Hello. I'm not sure if someone can really help me right now but it's worth the shot.

A few months ago I met a girl, who has a boyfriend. We got to be really good friends. We hang out every day after school, work with the same group, so we kind of had to see each other everyday. My feelings for her got stronger, and I started to fall in love with her. She is just that lovable type of girl.

I kept everything for myself. But I started to act differently around her. I was quiet, I didn't laugh so much as before, and stuff. So she kept asking me everyday what's wrong. But I thought I couldn't tell her, because I really respect the fact that she has a boyfriend. One day, around a month ago, she and her boyfriend had a huge fight. He left and she started crying. I asked her "what can I do to see you smile again?", and she said: "tell me the truth, what's wrong with you in the last weeks or so..".

So I told her everything. How I love her, and how I dream of her every night. How her happiness is the most important thing in the world to me, and how I would give anything just to see her happy. I also told her that we should stop seeing each other. That we should stop talking because she has a boyfriend, and I really don't think I could be just her friend.

So the next day I didn't go out with my friends. But she called me, just like the day before. She kept texting me everyday, she kept messaging me on YM. I told her many times that we should stop talking about my feelings, because its like she is emotionally cheating on her boyfriend. It's like she doesn't understand. She told me she wants to get to know me better, every time I told her we should break all contact, she starts crying, and I just can't stand that.

She also told me "can't you see I'm not kissing or hugging my boyfriend so much when you are around? I don't want you to get hurt..". So to this day, she keeps calling me, texting me everyday, asking me to hang out with her, and our friends.

So what should I do? Should I just ignore all of her messages, and find some new friends for a while? Or what should I tell her? There's nothing I would want more in the world than to be with her, and make her happy, but she has a boyfriend. Even if she isn't as happy with him as she should be, I must respect that.

Just an example. On Monday, 4 days ago, she sent me 17! Messages on my cell. With stuff like "what's up", "when do you get off work", "I'm bored" etc. That night she and her boyfriend had another huge fight (I was there), and she was upset. So the next day she almost didn't talk to me, and again I told her we should stop talking to each other because it's hurting me, and also it's not OK for her just to lead me on. But she didn't understand that. Again yesterday and today we met outside. Even though I ignored her messages on the phone. We talked outside and she keeps looking at me and wants to talk to me about stuff, but I feel really bad, and mostly I wasn't talking to her too much.

What should I do next? Just try to ignore her completely? Or what? Today I told her again, that all I want is for us to be together, and if she doesn't want that, and because she has a boyfriend, she should stop texting me. What do I do if she still texts me? Or calls me etc. Me, her and her boyfriend meet everyday because we are in the same circle of friends. Me with her boyfriend not really friends. We just know each other.

Any advice would be fine. Thanks.

Sorry guy, but until you stand up for yourself, and stop confessing your love to her, she will always disregard your feelings, and keep doing what she is doing. Ignore her, and bet she will understand why. Sure she will TRY to force a friendship from you, but that's where you have to stand strong, because just as you TRY to show her relationship some respect, she shows your feelings NONE!

If you weren't so blinded by your love, you would see that. See the facts, and you will know what to do, and how to do it. Polite and brief at school and work, but unavailable for her SELFISH DISRESPECT. Hi, and bye.

This is a hard situation to be in. I'm going to be blunt, and I'm hoping that you realize that even if this comes off as harsh, I'm telling you this because it's the truth.

If you accept this, then you can finally move on.

She's not going to be with you, and you already know that. She has a boyfriend, and she obviously has no plans to leave him, even though she knows how you feel.

You did the right thing. You tried to break contact with her. You shouldn't have to continue being her friend just because she wants you around.

Here's the part where you might get upset.

Buddy, this girl is using you, and she doesn't care about you at all, not even as a friend, and here's why;


So the next day she almost didn't talk to me, and again I told her we should stop talking to each other because it's hurting me, and also it's not OK for her just to lead me on. But she didn't understand that.


You told her point blank that continuing a friendship with her is hurting you, but she doesn't care. She wants you in her life, no matter how much it hurts you. Dude, with friends like that you don't need enemies.

You have to stand up for yourself. You have a right to tell her that you don't want any more contact with her, and she has to respect that. It doesn't matter what she wants, it's what's best for you that matters.

You disappear from her life-no contact.

You are in charge of your life-she I s NOT!

Can I just say, well done for trying to cut off communication with her when you have these feelings for her. I know not all people would agree with me, but it is unfair on her boyfriend and I think you can see this.

You seem to feel that you can't be happy until she says she wants to be with you, but that day may never come, and since she has a boyfriend, it probably wasn't meant to be. By you admitting your feelings, it has probably confused her, which is why she isn't as happy with her boyfriend as she could be, but you need to giver her space to fix that.

Its difficult to get over someone, but it does happen eventually. Try to keep yourself busy, maybe find something to do that would involve meeting new people away from her. I understand that it may feel awkward at first to meet new people, but strangers are really just friends you haven't met yet.

I met my current boyfriend over a year ago after being in a similar situation. I focused on myself and what I wanted out of life and found someone who fell in love with that. Try to do the same for yourself.

You sound like a decent and caring guy and I'm sure you will find someone who will love and appreciate that about you. Just give it time, the world isn't going anywhere.