Hello forum :)

To start this off, I think I should admit I shouldn't be here.. I'm 16.. Not sure *how* against forum rules this is, but I feel I'll get a better reply here and I feel that I'm mature enough to post here. (Apologies if I'm not and feel free to move this topic to the other forum)

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I live in a very sexually active area. Most, if not all of my friends have lost their virginity when they were around 12/13. I have disagreed with this at all times. Not without its consequences though.

I'm 16, never had a girlfriend and I've never really gone further than hugging. Now, I know you're thinking "well, you've got your life ahead of you and you shouldn't be worrying about that", but when your friends are having sex pretty much most days and you don't really get hugs, it's a slight moral knockdown.

Personally, I want to give my virginity to the girl I'm going to be staying with for the rest of my life.. Almost as a present to say "thank you for being there". I also don't really want to rush things and take my time.. But I fear that if I do get involved with a girl that I'll end up making bad decisions.

There's other questions I'd love to ask, but they're not really that much about sexuality.. It's more of a confidence, so could someone point me to that forum please? It'd be very much appreciated :)

Thanks again and I'm so sorry if I'm not mature enough for this forum! I just feel that adults would be the best to respond to this as no doubt you've all gone through that stage of your life.

~Paulio

Forgot the summary;

"Am I going about this in the correct way, or should I be doing something differently?"

I suggest finding other people with the same plan of remaining celebate, and spend time with them for support. Even if it's just online. There is strength in numbers.

It sounds to me as though you're having second thoughts, or doubts. Are you somewhat jealous of those who have gone further than "a hug".

And I don't have a problem with asking this question here, but I wonder if you'd be better off in the "teen" section, as to get responses from your peers.

You seem intelligent for 16. Concentrate on your education, and be whatever you want in life.

Strengthen your brain and your heart. They'll be plenty of time to use the other organ.

Let your friends make their own mistakes.

I wish you luck.

Well, I had a look in that board and it was mainly about "my girlfriend.. .." and I figured as this was slightly sexual, then it would suit here better.

And I think it's a bit of both really.. I'd love to go more than a hug.. Just a kiss, but many girls would want to go further.. It's jealousy because I can see they're enjoying it very much but then I don't want to do it because it's against my principals?

And yes - It's very much a tossup between "have I wasted this part of my childhood", "am I planning too much" and "am I playing it correctly?"

And as for the finding others, there are a few people I know over the internet that share the same thoughts, but I highly doubt we'll ever see each other in real life..

And thanks for the compliment :) results day a week today :(

I moved your question to Teens so that you get the best answers from both adults and teens (also it keeps your thread from being closed.)

What activities besides the computer are you involved in? Sometimes finding things like volunteer work or hobbies can get you around people who share your values.

More than likely there are others around you who share your beliefs. It may take looking beyond outward appearances to see the person underneath. Some of the girls who you think are out for sex may be doing it just to get someone to pay attention to them. They may think that is the only way to get/keep a boyfriend. Someone who isn't out for 'one thing' may be a refreshing change to them.

Be yourself. You will find someone.

Not everyone has sex when they say they do. You should not have sex till you are ready. I think someone as smart as you can exercise some self control and still kiss. That being said, as an FYI...
Not everyone waits until they are married to have sex. Be prepared to wait a long time to find a virgin. You may want to consider that when you demand that every girl you date is a virgin. Best of luck to you.