Hi my name is Queenstar, and I'm a 21 year old Ghanaian female and I'm always dressed properly and I'm also very respectful but if there's something I noticed, it's that guys never approach me or ask me out and its something I don't understand. Is it because they don't feel attracted to me like they do to the blacks, hispanics, and white females? I mean guys always approach and flirt with my female friends, classmates, and relatives. And sometimes it's guys I have a crush on. I don't mean to sound jealous or anything. I mean at age 21 people would have expected me to start dating by now. Every time I see guys I like and I approach them, they say eww get away from me then they shove me away and call me a pest. It's as if they prefer my female friends and classmate to me and I never did anything to anyone. Whenever I go out I see lots of girls/women being checked out by guys and being called sexy and all that. And when I walk by, they grow disgusted and say they would never date me and If they were to rate me they would give me a 4 out of 10. I'm not that desperate to be imitating the other girls that behave like whores and I'm not showing off my body either. I really don't want to be a turn off to guys. What do you think could be wrong?

I don't know you at all. You have known yourself for 21 years. What do think might be going on?

It sounds like you're hanging out with a very immature group of people. I would not expect this kind of behavior from adults, and at 21, you're all adults.

Still sounds like you are hanging around high school guys,

And rating you 4 out of 10, adults don't do this.

I am sorry, it sounds like you are 15, not 21.

But you go out and meet more professional men, who wishes you to look and dress better,
If you want losers like you talk about here, dress and talk like a whore and they will have more interest

Your other post you are being bulled by women. You say guys do tell you they would never date you and they go as far as to este you. Talk to one of these guys that you feel you would be nost comfortable with and tell him you really need some constructive criticism on what males people go ewwww. Then. Get back to us with what he or they say and we can better help you.

I approach them, they say eww get away from me then they shove me away and call me a pest.

Are you certain that these are 21 year olds? I do know of 12 year olds that might act like that, but not many 21 year olds.

Just curious about one remark you made: you are from Ghana but are not black, hispanic, or white? And where do you live now? And if guys are attracted to your relatives as you say, aren't they your race too, and so what would race have to do with this?
To be very blunt, we don't know what you look like nor how you approach other people, both men and women. Plenty of people who aren't considered mainstream good looking do just fine by being friendly. Maybe your approach is awkward and uncomfortable? Maybe you try too hard? The easiest way to be friendly is to
a) say something nice about someone to their face
b) ask them about themselves
It bothers me that you are getting 'rated' when that shouldn't even come up, unless you are asking guys if they would date you.

OP said about girlls at school bullying her. Came back and put this up. I don't think she even bothered to reply to the other post when she came back to do this one

For what it is worth, she appears to be posting from New York, my only thought may be some Jr College in one of the inner city areas.

Figures. I hope she tales ALL the advice we gave her

"Everytime I see guys I like and I approach them, they say eww get away from me then they shove me away and call me a pest.

Are you a pest?

I don't know you at all. You have known yourself for 21 years. What do think might be going on?

I don't know but I'm 21 and I'm getting older. Why are they doing this to me? Why are they shoving me away and going after my female friends and classmates instead? Or is it because they have something against me?

I don't know but i'm 21 and i'm getting older. Why are they doing this to me? Why are they shoving me away and going after my female friends and classmates instead? Or is it because they have something against me?
When did this start?

If you can't figure it out, you're going o have to ask a relative or good friend.

still sounds like you are hanging around high school guys,

and rating you 4 out of 10, adults don't do this.

I am sorry, it sounds like you are 15, not 21.

but you go out and meet more professional men, who wishes you to look and dress better,
if you want losers like you talk about here, dress and talk like a whore and they will have more interest

It's not what you think, I'm really 21 and I really want to know why guys won't approach me. And you want to know something? I live with my ghanaian family and my parents don't allow me to date. As a matter of fact, they don't allow me to do anything and sometimes they abuse me for no reason at all. If my parents saw me dressed like a whore, they would insult me and threaten me to go home and dress properly. I honestly dislike them for that reason. I don't want to dress like a whore because I'm used to having my mom and dad dress me up badly like an old woman.

i'm used to having my mom and dad dress me up badly like an old woman.
Maybe that's a clue. What do you wear?

"Everytime I see guys I like and I approach them, they say eww get away from me then they shove me away and call me a pest.

Are you a pest?

No, I'm not a pest I'm just trying to approach them. And when they called me a pest, I realized they don't like me so I rolled my eyes and said whatever you to them.

Maybe that's a clue. What do you wear?

I usually wear jeans with a blouse and jeans jacket and a pair of jordans. I don't have any brand name clothing or really nice looking clothes. Because my parents don't want to provide for me for some strange reason :(

Maybe you need a make over. You don't have to dress like a slut to look like a modern college student in America. That may help you fit in and not stand out as a target for bullies.

That's what I told her on the other post that the girls at the University that I work at gave the one girl a really really easy make over.

I usually wear jeans with a blouse and jeans jacket and a pair of jordans. I don't have any brand name clothing or really nice looking clothes. Because my parents don't want to provide for me for some strange reason :(


I'm used to having my mom and dad dress me up badly like an old woman.

Wha??

When did this start?

If you can't figure it out, you're going o have to ask a relative or good friend.

It started when I was in middle school. The guys I liked began eyeing my classmates and female friends and they began expecting me to stand in the same room and watch them kiss in front of me.

Maybe you need a make over. You don't have to dress like a slut to look like a modern college student in America. That may help you fit in and not stand out as a target for bullies.

But I live with my ghanaian parents and they don't allow me to wear make up or dress attractive. Last time when I saw a brown face powder on my dresser, I picked it up and used it on my face and when my mother and father saw me, they somehow realized I was wearing make up and they began screaming on me and saying that's all I think about is wearing make up and lip gloss and when in reality I never wear make up. It shows me how much of miserable parents they really are.

Wha?????????????

Sadly, its true :(

You have NO one that you feel you can talk to that might be willing to tell you why they treat you this way? Try and think of ONE person male or female that seems like they might like you a little bit but maybe just following the crowd and tell them you want an honest answer and you don't care how bad it sounds. If we had an idea of what goes on in their head we could probably help a lot more.

Thats what I told her on the other post that the girls at the University that I work at gave the one girl a really really easy make over.

I really would love to get a makeover and look pretty but I can't because my parents won't allow me. :(

There are things you can do without make up. There are products that can make the natural glow of your own skin come out.

You describe yourself as exotic looking. What do you mean by that? Unusual hair style? Odd tattoos? Unusual piercings? You wear some kind of head covering? A facial deformity? A missing or unusual body part? Is there something that might put people off when they look at you? (I'm really reaching here, but do not understand the ewwwwws.)

I dated a guy in college. His left index finger was missing because of an accident. He played the piano like nobody's business and was a sweet guy, but girls wouldn't go out with him because they were put off by his missing finger.

Exotic looking and then describes how plain she is? I'm getting more lost here

You have NO one that you feel you can talk to that might be willing to tell you why they treat you this way? Try and think of ONE person male or female that seems like they might like you a little bit but maybe just following the crowd and tell them you want an honest answer and you don't care how bad it sounds. If we had an idea of what goes on in their head we could probably help a lot more.

Ok I'll try to message some of guy friends on Facebook to see why they think I'm not being approached and rather shoved away.

exotic looking and then describes how plain she is? I'm getting more lost here

Don't foget that it's hard to understand why guy's never approach attractive girls but rather unattractive ones.

There are things you can do without make up. There are products that can make the natural glow of your own skin come out.

Like what kind of products? Please tell me more!

Guys never approach attractive girls? Goodness, that is just not true.

I have a feeling that your parents brought you up with some attitudes and behaviors that just aren't going over well, especially in the US. This is more common than you might think! But we are shooting in the dark here, guessing and guessing at everything.

Guys never approach attractive girls? Goodness, that is just not true.

I have a feeling that your parents brought you up with some attitudes and behaviors that just aren't going over well, especially in the US. This is more common than you might think! But we are shooting in the dark here, guessing and guessing at everything.

But you see its true, Sometimes, you'll be perfect, and guys still won't approach.
You wonder why, and spend time & effort on it.
But some chicks just have "it" and some chicks don't.
Don't ask me what that "it" is... I have seen unattractive girls popular with the guys, and pretty ones ignored..

There's no such thing as perfect.
I think you do have a fundamental problem with how you view the world and people, both men and women. It really does sound like you think that if you 'do' everything just right, there's no reason not to be liked. Dress, looks, hair, face, clothes, all that counts for first impressions to some extent, but has nothing to do with personality. And yes, that's the 'it' all people either have or don't, personality. We all have different ones, and we all are attracted to different ones. There's no 'it' that comes in a box with instructions.

The fundamentals of a good personality are friendliness and a genuine interest in other people. Perhaps you 'present' yourself to people as well dressed and respectful as you said, when your object shouldn't be to impress people at all - it's to be interested in them, in a nice and friendly way. Slowly at first, with hellos as you pass by, and later some compliments and nice day we are having, and so on, until you establish 'something' between you that can evolve.

Oil of Olay, Avons Skin So Soft, Aloe vera, use glycerin soap like Pear's. Look up exfoliating your skin for different ideas. Lemons will even help your skin.

So, there is at least one guy who asked you out, right?

What do your parents think of your pregnancy?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/children/do-you-like-name-queenstar-761173.html

You're pregnant and you want to know if we think that the name Queenstar (which you stated is your name) is a good name for your baby girl, but no guy will come near you, they all push you away? How does that work?

Are you interested in a bridge? I have one for sale in London. Don't believe me? Well... ditto.