Someone once said to me "you will never get over this but you will learn to live with it" that brought me great comfort because I wasn't waiting for the pain to go away I was waiting for it to subside a little so I could get up day after day, I send you all my love redhead I'm so sorry for your tragic loss take care!

hi red.. I am so sorry to hear about your lost. As a mother myself I can't even imagine what you and your family are going through.. it must be a living hell for you and your family. I hope that you can find the strength in your family and rely on each other when times are unbarable... you do have the strength inside you to be strong I no it might not feel that way just at this moment in time.. hand in there they say that time is a great healer.. but how can a mother get over somethink as sad as what your going through.. my heart gose out to you love... I think you should remember all the times you had with your little girl as they were so presious that might help you cope a little.. you might hold your children's hands for a little while but you will hold her heart forever and no one can ever take that away from you.. keep your chin up and try to keep smiling... you will always have your memories of your little one try and find comfort in them.. life is not about the breaths you take it about the moment that take it away... I wish you and your family well and once again I am so sorry for your loss x x x mjx

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Originally Posted by mjandjc

.. but how can a mother get over somethink as sad as what your going through.. my heart gose out to you love... I think you should remember all the times you had with

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You do get over it and the OP will get over this or else you would go insane.

The OP's heart will heal - life will never be the same but it will be good again.

This I can promise.

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
lighterrr disagrees: Not. Everyone is the same and people heal at different rates some hurts in this life you just dont get over it, as time goes on you may be able to cope but the pain is still the same.[/QUOTE]


I assume two things - one, this is a revenge reddie because you posted that sperm live on in the womb (not the fallopian tubes, which is the case) and I corrected you. In fact, it's the second revenge reddie you've given me. Enough already.

Two, you have lost a child, as I have. Your advice in my experience is simply not correct. As I said, you DO get over it. You are simply never the same.

Hopefully others who have lost a child will join in with their experience.

How old was your child when he/she died? Age often makes a difference, too.

I lost my daughter in Nov(08),, she was with us for a brief of 5 n half months only... but when she was here,, she won not just our heart, but of all those who saw her,, even a stranger lady from the temple,, there was always a smile on her face,, she smiled at strangers, she smiled while I gave her a bath, she smiled even after getting an injection,,
She was my 1st child, first grandchild to my parents and also my in-laws. 7 of us were pregnant around the same time,, when I see them with their baby, it hurts me a lot,, I am finding it hard to get over her loss,,
M doing what 88sunflower said,, keeping her memory alive,,
We decided to plant a jack-fruit sapling where we buried her (our garden),, jack-fruit because I had cravings fro that fruit when I was pregnant with her,, May 16, 09 marks her 1st b'day and this is the day we'l be planting the sapling.
There is no way of getting over her but it is possible to make it a sweet memory.

PVRao,I'm sorry for your loss.planting a tree is a good idea. My parents planted an apple blossom tree in their garden,when I see how much it has already grown,I wonder what my daughter would look like now,how big she would be.
Judykaytee,is right,you do heal,otherwise you would go insane,you learn to live with the loss,you pick up your life and live it.

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Originally Posted by redhed35

my daughter died 18 months ago, she was 4 years old..
she had cystic fibrosis.

i was wondering if anyone out there was dealing with the overwhelming feelings of grief and how they are coping.

regards, redhed35.

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We had a son who died 36 years ago and there is not a day that goes by when it is not on our mind. We have learned that that is the case with a lot of people who really wanted the child but lost . Very few people including nurses or doctors have the insight to know how to respond to people who experience this. The wisest thing may be for people to listen and say very little or nothing. It may help if there is another child; or to have another child.

Thank you for sharing your post erslbrly.
I was wondering if still after 36 years you look at people at the age your son would have been.
I have my niece today,there was only 6 months between her and my daughter,she is so full of life and chat,she's a pleasure to have around,but it sears me at the same time.
I was watching her and my 8 year old making daisy chains.
I miss her today.

I have posted before about keeping a journal of thoughts and memories of loved ones who have died.
I was reading over some of my own thoughts,and found this slip of paper tucked into the back,I don't remember writing it,those first few months go by in a haze,she has been dead two years now,and I can smile thinking about her..

This is what I wrote..

As I sat beside her,my eyes trying to memorise her face,her body,I kept glancing at the clock,God would show up,I would get my miracle.
I had begged,pleaded and prayed,and I knew,with that knowing that comes in your gut,I would get my miracle,he would show up.

On the other side of dublin an other mother kept vigil beside her child,waiting for her miracle,waiting for God to show up.
We had never met,nor do I think we will ever meet,I don't know her name,nor she mine,but we were about to be forever connected.
At 10.15pm, on the 5th of September my little girl died peacefully and painfree,I held her close and kissed her face and God held my heart together so it would not shatter,he had come,four hours later on the other side of dublin another mother wept for her child,a new heart beating strongly in a tiny chest,god had come,we had both received our miracles.

This post is not about God,but about keeping a record of thoughts and memories...

I know this post is old,
I lost a baby when I was 22. It was the worst pain I have ever endured. I still cry for her, almost every day. I am lucky to have a beautiful 2 year old little girl, who never ceases to remind me how lucky I am and how short life really is. I personally don't know of there is a proper way to cope, all I know is that it has only been 3 years for me, and I still feel like it happened last week. I have had docotr's tell me I had more then enugh time to grieve, and it was time to get on with life. But I have had wonderful friends and family members and also other doctor's tell me that there is no time limit to grief.

Sorry to hear about your daughter .Kids make your world Im glad you got to spend the time she had with her.You are a very strong person and I'm sure you daughter is proud of what you are doing to help me and others on this site .I will take your advice to heart and thanks again.Your daughter will be in my prayers stay strong.