I really really believe that we all have to learn our lessons on our own first hand.. yes, people can give advice, but it really comes down to us learning through our own experiences.. sooo.. don't feel guilty guys when you break the no contact, it's all a learning process

My ex and I are "talking" now, not sure if it's good, not sure if I'm going to get burned in the end, but it helps to know that all of you here are going through the same kind of things.. and that no matter what happens I'll be OK and I have support through my friends, family and you guys.

I was doing well- 2 weeks of NC and I was OK until my ex text me, and said things to me after arguing like, "you're the best thing to ever happen to me", only to tell me the next day to move on and maybe get a new boyfriend. *SIGH* back to square one emotionally, I felt so happy but it was false hope. NC starts all over again. DAY 1. :(

You're not starting over emotionally.. it's all about the process.. sure you're going to feel really crappy for the next couple of days, but you will feel better again, and sooner then the first time.. don't be hard on yourself and know that everyday that goes by even if you contact them or not is one step closer to your healing.

Thank you x

Jiltedgirl
NNG
Classicrocker
Hjpan and all others thanks for all of your support. It does seem that NC is a process. It seems that NC for many of us happens over time. We seem to have periods of NC and then we have relapse and start all over again. I am thankful that all you guys are here.

Jiltedgirl
NNG
Classicrocker
Hjpan and all others thanks for all of your support. It does seem that NC is a process. It seems that NC for many of us happens over time. We seem to have periods of NC and then we have relapse and start all over again. I am thankful that all you guys are here.

Not at all. I am looking forward to get my education and training so I can start having 5 figure income :D

Plonak and Blade it is good to see you guys.

Hjpan go for dude. 5 figures would be good indeed.

Guess we're all in this together

X

Plonak and Blade it is good to see you guys.

Hjpan go for dude. 5 figures would be good indeed.

Especially when I'm going to become 2nd year as university student.. LoL

Yep~ I need to work hard to achieve :)

@every1 else: hit the beaches :)~ guarantee there are hotties =]!

:( I'm feeling really down today. I have the urge to keep our correspondence going, but I haven't because I need to let go of the hope and possibility that we will be anything more than friends when we get back to school this fall. He told me himself that he didn't want to "give me any hope" so I was okay with us being done. I didn't hold onto any hope. But, him telling me to visit him and that the summer won't have seemed that long or a big deal when we see each other again in the fall has made me dangerously hope again.

I think I kept responding before because in a small way, I wanted him to follow through with the bs he fed me. I didn't want him to forget about me. Feelings are so fickle. For all I know, he could find someone else and so could I, if I was looking. As a result, now I'm even MORE adamant to stay with NC. I'm not off to very good start. I've been moping around, unable to do any work. I know it'll pass and I'll get over it, but it just really sucks right now.

I saw that he's planning to take a trip somewhere and it hurt that he was "too busy with work" to want a relationship with me, yet he has time to jet off somewhere for fun.

:( I'm feeling really down today. I have the urge to keep our correspondence going, but I haven't because I need to let go of the hope and possibility that we will be anything more than friends when we get back to school this fall. He told me himself that he didn't want to "give me any hope" so I was okay with us being done. I didn't hold onto any hope. But, him telling me to visit him and that the summer wont have seemed that long or a big deal when we see each other again in the fall has made me dangerously hope again.

I think I kept responding before because in a small way, I wanted him to follow through with the bs he fed me. I didn't want him to forget about me. Feelings are so fickle. For all I know, he could find someone else and so could I, if I was looking. As a result, now I'm even MORE adamant to stay with NC. I'm not off to very good start. I've been moping around, unable to do any work. I know it'll pass and I'll get over it, but it just really sucks right now.

I saw that he's planning to take a trip somewhere and it hurt that he was "too busy with work" to want a relationship with me, yet he has time to jet off somewhere for fun.

Go to his work place with a new boyfriend :D?

Go to his work place with a new boyfriend :D?

Hahaha. I wish.. :rolleyes:.. but that's not a nice thing to do. Man, I don't even know why I like that stupid idiot. Oh well...

:( I'm feeling really down today. I have the urge to keep our correspondence going, but I haven't because I need to let go of the hope and possibility that we will be anything more than friends when we get back to school this fall. He told me himself that he didn't want to "give me any hope" so I was okay with us being done. I didn't hold onto any hope. But, him telling me to visit him and that the summer wont have seemed that long or a big deal when we see each other again in the fall has made me dangerously hope again.

I think I kept responding before because in a small way, I wanted him to follow through with the bs he fed me. I didn't want him to forget about me. Feelings are so fickle. For all I know, he could find someone else and so could I, if I was looking. As a result, now I'm even MORE adamant to stay with NC. I'm not off to very good start. I've been moping around, unable to do any work. I know it'll pass and I'll get over it, but it just really sucks right now.

I saw that he's planning to take a trip somewhere and it hurt that he was "too busy with work" to want a relationship with me, yet he has time to jet off somewhere for fun.


Hi Jilted. Hope is a killer. I too am going through the same thing. I am meant to meet my ex next week. I was miserable during almost 2 weeks of NC but I felt I was making progress. Now that she and I have been e-mailing and have talked a couple of times over the past 3 weeks I again have hope.

NC is best I guess but it is not easy. I hope things get better for you.

hahaha. i wish..:rolleyes:..but that's not a nice thing to do. man, i don't even know why i like that stupid idiot. oh well...

Hahaha~

hahaha. i wish..:rolleyes:..but that's not a nice thing to do. man, i don't even know why i like that stupid idiot. oh well...

Hahaha~
Well, just remember you can "guilt-trip" your ex since he's guilt-tripping you

Hey guys, so while I was sleeping last night, my ex called me at like 1 in the morning. At first I didn't even get up to check my phone but then later on I checked my cell and I recognized her number. She called the second time around and I ignored the call.

I have no idea what's going on with her, but clearly when she mentioned that she wouldn't message/call me anymore, it was a lie.
Maybe she got into a fight with her boyfriend etc I unno but I isn't going to be a doormat

hey guys, so while i was sleeping last night, my ex called me at like 1 in the morning. At first i didnt even get up to check my phone but then later on i checked my cell and i recognized her number. She called the second time around and i ignored the call.

I have no idea what's going on with her, but clearly when she mentioned that she wouldnt message/call me anymore, it was a lie.
Maybe she got into a fight with her bf etc i unno but i aint gonna be a doormat

Hey spion... keep it up!

I responded to the ex and no reply. :mad: I'm really disappointed in myself. I'm trying though!

All right, So, I haven't talked to her for a month or so I'd guess. I'm not really sure, it's been a while. We've avoided each other but today she comes in for businesses purposes and we are just making random chit chat about nothing. Then out of the blue she says, "my sister said to tell you hello." I thought that strange since we don't even talk anymore and further that meant I had to come up in conversation at some point. So I just said "tell her hello back." Then she says jokingly but still oddly, "Oh so your cheating on me with my own sister, that's sick." I just said, "Well she's been wanting me for a long time, why not give it to her." Again this was joking and she drops her jaw and gives me this strange look. She then wished me a good weekend and that was it.

Jilted do not be too hard on yourself. I am still hoping to see my ex next week.

Alright, So, I haven't talked to her for a month or so I'd guess. I'm not really sure, it's been a while. We've avoided each other but today she comes in for businesses purposes and we are just making random chit chat about nothing. Then out of the blue she says, "my sister said to tell you hello." I thought that strange since we don't even talk anymore and further that meant I had to come up in conversation at some point. So I just said "tell her hello back." Then she says jokingly but still oddly, "Oh so your cheating on me with my own sister, that's sick." I just said, "Well she's been wanting me for a long time, why not give it to her." Again this was joking and she drops her jaw and gives me this strange look. She then wished me a good weekend and that was it.

One word my friend

Women

one word my friend

Women

Ain't that the truth.

jilted do not be too hard on yourself. I am still hoping to see my ex next week.

Thanks f10~! :) I really appreciate it and hope all goes well with your ex. Update me on what goes down.

At this very moment, I just don't want to care anymore. What sucks is that before I wanted to visit the city (where he is right now) because I genuinely wanted to visit my friends. Now there's another hidden incentive.. so that I can meet up with him (DANGER! ). So I think I may not visit my friends anymore. I don't want the temptation to be there AT ALL. At least I can't contact him anyway once I were to get there. I deleted his number from my cell long ago. (:D Clearly, the one smart thing that I've done! Haha)

I reeeaaally need to drive home the fact that he wants to be friends and nothing more. He only responded to me because he was bored and had nothing better to do. Instead of wondering, I need to accept this reality.

Thanks f10~!! :) I really appreciate it and hope all goes well with your ex. Update me on what goes down.

At this very moment, I just don't want to care anymore. What sucks is that before I wanted to visit the city (where he is right now) because I genuinely wanted to visit my friends. Now there's another hidden incentive..so that I can meet up with him (DANGER!!). So I think I may not visit my friends anymore. I don't want the temptation to be there AT ALL. At least I can't contact him anyway once I were to get there. I deleted his number from my cell long ago. (:D Clearly, the one smart thing that I've done! haha)

I reeeaaally need to drive home the fact that he wants to be friends and nothing more. He only responded to me because he was bored and had nothing better to do. Instead of wondering, I need to accept this reality.

One word

Men lol

one word

Men lol

Ain't that the truth.

Alright, So, I haven't talked to her for a month or so I'd guess. I'm not really sure, it's been a while. We've avoided each other but today she comes in for businesses purposes and we are just making random chit chat about nothing. Then out of the blue she says, "my sister said to tell you hello." I thought that strange since we don't even talk anymore and further that meant I had to come up in conversation at some point. So I just said "tell her hello back." Then she says jokingly but still oddly, "Oh so your cheating on me with my own sister, that's sick." I just said, "Well she's been wanting me for a long time, why not give it to her." Again this was joking and she drops her jaw and gives me this strange look. She then wished me a good weekend and that was it.

Your ex got pwned :)

Ain't that the truth.

Men suck. They never know what they want. Then again... does anyone until they're in danger of losing that someone?

Men suck. They never know what they want. Then again...does anyone until they're in danger of losing that someone?

Girls suck too. MY ex does not know what she wants from me...

:( Yes, that was what I was basically getting at. WE--PEOPLE--ALL SUCK. Lol.

So its been 6-7 months? Since the break-up... last contact was during spring break... had a nice 3 hour talk over pie, it felt like I was over her... and I really think I am. But recently I've been thinking about her nonstop... I thought it was just a rough few days, those few days turned into a week, and that week has turned into 2 weeks... I try to stay busy.. but when I am busy I think about how I'm not thinking about her, and then I think about her again.

I know in my mind that its over and done with, but I can't help but think we'll see each other again... maybe its just false hope creeping back in. I just don't get it... I've done everything I could do to get her out, I have 2 jobs for the summer, I've been dating... but nobody really does it for me, y'know?

Is it messed up that pretending to tell her the things I've been doing make me feel better? I'm not exactly talking to myself, but rehearsing what I would say to her... I don't know, it just sucks.

So its been 6-7 months? since the break-up... last contact was during spring break... had a nice 3 hour talk over pie, it felt like i was over her... and i really think i am. but recently i've been thinking about her nonstop... i thought it was just a rough few days, those few days turned into a week, and that week has turned into 2 weeks... i try to stay busy.. but when i am busy i think about how im not thinking about her, and then i think about her again.

i know in my mind that its over and done with, but i can't help but think we'll see each other again... maybe its just false hope creeping back in. i just dont get it... i've done everything i could do to get her out, i have 2 jobs for the summer, i've been dating... but nobody really does it for me, y'know?

is it messed up that pretending to tell her the things i've been doing make me feel better? im not exactly talking to myself, but rehearsing what i would say to her... i dunno, it just sucks.

Same boat here...

it's because the emotions we put through with our ex..

For me, I chose to have sex with my ex when we were dating (even though it was against religious rules) because I thought our relationship would be glued for a while... turns out a year later, I get dumped.

:( Yes, that was what I was basically getting at. WE--PEOPLE--ALL SUCK. lol.

It's true we all do suck!:)

It's true we all do suck!:)

So we should think of alternative solutions that we don't suck

So we should think of alternative solutions that we don't suck

True story, I was driving through Wisconsin about a year and half ago, and there was some story on the radio about a guy that was arrestted for having sex with a dead dear on the side of the road. If it's good enough for the people of Wisconsin it's good enough for... you know what, I think we should just stick to getting dumped by humans.

Hey guys.. im having a moment of weakness... I just had a epiphany.. I was looking back at my entire break up and her new boyfriend and realized something.

He wanted to get into her pants less than a week after the break up. She was a virgin with me because we both wanted it that way. Now I have a gut feeling that she isn't anymore... I don't know why but I feeel this way..

It just goes to show how people have changed in such a short span of time

hey guys..im having a moment of weakness...i just had a epiphany..i was looking back at my entire break up and her new bf and realized something.

he wanted to get into her pants less than a week after the break up. She was a virgin with me because we both wanted it that way. Now i have a gut feeling that she isnt anymore...i dont know why but i feeel this way..

it just goes to show how ppl have changed in such a short span of time

He wanted to get into her pants or he did? I want to get into Halle Berry's but I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. Only because we'ver never met, not that I couldn't. Let's be honest here, I am the Chuffster. Is you gut feeling based on something he's saying because people tend to make stuff up. Furthermore, what does that say about the two of you? To me it says one person can keep there word and the other one is her. Look at the positives here, you are honest, she's not, your words have value she does not.

He wanted to get into her pants but she wasn't too comfortable. I think now, after 3 months.. I have that feeling that he has. I know she is not honest, and it also makes me lose even more respect for her. It's not based on what anyone has said, it's something that just hit me. It's a strong feeling.

he wanted to get into her pants but she wasnt too comfortable. I think now, after 3 months..i have that feeling that he has. I know she is not honest, and it also makes me lose even more respect for her. It's not based on what anyone has said, it's something that just hit me. It's a strong feeling.

I guess what I'm saying though, isn't this something you could turn around and look as a positive for yourself and not as something that you should be upset about. You were a man, you held onto your word.

he wanted to get into her pants but she wasnt too comfortable. I think now, after 3 months..i have that feeling that he has. I know she is not honest, and it also makes me lose even more respect for her. It's not based on what anyone has said, it's something that just hit me. It's a strong feeling.

Another thing to consider:

A feeling is a feeling, no matter how strong. You have no proof, just a gut intuition which has no base. Don't jump to conclusions...

True story, I was driving through Wisconsin about a year and half ago, and there was some story on the radio about a guy that was arrestted for having sex with a dead dear on the side of the road. If it's good enough for the people of Wisconsin it's good enough for..............you know what, I think we should just stick to getting dumped by humans.

My plan for solution is to work and study hard... get my hands-on-training so I can work at a hospital and study as part-time student.

he wanted to get into her pants but she wasnt too comfortable. I think now, after 3 months..i have that feeling that he has. I know she is not honest, and it also makes me lose even more respect for her. It's not based on what anyone has said, it's something that just hit me. It's a strong feeling.

I will definitely laugh if he leaves her within a year.

As for you, spion_kop, focus your mind on other stuff.. I have the same problem too. My ex told me her new guy-friend tried to get some, but she said she did not give in. I really don't care as much anymore.... I am looking forward to work hard to pass university and work at a hospital as an assistant.

Pretty good deal?I think so... one year income is about 20k-30k for a 20 year old student

I hear what you're saying big bird and chuff. I know that it isn't my life and that she can do wahtever she wants. But this just shows the person that she has become if it did happen. I'm not jumping onto any conclusions because hey people are sexually active these days.

All that was bothering me was the person that she has become now after all that we've done together. For me, it shows the character that I possess where I know my morals and values. For her, I guess it's about living in the moment and not caring about the consequences that may occur tomorrow

i hear what you're saying big bird and chuff. I know that it isnt my life and that she can do wahtever she wants. But this just shows the person that she has become if it did happen. I'm not jumping onto any conclusions because hey ppl are sexually active these days.

All that was bothering me was the person that she has become now after all that we've done together. For me, it shows the character that i possess where I know my morals and values. For her, i guess it's about living in the moment and not caring about the consequences that may occur tomorrow

There you go :)

You know what you want to do the next day or in the future.
Your ex only knows what happens TODAY for her.

Its 4AM... I'm drunk and I sent my ex a text... even out of it, I regret it... I wish so bad that there wasn't a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

I can't believe I did that! Should have left my phone home. Should not have gotten wasted. And now I can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but I know she won't say anything...

I'm such a mess...

its 4AM... im drunk and i sent my ex a text... even out of it, i regret it... i wish so bad that there wasnt a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

i can't believe i did that! should have left my phone home. should not have gotten wasted. and now i can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but i know she wont say anything...

im such a mess...


I am too. I have been up for over 24 hours. I too am missing my ex. It all sucks.

I hear you westy and f104. I too indulged a bit too much last night and had the feelings of wanting to reach out to my ex.. but then I reminded myself that its not HIM I miss. It's a relationship I miss. Its having someone to love that I miss. Not him. Next time you feel like that, just remind yourself that.

Don't kick yourself too much about it now. What's done is done. It was just a hiccup. Keep going with NC.

its 4AM... im drunk and i sent my ex a text... even out of it, i regret it... i wish so bad that there wasnt a break in the conversation tonight to give me the time to text "i miss you" to my ex...

i can't believe i did that! should have left my phone home. should not have gotten wasted. and now i can't help but hope that she text back that she misses me... but i know she wont say anything...

im such a mess...

Take a breath and calm down westy - its nothing that you can't move on from, like any other hiccup in the NC road. The most important step now is that you learn from what happened and make sure that you don't repeat your old mistakes.

It might help to try and convince yourself that you won't be getting a response either. How long has it been since you last talked to her?

Let's all hit the beaches and meet new girls?

I'm going to focus my mind on what I NEED TO DO AND THAT IS UNIVERSITY & ADVANCED TRAINING

Last time I talked to her was in march, during spring break...

Funny thing is... I feel fine now... hungover, but fine.

I don't expect a response, in fact I'm just going to pretend I never said anything.

And the thing is losingit... is that I really do miss her, not the relationship. I could get into another relationship tomorrow if I really wanted to (not to sound arrogant, but I know a few girls) its just that none of the other girls I have been seeing float my boat. I try my hardest not to compare them to my ex, but its hard not to.

Anyway, I just don't feel like putting forth the effort into a new girl just yet, and I don't know when I will.

But yeah, I know she won't respond, so why wait for it... ill get over this.

Glad to hear your feeling better West, was probably just the alcohol talking yesterday...

Had an "almost" hiccup today. Nothing really, but a friend of my ex (she went to school with him) sent me an IM today and was just seeing how I was, I met him once. Then he was telling me that he didn't understand why my ex didn't want to hang out with him when he was in the state last week or something (she doesn't really like the kid, he's annoying).

Anyway, all he did was mention her name and it got my heart to drop a little bit. Not sure why, I'm fine now (5 minutes later) but it got me going for some reason.

Its funny how I can talk about her on my terms and be fine, but when the conversation turns to her and its out of my control, I get a little panicky... I guess that's just more proof that I have some ways to go. Glad nothing heavy was said.

The thing that I've noticed is that my ex only gets my thoughts when I'm feeling lonely, upset, or a little depressed... she only gets me when I'm feeling my worst. And that is what keeps me going... because when I'm feeling great, what she did to me disgusts me to no end... I don't hate her for it, but she's not someone I would want to hang out with.

Amazing how time changes these things. You start to get to a stage of indifference about the entire thing. I still find it amazing how the littlest mention can have you pretty afraid though, at least me. Not that anything bad has to happen, but just the though of being in that perilous situation can get my heart going...

Amazing how time changes these things. You start to get to a stage of indifference about the entire thing. I still find it amazing how the littlest mention can have you pretty afraid though, at least me. Not that anything bad has to happen, but just the though of being in that perilous situation can get my heart going....

I remember that stage quite well. It sucks... I've noticed that I've started to get that horrible feeling when it comes to this ex as well. One mention or one message from them to you and your heart starts beating uncontrollably and this horrible sense of dread and anticipation fills you up. :(

Hi guys today is exactly one month since I saw my ex last. I was doing quite well for the first 11 days. I was going through the NC thing and working through me emotions. Don't get me wrong it sucked. I was in tears every day. Since then she and I have been back in contact. We have yet to see one another but it is emotionally draining. Supposedly we will meet this week but I am not going to hold my breath.

I still get those feelings that "there is nobody else in the world as great as she is." Man I wish we could get over relationships in less than 24 hours.

Well, I feel queasy when I talk about my ex. It's unavoidable cause my family members and friends knew I was dating... LoL

Yeah, its been over 2 months since we saw each other and a little over a month since we last spoke. Doing really well actually. The thing that absolutely makes it easier is not talking/seeing them. Every once in a while, I think "hey, wonder what he's up to?" But I know in reality, I really don't want to know. It's a lot easier to just disappear from their lives and let them disappear from yours then still still have even the slightest involvement with theirs. I can talk about him now without my eyes watering up so I guess that's a good thing.

Yeah, its been over 2 months since we saw each other and a little over a month since we last spoke. Doing really well actually. The thing that absolutely makes it easier is not talking/seeing them. Every once in a while, I think "hey, wonder what he's up to?" But I know in reality, i really don't want to know. Its a lot easier to just disappear from their lives and let them disappear from yours then still still have even the slightest involvement with theirs. I can talk about him now without my eyes watering up so i guess that's a good thing.

I'm glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of ourselves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what I'm saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.

I concur wholeheartedly with the above. We'll make it. That much I know and that is what will keep me going strong.

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.
LOl... This is good stuff classicrocker... I wish I found this site a long time ago... I thought I was the only softy out here who nailed himself to the floor when his soul got stamped on... Best wishes to you losing it.

im glad to see your doing good losing it! I have been thinking today about this road to recovery we're all on. Its not an easy or short road to travel. When you first step out onto this highway its dark, you can see for miles down it not seeing any light at the end. For the first couple miles were hitchhiking with anyone who'll pick us up and help take us further down this road, with signs such as No Contact straight ahead. Hope-3 miles. Promised Land-in due time. We all reach some this "light" at our own time. The road is bumpy far from smooth and sometimes we catch a glimps of our selves in passing cars going back after reaching no contact. But the great thing about it is that when we start travleing back to No Contact and we see the places and faces were we let that no contact break, WE HALL past it not looking back. I guess what im saying it lets just keep cruising on this highway.


I like this. Very well put and full of hope!

How's everyone doing today?

Been a while now, not counting, don't care - how I feel is the only thing that matters, not how long or short it has been :)

Feeling good lately, keeping real busy definitely helps a ton. Been going out and trying to meet new people. Its funny because I don't miss her as much as I just don't want to hear about her being happy. Not sure why, but I think over the past week or so I am becoming rapidly detached from her. My emotions feel like they are finally just fading out.

I still wish I could hear about her and not be upset at all, but I'm just not there. I sometimes feel like I'm a little behind since I can't ask about her - or I am embarrassed that people might think that me not being able to hear about her and what she is doing is a sign of weakness.

It would be very easy for me to ask people about her and find things out - and I just hope that by telling them I don't want to know, or choosing not to ask, doesn't make me seem weak.

Bigbird that sounds like progress to me mate. Good for you. I agree that keeping busy and spending time with people is important.

Same here BB213

I'm actually focusing myself on English at community college...
Yes, there are SEVERAL SMOKING girls but I kept my mind off of girls...

It would be very easy for me to ask people about her and find things out - and I just hope that by telling them I don't want to know, or choosing not to ask, doesn't make me seem weak.

You don't come across weak at all. Everyone has gone through a breakup at one time or another. People understand. :cool:

I am doing better. I never really responded to the ex's Facebook message, in which he wrote that he was confused. Instead, I sent him a dead face. I didn't feel much like responding with words anymore. Words are so overrated anyway.:rolleyes:

I hope everyone else is doing all right?

I am nearing a week of NC. Right now its so bad, that only going back and talking again (regardless of negative or positive outcome) is going to help. Other than that I'm pretty much done, dettached, disinterested in him. Really, I don't care, it doesn't matter, doesn't concern me. Still, NC hurts bad but its just a feeling,that will go away eventually. Sigh, its messing up my study routine.

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are all doing well today. Tomorrow, I am flying to GA to see my ex. Oh boy, I hope it goes well.

Well I was doing good 3 days in a row.. lol it was birthday as well so he (he dumped me) made the last text of saying happy birthday... I texted yesterday & we spoke... I want to make it to a week of NC.. its hard because I want to be his friend because he is going through a bad time... he is aborderline alcoholic which is why the relationship was falling apart...

well i was doing good 3 days in a row..lol it was bday as well so he (he dumped me) made the last text of saying happy bday.... i texted yesterday & we spoke... i want to make it to a week of NC..its hard b/c i want to be his friend b/c he is going thru a bad time...he is aborderline alcoholic which is y the relationship was falling apart....

Birthdays are a little bit tough...

I didn't send my ex anything on her birthday, almost a month ago now, and her sister knew that I didn't send her anything on her birthday. That made me wonder for a little while about if I upset her by doing that, or if she was expecting it or not. I still wonder from time to time, but we need to realize that it isn't our responsibility whether we are upsetting them.

I still care about upsetting her for some weird reason, I guess its just the nice guy syndrome??

I understand what you mean because my ex wrote me a text saying how come I did not wish him a happy 4th but in my head I am like "i am trying to get over u" buddy... I was going out w/my friends & having a good time. Though he broke up w/me I am happy he did because I was not strong enough to break it off which is why I feel at peace however the feeling of familiarity of hearing from him or getting nice texts from him is what I miss

But NC is very hard to do plus I am very emotional & I went through the bag stage last week we said mean things to each other because I was very mad@him because we broke up because he told me because of all the fights I made he was not in love w/me no more... which hurt a lot but trying to move passed it

Going on 13 months since I last was with anyone. My ex has moved on to bigger and better things, and I seem to be in limbo. She's on TV. I'm on the couch, how metaphorically tragic can you get? It wears me down. But I keep going. Having no one to turn to or to talk to, I keep going everyday.

I haven't broken down yet. Which is a big, big step forward. If I don't go down today I know it will be easier tomorrow.

I havent broken down yet. Which is a big, big step forward. If i dont go down today i know it will be easier tomorrow.

Bravo for that view point. One day at a time bud.

Starlite I wish you all the best with your meeting with the ex. After a month of games I think I am finally starting to move on from my ex.

A friend of mine says it takes half the length of time of the relationship until we can move on after a breakup. I am starting to think that maybe correct. Thank God I was not with my ex any longer than a few months!

Jilted good to hear you are doing better.

Enigmatic sounds like you are in pain friend. I feel for you and that must be hard having to see your ex on the telly.

I think that time is the only real healer and if one is unable to go directly to NC then that is at least a worthy goal. I would also recommend being careful of the advice of friends.

One of the excuses I used to break NC was due to the words of my friends and family members. Still friends are only trying to help and generally speaking they are vital to getting through a breakup.

For me some days are better than others. I doubt if I would even respond to an e-mail, text or phone message. I am beginning to realize the only I can move on is to let go. Do not get me wrong my ex is an amazing woman and she always will be, but for to think I can do no better or that there are no other women out there as wonderful as her is arrogant and most likely untrue.

Thanks to all of you for being here. I am sure over time we will slowly drift away from this site as finally meet that person who will love us just as much as we love them. Take care I am off to get a tat!

I went 6 days with no contact and broke down yesterday and called her. Wasn't too bad but things are still awkward between me and her, so my next goal is going to be 21 days!

My NC is 2 weeks now... still see-sawing..

I think I'm past the one-week-NC-milestone! Sounds kind of pathetic, but I'm still happy I made it.

Hey a week of NC is an accomplishment I had to start all over again because we had contact on Monday so hoping to get through this week w/NC...

Today IS easier. Really, I feel great. No missing him, no crying. I still keep mentaly talking to him though and that's going to stop real soon. Looks like I'm going to enter week 2 of NC. Horay!

Today IS easier! I'm entering week 2 of NC! Hooray!

Today was day 9 NC. She had texted me a few days ago- "Some days are harder than others", which made me think she misses me and threw me for a loop. I ended up emailing her today. Stupid, but I was going crazy.

Today was day 9 NC. She had texted me a few days ago- "Some days are harder than others", which made me think she misses me and threw me for a loop. I ended up emailing her today. Stupid, but I was going crazy.

Life is all about making mistakes and learning from them. The best lessons we learn are often the most painful mistakes to make. It will be tough in the beginning, but it will get easier. It is obviously tough for her, and I'm sure she misses you, but that doesn't mean that it is the wrong thing to do.

When is the right thing to do ever the easiest??

Aye bigbird the right thing is seldom the easiest thing to do.

Oh so true. :)

Yaaaay I just found out my ex was sleeping with a THIRD person behind my back. I wonder how many there really was. I had to break NC to, I just had to let him know I knew. Not a response, not an apology nothing. Words can't descrive how I feel. :(

Ah, boris... telling him how you knew wouldn't help the situation... you know that.

Just let it stew... let it stew...

Just kidding. I'm sorry you feel that bad. But hey, keep up the NC, and keep your head up. Things do get better.

Ugh >_< sorry, boris. What a mther ***** *****. (excuse my french) just continue the NC away from him, his infidelities, and all his crap.


Oh and hello sneeze! Long time no see. How art thou? :)

I'm doing all right... crapping my pants, however. Mcats in a month

ISneezeFunny good luck on the mcats, I recently started thinking about taking them myself.Cheers!

In other news, yesterday was a win for me, today - still feeling fine and strong. I finally broke my plateau! Over one week of NC!

Go you kaneda!

Reach for that 4 week mark... the rest is a joke.

Ps - I love your nonchalant way: I... MIGHT take the mcats...

Love it.

Sneezy, you probably already know all this, but this link is for you, just in case you need some guidance.

AAMC: MCAT: About the MCAT (http://www.aamc.org/students/mcat/about/start.htm)

Haha, thanks alty. Yep. I actually have the admissions packet on my desk... along with 341 other papers.

Yaaaay I just found out my ex was sleeping with a THIRD person behind my back. I wonder how many there really was. I had to break NC to, I just had to let him know I knew. Not a response, not an apology nothing. Words can't descrive how I feel. :(


What a douche.

I hope he gets beat up some day when a girls' boyfriend finds out your ex has been sleeping around

I'm doing alright...crapping my pants, however. mcats in a month

Jesus. H.:eek: Christ.

Good luck with that, dude.

Thanks jilted.

In case you were curious, that H in Jesus H Christ...

The Etymology of Jesus H. Christ (http://www.christianorigins.com/etymology.html)

But in my book, it's Han. Jesus Han Christ.. . apparently he was asian of some sort.

Thanks jilted.

In case you were curious, that H in Jesus H Christ...

The Etymology of Jesus H. Christ (http://www.christianorigins.com/etymology.html)

but in my book, it's Han. Jesus Han Christ. ...apparently he was asian of some sort.

Hah- well, what do you know. Thx for the info. Oh and I agree with the "Han" theory.. . because Asians are badass (... in a charmingly geeky way?). Everyone wants to be like us. :rolleyes: Obviously.

Come on now, I'm studying for a hundret other exams. NC is going great, but I must admit - I miss having someone to fight with all the time. Its getting kind of boring now, but I guess I should enjoy it.

You could always seek out the dumb ones here on AMHD and fight with them...

... every now and then you get the occasional 12 year old who thinks he/she's old enough to raise a child...

Uncalled for. Whatever

Uncalled for. Whatever


Calm down, were just joking around. (The 12 year old thing is true though)

I still don't understand why you miss having someone to fight with though..?

kaneda, relax. I was kidding.

The whole basis of NC is to actually ENJOY the fact that there's no more drama in your life... the whole "no fighting, no obligation to call someone daily, no obligation to do anything for anyone but yourself" is actually a very calming experience. Soon, you'll learn to realize that being single... is actually a heck of a lot better than your old relationship.

kaneda, relax. I was kidding.

the whole basis of NC is to actually ENJOY the fact that there's no more drama in your life...the whole "no fighting, no obligation to call someone daily, no obligation to do anything for anyone but yourself" is actually a very calming experience. Soon, you'll learn to realize that being single...is actually a heck of a lot better than your old relationship.

I was talking with someone yesterday about how it's a weird feeling to all of a sudden be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want without having to answer to anyone. It is an odd thing to get used to, but its great at the same time...

The best part, she's in a relationship and she was jealous :p

yes I must agree... I feel less stressed I don't cry no more... I am overally happy... my relationship got to a 1 point where we fought 2x week... plus my ex drank way too much for me to handle.. the way feeling of calling him & him not picking because he passed out of drinking... don't miss that at all...

It's a great feeling. Sure, you still miss them, but you can definitely see life without them, and better yet, you can see life without them being better than before. That's the whole idea behind dating. It helps you understand yourself, what you want, and what you don't want.

God, what happened to the NC calendar? It use to be a bunch of us crybabies on here... and now no more of that. Everyone seems to be doing AWESOME! Yay for us!

Who knows what day of NC I'm on now since as I see it, those days of counting, etc. are way behind me. Just living life now!

You know how I knew I'm doing better. I've been seeing someone new and it actually lately hasn't been going so great, but I'm OK with it! Yeah, it sucks that it's probably not going to work out but I didn't immediately fall into a depression and think "oh, if only I could talk to my ex"... haha, instead I just thought, "oh well, its not going to work with this guy, bring on the next one!" haha

Hey you guys, it's beennnnn wayy too long since I've posted on this site. I've been so busy with university and friends that this is the only time I got to write a message as I'm going out of town again for the weekend

Here's a little update. My ex called me once a few days ago and then left me a text saying something like why dont you want to talk to me...Please answer your phone..please i just want to see how you are
After that she called me twice again. Now remember this is the girl that said that she didn't want to talk to me on the phone because it was a bit awkward. Now that I've gone NC for over 2 months, she calls me twice a week. Last week I met her friend when I went camping and told her to tell my ex to stop calling me, yet a few days later look what happens.

I know for a fact that things with her current boyfriend aren't going the way that they should be and she wants me to comfort her. I also know that she does care deeply about me and that she is confused. This girl needs to be single for a while to understand who she really is and what she really wants in life.
The way I see her is that she wants to be very independent but needs people to boost her ego and self esteem. She appears to be independent but she is far from it.
I thought I was clingy but I've taken a step back and realized that I don't need someone else to make me happy, I can be happy by myself.

Now I believe that this guy that she is with is some sort of a rebound, but I'm not banking on it. She needs to grow up and be a lot more mature. I have the biggest urge to call her boyfriend at work and letting him know that my ex should really stop calling me and wanting to talk to me.

I am coping OK with the fact me and my ex are over good, and also that he cheated on me with three different people- one of them being his long term ex girlfriend he was with before me, and even OK with the fact he was/is so cruel and I never deserved and he didn't apology for cheating on me even though he knows I've now found out. What I cannot get out of my head... is the fact I was a rebound for this girl, just a small blip in their relationship when he was such a HUGE part of my life :( and the thought of them getting married and having their happy ever after is just AGONY. Wondering how to deal with the fact that I am nothing to him, and she is everything and that's just how it is. :(

Apologise*

Boris, the saying by tailaman comes up. You made him a priority in your life while he made you an option in his. You gave him everything without making him earn it. People can be so cruel sometimes, it's unbelievable, all you can do is keep your chin up and keep troughing through the mud. Keep walking through this storm and never ever give up, you will get your just reward in the end. Things some how always tend to work out generally, just keep your chin up

I have question I was doing good for NC- but my ex texted me how I was doing... we texted back & worth- is that OK? However I was confident in the texts nothing about our relationship.. I want him to know I am OK w/the breakup... so I am just being cool w/him or should I ignore him? We broke up like 3wks ago...

Any form of contact you make is seen as breaking NC. To show that you're okay with the breakup you must show it to yourself first and not to him. Do what makes u happy and try not to think about them. As time passes by and if you've maintained NC, they themselves will realize that "oh, my ex hasnt contacted me in a long time, they must not need me anymore or must not think that I am important." You have to prove it to them through your actions, not through your words. In this day and age, words are meaningless

Good points Spion. When you walk through the storm...

You will come out the other side. I'm a liverpool fan, hoping we buy Keane or Villa!

Your post on your update was good and positive to read. You seem to now have your head ruling your heart, which is a good balanced state to be in. congrats on that. My ex is similar to yours, in that she needs to sort her head out and find out what she wants.

I know as you do, that I can be happy with or without her.

Keep up the good work my man.

Boris, the saying by tailaman comes up. You made him a priority in your life while he made you an option in his. You gave him everything without making him earn it. People can be so cruel sometimes, it's unbelievable, all you can do is keep your chin up and keep troughing through the mud. Keep walking through this storm and never ever give up, you will get your just reward in the end. Things some how always tend to work out generally, just keep your chin up

Thanks for your support. I know- I wish that I'd seen that quote AFTER we got together. You're so very right--- I gave him everything without him earning it. He didn't have a challenge. So I Imagine he got bored. Not a mistake I want to make again :(

Does anybody else find that- it's not just them you miss? For instance I was close with his sister and mum and even adored his cat for goodness sake!! I knew his grandmother and aunties. It actually really hurts that all those people are out of my life along with him. Is that normal or it just me?

Its normal, don't worry...

My ex's family loved me, and I have actually been invited over to her house by her mom since the breakup (a little odd to say the least :p). Its normal, but don't worry. Just like getting him out of your life, the rest of his family will go with it.

This is exactly why it is important to keep a life of your own and some independence. Should someone leave your life, you can't have you life fall apart...

This is exactly why it is important to keep a life of your own and some independence. Should someone leave your life, you can't have you life fall apart....


That is very accurate. I have made that mistake before, and I was making that mistake only a week ago with my girlfriend. I saw her EVERYDAY! She was my life. That has changed now. I have many friends who I will still have in the event me and my girlfriend break up. It's a great lesson to learn.

It's almost 3 weeks of NC... my ex has not texted, called, nor left me messages.

I feel relieved a bit more than before; sometimes I still have the urge but I try to control myself.

recently, I have been looking at the vocational school around SD (San Diego) and I toured the campus. It's in a financial district, but it's good. I took their exam and damn did I ace the test.

Good stuff guys. I too am doing better and one of my friends even said that I seem to be doing better. NC and time seems to work wonders. You guys all rock.

I haven't talked to my ex in a week now and lo and behold, I am feeling better. He tried to stay in contact with me twice last week, but I didn't reply.

I think he might be seeing someone else, or at least there's definitely another girl who is interested in him. I was initially jealous, but I think I'm okay with it now. I'm happy for him. :cool:

-J

Oh jilted. You crazy woman, you. I'm glad you're feeling better.

... do I even categorize as an NC-er?

It's been... 7 months.. I... have no idea what my ex is doing. We run into each other every now and then at a party, club, or the grocery store... she says hi, I nod as a response.

Of course, I do think about her every once in a while. But really, it means almost nothing anymore.

!! Whaaat? I am NOT a crazy woman. Hhhhssss. -__-^

If anything, my ex is the crazy one. He practically sheds tears over me leaving, but when I do him the favor of letting go because that's what he said he wanted (not what I initially wanted), he can't swallow his stupid, petty PRIDE and is a complete about it. Then, he tries to stay in contact, saying how we're going to get back together this fall. Well, I've got my pride, too. SO NO.

(hhmm... I guess I'm more angry than 'crazy' today. It will pass. :P)

Anyway, glad to know that you're feeling better Sneezy. :) I'd love to hear about you. Keep in touch, you hear?

!!!!! whaaat?? I am NOT a crazy woman. hhhhssss. -__-^

If anything, my ex is the crazy one. He practically sheds tears over me leaving, but when I do him the favor of letting go because that's what he said he wanted (not what I initially wanted), he can't swallow his stupid, petty PRIDE and is a complete about it. Then, he tries to stay in contact, saying how we're going to get back together this fall. Well, I've got my pride, too. SO NO.

(hhmm...I guess I'm more angry than 'crazy' today. It will pass. :P)

Anyway, glad to know that you're feeling better Sneezy. :) I'd love to hear about you. Keep in touch, you hear?

Your boyfriend is a douche. I hate people who have so much pride that they turn arrogant.

Nice to see you all again.. :]
Haven't posted in a while.. been busy as such traveling around...
For those who remember me, It's been about 5 months since we broke up, 4 months of NC..
I hadn't seen her or spoken to her for 4 months(in those 4 months she would try make contact but I wouldn't reply)...
Saw her at a concert and we both basically pretended we were strangers to each other.. she didn't even greet my friends, I greeted hers and sat with a couple of them for a bit...
The wound still feels sore.. and I still miss her sometimes..
Still write songs about her..
Didn't expect her to come talking to me to be honest, after all I've been ignoring her for the past 4 months.. but I'm sure she knows of the songs so her head is in the clouds...
Not much to do but keep walking I guess and hope things work out for the best..
I didn't think 5 months down the line id still be thinking about a 10 month relationship... but what can I do?
Chin up guys..

but im sure she knows of the songs so her head is in the clouds...

Is that your intention?

Personally, I think writing songs is a great way to get your mind off things, or to express yourself, but I wouldn't go out of my way to make sure that she sees/hears them. That's borderline cruel...

I hope you mean its cruel to myself, revisiting those old feelings.. I don't see how it could be cruel to her - from what I gathered she couldn't care less what I'm up too, but I don't blame her - I'm the abnormal one who's still getting my head together..
And no I don't bother, I don't contact her at all.. I just have my own myspace and YouTube channel, and her friends are somewhat fans.. so I'm quite sure they reach her ears... It's not my intention though. Im pretty sure she laughs to herself... Still somewhat cathartic for me

Another NC day udner my belt. Soon it will have been two weeks,which would be my all time record. I feel fine,although some days I sit and cry and miss him. But I am, ever so slowly, moving on.

I hope you mean its cruel to myself, revisiting those old feelings..I dont see how it could be cruel to her - from what I gathered she couldn't care less what I'm up too, but I don't blame her - im the abnormal one who's still getting my head together..
and no I dont bother, I dont contact her at all..I just have my own myspace and youtube channel, and her friends are somewhat fans..so im quite sure they reach her ears...It's not my intention though. Im pretty sure she laughs to herself...Still somewhat cathartic for me

I did mean cruel to her, but if she's digging for them, looking for them and trying to see what your up to, that's not your concern. Your putting them in your own personal space, so if she goes looking she gets what she deserves. What I meant was I wouldn't go out of my way to make sure she hears them (e.g. sending them directly to her).

I use music as well, and it helps. As long as it helps, I'll keep it up, and you should to.

Hope I cleared that up. :p

Your boyfriend is a douche. I hate people who have so much pride that they turn arrogant.

Indeed! Hence, his status as an EX-boyfriend. :rolleyes:

Anyway, still keeping busy with school/tests/work hjpan? I'm currently studying for the LSATs in hopes that some law school will take me. (shoot me, please... :eek: )

And congrats, kaneda! You're moving on and that's what matters, not the pace at which you're doing it. :)

Big, I didn't mean her head were in the clouds due to the songs glorifying her, because they don't.. It's just I heard through a mutual friend that she heard about a few of them and she felt somewhat "good" at me still being there in a sense..
Anyway no harm done :)

Hey guys, this past weekend was amazing. I went to my friend's cottage and we had an absolute blast. It took my mind off a lot of things and I got complemented left right and center because of the weight that I have lost.

My ex called me, and get this, around 13 times on Saturday, and left me a text asking me to pick up the phone. My friends told me to pick it up and tell her to F off but I reminded them that this is exactly what she wants. She wants me to answer so that she can relieve the guilt in her and (by the looks of it) get some comfort from her crumbling relationship.

I knew from deep within my heart that she does love me but just needed to find out for herself and I've given her that. But she did all this at my expense and that is something I won't forget which is why I have ignored all her phone calls.
It took me a lot of determination to not answer the phone and it has worked. She will not get the best of me.
If she wants to talk to me, she knows where I live, but that still doesn't mean that I'll answer my door.

Indeed! Hence, his status as an EX-boyfriend. :rolleyes:

Anyway, still keeping busy with school/tests/work hjpan? I'm currently studying for the LSATs in hopes that some law school will take me. (shoot me, please... :eek: )

And congrats, kaneda!! You're moving on and that's what matters, not the pace at which you're doing it. :)

Hahaha xD
Yeh.. I am busy with my studies :D
Looking towards technical school & work afterwards :P

big, I didnt mean her head were in the clouds due to the songs glorifying her, because they don't..It's just I heard through a mutual friend that she heard about a few of them and she felt somewhat "good" at me still being there in a sense..
anyway no harm done :)

Yep, I misunderstood heh.

Anyway, do you play an instrument, or do you just sing?

Ill private message my myspace/youtube ;p

It's been almost 3 weeks of NC.... my urges are still there =/

Anyways, I won't bee seeing her in SF for a year... I'll be concentrating on technical school and getting a state certificate to operate in homes or hospitals :)

Looks like I'll be making 20k/year as a 19-20 year old :D

Looks like I'll be making 20k/year as a 19-20 year old :D

Showoff.

... if all goes to plan, I'll be $200,000 in debt by the time I'm 26.

... and this is what I'm HOPING for.

showoff.

...if all goes to plan, I'll be $200,000 in debt by the time I'm 26.

...and this is what I'm HOPING for.

It's hardwork ^^

It's hardwork ^^

So is med school I imagine :p

Good luck to both of you... and sneezy, I'll be in debt too, but not quite that bad :p

Do you guys realize your filling these pages up so fast, there will have to be a part 3 soon?? Wonder if NUMB could have imagined what he started?

He stopped back in a few weeks ago and was surprised at that. I don't see this thread slowing down any time soon either...

It is a great resource by allowing people at all stages of these issues to see others at all other stages:

On that note, an update on my situation for those who are following. I think I am nearing the three month mark now, and I haven't talked to her since probably a week and a half after we broke up. Its amazing how easy it becomes once you make it a routine.

Not only have I been able to enjoy my life more so now then I did when I was dating, I have been able to use this time to train myself to make changes in my life. I suppose my ex would be amazed to see how much different of a person I am now as opposed to when I last saw her. My activities, my friends, my schedule, my diet and my other routines are all drastically different. Changing aspects of your life is, I believe, crucial to allowing yourself to feel better in time.

What I'm trying to say is that there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. Anyone who remembers when I first got here can remember the episodes that I put myself through, the pain, fear and panic that I put myself through. I can sure remember it, and believe people when they tell you it almost seems silly at this point. -- Okay, maybe not silly, it still sucked, but those times are long gone.

Keep at it.

I don't see this thread slowing down any time soon


It is a great resource by allowing people at all stages of these issues to see others at all other stages:



Talaniman Rant, The method to the madness.

I read this thread all the time, to see who is where, and for sure, to find out who grows and who doesn't. If you follow my postings, and advice, its all about you be able to cope with yourself in all situations, and knowing yourself well enough, to know what you will tolerate, and what you will question.

Those early relationships with the inexperience, curiosity, and fears are all about doubting yourself, and that leads to indecision, or not taking necessary actions, for yourself. In other words kissing butt in the name of love. That's why we feel so bad, when we get rejected, after all that butt kissing, and putting ourselves SECOND, we get rejected.

Many of you are growing right before my eyes, and I do take a sort of pride as I see you find yourselves, get stronger, and learn to put yourself first.

That's the whole key to life, standing up for yourself, and always love yourself enough to know who you are, and when to put the breaks on the BS!

Its never about what you find yourself caught up in, but what you do about it.

Okay end of rant, and I hope it helps.

Well I'll be the first to say its working Tal,

In just a few short months the differences in my life amaze me. How I can analyze things and make smarter decisions in all aspects related to people - its amazing. And your right about the early relationships - you learn some hard lessons, but they are worth every bit of the hurt.

So thanks :)

So is med school I imagine :p

Good luck to both of you...and sneezy, I'll be in debt too, but not quite that bad :p

Thanks :)

Awww, Tal! That actually made me cry a little bit! Ur tough love helps a lot and I hope everyone appreciates it. I know I do.

Now, 3 months post breakup, its unbelievable how good things are! I'm actually happy! Its so nice to have your OWN life back! I feel like a whole person again and if you asked me 2 months ago if I could ever imagine myself happy and whole again I would've thought you were all crazy. (And I probably did think you were all crazy when you were telling me that). But's it true! We're all much more resilient then we sometimes give ourselves credit for.

OK guys... wow... I ve been gone for a couple weeks now... it's going to be 3months soon... I would say that I ve been doing OK... although I had contact with my ex about 2 weeks ago.. she wrote me a message and then we talked on the phone... that was it... I m doing better... not totally healed yet, but I'm on my way... I met up with this and we ve been kicking it... so that helped a lot... :)... well also her support and companionship... but I think she want more from me... I told her that I'm not ready to give her what she wants yet but she cool... she just want to have fun... resiliency my friends... to all of you who are here and just got shown the door... IT GETS BETTER... no contact will make you better, you will move on, you will become somewhat indifferent... and maybe who knows things will come full circle and they would be the one chasing... hey tal how are you? I miss your advices... ;)... haha... keep your head up... have fun with friends... be grateful for what you have... resiliency... resist all urges...

Hi guys I am so glad you are all here. REading what you are all going through gives me so much hope. Thanks all.

Another day of NC. Yesterday I broke down,cried for a good hour and a half, pour my hearts contents on a friend and managaed not to break NC. But I sent two emails... which he will never see, because he never uses that email account. I was even surprised they didn't get returned back to me. The emails were short, I just wished him luck on his exams. So I guess I'm in the clear.

Another day of NC. Yesterday i broke down,cried for a good hour and a half, pour my hearts contents on a friend and managaed not to break NC. But i sent two emails ... which he will never see, because he never uses that email account. I was even surprised they didint get returned back to me. The emails were short, i just wished him luck on his exams. So i guess i'm in the clear.

I've done that, sent things I know he won't get, I feel slightly better. Hang in there!

On the plus side I feel fine today. I heard of him seeing someone else and I didn't really mind, of course I still love him but it far from devastated me. Which is weird :confused: yesterday I was tragic and now I'm thinking of him with someone else and it's not breaking my heart. ODD. I'm more jealous of him seeing his ex but that's because of their closeness and friendship. That's what I miss-our closeness and friendship. I'm going to leave it for a while and then reconcile, because we have no reason for drama if we're just good friends... and I can honestly say that's all I'm looking for. :)

My girlfriend broke up with me about 2.5 weeks ago, I hadn't talked to her in 12 days but on Monday I IMed her, it was tough seeing her online all the time and I wanted to know how she was doing... also I was kind of thinking she was half-wanting me to IM her, we talked for a little bit but it kind of became one-sided and I could tell she really didn't want to talk... so guess what I'm in for the long haul! I'm doing no contact, I'm not going to have another conversation with her if she doesn't want to really talk and I just need to get over her without any hopes that we'll get back together which I have been having and she even gave me those hopes saying when we broke up that maybe sometime we might get back together... but I'm not going to live my life with hopes like these, I need to move on... I'm on day 2, good luck everyone and keep pulling through!

she even gave me those hopes saying when we broke up that maybe sometime we might get back together.

That day rarely comes, and is so much crapola.

Kaneda - Good job not calling him or breaking NC. You might want to be careful with that email address though. Just beucase he doesn't check it often, doesn't mean he won't check it at all. If you want to send these messages you write, post them up here, or send them to yourself. Or better yet, write them in a real letter, then burn it. Anything but risk him getting ahold of it.

Boris - Its normal to miss the friendship and closeness that you had. It happens to everyone. Just beucase you and him were great friends doesn't mean that you can't have these same feelings for someone else down the road. I loved the friendship I had with my ex, and it took me months to realize that if it was someone I was not otherwise involved with, I probably would not become friends with her. You need to stop and see the person for who they are, and understand what benefit being their friend brings you. If you can't then maybe it isn't worth it at all. In any case - friendship is normally a LONG ways off from a breakup, if it ever comes at all...

pwtnu - I have to agree with Tal on this one. Friendship and false hopes are a killer. Do the smart thing and ignore any inklings she may drop - they mean nothing. The way I see it, you have two options... Prolong the hurt by believe in hope, which may turn out to be false. Then you end up with nothing but weeks and months of heartache. The other option is live like it is over, acknowledge that there isn't a chance, and see what happens in the future. Then you are a healthier, happier person, and whether she wants to get back together or not, you are perfectly capable of continuing a happy life.

Sounds like a no-brainer to me :)

Talaniman Rant, The method to the madness.

Those early relationships with the inexperience, curiosity, and fears are all about doubting yourself, and that leads to indecision,, or not taking necessary actions, for yourself. In other words kissing butt in the name of love. Thats why we feel so bad, when we get rejected, after all that butt kissing, and putting ourselves SECOND, we get rejected.

You could not be more dead on. I've never been as upset about a break up as I was about what I invested in compared to what I got out of it at... especially at the end when you try to throw everything at the wall to see what sticks, which at that point is nothing. Kissing butt in name of love is so true, and unlike kissing butt at work or with friends or anywhere else, kissing butt for love is the ultimate sign of desperation which only scares off anybody else.


Many of you are growing right before my eyes, and I do take a sort of pride as I see you find yourselves, get stronger, and learn to put yourself first.

This is the honest to God's truth. Durning my recent break up I was clouded by emotions and couldn't think straight so instead of thinking what I would do in a situation around my ex I would think, "What would Tal tell me to do here in this situation?" and I'd try my best to act accordingly.

I'm not here to write one of those "my childhood sucked so my adult life must as well" things, but I didn't have a great set of parents or an older brother and being a emotional guy I've ALLOWED myself to get sucked into some pretty bad relationship issues over the years. I can say that since I started posting here about 3 years ago Tal, you set the bar as to where you can take a relationship, what not to take in a relationship, and where you can take yourself if you look at the bigger picture.

Tal, you talk about people growing and the truth of the matter is I don't think people give you the credit you deserve or recognize the power of the simple truths you hold in sometimes just a one or two sentence answer. I can say with great confidence that if I hadn't been screwed over by the original girl that brought me to this site to begin with, and come across you postings and knowledge I'd never have changed, because I was doing the same things year after year despite getting no different results.

You talk about watching people grow, and I have to say I'm a prime example, I went to the school of Talaniman and I came out a completely different person. Not perfect, but certainly not the same person that stood by and let himself get sucked in as I had before. I guess what I'm saying is sometimges we don't realize the influence we have on people, but I think your influence can be felt all around the world through this site, even if you don't get the admission from the posters here for it.



Its never about what you find yourself caught up in, but what you do about it.


Amen. Everybody has problems, few find solutions.

Hey all..

So just thought Id share my situation. Im was with my BF for 6 yrs 4 of which were long distance.. he's in CA I'm in NY.

He decided that he wanted to take a break.. he needed to figure his life out, what he wanted to do.. he is severely depressed about his family problems their mental issues, his job, etc... and I just added to his stress.

He said that he wanted the clock to stop ticking in his head.. That I make him the center of my world.. I emailed him a lot , texted a lot. Always asking whatcha doing?? Making it look like I had no life I guess...

He said "cant you just do this for me?" it doesn't mean we can't date again after... after what??
OK so the break started may 31st... and I slipped up 2 weeks into it and texted him that I regreted being so emotional when he asked for a break.. I got NO response. Shocking right?

So NOW its been almost 7 weeks NC I don't count that dumb text LOL

Our 6 yr anniversary is next week. Im having a heart attack wondering if he'll call or text or send me a flower... what if he ignores it!?

Then the next test is my birthday the end of aug.. If he doesn't call me for that! UGHH what should I do? Just move on without officially breaking up? It isn't like I have a guy waiting on the side that I need to be with..

Yea I know, the way things ended, she seemed really confused about her decision to break it up and said she doesn't know what she wants right now... I go to study abroad in about a month and ill be gone for about 4 months, we go to the same school and hang out with the same people when we're there so this will be a great time to get over things... she said that she doesn't know if things will change when I get back in January but I'm not going to hold out any hope because I feel as if I won't enjoy myself as much and once I do come back I could go through another heartbreak so I'm just going to try and forget about her for now (easier said than done) and if anything happens when I get back, great and if nothing does, I feel I'll be ready to just be friends

Hey all..

So just thought Id share my situation. Im was with my BF for 6 yrs 4 of which were long distance.. he's in CA im in NY.

He decided that he wanted to take a break.. he needed to figure his life out, what he wanted to do.. he is severly depressed about his family problems their mental issues, his job, ect... and I just added to his stress.

He said that he wanted the clock to stop ticking in his head.. That I make him the center of my world.. I emailed him alot , texted alot. always asking whatcha doin???? making it look like I had no life I guess...

He said "cant you just do this for me?" it doesnt mean we can't date again after... after what???
ok so the break started may 31st... and I slipped up 2 weeks into it and texted him that I regreted being so emotional when he asked for a break.. I got NO response. shocking right?

So NOW its been almost 7 weeks NC I dont count that dumb text LOL

our 6 yr anniversary is next week. Im having a heart attack wondering if he'll call or text or send me a flower... what if he ignores it! ???

Then the next test is my bday the end of aug.. if he doesnt call me for that! UGHH what should I do? Just move on without officially breaking up?? It isnt like I have a guy waiting on the side that I need to be with..

This probably deserves it's own post but the short and sweet of it is, a break is a break up. Long distance or not, he hasn't talked to you in almost 2 months, I think you should start making plans to move forward with out him. I understand putting dates in front of you, but instead of expecting him to call, think about what you can do for yourself on those dates and not about what he's going to do for you.

Lola, I'm going to have to agree with chuff. 7 weeks of no contact from him virtually means...

It was a breakup. He's moved on. Have you?

There's a chance that he may have found someone new... (don't kill me for this, but a lot of people will agree with me on this one) and is just letting you off easy.

I hope I'm wrong, and I wish you the best.

There's a chance that he may have found someone new...(don't kill me for this, but a lot of people will agree with me on this one) and is just letting you off easy.

I didn't want to say it, but the truth is in a long distance relationship this is usually the reason for the break up. LDR's are very diffilcult to maintain because as people move to new places they start new chapters in there lives and that usually means leaving behind their old lives and those that were in it. In many respects it is the best way to lose someone, because it wasn't about you or the relationship, it was just the distance so if you can take something positive from the experience try to focus on that.

Yea I did make a new post...

I find it hard to believe he would have a new girl.. Id be so pissed if that was the case.. just tell me.. I would have moved on by now.

He is really messed up in the head.. he hates dating.. To start all over again.. ugh I don't know..

I can't move on without closure. No way. I still love him Way too much..

Lola, the whole closure thing is a falacy, a well known one at that. He could probably tell you he hates you and never wants to see you again, and you'll still want "closure". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you're in what they call the denial stage.

Pwtnu4, just do all the things u've always wanted to do and see your mates. Personally, the 2 months following my breakup in march were DAMN EXPENSIVE, but that didn't matter.

The feelings you have after a breakup will dissipate eventually, guaranteed. Personally I think I'm doing okay in a lot shorter period than I originally thought.

Fairly stupid question for you all: I heard through the grapevine that my ex got on a tough course she was trying to get on. I was thinking of messaging her to congratulate her, just a brief email.

I think I'm kind of okay now, I'm fed up with hating her and want to bury the hatchet. She thinks (and isn't entirely wrong) I'm angry at her so she might be scared to contact me, so I kind of feel the balls in my court. Im with someone new and things are going well, so I don't think its my mind playing tricks. I thought of this a couple of days ago and I still feel like doing it, so its not just an emotional trough. What do you guys think? I think I know the answer...

jammyb, Lola, the whole closure thing is a falacy, a well known one at that. He could probably tell you he hates you and never wants to see you again, and you'll still want "closure". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you're in what they call the denial stage.
This is very true, I agree, especially about the denial.
Fairly stupid question for you all: I heard through the grapevine that my ex got on a tough course she was trying to get on. I was thinking of messaging her to congratulate her, just a brief email.
Naw, let sleeping dogs lie.
I think I'm kind of okay now, I'm fed up with hating her and want to bury the hatchet. She thinks (and isn't entirely wrong) I'm angry at her so she might be scared to contact me, so I kind of feel the balls in my court. Im with someone new and things are going well, so I don't think its my mind playing tricks. I thought of this a couple of days ago and I still feel like doing it, so its not just an emotional trough. What do you guys think? I think I know the answer... [/quote]
Naw, why open a can of worms when you can let time take care of it for you without any risk?

lola nyc, Yea I did make a new post...

I find it hard to believe he would have a new girl.. Id be so pissed if that was the case.. just tell me.. I would have moved on by now.
Putting aside the fact your tripping off what he is allegedly is doing your not focused on what you should be doing for yourself. Don't let your feelings cloud the fact that your own needs are the top priority.
He is really messed up in the head.. he hates dating.. To start all over again.. ugh I don't know..
Just let go and stay out of his life and business and work on yours.
I can't move on without closure. No way. I still love him Way too much.
Besides his actions what can give you closure??? Why waste time on something you may never get?

Thanks, Chuff, that means a lot!

No if he told me he hated me WOW.. Id be surprised and tell him to F off... I wouldn't need closure then. At least he is saying I don't have feelings for you. Or I have a new GF.. or some reason... for a final end. Im not in denial. Denial of what? He told me to give him so time to figure things out...

If he moved on and planned on never speaking to me again I would think he lost his damn mind.

This is so completely irrelevant but... I got confused, really confused then, because my real name is Lola. Lol

Closure is a fallacy! Usually "closure" equates to hearing things you probably would rather not hear. Trust all of us who've been there. Trying to get "closure" usually just winds up dragging on the agony. There's no way to tie a nice little bow around a breakup and call it "closure". Just give your ex'es exactly what they want and exactly what you need to start healing and moving on. And that's NC and to disappear from their lives. It sucks and it sounds heartless and unimaginable, but trust all of us who've been there, it's the only thing that'll start you on the path to feeling better again.

This isn't my 1st break up.. I know how it goes. Usually when I've been in a long relationship over 3 yrs, I've had 3 of them... we break up for reasons.. we say our peace and its over. This is different.. Ive never done a break.. and it may mean we will break up.. but for now I don't care. I couldn't move on to a new guy if I tried. How is that fair to a new guy? I couldn't get romantically involved without feeling bad about it or disgusted. Its unresolved business.. maybe I shouldn't have called it closure...

I think I deserve the respect to get a straight answer out of him. And I will get it. Even if I have to go to CA myself.. I will find out what I need to move on. Ive never had outstanding ques.. or what if's in any of my relationships. We have all ended knowing what was up.

I think everyone's a bit disgruntled on here... I wanted some positive feedback not all negative bashing...

Hey lola,

I don't think you should take the feedback on here as negative bashing. Maybe you're looking for a specific type of answer and reaction. I'm sorry you're not getting it.

I've been on a "break" before that subsequently, turned into a breakup. From my experience, they are usually synonymous. Then again, I may be wrong.

I've read your initial post regarding your relationship troubles. I admire your determination and your willingness to take action. Your boyfriend, obviously, does not share these same qualities when it comes to relationships (or at least in continuing them or bringing them to a some sort of culmination). I think the fact that your boyfriend can't muster enough decency to break it off completely (or not) after a serious, 3-year-long relationship says a lot. He just doesn't seem as though he's in a place right now to handle a relationship much less himself.

I'm not sure if I'm of any help, but I say do what's best for you. If this means going to California and demanding answers from him, by all means, go for it. Just know that his answers (or lack thereof) may not be the ones you want to hear and you may even lose your self-confidence, dignity, and pride in the process. Then again, maybe that's what you want to do/hear in order to move on.

I'm really sorry you have to go through all this frustration. I guess the other route is to wait it out, to which I don't think you're too partial from the likes of your posts. (Who is? ) Perhaps you should ask him how long he plans to maintain this "break"? I mean, is it really worth it, if it's driving you nuts?

Keep us updated.

Another fellow AMHD-er currently on a "break,"
J

Jilted:

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Hey NC calender people... its been a week or so since I last talked to my ex of two years. Its been rough... very rough.. I miscarried his baby.. and he said he still loves the girlfriend he is with (together for maybe a month) and that he only wants to be "friends"... im very angry, but has somewhat accepted why things went they way they did... I haven't spoken to him at all, and deleted him from phone/myspace etc. he said he friends are willing to fight to make sure him and his girlfriend stay together, like actual fighting, and I find it so immature... the thing is, I miss the old him.. not who he is now. So... yeah... im just tired of drama...

Hey NC calender people...its been a week or so since i last talked to my ex of two years. its been rough...very rough..i miscarried his baby..and he said he still loves the girlfriend he is with (together for maybe a month) and that he only wants to be "friends" ...im very angry, but has somewhat accepted why things went they way they did... i havent spoken to him at all, and deleted him from phone/myspace etc. he said he friends are willing to fight to make sure him and his girlfriend stay together, like actual fighting, and i find it so immature...the thing is, i miss the old him..not who he is now. so...yeah...im just tired of drama...

He's a piece of trash. He thinks he loves his girlfriend and his friends are willing to fight for him? That's so stupid.

Nobody is going to fight for you in the real world.

He's a piece of trash. He thinks he loves his girlfriend and his friends are willing to fight for him? That's so stupid.

Nobody is going to fight for you in the real world.


EXACTLY! That's what I'm saying! He is trash, but he was the father of my baby for a little bit until I lost it, and I just have a lot of unresolved feelings.. mostly anger.when I told him about the miscarriage ( I was unaware of my pregnancy either ) he had the nerve to ask if it was his, WE WERE TOGETHER FOR TWO YEARS!. utter madness.

EXACTLY! Thats what im saying!! He is trash, but he was the father of my baby for a little bit until i lost it, and i just have a lot of unresolved feelings..mostly anger.when i told him about the miscarriage ( i was unaware of my pregnancy either ) he had the nerve to ask if it was his, WE WERE TOGETHER FOR TWO YEARS!! ...utter madness.

Yeh... I knew guys in high school who were stupid pricks...

some got girls pregnant and ran off... =/

Life is harsh D;

My girlfriend (now ex) of one year four months took off a week prior to my finals D;
calls me now & then.... have not spoken to her for about three to four weeks

Yeh... I knew guys in high school who were stupid pricks...

some got girls pregnant and ran off... =/

Life is harsh D;

My girlfriend (now ex) of one year four months took off a week prior to my finals D;
calls me now & then.... have not spoken to her for about three to four weeks



That's good to hear about not talking, its been I don't know maybe a week or two, but the sad thing is that I'm going to visit some old teachers, and he works there at the school.. so we're bound to talk again, and it worries me...

Two weeks of NC exactly. Longest. Period.ever.
I wish he'd find and contact me and say he wants to start all over again... and I know that's not happening. Sigh

Two weeks of NC exactly. Longest. period.ever.
I wish he'd find and contact me and say he wants to start all over again ... and i know thats not happening. Sigh


Would you be willing to if he did? Could you put the fact that he broke up with you behind you? Would you be willing to risk all of this hurt/anger/sadness again, just for something that most likely will end the same way? I've been there - after a breakup and a reunion, its not the same - trust me on that one.

As far as the closure debate goes, I just want to say one thing. It seems to me that most people who use the "closure" word are using it as a guise to have contact one last time. It's a last ditch effort. I'm not saying you don't deserve decency and closure, hell I wish I got it, but it doesn't happen. I never got it, I'm not looking for it, it isn't worth it.

Closure (psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Closure_(psychology))

Talaniman definition of closure- Accepting the situation, and dealing with it, in a proactive positive way.

After a break up, healing is your closure, then you can see the situation a lot more objectively, after coping with the emotional fall out.

Would you be willing to if he did? Could you put the fact that he broke up with you behind you? Would you be willing to risk all of this hurt/anger/sadness again, just for something that most likely will end the same way? I've been there - after a breakup and a reunion, its not the same - trust me on that one.

As far as the closure debate goes, I just want to say one thing. It seems to me that most people who use the "closure" word are using it as a guise to have contact one last time. Its a last ditch effort. I'm not saying you don't deserve decency and closure, hell I wish I got it, but it doesn't happen. I never got it, I'm not looking for it, it isn't worth it.

This is very true. I too said I wanted closure. Thanks to people here I soon realized what I really wanted was to try and my ex to see that she had somehow made a mistake in ditching me. I realize this now and as much as it hurts I know that the fact that she has pretty much ignored me or made false promises over the last 6 weeks is closure enough.

If the ex (man or woman) wants to try again with us they will let us know. This is especially true if they did they dumping.

Its amazing how predictable this whole break up thing is. You could almost write a textbook about the feelings you go through, and the progress you make. From what I've seen this is how it goes:

1) You search on this site for, lets face it, a way we can get them back - we know its over but there's part of us that tries to find a way.
2) People say to go no contact, forget them and move on
3) You kind of listen and know it makes sense, but part of you thinks "well this is a bit of a discruntled bunch, maybe they're wrong".
4) You break no contact and get screwed over (this might happen a few times)
5) You stick to NC and recover a hell of a lot quicker than you think. Meanwhile part of you still wants them to contact you. They might do in which case you'll probably end up breaking up anyway somewhere down the line, or they might not which nips it in the bud earlier and saves the hastle.

I don't know where I heard this but apparently only 3% of people get back together after a major breakup and stick together (that needs citing which frankly I can't be bothered to do).

At the end of the day, there's about 3 billion (or 6 depending on your preferences) other people to choose from so why get cut up over 1 of them.

I might be wrong here and if so, feel free to slate what I just said. Im only a newby.

Yea it might be true that if you break the NC we might not get what we want to hear..

But to hear them maybe say it again it could sink in better.. For those of us who hang on to the last thread,

This is the 1st time Ive been dumped. Maybe that's why I refuse to let go.

I've dumped my last 4 bf's... never did a "break" said see you later and moved on. I never made it "maybe" we'll get back together.. I cut it ALL OFF>

So this method is ODD to me.. Who drags someone along? A coward? It makes me sick to think the man Ive been with is a coward. And can be cold hearted? I can't believe it! I really cant.

After all this.. THIS is how you want to end things? Without being face to face? Who breaks up over the phone!! That's why I didn't think that would be IT.

ITS RUDE!! Its disrespecting! BE a man and face me! I seriously won't get over it until I see his face.

You guys see your bf's and girlfriend.. mine is 3,000 miles away...

He said he was coming home.. I figured I wouldve seen him by now. I won't give up until he straight up admits he doesn't love me. Which he hasn't done!

He says he still loves me and to give him some time.

Which he may or may not be dragging me on..

From the outside it looks that way..

But shouldn't I call and find out? Do I start telling my family we broke up? OMG I can't do it! They would all be devastated!

Sometimes I wish I had no family or friends then I wouldn't have to live you to anyone's expectations.

I was the same lola, I'd never been dumped before, apart from in stupid relationships when I was about 11. It's a real blow to your pride, I think that's the worst thing; you feel like you've been betrayed. I felt like I'd spent 2.5 years building my ex's confidence and in the end she thought she was too good for me. Weird, considering before I started dating her she was a bit of social recluse and frankly I always thought I was too good for her. Its odd how things change. Your BF's obviously a coward if he left you hanging like that, so you don't owe him anything. You don't need to wait for an answer, especially him saying he doesn't love you. I think all of us on here have thought they wanted that at some point, but after a while you'll realise its bs. Time heals all wounds, not them. Maybe you should at least give it a couple of weeks no contact so your emotions settle down slightly.

Jammy

Yea my emotions are high this week.. Plus with our anniversary next week.. I'm having anxiety over it. Will he call won't he call.. UGH> I plan on getting pretty drunk sat night with some friends so Im hoping I'll forget the pain for a few hrs...

He told me about all the stresses in his life. Said he needs a therapist.. told me that 1st.. THEN broke the news he wanted a break.. and thought that if by telling me he was going to see a therapist id understand more.. not a chance... I exploded with crying Id say over 2 days we were on the phone 4 hrs of me hyperventilating.. classy huh?

He said I make him the center of his universe.. which I didn't see that I did. How can you keep up a LDR if you don't call! That amazed me.

He seems selfish. He always said it was all about me.. that I was his best friend! Just recently he mentioned to his mom how am I going to top this wedding. Meaning his sisters who just got married.. like why even say that! Why throw out a bone here and there!

When we went 5 yrs with not a mention of marriage.. it was all so bizarre to me.. the whole lets break. I was id say 75% sure he was getting himself ready to get married this year or next... the way he looked at me! OMG it was so loving!

I said to him how could you just do a complete 180! He didn't really answer it but said I always make things black and white...

Like that confused me.. what does that even mean. Are we in a grey area right now.. an iffy area? Where it can still go either way...

So you think calling next week is a bad idea? Or do I have a right to know after 2 months?

Its amazing how predictable this whole break up thing is. You could almost write a textbook about the feelings you go through, and the progress you make.

Its just as amazing that everyone thinks their situation is unique and they are the first to go through it.

Its amazing how predictable this whole break up thing is. You could almost write a textbook about the feelings you go through, and the progress you make. From what I've seen this is how it goes:

1) You search on this site for, lets face it, a way we can get them back - we know its over but there's part of us that tries to find a way.
2) People say to go no contact, forget them and move on
3) You kinda listen and know it makes sense, but part of you thinks "well this is a bit of a discruntled bunch, maybe they're wrong".
4) You break no contact and get screwed over (this might happen a few times)
5) You stick to NC and recover a hell of a lot quicker than you think. Meanwhile part of you still wants them to contact you. They might do in which case you'll probably end up breaking up anyway somewhere down the line, or they might not which nips it in the bud earlier and saves the hastle.

I dunno where I heard this but apparently only 3% of people get back together after a major breakup and stick together (that needs citing which frankly i can't be bothered to do).

At the end of the day, there's about 3 billion (or 6 depending on your preferences) other people to choose from so why get cut up over 1 of them.

I might be wrong here and if so, feel free to slate what i just said. Im only a newby.

I studied a bit of pshcology a few years ago and the interesting thing I took from it was that human beings are reletively the same once you peel away personality, likes and dislikes, culture, and societal influence. In other words we all have different lives we lead but underneath it are drives and emotions are coming from out brains, which for the most part are designed to do the same things for every human.

Are emotions are should be protecting us and as such they often get in the way of us seeing what's really going on.

Yea my emotions are high this week.. Plus with our anniversary next week.. im having anxiety over it. Will he call wont he call.. UGH> I plan on getting pretty drunk sat night with some friends so Im hoping I'll forget the pain for a few hrs...


Never quite understood this... Why drink to feel better knowing that alcohol is a depressant. Do what you want, but be careful. People have been known to make bad decisions when they are drunk. Wouldn't want to slip up and call him, would you?

Personally, I never had the urge to drink when I'm not feeling great. My opinion - drink to make yourself have a better time than your already having, if I'm in a bad mood, I just don't feel like doing it.

Ever drink tequila?? LOL

No Ive already been drunk over the past few weeks and haven't called.. I never drunk dial. Never did. Not wasted literally.. 4 beers.. or 2 martinis.. that's as far as I go.. I don't want to get sick! Im old I'm not 18.. I know how to drink.

Im not drinking alone.. then I might get depressed!

I went to the beach had a few beers had a great time.. didn't feel depressed at all.. When the work week came back it gave me time to ponder my crappy situation. Felt crappy again.. I go out drink feel better.. I don't know it puts me in a good mood..

Im just going to have some fun and wait and see. I still have hope and I didn't come on the board to be bashed. I thought people would be nicer or more open..

If I wanted stick it in your face bluntness I would talk to my MOM!

I bet there are tons of people on here going through almost the same thing still having some hope... love doesn't DIE that quick! I can't turn it off like that.

if I wanted stick it in your face bluntness I would talk to my MOM!

I certainly didn't try to "bash" you or give you "stick it in your face bluntness". I was just expressing concerns and giving you my advice/opinion on the situation. For the first month or two after my breakup, every time I drank I woke up the next morning feeling worse than I did the night before. I was just trying to help you out.

Take it how you will.

Sorry bigbird,

The way u had depressant bolded.. made me feel like you thought I was stupid and didn't know how to handle my drinks.. didn't mean to offend u.

sorry bigbird,

The way u had depressant bolded.. made me feel like you thought I was stupid and didn't know how to handle my drinks.. didn't mean to offend u.

No worries, just wanted to emphasize it - some of the stories we get around here... :rolleyes:

F**k it, I was wrecked constantly for a good couple of weeks after the break up. It got me off my butt and out seeing mates. In my opinion they're probably the most important thing after a break up. If its an excuse to get out, why not? The drunk dialling is a real killer though, Bigbird has a damn good point. So are the hangovers.

To be honest though lola, its not that we're not being open/nice; I think its just that people aren't rreally themselves in this situation. People do stupid things and need the obvious pointing out to them. I know I did anyway, but screw it if you honestly think you should call him maybe you should, then hopefully u'll get the closure you want. Let us know how it goes

Lol. I feel like that is an expected turn-of-events soon after a break up. First, booze yourself away. Afterwards (and perhaps throughout), feel like sh*t and, because you cannot run away from the opened can of angst and gloom, start the difficult process of dealing with -shudder- feelings.

So I'm visiting my friend next weekend, which is where my ex currently resides. I know I shouldn't, but I'm curious to see what would happen if I told him I'll be around. I don't feel much for him at all, which is not even disappointing because I don't really care in that way anymore (lol- feelings are fickle). I'm just curious.

... I know there's a lot wrong with what I just said. Oh MAN. Hahaha. Just ignore me... -__-

Going back to studying for LSATs,
J

Thats good to hear about not talking, its been idk maybe a week or two, but the sad thing is that im going to visit some old teachers, and he works there at the school..so we're bound to talk again, and it worries me...

Tell him to fuq off when he tries to talk to you

So this is my 3rd day of no contact... before the breakup if we weren't together, we would talk on AIM a lot... now we both still go on it on some nights, seeing her online frustrates me sometimes because I want to talk to her but I know that'll only make me feel worse (happened 3 days ago)... so today I just went up and blocked her, this way I won't know when she's online and she won't know when I am, I won't feel bad about her not talking to me and I won't feel tempted to talk to her and make things worse for myself... as trivial as this may sound it's big for me and I think will help a lot in the healing

That is a very wise decision, and is recommended to everyone who comes here.

That is a very wise decision, and is recommended to everyone who comes here.

Agreed, and the same goes for Facebook, myspace, and your cell phone!

Lola if he says he needs time and you love him then isn't giving what he asks for the best thing? From what I can see this is all about what you want. In reading your posts I see little about you wanting the best for the man you love. If he wants you he will come back to you. Our ex's know how to get in touch with us.

I too hate being apart from my ex. It feels horrible not being wanted by the one we love. Nobody here is attacking you. People here are trying to help you avoid going through a hell of a lot of pain.

I also thought that I needed to see my ex just so she could look in my eyes and tell me she did not love me. BS! Investing time in a single person who has decided she does not want me, when there are others out there who maybe available makes no sense.

Last night, I had a dream of my ex going out with another guy. I woke up annoyed and it's stuck in my brain... damn~

This morning, I saw my ex on MSN but I did not want to talk to her... it seems like she's "okay" with this break up cause she has no feelings for me. Well, I thought of myself that one day I'll be on TV and tell the audience what happened to me and how this girl was an a$$.... I also told myself that I will have a better future than my ex and if she came to me for help, I'll tell her to fuq off...

for the dream.. is it normal?
for my idea.. is it ok?

Hi hjpan. Why do you still have your ex on MSN? What is that doing for your piece of mind mate?

I think your dream and your feelings are normal. We can think or dream about whatever we want. Just don't act on those thoughts. Wanting to tell your ex to fark off is normal. We just want our ex's to feel the same sense of pain we have been through. I wonder what I will say when I run into my ex next quarter. I know I will run into her as we are in the same major. I do not think I will be mean to her. It is more likely I will say hello as I walk by and leave it at that. I often think of all kinds of mean things I would like to say to her but in reality I just want her to be happy with or without me.

You seem like a good guy hjpan. Go easy on yourself and be good to yourself.

F104-Great advice.

hjpan-while your thoughts are normal, let me say your not busy enough. When you have those waking thoughts of anger, that's when you have to get busy.

One thing healing gives is a realistic view of the world around you, and very little time to dwell. Holding on to resentments always builds anger that, either motivates or debilitates. Be honest, where are you on this? Can you see progress in yourself?

Hi hjpan. Why do you still have your ex on MSN? What is that doing for your piece of mind mate?
Hey there f104..

I have my ex on MSN cause she never logs on and just by chance, she is on... It does not bother me cause I don't talk to her... I talk to my other friends



I think your dream and and your feelings are normal. We can think or dream about whatever we want. Just don't act on those thoughts. Wanting to tell your ex to fark off is normal. We just want our ex's to feel the same sense of pain we have been through. I wonder what I will say when I run into my ex next quarter. I know I will run into her as we are in the same major. I do not think I will be mean to her. It is more likely I will say hello as I walk by and leave it at that. I often think of all kinds of mean things I would like to say to her but in reality I just want her to be happy with or without me.

You seem like a good guy hjpan. Go easy on yourself and be good to yourself.

Well, I really want to tell her to go effe herself and make fun of her future that is not stable. For me, I won't be running into my ex in San Francisco cause I'll be going to technical school for hands-on training and returning back to university to study; by that time, I will be working part time & studying part time....

Thanks :D

F104-Great advice.

hjpan-while your thoughts are normal, let me say your not busy enough. When you have those waking thoughts of anger, thats when you have to get busy.

One thing healing gives is a realistic view of the world around you, and very little time to dwell. Holding on to resentments always builds anger that, either motivates or debilitates. Be honest, where are you on this? Can you see progress in yourself?

I can see myself be successful as long as I strive to continue myself to go on and leave the 8itch ex behind...

This afternoon, I was on facebook when my ex & I started talking a bit. I told her straight up that I'm not going back to the university and I'll be working (false plan). She's like "ok.. whatever.." attitude...

Well, I am now more eager to make her feel like sh8 as she did to me in the past..

thanks for helping me around~ I should help around too :)

..!

Hj, you're trying to make your ex feel bad?. classic sign that you're not trying to feel better buddy. It's not about revenge, it's simply about "healing"...

You can get revenge after you've healed... if you want. Sometimes, though, just the fact that you've healed is revenge enough. For instance, I was out with a smoking hottie what... mm... 2 weeks ago?. ran into my ex. It was weird, as... it was MY favorite restaurant... not sure what she was doing there with her boyfriend, but alas.

But yeah, I definitely won THAT battle. My girl could NOT be touched.

....?!?

hj, you're trying to make your ex feel bad? ...classic sign that you're not trying to feel better buddy. It's not about revenge, it's simply about "healing"...

You can get revenge after you've healed...if you want. Sometimes, though, just the fact that you've healed is revenge enough. For instance, I was out with a smoking hottie what...mm...2 weeks ago? ...ran into my ex. It was weird, as...it was MY favorite restaurant...not sure what she was doing there with her boyfriend, but alas.

but yeah, I definitely won THAT battle. My girl could NOT be touched.

Hmmm... I guess it is revenge

Yeah. The more you stress about making her feel bad, you lose focus of the whole thing... then suddenly, if she starts to "not feel bad"... then you'll actually feel worse.

Best thing to do... let it go. Go on your own path. Someday, you may run into her... and if you do, it'll be a different feeling. And it'll be your own personal victory.

Ex has been calling. Great, right! NO! More of a nuisance then anything.

Broke up almost 4 months ago after 4 years together. Haven't spoken in about 2 months. Now, this week he's called twice and not left a message.

I got to be honest. When I saw his number pop up on my caller id, my heart did skip a beat for a second but I had enough wits about me to NOT answer. Things have been going too good for me lately and I've been too happy to jeopordize that for some silly awkward conversation.

So, to those hoping to see/talk to your ex: One day you'll get to the point where you really would rather not... and then eventually to the place, where you really don't care.

I can admit I feel a little bit bad about ignoring him cause the breakup was amicable (as amicable as getting dumped can be, I suppose). But for the most part, I'm pretty indifferent about the whole thing. Never thought I'd make it to this point but I have. And it really feels pretty f'in good. : )

There you go losingit. No point in talking to him if there's no benefit to you, right?

My ex did the "call once a day for 2 weeks" thing about... 4 - 5 months after our breakup. Granted, our breakup was amicable... until I found out she got a new boyfriend about 3 days after she ended our 3.5 years.

If you ever get a call, and you're unsure, just don't pick it up. There's no reason to. If you later decide that it's not a bad idea to talk to them, then you can always return the call. Until then, rationalize it with the thought, "How will this help me...?"

yeah. The more you stress about making her feel bad, you lose focus of the whole thing...then suddenly, if she starts to "not feel bad"...then you'll actually feel worse.

best thing to do...let it go. go on your own path. someday, you may run into her...and if you do, it'll be a different feeling. and it'll be your own personal victory.

I guess you're right... I should focus on my success and when I see my ex in the future, I shall rub it in her face... telling her that if she did not give up on me... she'd be standing right next to me

::hits head::

Hj... that's not the idea behind it. The idea behind it is to get better, so that YOU'RE better. It's not for anyone else to see, but simply yourself. Hope that makes sense. If you do it for someone else, I can almost guarantee you that you will lose focus soon enough. It's like the guys I see at the gym. You can pick out the guys that are there because they want to get fit simply for themselves, and the guys that are there so they look good for the beach.

The guys that are doing it simply for the beach... lose focus quickly and mostly just "mess around"... while the guys that are there just to get into better shape, work hard, get into better shape, and mostly end up looking better than the pretty boys that just show up.

Hope that made sense. Don't let HER be the focus. Remember, the idea behind it is for you to forget about her, live as if she no longer exists. She is a stranger to you. Let the focus be on YOU.

::hits head::

hj...that's not the idea behind it. the idea behind it is to get better, so that YOU'RE better. It's not for anyone else to see, but simply yourself. Hope that makes sense. If you do it for someone else, I can almost guarantee you that you will lose focus soon enough. It's like the guys I see at the gym. You can pick out the guys that are there because they want to get fit simply for themselves, and the guys that are there so they look good for the beach.

The guys that are doing it simply for the beach...lose focus quickly and mostly just "mess around"...while the guys that are there just to get into better shape, work hard, get into better shape, and mostly end up looking better than the pretty boys that just show up.

Hope that made sense. Don't let HER be the focus. Remember, the idea behind it is for you to forget about her, live as if she no longer exists. She is a stranger to you. Let the focus be on YOU.

Thank you =]

I guess I should focus on MY life and make my ex feel like trash in the future...

Trust me, right now, revenge IS sweet... but in the end, it just takes a toll on you and in the end, you just end up feeling worse. Focus on yourself, and you'll fee MUCH better in the end.

Best wishes bud.

I have to agree with Sneezy - getting revenge is a sign that you aren't at a point yet where you are ready to move on and get over this. In time the feelings of resentment and anger will settle down. Work on keeping busy and you will help get these feelings out of your system - it's the best cure.

I hope the feelings of revenge settle down. Lately I have been feeling like getting revenge. I want to put sugar in the gas tank of her jeep. I know it's not right but I want to. I won't but I want to. In reality I am dreading running into her when fall quarter begins. Have even considered transferring to a different university for a quarter.

hjpan, remember: "revenge is a dish best served cold." Listen to Sneezy. The man knows what he's talking about.

So I am feeling pretty good. :) I actually made plans to meet up with my ex next weekend. I actually feel badly because he seemed happy to hear from me, only now I don't think I can meet up. All of a sudden, I have 3 friends who I promised to meet up with and are incidentally going to be in the area. Problem is I'm barely going to be there for 2 days. I'm not sure the ex and I will have time to meet up. Moreover, he doesn't know my friends and everyone is sort of from different circles. It'd be awkward to invite him out. I'm not sure why everyone chose to come out around the same time. Argh! I may have to tell him that we need have to postpone. I hope he doesn't take it personally. :T!

I hope he doesn't take it personally. :T!

F his feelings. Pretty sure he didn't take your feelings into too much consideration before

Thanks everyone =]

I really want a sweet revenge when I see her in San Francisco but I need to make sure I have my path to success in front of me. Recently, I have been working out, paying more attention in class at community college, doing homework, reading dating books (corny, eh?)...

Around mid-August, I'll be going to technical school and finish May 2009... I have considered enlisting in the Army right afterwards :O...

Life is complicated D;... but everyone says I live in a very simple life =/

F his feelings. pretty sure he didn't take your feelings into too much consideration before

This is true... lol. I surprisingly don't feel any anger toward the guy though. I actually feel a little bad for him and I'm not sure why.

Oh well~ if we meet up, we meet up. If we don't, we don't. That's how I'm going to look at it. :)

-J

OK.. so is it weird to feel no feeling whatsoever when talking to an ex?. doest it mean you are totally over them?.

ok..so is it weird to feel no feeling whatsoever when talking to an ex?...doest it mean you are totally over them?...

That's when you lost everything about them

I don't know how to cope I actually don't. Just when I start dealing with my miscarriage and the fact that he hasn't said a word and he doesn't care, his ex that he's with all the time is pregnant and he's there for her. It's like--- can anything worse actually go wrong for me?! I can't describe how I feel, I'm on the verge of throwing up and I'm... sad isn't the word. Angry, upset, depressed, betrayed, alone... I'm at rock bottom. I don't know what to do I actually can't deal with this.

I dunno how to cope I actually don't. Just when I start dealing with my miscarriage and the fact that he hasn't said a word and he doesn't care, his ex that he's with all the time is pregnant and he's there for her. It's like--- can anything worse actually go wrong for me?!?!?!? I can't describe how I feel, I'm on the verge of throwing up and I'm...sad isn't the word. Angry, upset, depressed, betrayed, alone... I'm at rock bottom. I dunno what to do I actually can't deal with this.

Don't worry. Karma will get back at everyone sooner or later

Hi you Boris. All I can say is that I feel sorry for you. I hope things will get better. Are you able to spend time with friends and family. I find it is important to spend as much time around those who care about us as possible during a break up.

I dunno how to cope I actually don't. Just when I start dealing with my miscarriage and the fact that he hasn't said a word and he doesn't care, his ex that he's with all the time is pregnant and he's there for her. It's like--- can anything worse actually go wrong for me?!?!?!? I can't describe how I feel, I'm on the verge of throwing up and I'm...sad isn't the word. Angry, upset, depressed, betrayed, alone... I'm at rock bottom. I dunno what to do I actually can't deal with this.

Its normal to have these feelings... Its not uncommon to be upset about something, finally start to feel better, then find yourself upset about something else. You might skip from issue to issue for a while, but as time goes on, you learn to better deal with all issues, not just the one your currently upset about. It takes time, and it sucks, but it does get better...

And don't feel alone, whenever you need advice, you can trust someone will be here to give it to you.

Know what sucks? When you have a dream about your ex, a good dream... and then u wake up and it seemed so real that its disappointing, just happened to me and a flood of memories just came back to me, argghhh... this isn't easy

know what sucks? when you have a dream about your ex, a good dream...and then u wake up and it seemed so real that its disappointing, just happened to me and a flood of memories just came back to me, argghhh...this isnt easy

I had a small dream of me & my ex seeing each other past 2007 winter.... It's so frustrating cause she slept on MY bed and I'm now sleeping on it...

Times like this... I just want to drink some alcohol but there's none at my sisters' place and my mom is around... *sigh*

Hey guys, it's been about 2.5 months but I broke NC. Not because I was weak, it was because I was annoyed and angry. However, I reverted back to it ASAP, I'm not going to keep track of the days because I know what I have to do.

Please read my updates so that I can use you're advice and feedback.
Thanks

hey guys, it's been about 2.5 months but i broke NC. Not because i was weak, it was because i was annoyed and angry. However, I reverted back to it ASAP, I'm not gonna keep track of the days because I know what I have to do.

Please read my updates so that I can use you're advice and feedback.
thanks

It's all right.. I broke NC after a month of no talking... my ex is an assh0le now

That's okay spion it is all about progress not perfection. Welcome back.

Yea I don't see it as a step back but rather a speed bump in the middle of a road where you slow down for a bit before you speed up once again.

I broke N/C today after a very, very long time.. and not because I was weak, because I'm over my weakness. I am over my ex-girlfriend. Now you read my posts from a few months ago and you'll see from my writing that I was in quite some pain. Anyone that doubts N/C, please, please stay strong.. it does get better.

I broke N/C with my ex today because I told her to pick up her belongings that are still at my house (I've left them outside).. and told her to bring back my belongings (because I need them).

The secret to getting over your ex is to go to a different country, relax and chill out. You will see soooo many beautiful girls, meet lots of new people. It has really helped me.

N/C - is the way forward!

I broke N/C with my ex today because I told her to pick up her belongings that are still at my house (I've left them outside).. and told her to bring back my belongings (because I need them).

I like how you wrote that. I "TOLD HER to pick up her stuff." You didn't beg, you didn't ask for another chance, you told her what she needed to do, and I'd bet money she was holding onto your stuff so that she could use to bring you back if she had to, but now she's got nothing. You got the last laugh in the end.

Yeah Chuff, and guess what she text me back?

She told me that she's not giving me back my old shirt because it reminds her of me! So I just said, "look, I really want it back, you have plenty of other things to remind you of me".

:D

Damn, can't believe I came across the thread. It's been 5 days since I stopped emailing or having any sort of contact with her. It's slowly breaking my heart to pieces. I keep wondering if she ever thinks of me and of our time together. We have been inseparable for 3 years and the memories keep on coming back to me. It's especially hard because I'm starting to pack up my stuff to move into a new place and I keep discovering little cards and love notes that she wrote to me. I can't believe this is happening. Anyway, I'd be lucky to even last one month with NC but I'm trying so hard.

Thanks for being there guys. I'm meant to be moving to America in a year after completing this year of education, but I was going to go in three weeks just to be away from him and her, however, your encouragement has made me a little stronger, and I'm not going to let him ruin my life x

know what sucks? when you have a dream about your ex, a good dream...and then u wake up and it seemed so real that its disappointing, just happened to me and a flood of memories just came back to me, argghhh...this isnt easy

I have the same dream about my ex every. Single. Night. Different things happen but the crux of it is the same, we argue, he realises how nasty he's been and we make up, never getting back together, but always good friends on the VERGE. I HATE waking up and realising it's not real.

I have the same dream about my ex every. Single. Night. Different things happen but the crux of it is the same, we argue, he realises how nasty he's been and we make up, never getting back together, but always good friends on the VERGE. I HATE waking up and realising it's not real.

Yea in my dream we got back together and everything was pretty much back to normal, I don't remember all the details just that I felt really good... and when I woke up and realized it wasn't real, I felt pretty crappy... that john mayer song is true

Ex called me again today, twice. That makes 5 times in the past week. I never answered any of them. Today he sent me a text that said "sometimes, i miss you :-'

Agh! Ofcourse you miss me, we were together for 4 years and you broke up with me 4 months ago. Duh? I know you "sometimes" miss me. What am I supposed to do about it? This breakup wasn't my choice, it was yours. There's nothing I can do to make it better!

Just had to vent. I really don't know what to do. I don't know that I'm ready for a stupid, awkward, "friendly" conversation. Sure, it'll make him feel better but I'm not sure how it'll make me feel.

With me its been a tennis game but the last couple of weeks she's been contacting me. It went 6 days of nothing. In that time her new boyfriend flew over from england (we're in ireland) to 'visit' for the weekend. 2 days after he left she asking me how I'm doing and do I want to see her. I shot her down... tramp! She's pissed now but this happened before a few weeks back. Will be a couple of days before I expect another text. We've only broke up 7 weeks! She cheated on holiday!

Damn, can't believe I came across the thread. It's been 5 days since I stopped emailing or having any sort of contact with her. It's slowly breaking my heart to pieces. I keep wondering if she ever thinks of me and of our time together. We have been inseparable for 3 years and the memories keep on coming back to me. It's especially hard b/c I'm starting to pack up my stuff to move into a new place and I keep discovering little cards and love notes that she wrote to me. I can't believe this is happening. Anyways, I'd be lucky to even last one month with NC but I'm trying so hard.

Supernova glad you are here. NC is a goal do not be too hard on yourself if it takes time to adjust to it. I, and I sure everybody else here will be pulling for you.

Hey Guys,

Im sure you don't remember me, but I was on here having problems with my ex-boyfriend and decided to give him another chance and take it slow... and just as I subconsciously predicted he burned me again.. and I dumped him for good..

So, this feels pretty crappy guys.. so now I'm back at square one with the healing, and I see a huge mountain ahead of me.. I know it will get better with time.. I just know that I feel horrible now.. I feel so much anger for him right now.. and I know it's not healthy to feel that way.. but I can't help it.. I hate life sometimes.. well thanks for listening guys...

Uhh well it's been what.. *counts* 11 days without contact, I'm missing her like crazy.. But am starting to heal, she's not such a pre-dominant thought now. But I know she will be when I talk to her next, which will be Thursday.. =/ Am dreading it..

How can she expect us to remain friends when she never treated me like one, nor did she ever have any time for me when we were going out?. I would like to say that I have no regrets in life... But uhh, this is as close to a regret that I will get..

Well anyway, I've decided to spend more time with my family and my dog. Wasn't spending enough time with them to begin with.. So this break-up could serve as a wake up call..

plonak-

I see a huge mountain ahead of me..
See it as a challenge with a very rich reward awaiting you.

PsYcHoSIS-


But I know she will be when I talk to her next, which will be Thursday.. =/ Am dreading it..


Is canceling an option??

The same dream again... lol. I'm feeling better though--ISH, it's beginning to sick in that I'm not meant to be with this boy, but my best friend he messaged her about me. I don't think I want to know what it says... should I? Or should I ask not to know? :S

Do whatever you feel is best for you. I think your better off not knowing otherwise your mind will be reeling and thinking things that might not be true. Is it worth it?

I haven't had to ask, but I wouldn't have a problem asking people not to tell me about my ex if they were beginning to. Ignorance is bliss...

Supernova,

Im going to run into the same problem too.. I'm going to be moving soon.. and I have his things everywhere in my room, even a sweatshirt of his that has his cologne on it.. how are you dealing with it?

I think I'm just going to have to get a separate box and put all the cards and teddy bears, and love notes in it and seal it up and write "do not open for a long time!" so then when I'm unpacking in my new place, I will know not to open the box, and just put it at the top of my closet and don't touch it for at least a year. Would that work for you?

Im definitely not looking forward to it.. that's for sure..

I still have a box full of stuff from my ex from almost 4 months ago. Photo album that she made me, cards, notes, pictures from my wallett - its all in the box in the back of the closet and I'll leave it there for now. I felt no reason to throw it away/destroy it as I might want to look at it in the future, but for now, the closet is fine.

Actually, I just started wearing a watch she got me for christmas again last week. I had it put away but I can wear it now and it doesn't bother me at all... It all takes time - and a little patience.

I hear you bigbird. I started wearing this diamond necklace my ex gave to me this past christmas. Best gift he ever gave me. I refused to wear it after we broke up but then last week I saw it my jewelry box and was like, "wow, its such a nice necklace, shame for it to go to waste."

It doesn't bother me at all now. It reminds of being in love in general, of course. And just reminds me that one day I will be in love again. Just not with him... again.

I still have pictures on my computer of him and I accidentally looked at them last week when I was searching for something else. I cringed at first at my mistake but then was like, whatever. Its all good.

I did the same with some pictures on my phone from a concert last Christmas. The two of us together happy hit me a little at first, then I just closed the phone and forgot about it after about 10 minutes. Its one of those little tests that gets to you a little bit, but reminds you that you are doing better...

I deleted pretty much all the text messages from my ex that has "I love you" or "<3" or "miss you" etc.


*sigh* It's so frustrating

I deleted pretty much all the text messages from my ex that has "I love you" or "<3" or "miss you" etc.


*sigh* It's so frustrating

I know how it feels hjpan. I usually do the same after a hard breakup. I go through a purging spell. The intensity of said spell, however, depends on the amount of damage inflicted on my heart. So whatever. Just do what you have to do. :) Hope everything else is good.

I know how it feels hjpan. I usually do the same after a hard breakup. I go through a purging spell. The intensity of said spell, however, depends on the amount of damage inflicted on my heart. So whatever. Just do what you have to do. :) Hope everything else is good.

Thanks =]

*sigh* I went back to my high school to visit the place...

I found out a friend of mine, who was 14 years old, died from huffing axe/tag-spray can

I deleted pretty much all the text messages from my ex that has "I love you" or "<3" or "miss you" etc.


*sigh* It's so frustrating

yea same here, I had a bunch saved to look at whenever I wanted but I immediately deleted them, I didn't want to accidentally look at them again... I still got some random stuff stashed away in my room like pictures and letters and other memories, I'm going to put them in a box sometime and just put them in the back of my closet but I'm fine now not thinking about it as long as I don't see them.

you ever notice how many breakup songs there are? I'm listening to this album I've been listening to for months and almost every song is about a post-breakup and I never noticed this before

yea same here, i had a bunch saved to look at whenever i wanted but i immediately deleted them, i didnt wanna accidentally look at em again... i still got some random stuff stashed away in my room like pictures and letters and other memories, im gonna put them in a box sometime and just put them in the back of my closet but im fine now not thinkin about it as long as i dont see them.

you ever notice how many breakup songs there are? im listening to this album ive been listening to for months and almost every song is about a post-breakup and i never noticed this b4


Same here =/

Tal, Cancelling isn't an option.. It won't be a long conversation. Just, "Hi, how are you?" I try keep it to bare minimum