My friendships are suffering. Basically I can go through the list of friends and think of all of the mean and self centered things they do more than the good. I know everyone isn't perfect and certainly I am not.

But even through my own selfishness I do try and be there for them and help them out. They of course are thanful, yet will snub me later. Don't get me wrong I am not too nice. I'm there if I'm needed just like any friend. I'm not looking for rewards or popularity, just simple respect, yet they just walk all over me. I'm not a push over, most of my friends seem to do this to everyone. Everyone knows. They never say anything though. My friends are not people to be feared nor superior to anyone, though they like to act and think so.

The reason it's a problem because every now and then when I do see them, they act like their lives are so difficult and tedious. When in reality they are spoiled by their families and have a relatively good home life. I don't have those things. I'm kind of poor. Helping my parents with bills, helping my sister through possible baby blues and taking care of my niece and nephews when she needs help, going to school and concentrating on my studies, and basically just tyring to make it.

I don't complain about my life and I don't mean to make it sound that way. I just can't stand how my friends don't appreciate their lives. I could never really tell them anything that I'm going through because they will never care or understand. Though their petty drama seems to dominate anything.

When we were 13 or even 18 it was fine. We were all immature and filled with drama. But now I just can't really put up with it. I'm opening my eyes to the reality of life and am trying to provide myself with a future. And sad to say even with the great talent and money they have I really don't see them accomplishing much and everyone (even their family) sees it too. Yet they still talk and act like they are bigger, better, and overall blessed with a wealthy future. I find that to be really selfish.

I'm 21 right now and I feel like I need to grown up. I am slowly improving my life to where I can be independent at least and am studying to be a doctor. I have a lot of priorities that cause me to be away from my friends. When I do have time I either have to work or am too tired and need rest for the next day.

My friends don't mind at all. In fact it seems as if they are slowly letting me go, you know what I mean? I'm not angry or bitter at all. I actually welcome it because I know that I can't be around negative and immature people.

Sometimes I have good things going and feel as friends maybe they could be happy for me but of course they will not care and just dwell on their over all unhappiness while rolling their eyes as if I'm bragging. I listen to them gloat and am always supportive of their accomplishments no matter what. I honestly am happy for them. Why can't they be happy for me?

Yet I can't believe that practically all my close friendships are these s. I think about it and have no one left aside from acquaintaces that I have nothing in common with and thus decided to become acquaintances. And even then I still will see my friends and despite their additudes we do have much in common and that's why we became friends in the first place.

I really don't know what to do. I wonder if just letting us drift away from each other is a good choice even if I will be lonely and have to make new friends, or wait for them to grow up? Honestly they were better people when we were 13 than now even with all the drama of junior high and hormones. I love them and cherish the memories we have, but I can't stand them. I just don't think its fair they way they treat people.

I have one more issue about my best friends that I will post up later. I appreciate that you read and hopefully gave your opinion on this. :)

People mature at different rates,and depending on circumstances can remain emotional and mentally immature for years.

I'm 37,I have met and befriended many people,however,I have moved on and so have they,I feel I am lucky to count two friends in my life,we have known each other for 20 years or more.

People come and go in your life,learn when to let go.

You will meet lots of people through out your life time,its impossible to be a true friend to all of them.

As for their selflessness etc,let it go,don't let it effect you,your busy getting on with your own life.

Letting petty squabbles interfer with your own day will not serve you and only drain your energy.

Try reading this site

http://joy2meu.com/Personal_Boundaries.htm

It might have what your looking for.

Thanks a bunch! I guess that pretty much covers everything.

When you have had to earn what you have, you appreciate it. You don't make judgments upon anyone, because you know and appreciate the value of things, including friendships.

People born into money who never learn to deviate from the entitlement way of thinking, believe life comes easy, loyalty, insight, and understanding falls short, except when they are in the company of like minded individuals.

There is a big difference between the two, as you are seeing. That is not to say that people with money are all like that, but those you point out sure seem to be.

There is not a lot of substance there. You need more.

I am very, very impressed that you can see your needs are not being met by this group of 'friends', and that you give, but they do not give back. That kind of unbalance is not a friendship, and I would let them go.

Obviously you have the confidence, and ability to make friends. You are kind and insightful, and have a few clues about what life is all about. You will meet others like yourself, with much more in common, and an understanding of just what a friendship should be.

Give your mom a hug from me. She's raised a really great kid.

I would imagine that as you move into the medical field and into situations where others are in the same walk of life, that you will find it easier to relate. You don't have to stay friends with your childhood buddies. It is very common to drift apart as you grow into different goals. Depending on your walk of life, your friends can vary.

If people don't bring you to a better self, you are better off finding new friends. Remember, though, you must be a friend in order to have a friend. But, if you feel you have done everything you can to be a friend, then it's time to find others that are better than you-friends that inspire you.

True friends are a treasure. But iI think your friends are very spoled brats, who were given everything without working for it. Being poor is nothing to be ashamed of, but not trying to change the circumstances is. Seems to me you give a lot of yourself to other people and you care about them. In the long run, who do you think will leave a better legacy?

Make new friends, although it will be hard to break free from the ones you've known forever. You seem like a great person and I think you're being way to hard on yourself. Your so called "full of themself friends", will be the ones who lose.
Don't let a few shallow people make you feel bad about yourself. There is a song called "New York Minute", by The Eagles that tells about being thankful for what you have. Listen to it. Good luck. In your heart I think you have already said goodby to them and that's why your sad.

Remember all the things your working to gain and when you are finished you can know in your heart you're better for having accomplished them on your own.

QUOTE May you never remember the friends who were untrue. But don't forget to remember the friends who stuck by you..