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6969
Aug 9, 2008, 05:02 PM
So I've been having sex for about 7 yrs and I can only have an orgasm by masturbating, and only by masturbating on my stomach with a vibrator or dildo under me or something else hard. Any suggestions on another way? I've tried a lot of other things like shower heads, fingering,oral sex, etc and they get me hot and turn me on but it just doesn't get me off. Is this odd?

IntroducingEmy
Aug 9, 2008, 10:38 PM
It's the vibrating curse! It's very common for people to use vibrators right out of the starting gate and then their bodies will only respond to those. I recommend putting up the toys and stopping the sexual activity for awhile. What you'll want to do is starve your body of orgasms for awhile and start retraining your body to respond to a variety of different things, starting small and gentle and then working your way back up to toys.

It's not so much that your body will only get off to the toys; it's your brain saying, "You have to do it in such a way or I will not let you have an orgasm." Trust me, after you retrain yourself, you'll be doing all kinds of fun new things!

Choux
Aug 10, 2008, 11:38 AM
No, it is not unusual.

The world of sensuality and orgasmic bliss is a complicated and highly sophisticated for women... especially American women who are subject to all kinds of misinformation from religion, their parents, the culture, friends, media... from everywhere!

You have to consider yourself at step one of female sexuality... a machine is doing the job for you that should in many cases be done by your brain.

If you want to put in the time and effort to fully develop your sexuality or at least develop yourself from where you are now, it will take time and knowledge and action.

Put your vibrator away, and get a beginner's book on sexual fantasies and whatever...

My very best wishes. :)

Synnen
Aug 10, 2008, 08:58 PM
"A vibrator or some hard object"

That is NOT stating she can only get off by vibrator---it's stating she can only get off in one position, with specific stimulation.

I don't know what the answer here is. If you had said that you were only able to orgasm from one position during sex, most people would have responded with "That happens for a lot of women--they're only able to get off when on top" or some such answer.

But because it's during masturbation, people seem to be giving you the answer that there's something wrong with you--which I don't believe is true.

In my opinion--try the same position, but different stimulation. Instead of a vibrator or dildo or something hard... try your fingers, or a pillow or something, but in the same position as usual. After that, work up to other positions. It really is a brain thing--and it's a "surrender" thing. You have to lose control, even if you're only losing control of yourself and not to someone else.