My ex and I have been broken up for a week, we really hurt each other both by saying and acting not our age, I'm 25 she's 21.. it was like a week and a half ago she loved me and cared about me and now she just says she's done just abruptly like a total 360, one day goes from saying I love you, good night, to the next day she says I'm done, I don't want to be with you, move on leave me alone, I'm changing my phone number (I knew she wanted a new number already because she switched carriers) but I'm thinking she just doesn't want me to know it. She's blocked me on all instant messengers and social networking sites the only way of means of contacting her is by hand written letter or e-mails. Recently we treated each other bad the past week or two by saying really immature things when stuff was going smooth.. we were actually working it out since we have been broken up since December :( now I know most people say go "No Contact" but it feels like now I have no choice since she's blocked me on everything and I don't even know her new number I'm just so hurt right now and in disbelief. I really love her and care about her and miss her. I've never done "no contact" we've only been together for 10 months and we've done nothing but see and text and call each other, talk online for months, we argued on and off during our "first break up" then when we started treating each other better, appreciating each other things looked good, then one bad night it all crashes ontop of me :( please help what can I do?

I sent her an email saying I apologize for the way I have been and ill always love you and miss you no matter what you think or feel.

She sent me an email back about 4 hours later saying

"I'm sorry for the things I said to you the things I called you, I never meant them. I just hope your serious too when you say the same thing. I'm sorry things had to end like this but it is for the best. I really do wish you the best in life. God Bless."

The "but" really stood out to me. It seems like an insincere apology! It makes me feel like she doesn't know what she's doing or something or is it just me?

I replied with an email and I agreed with her. I said, "You know what? You're absolutely right I agree it is for the best".

What do I do now? Break all contact? Give her space? A month? I mean I already found out that she's been talking to a "friend" and I found out who this friend is and he's a guy she knew in school and he moved 300 miles away. I'm so hurt and worried I have pushed her away for good because when I found out she didn't want to be with me I begged her not to go, I was (text terrorizing) her phone constantly, I was asking if she's seeing this guy or cheating on me by any means (even on the phone).. but she persisted to say "no, i just dont wanna be with you. move on, get over it. you stress me out too much, you annoy me, you irritate me." lately when we argued she'd say "I wanna rip my hair out!! and if we talked online she would always message back in caps lock and freak out on me or yell at me on the phone." then she said "we can't be friends, its too difficult. just leave me alone!!!!" All this happened before she sent me an email saying sorry and all this stuff... And she said "Thanks." when I agreed with her on us being apart is for the best... I mean I already broke my back for her buy buying her things, being sweet, real nice to her, we texted day and night, talked on the phone all the time, this was AFTER our first initial break up and I know that was a big mistake to do that :(

Have I pushed her away for good by all the texting and calling and emailing and saying mean things I fully regret and apologized for in a span of 1-2 days? She sent a threat on myspace saying quit stalking me!! I didn't know confessing my love to her and how much I care and miss her was considered stalking her...

I just don't know what do! I really could use some good advice here... I love her and miss her and I am heartbroken and stunned so bad! :(

I want some honest advice on what you guys think she's going through and what I can do to work things out because I'm not going to reach out to her to make her come back.. I AM willing to give her space... I'm thinking a month or more since all we did during our whole relationship was text 24/7 and call, and see each other all the time..

Help!!

Well, I think it is clear you freaked out because you didn't want to lose her. We have all done that... I did some pretty stupid things to try and prove to my ex I loved her, and NONE of it did any good. Her email was clear, it is OVER. The hardest thing on your mind now is learning to accept that...

I am sorry you are going through this, and we have all been there. Best thing to do is LEAVE HER ALONE... treat this like a death, for right now. Mourn, grieve, do all of that stuff, but she is DEAD to you now. Read the stickies on this forum, and be patient... and brave!

Bottom line, there is nothing you can do. This is over, period, and I am sorry to sound harsh. I realize that you will not be able to have a firm grasp on reality for a LONG time, but coming on this website will eventually be a huge wake up call to you, once you do accept that this is over.

It is also evident from your post that you really didn't seem to have a life outside of her, which is going to make this process even more painful. Get rid of Myspace, or Facebook... NOW!! Get rid of anything that reminds you of her... it is time to build a life around yourself, and around YOUR happiness. She no longer has anything to do with that... a few months from now you will be screaming: FREEDOM!! Until then, this is where the rubber meets the road... this is where you find out who you are.

Sorry, but its over. I know you must be going through some really difficult emotions right now.. it can hurt so much after a breakup. She has already declared her intentions by her actions - not only by breaking up with you but by changing her number, blocking you, etc.

Sadly, there is nothing you can do on your end to make this work - it has to come from her end but that doesn't look likely. Anything you try to do will indeed push her away even further.

What to do now?

Read the stickies at the top of the forum, they will help you. It may take you awhile but you have to accept the situation and come to terms with it. I will tell you right now that this will not be an easy process, but if you have faith in the advice given here you can and will make it through this difficult time.

Please remember you can come here anytime to vent and express your feelings and frustrations and know that you're not alone here.

But she is still e-mailing me! Why would she do that if she wants me to leave her alone?

My ex would call for the next 2 weeks after our break up, strictly to complain! Or make me feel like the bad guy, I eventually stopped answering and worrying about what this meant, or what that meant.

Here is how I looked at things, delete all those e-mails before you read them. She knows where you live, if she wants to get back, she can drive her little a$$ over and tell it to your face. E-mails, texts, phone calls are too impersonal for something like that.

Why? Maybe she feels bad about the situation? Maybe she feels guilty? Maybe she's doing this to put the blame on you? Maybe she is doing what she think she needs to do to make her feel better without realizing that she's giving you false hope? Who the hell knows! And in the end does it really matter?

If she wanted to work things out, she'd come right out and say so. I understand your confusion here - we all go through it. Don't take her desire in wanting to communicate with you still as her wanting you back.

Threads merged and edited


What started as a good solid relationship, slowly just melted away and then the minute my then girlfriend met my older brother who lives in another state, things changed. She began to ignore me, she would then be calling him day and night and they would talk for hours, they would talk online, but they would both say "were just friends"... here's the deal, my older brother is a felon and criminal, he's stuck in this state for the next 4-5 years at least... not to mention he lives with his ex g/f and they both do cocaine... he has committed two counts (found guilty) on identity theft he stole my aunts identity, then his ex gf's mom's identity, all to pay for a trip to Florida, and drugs.

Now, things really got nasty between me and my then girlfriend because my brother has always been a liar and a cheater, now that we are broken up, I have told my ex I'm offended they still talk day and night, he even has her new phone number! Which I do not, she blocked me on myspace yet she talks to my brother... what can I do to just forget about it and not let it get to me? Why do women do this crap they find someone "funny, or nice" she would tell me even my best friend says he's hilarious blah freakn blah... it just made me so angry and I would lose control of my anger and take it out on my ex who was my g/f all the time. Why would she do this? I mean there were so many nights she would say "hey im tired im gonna go to bed" and I would say okay... but then I got suspicious of things and found some website where you can find out if someone is online on Yahoo or not... and a lot of times she would be invisible, my brother too. Is there something wrong with me? I mean she's freaked out at me and said just because I'm not with you doesn't mean , me and your brother are friends, all you do is cut him down blah blah, you say you love him, you don't love him.

I HATE her.. and the fact that she's standing up for my brother, a guy who's done nothing but lie, cheat, steal his whole life... and my whole family hates him, we've all given him chances but yet my ex is practically obsessed with him!! Because he's "nice and funny"... the problem is, him and her have made me out to be the bad guy... and I'm not, my older bro has always been the bad guy, I don't lie, I don't cheat, I don't steal from people.

What can I do to get over this?? It's extremely uncomfortable and awkward for me! Here I am broken up with my ex but her and my older brother are obsessed with each other! He's 400 flippin miles away! It hurts so bad and I don't know how to control it.. all I can think about is how they flirt with each other and be all cute and crap... then my brother ignores me, she ignores me, and I'm the bad guy who gets pushed away.

What can I do to stop this?! It's like when I tell her he's not that great of a person, it blows up in my face and she disagrees! And then he lies and says "im done talking to her" nope, he's not done, they still talk.

How can I let this go? I've talked to both of them and told them its not right. But they just ignore me. I've asked her out of respect that if she's done with me she needs to leave him alone too because I don't want any kind of connection with my ex. It's like what if my brother somehow gets to leave that state and then come back here... Idk what I'd do if I saw her and him hanging out as "friends".

I'm to the point of just forgetting about it. They hurt me and don't even care. Neither one of them do, like my brother could care less about me and it seems that its rubbed off onto my ex too... I think my brother had an influence on her breaking up with me because they would talk bad about me behind my back constantly, he would feed her lies and then call me a liar?? I just don't get it... I've helped my bro, I bailed him out from going back to jail once and this is what I get in return? A knife in the back??

And after all the moments I shared with my ex this is what I get? Just our relationship ending out of no where, and her becoming a really cold hearted individual, like she just... ugh!! She changed in a span of a few days and its like I'm the DEVIL to her or something.

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to control my emotions?? I've told my ex's friends and her older brother that they need to talk to her and tell her that its not okay to be doing this because she has to let go of my brother too since she did to me!

Help!

Someone like your ex who's wishes too associate with your brother.. geez I would be glad to get rid of her...

If your brother is as bad as you say, then your ex is obviously not too bright and not someone who I would be considering a future with...

When you have agirlfriend you can sometimes become lost, you must look further tha just her and a lot of the time a persons friends and who they associate with will tell you a whole lot about them.

Thank god you found ths out now... Let her go completely, she is only interested in yor brother cause he is unreachable being so far away... Girls love what they canthave...

Be thankful she's goone, I would be and I am and I don't even know her.. sounds like a loser to me...

And stop whimpering there are way better girls than that!!

Does anyone have any advice on what I can do to control my emotions??

Have you read the stickies at the beginning of this forum? There is a link in my signature. Use it and gain some insights from others who have and are going through the same process as you are. There are no magic pills or quick fixes, but coping with your feelings in a positive way that works for you is the key.

Let go of things you cannot control. ( the actions of others ) and control what you can (your actions )

Ok guys, so I've done no contact for a while now, here's some updates. I've had this kind of acquaintance type friend that I'm actually now dating and having fun with. I'm doing things to clean up my act, going to school, buying a new car, teeth whitening, working out, quitting smoking, changing my attitude and perspective on life. My ex just so happens to send me a long message on MySpace and I read it but did not reply. She told me I should have just given her "space" and not do what I did by acting immature and treating her bad and vice versa, she said she had a poem written out for me and wanted to surprise me by taking me back. Now she's confessing her love and actually said she thinks she might be pregnant too and that it's not a lie to get me back or to talk to her. She's worried now and says she will get a pregnancy test done. I believe her because we did have sex about almost 3 weeks ago. I haven't talked to her in nearly 2 weeks and counting. But she knows I'm seeing someone else and doesn't like it. She said I LOVE YOU! And that she's sorry for everything and said "I forgive you for everything. Life's too short to have hate or be pissed off all the time."

So now what do I do? She said she does want to be with me but we never took time apart to think about things and she said she's been doing a lot of thinking lately. Even though her mother, all friends and family don't like me she said she doesn't care and that she misses me and loves me.