Hi all,
Like many I am currently going through divorce.Sadly as a lot of people find this means that your support / friends disappear so really just looking for people that are going through the same in order to support each other

Sadly, some of the friends disappear. I think it is because they honestly do not know what to say or do. When I separated, I found many of my married female friends just were no longer available. Perhaps it made them uncomfortable, to be in my company. Yet when I was married, they non stop yakked about every part of their life.

There is a very good support group, in many areas, called "Beginning Experiences" - it is for people going through a separation and divorce and post divorce. So you are going to find people who have been in your shoes.

There are some good resources out there for the person going through a divorce - check out the web. I found a book called, "A Well-Tended Soul" by Valerie Bell. There is a site on inner bonding: Inner Bonding: Relationship Advice, Relationship Help, Spiritual Growth, Parenting Advice (http://www.innerbonding.com/index.lasso)

Also read through some of the posts on relationships. Check this out: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search.php?searchid=1179623

You are not alone and what you are going through - you will survive it and you will be stronger and wiser. It just does not seem like it in the beginning. Best of all to you.

First, this is a journey and you aren't nearly where you will end up. I lost all my local friends in my divorce, and given that I live 400 miles away from my family and close friends from my single days, it has unquestionably been difficult.

I would recommend that you reach out to your friends as a last ditch effort before you write them off completely. They probably don't know what to say or how to help, so haven't been able to bring themselves to contact you. Just be honest and say, "hey, I know this is awkward for you but I'm only divorcing one person and it's not you. Let's get together". Keep in mind your friends may not be ready to be your sounding board, especially if they feel some friendship for your ex. So, let them off the hook - suggest a movie or a game of golf or cards instead of a gut-spilling, tear-filled cup of coffee. I found I needed a therapist I could talk to, but friends to go out and think about something else.

See if your church has a singles group - you would be surprised how many other divorce people are going through the same thing. Or get into a group of runners or walkers, or whatever. Misery does truly love company.

And if you have nobody to hang out with now, still do what you enjoy. Try some new things. When I got divorced I learned I had a talent for painting - I had never tried before. I got involved volunteering at church, and with my son's soccer league. It still was rough, but it gets better. A lot of people remarry and have a much better experience the second time around, and others find that their lives expand in positive ways they never imagined and they really become so attached to being single, much to their own surprise, they don't even want to remarry after a while.

Hang in there!