macg2021
Jan 1, 2012, 02:18 PM
I've been with my girlfriend for going on 4 years now and love her very much. I honestly believed she was the girl I was going to marry and still do, but the relationship we have has changed considerably.
When the relationship started, we had our hot and heavy phase, but that was relatively short-lived, as I reflect back on it. I was her first for any sexual act, and she was my second, though I wish I had saved myself for her.
Moving forward a few months, the sexual foreplay began to get less and less, for me anyway. It got to the point where I was doing all of the "work" in every aspect. I found that kind of depressing but decided that I could live with it and stopped being all sad about it; she still wanted to have sex with me.
Moving forward a few more months, she began to get annoyed whenever I would make a sexual joke or innuendo, and she outright called me a pervert with malice in her voice. I didn't make the joke to try and "get anything"--that's just the person I am; I crack jokes and have done so my entire life. I remember she used to laugh at my jokes, but after that incident, I stopped completely and stay away from mentioning anything related to the subject.
I also used to be able give her a gentle smack on the butt when she would cook or walk by me, but I can't do that anymore either. She got very mad at me when I smacked her butt when we were putting our Christmas tree up and that resulted in her actually yelling at me.
What I'm trying to convey is that our relationship has completely changed from being able to joke around and enjoy each other to having none of that affection that I loved so much. At this point, I have stopped attempting to show any affection at all. Unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating, though I wish I was. She began to reject me whenever I would try to initiate anything, even just french kissing. I no longer kiss her good morning, kiss her good night, hold her hand, spoon her in bed, rub her back, kiss her randomly, hug her randomly, or pretty much anything that expresses that I love her, though I still do.
What upsets me the most, however, is that she hasn't made any attempt to change this. She seems content with not expressing any sort of affection toward me and I'm pretty sure she hasn't even noticed that I have stopped. It might sound like I miss having sex, and I do, but it's more the feelings that arise from having sex that I miss.
When we expressed that we loved each other, I felt close to her, I felt happy, and I felt like I was worth something. Now I feel like she doesn't love me, or at least doesn't find me attractive anymore. I don't feel close to her or even comfortable enough to be naked in front of her or even have my shirt off around her.
I understand relationships change but we're only in our 20's and I thought this was the time of our lives where we could be with each other instead of just being around each other. If anybody can offer advice or tell what's going on I would appreciate it immensely. I miss my girlfriend, and I miss not being depressed.
When the relationship started, we had our hot and heavy phase, but that was relatively short-lived, as I reflect back on it. I was her first for any sexual act, and she was my second, though I wish I had saved myself for her.
Moving forward a few months, the sexual foreplay began to get less and less, for me anyway. It got to the point where I was doing all of the "work" in every aspect. I found that kind of depressing but decided that I could live with it and stopped being all sad about it; she still wanted to have sex with me.
Moving forward a few more months, she began to get annoyed whenever I would make a sexual joke or innuendo, and she outright called me a pervert with malice in her voice. I didn't make the joke to try and "get anything"--that's just the person I am; I crack jokes and have done so my entire life. I remember she used to laugh at my jokes, but after that incident, I stopped completely and stay away from mentioning anything related to the subject.
I also used to be able give her a gentle smack on the butt when she would cook or walk by me, but I can't do that anymore either. She got very mad at me when I smacked her butt when we were putting our Christmas tree up and that resulted in her actually yelling at me.
What I'm trying to convey is that our relationship has completely changed from being able to joke around and enjoy each other to having none of that affection that I loved so much. At this point, I have stopped attempting to show any affection at all. Unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating, though I wish I was. She began to reject me whenever I would try to initiate anything, even just french kissing. I no longer kiss her good morning, kiss her good night, hold her hand, spoon her in bed, rub her back, kiss her randomly, hug her randomly, or pretty much anything that expresses that I love her, though I still do.
What upsets me the most, however, is that she hasn't made any attempt to change this. She seems content with not expressing any sort of affection toward me and I'm pretty sure she hasn't even noticed that I have stopped. It might sound like I miss having sex, and I do, but it's more the feelings that arise from having sex that I miss.
When we expressed that we loved each other, I felt close to her, I felt happy, and I felt like I was worth something. Now I feel like she doesn't love me, or at least doesn't find me attractive anymore. I don't feel close to her or even comfortable enough to be naked in front of her or even have my shirt off around her.
I understand relationships change but we're only in our 20's and I thought this was the time of our lives where we could be with each other instead of just being around each other. If anybody can offer advice or tell what's going on I would appreciate it immensely. I miss my girlfriend, and I miss not being depressed.