View Full Version : Why aren't we having sex?
xtina7685
Nov 29, 2012, 11:07 PM
Okay so me and my fiancé have been together about 5yrs now. We have a 2yr old and will be getting married in February but here in the last year or so our sex life has been going down hill! I've talked about it with him and his response is we just don't have time. I can see that as we both work full time and have a very active 2yr(i.e dance gymnastics soccer) but even when we do have time(my inlaws keep our child Saturday nights) he still isn't in the mood or is tired or has to be up early it feels like there's always something. We do have oral sex about once a week or everyother but it just isn't satisfing me the way it used to.we haven't had sex in over 3months now! When we got together yes we were like rabbits even when I was pregnant and after we had our child we still had sex a good bit but for some reason we just arnt anymore. No he's not gay or is he cheating on me.I haven't gained and massive weight I'm 5'6 and 115 he's 6'2. Im 25 and he's 33. I've talked to him several times about it and it doesn't seen to be helping. Everything else in our relationship ship is great he's a great man great dad and we can seriously talk to each other about anything but I'm a very sexual person I wear it on my sleeve so to say I've never had this problem in a relationship before so if something doesn't change and soon I don't know what I'm going to do! Help please!!
Wondergirl
Nov 29, 2012, 11:12 PM
Give the poor guy a break! The honeymoon is over, you have a very busy young child, both of you work, and you have one date night a week (to catch up on your sleep!). I got exhausted and had no interest in sex just from reading your post! I can only imagine how he feels.
What do you do on your date night?
xtina7685
Nov 29, 2012, 11:50 PM
Give the poor guy a break! The honeymoon is over, you have a very busy young child, both of you work, and you have one date night a week (to catch up on your sleep!). I got exhausted and had no interest in sex just from reading your post! I can only imagine how he feels.
What do you do on your date night?
We try to mix it up. We go to movies, dinner, sometimes group date, others ill go out with my friend's, hell go out with his, and sometimes we just stay in and watch a movie. It just depends on what we want to do. And I understand he is tired as I am too. But should that mean we stop having sex and intimate time for us?
Wondergirl
Nov 29, 2012, 11:56 PM
Well, most couples fizzle out when they are as busy as you guys are. Why not just go with what they call sensate focus -- cuddling, stroking, hugging, snuggling, etc. when watching TV or at odd times of day, just to let each other know you are still in love. Having an active two-year-old all by itself can upset the sexual applecart. And what happens when Baby #2 comes along?
How about a weekend away every fifth weekend or on some "schedule" like that? Not to go hiking and biking and playing tennis, but just to laze around the pool and sleep and eat and have sex. Is there a reliable sitter for a weekend?
xtina7685
Nov 30, 2012, 12:15 AM
Well, most couples fizzle out when they are as busy as you guys are. Why not just go with what they call sensate focus -- cuddling, stroking, hugging, snuggling, etc. when watching tv or at odd times of day, just to let each other know you are still in love. Having an active two-year-old all by itself can upset the sexual applecart. And what happens when Baby #2 comes along?
How about a weekend away every fifth weekend or on some "schedule" like that? Not to go hiking and biking and playing tennis, but just to laze around the pool and sleep and eat and have sex. Is there a reliable sitter for a weekend?
I will defendantly try more of the "senate focus" I think everyone could use more.:-) we just went to west palm beach for a week in August but even then we had our daughter so we didn't really have alone time maybe a few days away every once in a while with no responsibility will do some good. We have 4 sets of grandparents there's always a sitter:-)
Wondergirl
Nov 30, 2012, 12:20 AM
Be sure to send me a postcard! (And leave your cell phones at home.)