Sweetie, he controls you. You've said so yourself. The reaction to the baby is not acceptable, nor is it a "little thing."

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you weigh offenses, all you get are worn out scales that can't tell the truth even if they wanted to.

When you start comparing things; for example, "well, he did do this, but it's definitely not as bad as that," you lose touch with reality. You're comparing your boyfriend's actions to the horrible examples of what a man should be from your past.

Controlling you, reacting the way he did with the baby, expecting you to cowtow to his wishes, those are not acceptable. You deserve equality in a relationship just like anyone else, no matter what happened in your past.

You're still a precious, unique creation that was made to shine. Not be broken down in servitude.

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Originally Posted by HistorianChick

Sweetie, he controls you. You've said so yourself. The reaction to the baby is not acceptable, nor is it a "little thing."

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you weigh offenses, all you get are worn out scales that can't tell the truth even if they wanted to.

When you start comparing things; for example, "well, he did do this, but it's definitely not as bad as that," you lose touch with reality. You're comparing your boyfriend's actions to the horrible examples of what a man should be from your past.

Controlling you, reacting the way he did with the baby, expecting you to cowtow to his wishes, those are not acceptable. You deserve equality in a relationship just like anyone else, no matter what happened in your past.

You're still a precious, unique creation that was made to shine. Not be broken down in servitude.

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Thanks Chicky, I guess you are right.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I honestly see nothing wrong in what he does.

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It sounds to me like he has put you into a role like your mother has been put into by your father. The dynamic is the same.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It sounds to me like he has put you into a role like your mother has been put into by your father. The dynamic is the same.

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And so the cycle continues until I put a stop to it.

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

And so the cycle continues until I put a stop to it.

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Exactly.

I've noticed something, every post of mine somehow comes back to my past

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I've noticed something, every post of mine somehow comes back to my past

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Because that's what you're acting out. We all do it in one way or another - it's our way of understanding our past and moving through it to something better.

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Originally Posted by Gemini54

Because that's what you're acting out. We all do it in one way or another - it's our way of understanding our past and moving through it to something better.

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Good point

I began talking to my new therapist about this.

It's done wonders. Being able to tell someone. Then told, face to face: It's all right. You made a mistake but it's in the past. (and other such things)

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

I began talking to my new therapist about this.

It's done wonders. Being able to tell someone. then told, face to face: It's alright. you made a mistake but it's in the past. (and other such things)

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The very fact that you said it out loud to someone is a good part of the healing. Have you forgiven yourself yet?

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

The very fact that you said it out loud to someone is a good part of the healing. Have you forgiven yourself yet?

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Yes WG, I believe I have

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Yes WG, I believe I have

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Good! Now, are you interested in working hard here to become an Expert, to help other young women with similar problems?

Yes WG, but in what would I be an expert?

But being an expert here would be an honor

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Originally Posted by xXxEmOxXxPrInCeSsxXx

Yes WG, but in what would I be an expert?

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We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Anyone who writes (and thinks) as sensibly and as cogently as you do is definitely a keeper!

Glad to be in the keeper bucket for dinner and not thrown back!

"lame" fishing metaphor.