Okay, so this is going to be a long post.
So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a while now and I really love him (just throwing that out there). One of his exs had said that she was pregnant with his child, but it turned out that she had been sleeping with eight other guys, yes eight. (They dated for about five years.) They argued on and off while she was pregnant. She told him about two months before her due date that she was giving up the baby for adoption since no one would take responsibility. Well she called him yesterday and said that she kept the baby and that he was his son. She is going over there the day after tomorrow to talk about the baby and to 'hang out'. I wouldn't be worried except that a few weeks back I had been sick with symptoms that resembled pregnancy symptoms and so we had started talking about starting a family and we agreed that we both wanted kids. By the way, I was not. So today I asked him what he would do if the baby was his and he said that if it was his son he would take care of him. But then I don't know why but I asked if he wanted the baby to be his and he said that it didn't matter, that if the baby was his then he would take care of him. We were talking about how some guys get back with their ex for the good of the child and he said he didn't know if he would or not. I was really hurt because it seemed like to me that he was basically saying that he might leave me. He also said that he didn't think he would do anything with her when she came to visit but that if something did happen he would break up with me because it wouldn't be fair to me. I am just worried because they dated for so long and with a child involved, I am afraid he might leave me for a chance to start a family now. Am I over-reacting?

No. You see people who share a child the is some special bond and you sad you ask him what will he do if the baby was his well his answer was he will take care of him. Yes its his responsibilities to take care of his child if its his.
But to me it seems like he is willing to go back to his ex if it turns out that the child is his.

You must stay alet that he may leave you. He is not sure about the staybility of his relationship. Just ber in mind that he might dissapoint you.

First, I hope that he doesn't simply accept her word that the baby is his. He needs to have a paternity test done to be sure.

Anyway, after having said that... I understand the desire to want to take care of it if it turns out to be his. That is a good thing. What is crap is how he may or may not get back together with her because of this. Also his claim that he probably won't do anything with her when she shows up... but he might.

You want my honest opinion? He sounds like a jerk and I think you could do better. Think about what he said to you... he may not do anything with her but if he does, he will break up with you. What does this tell you? It tells me he doesn't care about you as much as you may want him to. It also tells me he is an a$$h0le. He is playing you right now. Keeping you stringing along while hoping that he can get back with her. He is dreaming that he will have a wonderful life and a wonderful family... I bet he doesn't even ask her for proof that the baby is his.

I know what I would do with him at this point.

First, I hope that he doesn't simply accept her word that the baby is his. He needs to have a paternity test done to be sure.

Anyway, after having said that....I understand the desire to want to take care of it if it turns out to be his. That is a good thing. What is crap is how he may or may not get back together with her because of this. Also his claim that he probably won't do anything with her when she shows up....but he might.

You want my honest opinion? He sounds like a jerk and I think you could do better. Think about what he said to you....he may not do anything with her but if he does, he will break up with you. What does this tell you? It tells me he doesn't care about you as much as you may want him to. It also tells me he is an a$$h0le. He is playing you right now. Keeping you stringing along while hoping that he can get back with her. He is dreaming that he will have a wonderful life and a wonderful family....I bet he doesn't even ask her for proof that the baby is his.

I know what I would do with him at this point.

He is going to have a paternity test done. And I know I should just leave him but I have never had a connection with someone like this. Yeah, I have been in love before but never like this. It just really sucks. :(

The worst part is that you seem to think you have a connection with him but it seems to me he doesn't think as much of this connection as you do.

Face it... You came here asking what to do but you really aren't going to do anything except deal with whatever he does to you. That's fine, if that's what you want. Just don't come and waste time by asking for advice that you know you're not going to listen to it anyway.

The worst part is that you seem to think you have a connection with him but it seems to me he doesn't think as much of this connection as you do.

Face it...You came here asking what to do but you really aren't going to do anything except deal with whatever he does to you. That's fine, if that's what you want. Just don't come and waste time by asking for advice that you know you're not going to listen to it anyway.

Actually, I said it sucks because I am going to break up with him...