Hi Matt
It's six months on from your posting and 18 months on from her death and I don't know if you're still looking at this but it is really important how you deal with her death. We all have different experiences and in my case it was all swept under the table. People didn't want to mention my loss so it got buried. I've paid the price for that over the past 30 -plus years. I was 12 when my mum died and I didn't even get to see her body or go to her funeral. But for many people the death of a parent at that sort of age creates post stress disorder. Loss or other triggers bring back the old feelings that were felt at the time. The answer is to talk your feelings through. Don't bottle them up. It's best if you can find a councillor or trained listener or a sympathetic friend. It is a terrible thing to lose your mum and you are OK to feel bad about it. But life can be OK again - though always different.
Mark