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View Full Version : I try to contact my ex but no response


shan1025
Sep 7, 2011, 08:26 PM
My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. We dated for a year but became close friends and tried working on the relationship another 2 years. I admit I was clingy, and *****y, and was nagging all the time. I was the worst girlfriend ever. BUT I never cheated and I always bought him things and did things for him despite my poor attitude. Well I decided because he was having a lot of stress at work to give him some space . 2 weeks go by and I didn't hear from him so I called. He told me he did not want any contact from me. Now when I email him 2 months later I either do not get a response or I get a generic one that in no way is related to the question. His response is "I have read your emails and will consider everything stated" problem is he uses that line every time . If I ask do you think you will come back he uses that line. If I call he does not answer EVER. He has not in any way spoke to me in 2 months except the random email that is generically produced. I am 34 he is 54. I love him very much. Do you think he is gone for good?

talaniman
Sep 7, 2011, 09:48 PM
Time to leave him alone and find something else to do. Sorry, but I doubt he wants to come back.

amicon
Sep 8, 2011, 12:43 AM
Stop trying to get in touch,heal and move on.

He told you he wants no contact.

vanheart
Sep 8, 2011, 01:43 AM
"He told me he did not want any contact from me"

That's all you need to know. Hes doing the right thing.

Now, you the same.

Get the message?

Stop bugging him.

mmresd
Sep 8, 2011, 12:53 PM
He was gone for good A LONG time ago, you just are in denial. Leave the man alone, you messed up, he is older and probably knows better and for that reason he is avoiding you, read the message. Stop stalking him and live your live, don't be hanged up over a guy that does not even return your calls.

shan1025
Sep 8, 2011, 08:12 PM
Thank you for the advice.

shan1025
Sep 8, 2011, 08:18 PM
I should also mention I was not the only badly behaving person in our relationship. But this not about him. This is about me and my behavior. I will learn from this and never allow it to happen in the future. It hurts to have to learn things on people you really love. It seems I never made many mistakes or errors with those I did not care for or were not in love with. I wish he was one of those so it did not hurt as much. I guess he will be a distant memory just as my other ex's have been. It is too bad because although you guys are seeing a number, age was never an issue with me. I thought he was far more attractive than a lot of the men my age. But that is really not important. I guess I deserve these responses. I know I messed up and he is gone. It is good to hear it from someone else besides myself. Again thank you for your responses. This threat can now be deleted.

Cat1864
Sep 8, 2011, 10:40 PM
Shan, we don't delete threads. It is your choice whether you read any more responses, but I hope you do.

I highly doubt you were the only problem in the relationship. However, it is good to know that you take responsibility for your part. That's a big step many people stumble over. Since you have an understanding of what you need to work on, take this time to find ways to keep from repeating the negative behaviors you exhibited in this relationship.

Don't beat yourself up about what you should have done differently in the past. It just keeps the hurt and pain fresh. Instead, look at how you can be stronger and a better partner in your next relationship whoever it is with.

Even if he were willing to communicate, I would still be telling you to give yourself time to heal and work on a support system that isn't dependent on a relationship so you don't feel so insecure in the future.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

shan1025
Sep 9, 2011, 09:37 AM
When I first met him he was an honest person. But as time went on I began to find out he was lying to me about many things. At first I handled it respectfully. I was in control of my emotions and I did not allow it to become something that made me insecure or clingy. But as time went on and the lies continued I felt myself losing the ability to rationalize it in my brain to stay calm and collected. Because I never could understand why he continued to lie about things I asked him to just be honest about. I began to develop insecurity issues. I began to cling to him more so because as he continued to lie he also began to push me away. I knew I loved this person but for the life of me could not figure out the reasons behind why he was lying constantly. By the time he decided to be honest I had a hard time trusting him. I could not determine what was truth and what was fiction. I never gave him the benefit of the doubt. I never really gave him a fair chance to prove himself to me. Instead I was always accusing him of things and never gave him a chance. He is a good person but has some issues. We all do and I should have seen he was trying and instead of beating him down. I should have gave him a chance to show me he was a changed person or at least trying to be a better person.

vanheart
Sep 9, 2011, 09:48 AM
The point is he is your ex.

No longer worth your time. Don't dwell on the past.

talaniman
Sep 9, 2011, 10:17 AM
Very often we get with people who we discover are not what we thought they would be, and sometimes we don't notice the change in ourselves that happen being with them. Its no shame at all to finally recognize our own unhappiness, and trying to change things for the better. That's human, and natural. Sometimes it works, many times it does NOT.

The important thing now is the healing from this experience, and regaining your strength of mind, body, and soul, so you can put this behind you, and get healthy again, for the next life adventure. We all go through this.

ineedhelplease
Sep 11, 2011, 02:55 PM
Let it go. If he straight up said he doesn't want contact... despite it hurting, let it go. No more contact.