to believe, especially when there are so many inconsistencies. You don't have to prove anything to us, and you're right, at first glance it would seem we were wolves, but when things don't add up, it's hard to push past that nagging feeling of "what if"... again, I am sorry to doubt you. Very sorry, but I just don't know what to think.
Quote:
Originally Posted by positiveparent
As I said earlier, if this is the truth, then shame on me. If it's not, then shame on you.
As far as you retaliating - I specifically (and I do not speak for anyone else) do not take kindly to threats and think it's a very bad way for you to approach this situation. There is no descrediting here - it is a matter of finding the truth.
I'm sure that the truth, whatever it is, will come out in time.
This certainly would have been easier to understand if, when I couldn't understand the Jewish burial, someone had explained that this was not strictly a Jewish burial. I couldn't understand having a body which was not embalmed brought back to house .following the autopsy. In fact, I still don't - but I'm not in the UK.
As far as the date of death - I don't know if there are other widows posting. I can tell you to the second when my husband died and, yes, it was close to Midnight. You ask and it keeps running through your mind. Sometimes I find my eyes on the clock on Tuesday nights at that time.
No one here is sitting in judgment. Whatever the situation is, it remains tragic.
Ok, I'm going to nip this in the bud. Since you mentioned it here I will briefly describe our correspondence. I told Marianne about a specific incident a year or more ago where we were played by another member who preyed on our good will and sympathies. That hasn't been the only time that people have posted trumped up stories only to find out it was a hoax.
So, this has made us all skeptical, including me. Adding to this, in PP's case, she has stepped on some toes and made some faux pas that have contributed to the suspicions many people have. And there are many people who are skeptical.
But I have explained this to Marianne and she has been gracious in understanding why we are skeptical and has promised to provide me with proof. I will verify what she provides and I will state whether I have found what she provides sufficient or not without revealing the nature of the proof. I think you all will trust my word on that.
Given the circumstances, I'm willing to give Marianne some time to provide such proof. While I would be the first to state that she has made more than a few mistakes here, on the whole I think her contribution to this site has given her the right to be given some level of consideration. So I am going to cut off any further discussion on the veracity of what she has posted until such time as I decide that I have had enough.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Had to spread the rep, but great post Judy.
Ive explained the so say inconsistencies on previous page.
HAVE A LOOK.
I am not using two user names.
There are various Jewish sects not all are orthodox.
See above from scottgem.
see previous page for explanations of anything else.
I wonder will I get personal apologies in time for this I doubt it, and if anything I say isnt to anyones liking, then thats not my problem.
Not that a thousand apologies could make me feel any better about this.
My cousin will be back at end of week, contact her if you want.
Maybe this should be closed until the Mods are satisfied that everything is as it should be or as it has been explained.
I realize that the websites have now been changed for whatever reason.
At any rate - enough nitpicking. Time to close?
I just want to say one thing, than I'll not post again until Scott does.
Marianne, we've all been fooled before, that's the disturbing aspect of the internet, people do lie, people do pretend to be something they're not. It would be foolish of anyone to take what people on the internet say at face value.
We've all been burned before, too many times. People that we trusted, let into our lives, only to find out that everything they told us was lies. I guess it's made us all jaded. That's our way to protect ourselves from allowing it to happen again. It's the sad truth. I wish I could be more trusting, but experience has taught me not to be.
I understand that being on your end of the mistrust and questions isn't ideal, but please, try to understand where we're coming from. None of us are mean people, we're all just people, people that have been burned and now tend to stay away from the flames. I know I'd be upset if an event in my life was questioned, but, I'd understand. This is the internet.
How many times do we advise young girls that come here to ask about a guy they met on the internet, to be weary, to be careful, not to trust? The same goes here.
Many of us are friends, but it's taken years to get to that point, to trust each other. You're still fairly new, and like Scott said, you had a very rocky start here. That rocky start, although in the past, isn't entirely forgotten and weighs heavily on a lot of people's minds. This is a bump in the road, and when it all gets resolved, I'm hoping we can move forward.
I'm hoping you can understand where we're coming from. I do understand you're upset, but that's really not our intention. There are simply questions, and it's not because it's you that we're asking them. We all have a hard time trusting people we really don't know.
I hope you can understand that and I wish you all the best.
I would ask that this thread not be closed Please, as I would like it left open so that once my cousin is back she can read it and post any thing she may wish to say about it. Thank You
I would like to apologize for questioning you.
You see, several years ago I became quite close to a gal on this site. One dark and stormy night her and her 5 year old daughter were in their car and were instantly killed in a horrific one-car accident. Those of us who were here at the time grieved heavily for this girl and her child. We were taking up money and trying to send flowers only to find out, a week later, that it was all a hoax and both mother and child were indeed fine.
Not long after that was the story that Scott PM'd you about. Again, I had become close friends with that person, again to find out it was a hoax.
Many of us here become fast friends. When we are hit with stories that I have shared with you, we hurt too. Then come to find out that we have been played a fool.
Unfortunately, because not only these two incidences, but others as well, we have learned to put up our guards and begin to question what may be, in your case, the truth.
I'm sure I speak for most everyone here in saying that we are genuinely sorry for questioning you. However, you can see, from the story above as well as the one Scott sent you, why we become skeptical when situations like these occur.
Exactly.Quote:
I'm sure I speak for most everyone here in saying that we are genuinely sorry for questioning you. However, you can see, from the story above as well as the one Scott sent you, why we become skeptical when situations like these occur.
PP, try to put yourself in our shoes. I know it's not easy, and I know that it's asking a lot, but truly, we don't mean to hurt you, we mean to protect ourselves.
As harsh as that may seem, it's the nature of the internet. Trust is not something that is easily obtained on the net, especially once you've given it to someone that abused that trust. After that everyone is suspect. I wish it weren't so, but it is.
I know that our words aren't making you feel better, you still feel judged, and that's understandable. I know I would be upset if I posted something and my words weren't believed. But, having been here for a few years, I would understand that trust is not something a lot of people can give to people they don't really know. I would understand. I hope you can.
I would also like to say that I do understand where you are coming from. When my father passed I took solace in AMHD. It was where I could hide from my grief and where there was a bit of normalcy in my life... however abnormal some of the questions are, LOL.
So I do understand why you are here answering questions in your time of grief.
I think I can say something that may help you, Marianne. Let me put it to you this way. If we didn't care about you, if we didn't want to be there for you, if we didn't want to have you belong in our little community we wouldn't even be bothering. We are saying these things to you because we do want to care and we don want to be there for you and we do want you to be a part of us. We just have to be cautious about it, we done that before and been hurt by it, so its become harder for us to give unquestioningly. But, if we didn't care we would have wrote you off long ago.
I want to say something, but I honestly have no words! And that's an occurrence that is few and far between! I am sorry for this PP, I really, really am. I hope you understand.
Ive again read through this thread and the posts within it, and I would like to say Im sorry if I reacted negatively to some of the posts here.
I do understand why you would be sceptical and I shall very shortly supply scottgem with something to verify my claim, it will be something on official paper of an official standing.
I thank those of you who have supplied myself with explanations of why you would be wary of taking everything at face value and I guess my confusion with the date and putting the names differently could give rise to some doubts perhaps, I don't wish to be unreasonable and indeed when scottgem originally PMd me about this I didn't hesitate to say I would be happy to comply with his request, which I will carry through as already stated above.
At this time Im still really quite confused and somewhat maybe in denial or disbelief, its very hard to take in and even harder to accept that Ill never see the man I had worshipped and adored since the first day I ever set eyes on him has gone forever, we were inseparable we lived our lives around and for one another, perhaps that wasn't such a good idea thinking about it now, but that's what we did, we didn't want it any other way.
Im totally unsure of how Im going to get used to the idea and I really dread the future, where once I had a rock of a Man to protect me and my sons there's no one just a huge void a gaping great hole, and I just don't have a clue where to turn, what to do, or how Im going to cope alone, silly little things like how to reset the burglar alarm are terrifying me.
Ive never felt so helpless or vulnerable in my entire life, and even I thought I was tough until this.
However this is to let you know I do understand I do see your points of view, and I will supply something to scottgem, all I ask is please allow me time to do this, it won't be long it'll be within say 21 days Max, but it will be done.
Thank You Again
Marianne & Sons Stephen and Adrian.
Marianne, I have edited your font as it is hard for some people to read. Please use the default font from here forward.
To further what I was saying...
Our curiosity was picqued when his name went from Alex to Andrew to Andre. Then, to top it off, you posted his handsome picture, but then deleted it when we questioned the picture.
When my father died I posted his picture, but did not delete it. We all just wondered why you deleted the pic Marianne.
J_9
Ive no idea where the Alex came from but Ive never ever referred to anyone by the name of Alex, you can go check any post Ive ever put on here, and you won't find any mention of any Alex from myself. I also rarely shortened my Husbands name so if he had been named Alex I would have referred to him as Alexander which would be the full version of that name.
Andrew yes and Andre because they're one and the same, ones English the others not, and I have already mentioned in a post a few pages back, it also states the same on the other thread condolences that my Husbands birth names were Andre Stefan and in English they equate to Andrew Stephen, however the names Andre and Andrew are basically the same name, his mother always called him Andre Stefan I almost always called him Andrew he had friends who called him Andy so does that mean something is false, they're all variations of the one name no more no less.
I withdrew the photo because I was never happy with him being classed as a model yes he had done some modelling, but that photo was not from that time, it was taken in approx 2003 as you may have noticed his expression is hardly that of a model he looks slightly pee`d off, if anything because he was running late but had to wait for the lift, making him impatient, however its one of my fave photos of him, it was taken by a member of his staff at the time, if it were a modelling photo Im sure the quality would have been much superior and more clear for a start.
I just felt ill at ease, because I know how fanatical he was about his photos being posted online or his identity being made known, he was very much a private individual. Only a select few ever got to know much about him I would say only one of those was an online contact, that being my cousin.
I also believe the attire he had on was actually from saville row not dolce&gabana, high quality yes but designer label no. I shall repost the photo on the other thread not this one though because its open.
Again I hope what's here clears this matter up for those who felt it required an explanation.
pp
PP has been banned from AMHD. She did send me an official document as evidence of her story. That document proved to be an amateur forgery. Several facts on that document were unverifiable and others were proven false. We will not be played in this manner. For that reason she has been banned.
I'm sure this comes as no surprise to some of you and a shock to others. I have to say that PP was given every opportunity to prove she could be a valued member of this site. She did make a significant contribution while she was here. But that is way overshadowed by her playing on our sympathies and emotions with a phony story.
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:00 PM. |