View Full Version : Returning to Church after long Absence
 
 basquiat
Apr 23, 2010, 05:55 PM
How do you return to church life after a long absence due to Major Hurts form so called Christians?. i.e, How do you cope with being judged, as most Christians think because you've left church, you've left God. But so many christians live on the fringes with their love for God in tact, It's like Gandhi said:"I like your Christ, but not your Christians, they are so unchrist like".
Don't get me wrong, I Know that christians are not perfect (just like me) But It was people in LEADERSHIP that really got to me, I stuck it out for 10years simply because they would say "If I left it would be rebelling against God, & If I didn't follow their advice... I'd be rebelling against etc... So you can see how easily someone who's wanting to please God can get sucked into that. I have not been to church for about 8-9years & just started going to a different church... but it is difficult...
 Wondergirl
Apr 23, 2010, 06:02 PM
If they are really Christians, they will welcome you into their midst, no questions asked. (You don't have to explain or apologize to them.) If it's the same church you left and the members judge you or make rude comments, move on to a different church.
 classyT
Apr 23, 2010, 06:51 PM
Bas,
 
In my opinion, being hurt by a fellow brother or sister in Christ hurts the worst.  It is a spiritual hurt but the Lord understands the exact pain you are going through... check it out:
 
Psalms 55:12-14
12If an enemy were insulting me,
 
I could endure it;
 
If a foe were raising himself against me,
 
I could hide from him. 
 
13But it is you, a man like myself,
 
My companion, my close friend, 
14with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
As we walked with the throng at the house of God
 
The Lord understand your pain. AND if I read my Bible correctly( and I do) HE is the HEAD of the church.  If HE can forgive being PERFECT, than who are they to stand in judgement.  Find another church.  A local church should be a hospital for sinners.. NOT a showcase for saints.  :)
 dwashbur
Apr 23, 2010, 07:04 PM
It's often been said that the Christian church is the only army that shoots its wounded.  But there are good congregations out there; you just have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince (or princess as the case may be).  Shop around some, and don't give up.  I'm kind of in a similar boat myself right now, having just relocated for the gazillionth time.
 Fr_Chuck
Apr 23, 2010, 07:20 PM
You go for yourself, not for what anyone else thinks or says.  If you allow someone else to get in your way between God and you,  then that is your issue, not the other people.s
 450donn
Apr 23, 2010, 07:25 PM
Too many church goers are too judgmental.  Churches do not judge.  Church goers do.  So pick a church where you are welcomed with no questions asked.  We have been members of one such church.  It is a place who's mission is welcoming all who are hurting and offering help to anyone who asks.  Start shopping until you find one.  I know is some areas this may be difficult, but I would be willing to bet there is one within driving distance.
 Kitkat22
Apr 23, 2010, 07:41 PM
I  feel  bad  even  addressing  this  post  because  I  am  one  of  those 
 
Imperfect  Christians.  Being  hurt  by  the  people  in  Church  is  similar
 
To  a broken  relationship  with  a  family  member.  It  hurts  your  heart.
 
But  Christ  is  the  Church  and  he  is  the  one  we   build  on.   A  few
 
Years  ago  my  husband  and  I  were  in  a  wonderful  Church.. You  
 
Could  feel  the  spirit  of  the  Lord  when  you  walked  in  the  door.  
 
The  Church  had begun  to  grow  and  we hardly  missed  a   service.
 
Then  the  members  wanted  to build  a  fellowship hall  and  that's the
 
Story.. some  wanted  it... some  didn't.  The  Church was divided  and it
 
Was so  divided.. it wasn't ever  the same  again.  It  broke  our hearts
 
But  we  found  another  Church  and began  to  like it.  Soon  after  the
 
Pastor  said  he  didn't believe  in  women  wearing  pants  to  church.
 
Once  again  another  split.  We  left  and have visited  other Churches
 
Sporadically.. but  I  have  never  gotten  over  the  hurt  Christians  can 
 
Cause  each  other.  The  Bible  says.. "Fail  not to assemble  thy selves  
 
together."  and it also says, "Come  together in one mind  and one 
 
accord".  When you've been  hurt  that's hard to do.  I still  don't
 
The  Lord  doesn't  cause  discord  in  Church.  Don't  look  to people the
 
In Church,  people  will disappoint  you.  Don't  put  your  faith  in  
 
Man,  cause  man  will  disappoint you.  God  will never  let  you  down.
 
I  say  things  and  act  in  ways  that  are  not  Christ   like  everyday.
 
That's  because  I'm  not  perfect.. but  I  am  forgiven.  Forgive  those  
 
Who  hurt  you... just  as  Jesus  forgave  the  very  one's  who nailed  
 
Him  to the cross.   God Bless You  and Please Pray For  Me  as  I  will  
 
Be  praying  for  you.  We  are  children  of  God.. even  though  we are 
 
So  imperfect  I  wonder  sometimes  how  he  could  love  someone  like
 
Me.. but  he does  and he loves  you. Ask  God  to  lead  you in finding
 
Another  Church.  He will... Blessings:)
 arcura
Apr 26, 2010, 09:59 PM
basquiat,
You have been given advice to shop around and it is good advice.
Finding the right one for you may be difficult but as the bible says persevere.
Keep trying it will be worth the effort to you.
Peace and kindness,
Fred