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View Full Version : I'm insecure about my girlfriend


Michael261977
Jun 27, 2012, 11:09 AM
I've been in a wonderful relationships with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We are best friends, and live together.
Every year she travels to Europe for work(she is a nanny), and her employers send her off for the last week and a half solo to travel on her own.

Last year, on the final days she was out of touch for two days straight with some guy she met while traveling. She told me everything about him, about he was the only person on the trip who respected her relationship with me and felt comfortable hanging out with. While I found
This disturbing, I trusted her. Well, she is off once again and left her computer open for me to use.

During a history search I came across a quite a few searches on CL for casual encounters m-w in the past 3 months. No biggie, I do it sometimes for laughs as well. I looked deeper and found she had replied to one prior to us dating. I was floored she would do such a thing, but the past is the past so whatever.

Then I came across a photo of her and this guy from her Europe trip last year nuzzling each other with the title"yup" attached to the picture. It could very well be innocent, but I'm confused as to how to handle this information. Now I'm not so sure if she is the woman I think she is.

She begins her solo trip in a week and I'm sick with worry.

Am I over reacting?

slapshot_oi
Jun 27, 2012, 01:52 PM
Am I over reacting?
Yes. You snooped, and now you pay the price with your own worry.

I know you don't want to think your girlfriend ever had one-night stands, no man out there does, but the reality is men and women do these things for a variety of reasons. Also, although she replied to a Craigslist ad doesn't mean she ever met the person on the other end, for all you know it could've been a spammer.

Lessons to take away from this: 1) always trust your girlfriend until she gives you a reason not to, and 2) no matter what, don't snoop!

I'm reminded of a quote: "If you have to ask, then you weren't intended to know. And when you ask prepare for an answer that you don't want to hear".

Michael261977
Jun 27, 2012, 02:03 PM
Yes. You snooped, and now you pay the price with your own worry.

I know you don't want to think your girlfriend ever had one-night stands, no man out there does, but the reality is men and women do these things for a variety of reasons. Also, although she replied to a Craigslist ad doesn't mean she ever met the person on the other end, for all you know it could've been a spammer.

Lessons to take away from this: 1) always trust your girlfriend until she gives you a reason not to, and 2) no matter what, don't snoop!

I'm reminded of a quote: "If you have to ask, then you weren't intended to know. And when you ask prepare for an answer that you don't want to hear".

Very true. I had a moment of panic and it was wrong to snoop, and I know this.
When we met we were both in the same level of shenanigans. I have been way worse in the past so I have zero right to judge. It's the distance that bothers me and my own stupid insecurities and I know I need to stop being worried because I know she loves me dearly. Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest to complete strangers with an outside perspective. Thank you for your reply.