Need some help here, My second cousin recently passed away but we were very close when I was young, took me fishing, football, did everything a father should for his son. I was asked to start to arrange everything for his funeral has his daughter is out of the country for the next few days and doesn't know he's died yet (she knew before she went on holiday he probably wouldn't be here but didn't want to be disturbed) her unmarried mother asked me to start proceedings. So to get the cause of death forms and his belongings from the hospital and arrange for death certificate I made appointments and when asked I said he was my stepfather, to make things easier as we weren't sure I would be able to do all this as his second cousin. It now reads on his death certificate registered by his step son, his ex partner now thinks his daughter won't be happy with this (I bit my tongue and didn't mention I thought his daughter should be here to do it!). So my first question is, can this be changed on his death certificate and am I likely to get done for purjury? Thanks, Jason.

Hello Jason,

First let me say that I am very sorry for your loss and I would like to help you in any way I can. To do this, I have to break your post up, you see, feelings don't matter when it comes to the legal system. So, let me see if I have this right. Please correct me if I am mistaken, okay?


My second cousin recently passed away but we were very close when I was young, took me fishing, football, did everything a father should for his son.
Legally it doesn't matter how close you were.


I was asked to start to arrange everything for his funeral

Who asked you to make the arrangements?


doesn't know he's died yet (she knew before she went on holiday he probably wouldn't be here but didn't want to be disturbed)

I don't mean to sound harsh, but the above is not really important, legally.


her unmarried mother asked me to start proceedings.

How is the unmarried mother related to the second cousin who passed away?


So to get the cause of death forms and his belongings from the hospital and arrange for death certificate I made appointments and when asked I said he was my stepfather, to make things easier as we wern't sure I would be able to do all this as his second cousin.

This was a lie correct?


It now reads on his death certificate registered by his step son, his ex partner now thinks his daughter won't be happy with this (I bit my tongue and didn't mention I thought his daughter should be here to do it!). So my first question is, can this be changed on his death certificate and am I likely to get done for purjury? Thanks, Jason.

It isn't perjury, as perjury is lying when you are under oath, such as in a court of law when you put your hand on the bible and swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. However, it is falsifying a legal document.

What happens next depends on how upset the family is, whether they want to take action, whether they want to report the lie to the authorities. I believe you lied on a document intended to be filed with the authorities, and that is a crime.

You are obviously upset with his daughter and her mother (I fail to see the reason behind posting that the mother is unmarried - your disapproval is very obvious) which makes me question family dynamics and everyone's position in this death.

You need to speak with the Funeral Director about the death certificate. As it happens my late husband's had the wrong date of death (I know, how can that happen) and the Funeral Director was able to contact the authorities and get it corrected. They would not listen to me. Of course, there was no criminal intent behind the error in my case.

Quite frankly, if his daughter feels about you the way you feel about her, I see problems ahead.

Ok, where to start, because he had a daughter I wasn't sure if I would be able to start proceedings.
His daughter mother asked me to start proceedings, his ex-partner.
She is his ex.
Yes it was a lie and his ex wants to rectify this on his death certificate.

Did he have a Power of Attorney? If not, it typically falls in the hands of the next of kin.

My feeling still is that you misrepresented yourself and your relationship on a legal document. That is a crime.

If you want it corrected contact the Funeral Director - I found that to be the fast/easy way to get a correction made.

Death Certificates CAN be accessed. You will be listed as the stepson for all eternity. It's incorrect information, to put it kindly.

Get it straightened out.

Hi Judy, if her mum had been married to him I would have expected her to get more involved, that's why I mentioned she was unmarried, sit was her that asked me to start proceedings, knowing we were very close and its her that won't let her daughter know yet because she didn't want to be disturbed no matter what. We get on OK but she thinks her daughter won't be happy about this and will want it changed. Im a little bitter her daughter wasn't at his death by choice and therfor isn't involved with thngs as I feel I'm doing things that she should be doing.

Next of kin is out of the country and unaware he has died yet.

Thanks Judy, I appreciate your honesty and directness. Just didn't know this could be done and what the implications are for me.

I see a problem if/when the estate is probated. You are now listed as a person who COULD be entitled to inherit or who, minimally, has to be notified of the Estate when, in fact, you are NOT entitled and are NOT a stepchild.

You need to get it corrected - as I keep saying, contact the Funeral Director. At best, he/she will take care of it. If not, he/she can refer you to the proper authority.

He has a daughter so there wouldn't be an issue with inheritance. I'll speak with the funeral director, hopefully he can sort it out and I'll just get a slap on the wrist.

Thef act that he has a daughter means nothing. If the Will is probated everyone who COULD inherit MUST be notified. The executor will be asked for the names of all relatives. In NY a "step" IS notified - that would be you. I don't know what is done in your State.

It has nothing to do with actual inheritance and a LOT to do with presumed inheritance and/or claim.

(With relatives like these you don't need enemies.)

I'm from the U.K, everything would automatically go to his daughter anyway, only did it to try to help and make things easier, wish I'd have said I'm not getting involved now and left everything for his daughters return.

Well, we all would do some things differently if we had a clue when we first got involved.

At any rate - I've been so busy with the legal issues that I neglected to express my sympathy. Sounds like you and your cousin were close, like he was a big part of your life.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

My feeling still is that you misrepresented yourself and your relationship on a legal document. That is a crime. ...

It would be if he had signed a form which indicated he was the step-son. But as I understand it he just lied to the official who then issued the certificate. If so, it was a lie but probably not a crime.

Thanks to all of you guys who have given me advice, I'm going to speak to the registerars on Monday to explain the situation and hopefully get it changed, failing that I'll ask the funeral director to see if he can get it changed... just hope it doesn't get myself in too much trouble.