My husband and I have been together going on 8 years and married for 2 in the beginning I'd never hurt him id do everything to make him happy, he started lying and talking to other girls it went on for about 4 years till I had had enough my feelings stopped and I went my own way I started talking to another guy and he found out and started to change but once we got back together he started doing it all over again and again I gave up but stayed in the relationship with him because I felt I still loved him but now we had been broken up for about 4 months and I was talking to my close friend whom I've never been in a relationship with before but we have messed around I do miss him and love him but at the same time I'm back with my husband and I can't stop talking to this guy I'm in love with both of them but I cannot be faithful to my hubby at all I don't know why even when him and I are having a good time I still find myself wanting to be with the other guy but I still love my hubby and this other guy Is everything and more than what my husband has ever been like with me he has never disrespected me he ha always treated me like a lady always cuddles me and gives me love and attention I never have to ask him to do any of it he does it all on his own and on the other hand my hubby I have to tell him when I'm feeling like he's being distant or when he don't cuddle or be affectionate with me I hate it I feel like I'm making him do something he don't want what do I do him and I have 3 kids and the other guy knows he's very understanding and loves the fact of me being a mother and hard worker because he's a father and a very hard worker himself I've never met a man to work so hard and be so busy but still makes sure he has time to be with me one real important thing is that my husband makes me feel low of myself like I'm not good enough but I know I'm very good looking and I do get a lot of attention I don't admire it but it feels good to get compliments from time to time because my husband really don't compliment me hardly as on the other hand the other guy always has me smiling and enjoying my time he always compliments me and I think very highly of myself when I'm with him please help I live them both and have had enough of hurting because I need to just pick one and be happy finally someone please help

Sounds like both you and your husband have no moral or respect for each other. He cheats, you cheat. You hold his cheating over his head, he changes, then time goes by and he starts cheating again, and so do you.

To me it sounds like you want to justify your cheating.

Fact is, I don't think you're ready to be in any relationship, not with your husband, and not with your lover. You need to leave them both and figure out why you do what you do, why you cheat. Once you figure that out, then you can find someone to love.

Until then, it will just be you jumping from one man to the next, looking for something you can't even name.

The decisions to cheat was on you. Did your husband cheat? Sure. But so did you. You're both to blame for this. You both need to get it all figured out.