I'm going to read what you wrote Tal on your dating tips or maybe I should just give myself more alone time.
Do them both, its not either or. Maybe do some guy stuff with the fellas first.

Could you guys or anyone please give me their opinion on something?

A month ago my ex called me drunk and told me she was going to drive the 1 1/2 hrs and come over my house- the next day she basically blew me off and I hardly heard from her. Anyway I sent the text saying "I feel as though you have no respect for me anymore- you blew me off when you told me you were coming over. Dont contact me anymore unless you want to hang out or get back together."

Since then I've only heard from her one time(3 weeks ago) ( she was saying how the week I took her on a cruise was one of the best weeks of her life)

Do you think the text I sent was a good move? As much as I would like to be friends with her I feel disrepected and not important whatsoever so I wanted her to know I don't need her pity/guilt texts messages or calls.

It just sucks because I'm missing hearing from her. I guess its like a alcoholic or drug addict going through withdrawal.

For one thing, driving drunk isn't cool.
Nor should you have wanted her to.

It seems to me like a bs ploy to keep you sucked in.

The point is, you sent the text. That's done & in the past.
And yes, she doesn't respect you. Bit all of that doesn't change anything.

If you commit fully to having no contact w/her, you won't have this drama or turmoil in your mind.

I know what's its like to miss hearing from my ex, but what I realized shortly after was that I didn't want to be hurt by her words or actions any longer.

You have to combat this withdrawal with positive things for YOU.

And yes, you don't need her pity, guilt or anything else at this point.
Because that is all you will get if you stay in touch.

You know you got it bad when you think a drunk will keep their word.

You know you got it bad when you think a drunk will keep their word.

HAHA! So true Tal... she probably realized the next day what she said. I was stupid for believing it- wishful thinking I guess.:rolleyes:

For one thing, driving drunk isnt cool.
Nor should you have wanted her to.

It seems to me like a bs ploy to keep you sucked in.

The point is, you sent the text. Thats done & in the past.
And yes, she doesnt respect you. Bit all of that doesnt change anything.

If you commit fully to having no contact w/her, you wont have this drama or turmoil in your mind.

I know whats its like to miss hearing from my ex, but what I realized shortly after was that I didnt want to be hurt by her words or actions any longer.

You have to combat this withdrawal with positive things for YOU.

And yes, you dont need her pity, guilt or anything else at this point.
Because that is all you will get if you stay in touch.

Hey Van- no I didn't want her to drive drunk- she was going to come the following day. Yea you're right about committing fully to the no contact to eliminate any more drama. I think that's why I sent the text- because I couldn't deal with the ups and downs of talking to her (WE'd talk on the phone and I'd get false hope and her nice texts and IM's gave me more false hope and then she'd disappear for a while and I'd come crashing back down to earth):(

Well, now you know what to do.

Glad you have come to that realization.

Ok so I got a text message from my ex-fiance (for the 1st time in 3 weeks) this morning that said "heyy how are ya?! I was just thinking about you".

I know peoples advice was to do no contact but I was sick of her messing with my head like this so I replied "you got to be joking-I think its funny how you're too afraid to call. All you could do is send your lame pity/guilt text messages once a month".

She never responded so I think she may have finally gotten the message. I know I could have just ignored her but I just don't want her contacting me anymore so I felt the message was the best thing to do. Do you guys think the message I sent was good?

Its good you finally took a stand for yourself, and kept it short, brief, and definitely to the point.

Now enjoy your freedom. Nuff said.

Its good you finally took a stand for yourself, and kept it short, brief, and definitely to the point.

Now enjoy your freedom. Nuff said.

Thanks Tal- well I sent one a month ago that said basically the same thing- to not contact me unless she wanted to meet up or get back together... so I wanted to send this because I feel like she's just trying to get in my head and I feel disrespected that all I'm good enough for anymore is some lame text once a month:rolleyes:

Ok-enough said-no more contact-and please-move on.
You have a life to live.

Hey guys- As anyone that's been following my thread knows my ex fiancé lives 1 1/2 hours from me. This weekend there's a party that my friend wants me to go to that's 5 minutes from my ex's house. Now that its been over 4 months since the break up I wonder if maybe I could handle meeting up for some drinks like she mentioned. I know I probably shouldn't but is there any good out of meeting her or will it just give me a lot more pain?

Judging by all your RECENT posts here, I'd say that is definitely not a good idea. I think you know this already!

NC, buddy.

I know its not but I had to post on here because I had this strong urge to contact her because I'll be so close. I'm thinking even if she did meet it probably wouldn't go good. I was 5 minutes from her house a few weeks ago and I never sent 1 text or drove by or anything. I guess I was just curious to see if she'd try to weasel her way out of seeing me. Please someone talk me out of contacting her when I'm there!

I knew you were going to say that Van haha I guess there would be no good coming out of seeing her then :(

Ask & you shall receive, hehehe...

Yeah, it will only end up hurting & set you back. You are not healed yet.

You gone 4 months, you don't want to destroy any progress you've already made.

Once you are over her & this, then you can consider doing that. But, you may find that you don't even want to at that point.

That's the only reason that I mentioned it- because I'm thinking I may be over things enough where it won't hurt to see her. I'm probably wrong though because if she mentioned a guy that she's seeing or something like that it will kill. Not to mention the last time I texted her back I was kind of mean saying not to send anymore lame guilty/pity texts to me and saying how I think its funny how she's afraid to call me.

I'm probably wrong though because if she mentioned a guy that she's seeing or something like that it will kill.

You have answered your own question. Until you honestly don't care, stay with NC, period.

You have answered your own question. Until you honestly don't care, stay with NC, period.

Thanks Tal- I'm going to listen to your guys advice. Its so tempting to see her because I still miss her but I don't need any more pain right now. That's why I had to post on here today- I need it hammered into my head:cool:

Hey guys- well Christmas came and went now and I never heard from my ex. I guess the text I sent her 3 weeks ago was enough to have her give up on trying to message me. I was kind of upset that I didn't hear from her because I would have liked to know she was thinking of me. I should have assumed I wouldn't have being that I told her her texts were "lame and guilty/pity" texts. Oh well. Was it better that she didn't message me?

Of course man! Try to not even think of her. Don't let one woman have that control, especially one that isn't around.

Yes it was, now you know.

So in another week it will be 5 months from the day I found out it was over for good with my fiancé. I don't know if its because of the holidays or just the winter blues but I have found myself thinking of her still. Is this normal to still be thinking of her a decent amount after almost 5 months? I thought by now I wouldn't think of her much.

What's making it worse is I realize from talking to other girls that I'm still not over her and I'm ruining anything that might come my way and also I still compare everyone to her. Part of me wouldn't mind hearing from her and I'm hurt that there's a chance I may never talk to her again and that's depressing.

There are other things to do besides date girls. Guy fun is still FUN!!

Update- Its been a little over 5 months now since my ex fiancé dumped me suddenly. She keeps texting me and a month ago I told her to stop sending me her lame guilty/pity texts and so I never thought I'd hear from her again.

However last night she texted me again because she wanted to know how I was doing. I didn't want to be nice to her because I knew that would start up a conversation and I don't want any false hope.

I wasn't too nice to her and told her that she should be ashamed of herself for the way she treated me thruout our relationship and told her I hope she doesn't believe in karma. I'm hurt because I still wouldn't mind getting back with her but I dodnt think she has any intentions of that.

Why won't she just go away? Is she just trying to relieve more guilt? I really thought I'd never hear from her after I was rude to her the last time. Is she trying to keep me as her backup? She never gave ANY indication she wants me back whatsoever. I don't want to be rude to her because I once loved her more than anything but don't want to be nice and give myself false hope. I know people say no contact but its just too hard not to respond to her.

Yup guilt.

And you keep playing into it.

If had gone NC, you wouldn't have these questions.

Pretty soon she'll get the message.

What do you mean by pretty soon she'll get the message? Why after 5 months is she still trying to relieve guilt? Was it good how I was rude to her?

Matbe she wants to be your pal, now.

I mean if you go NC & continue to not respond, she will get it.

You already told her not to contact you unless she wants to reconcile.

Don't play this game anymore.

Well she said hey and I said haven't you hurt me enough already and she said I'm really sorry I just wanted to see how you were doing. I said you have to be kidding me- I don't need your guilty.pity texts anymore. When she didn't respond I said that she should be ashamed of herself for what she did to me thruout our relationship... I told her not to contact me unless she wants to get back together 2 months ago but she doesn't listen. I would love to be friends with her but the problem is that I would want more than that and I don't want false hope. Even if I did no contact just her contacting me messes with my head and then I have dreams of her and start thinking about her.

Yeah, I know. Its tough, but worth it in the long run.

You can't be friends until there are no romantic expectations, so what's the point? Don't hang on to false hope or misconstrue why she contacts you. The point is she doesn't want a relationship, so no need to waste any more of your time on this.

There's others out there.

So tell her if she wants to know how your doing , that your doing great until she contacts you , and if she really cared she'd leave you alone.

Yea thanks man... next time I'll just say "please dont contact me unless you wanted to get back together."

So tell her if she wants to know how your doing , that your doing great until she contacts you , and if she really cared she'd leave you alone.

Yea that's a good one- I like that!

Hey everyone- one of my good friends from work (whos a lot older than me) asked me if I heard from my ex at all. I told him how she just recently contacted me again and I told him how I was mean to her so that she'd leave me alone. He told me that he's friends with all his ex'es and that there good to keep around because once in a while all ex'es want booty calls (he said even if there in a relationship they all do this) So does anyone agree with him? Is it good to try to be friends with an ex for booty calls? He said the reason that girls do this is because there comfortable doing it with you because you've already done it a thousand times. This guy is 13 years older that told me this so I don't know- maybe he's right?

The simple answer to that is:NO .
You really need to stick to NC as in do not reply to her messages and get your life back.
It doesn't matter what she does,thinks or says anymore.
It's over,leave her in the past where she belongs.

That's what I've done Amicon- I never called her once or texted her 1st since she dumped me. It would be nice to have her for booty calls but I would just get false hope and she would only be doing it for her pleasure and nothing else.

Its about getting your life back on track now-never mind her. Do not let your breakup define your life.
There is a whole good life out there-go for it.

So the next time she texts me should I just do no contact and not say anything mean anymore? She obviously wants to be friends but I noticed being mean to her hasn't worked and she still keeps trying to contact me... just ignore all her messages I guess?

John-you go no contact and you stay no contact-forever if that's the case-just let it go-ok? When its over,its over,sad as that is, but moving on is a good thing-who knows what we'll find around the next corner? Good night from little old England