I've been with my partner for nearly 2 years, he has severe depression, but this has been something we've always dealt with together. Recently, an ex boyfriend spoke to me on Facebook, it was totally innocent, but when I told my parter about it, he became furious.
I used to be a compulsive liar, and he has convinced himself that I've lied to him (I haven't). We're best friends, never before has he hurt me. But when I told him about my ex talking to me, he said he doesn't trust me. I was standing in front of him, he shoved me so hard that I fell onto the floor, I stood up to face off with him, and he shoved me again, even harder.
I love him so much, I trust him with my life, but now we haven't spoken for a few days, and I don't know what to do. He said he's going to have to think about whether to stay with me, should I beat him to the punch and break it off? Or should I fight for our partnership? Please, somebody help me.

Get out of the relationship. Next time, you may not be so lucky.

I suggest getting out of it while you can. What he did was absolutely 100% wrong. If he shoved you now, he will do it again, and again. This is not the way you treat people you love. You don't want to become another statistic of women in abusive relationships.

When you break up with him, make sure it is somewhere in a public place, like perhaps a coffee shop, because he cannot be trusted anywhere alone with you. Cut off all contact with him, and take precautions for your safety.

In the end, you will be happy that you did so.

Take care of yourself

Fight for what partnership? The dynamic changed once he pushed you down to the floor -- twice. Get out now before he blackens your eye, bloodies your nose, breaks an arm, or worse. No, I don't want to hear how much you love him. Get out. Now.

I'm just scared, and confused. Thank you.

It will not be easy, but as you can see, three different people gave you the same answer. Get out before you get really hurt.

You trust him with your life but he pushed you to the floor not once but twice? To be brutally honest, you must not value your life very much because this is just the beginning of a very abusive relationship.

If he shoved you that draws the line. You need to go to his face and confront him that no one every does that to a lady.

I'm just scared, and confused. Thank you.
Scared I understand. What part confuses you?

If he shoved you that draws the line. You need to go to his face and confront him that no one every does that to a lady.


You want a woman who has clearly been physically abused to confront her abuser, face to face?

And what does she say to him? "No one ever does that to a lady."

I work in the legal system. If you want to be guaranteed you'll be assaulted, this is the way to do it.

I realize you are 13 on an adult board and this is all new to you, but please think before you post advice, or stick to the teen/children boards.

If this person decides to do what you have suggested and it gets ugly, it was your suggestion! That's a lot of responsibility.

He said he's going to have to think about whether to stay with me, should I beat him to the punch and break it off?

Great idea!! He goes to work, you disappear and get everyone you know to watch your back, especially the men folks. Be safe.

Great idea!!!! He goes to work, you disappear and get everyone you know to watch your back, especially the men folks. Be safe.
But our current problem is, where does she go? The shelters don't accept her dogs.

What dogs? What about family or friends? Maybe they can't take them, but could help with kennel fees for a few days.

What dogs?? What about family or friends?? Maybe they can't take them, but could help with kennel fees for a few days.
Sorry, Tal. That was a different abused woman thread. Too many of them lately...

Clear sign of an abuser, get out of there, and get out of there fast. Today he shoves you, tomorrow he slaps you, the day after he punches you, do you see where this goes? In extreme cases it stops with him burying you.

Sorry, Tal. That was a different abused woman thread. Too many of them lately....


- for a minute there I thought it was me!