Next week is our official 4 year anniversary... Gonna be interesting I am sure!!!!

Just went through that, now I have her birthday to deal with on Monday. Not really as a big a deal as I was expecting - I made it worse in my head. It's just another day... really.

Just went through that, now I have her birthday to deal with on monday. Not really as a big a deal as I was expecting - I made it worse in my head. It's just another day...really.

Hi BigBird,

I think you are doing great! Even though it is her Birthday, you will get through it, without a doubt. :)

Just went through that, now I have her birthday to deal with on monday.

And immediately I thought of the positves. No wasting your money on birthday gift or night out. Winner... You.

Guys I'm feeling horribly depressed right now...

I'm am studying for the CPA exam and while it's keeping my mind off things, i have to take a break in between things or i'd go nuts, and then i sit there and have nothing really to do.. and i can't stop thinking about him and feeling the lonelyness..

What scares me so bad is this up coming weekend.. it's gonna be the first real weekend without each other, and I always hung out with him.. and im going to have nothing to do.. most of my friends have boyfriends, and they spend time with them on the weekends.. just having that deep lonelyness is so HARD!!!! Im so scared and sad and depressed...

We have been keeping minimal contact, because I'm going to Al-anon meetings for my co-dependancy and i called him yesterday to tell him how it's been going, and i think that was a mistake, because it just drudges up old feelings.. by the time we hung up we decided not to do anymore contact.. he told me to call him when im ready to see him again (not sure if that's gonna happen) and so today i was doing pretty well, and then he called me right when i got off work to ask me a question about something (he needed it for work) and then all the feelings came back again

but as I'm writing this now, im feeling a little better.. it's so hard breaking up with someone, you all must know that.. i feel so much guilt and desperation, and pain just like you that have been dumped.. it's awful!!!

ok venting is over


Hi Plonak,

Oh honey, I know what you mean. It is hard breaking up with someone. But if I may suggest, for the weekend, go do something for YOU. How about a manicure, a pedicure, a message (spa treatment). You so deserve to be pampered, and you will feel great afterwards. I was so upset this past weekend for the same reasons, and I went and had my hair lightened (Well... also because the roots were horendous - LOL!) But, after it was done, it made me feel better. I did something for me. I don't have many friends anymore either, since they are married and moved out of state. But you know what? I have all of you, my new friends, and just knowing that I can come here and you all are here, it really makes me feel better. And we are your friends :) and you can come here anytime, and here we are :)

Follow your own advice BB...



When she broke up with you, she was making the decision to move forward in life without you. That means no calls to make her feel better, no more presents, no more dates, and no more birthday cards. Thats what she wanted, so give her what she wants.

Plonak, listen to Star...
Do something for YOU.. There's nothing wrong with doing things by yourself.. I, myself do stuff alone all the time... My friends also have BFs so they don't have time for me(not very good friends right?)... I go to the beach, movies, gym,( by myself).. sometimes it gets me so depressed but w.e.. I just shake it off and enjoy my company!.

Plonak, listen to Star...
Do something for YOU..There's nothing wrong with doing things by yourself..I, myself do stuff alone all the time...My friends also have BFs so they dont have time for me(not very good friends right?)...I go to the beach, movies, gym,( by myself)..sometimes it gets me soo depressed but w.e..i just shake it off and enjoy my company!!..

How are you today, my friend?

Guys and girls, it's great to see all of you doing so well... I am very proud to read all of your guys posts! Everyone is coming a long way, keep your heads up. Everything gets easier and you will get to the point where you wake up and your ex is an after thought.

Great post and great comments by all.

I am on day 3 of NC and I am absolutely miserable. I want to call her or e-mail but I know she will not respond. She told me Sunday night that she still loves me but needs to work on her own stuff. I said I was about to undertake the NC rule. She did not want that and said she still wanted communicate with me. So I suggested we meet for lunch on Tuesday and sent her an e-mail thanking her for the time we had together. Now I am on the third day of NC. I wish she would contact me. Of course I know she will not. She dumped me on June 8th.

Several times a day I look at my phones and e-mail hoping she will have attempted to contact me but she never has. I saw her car around town the other day and that was so hard. I miss her so much and am so sad. I know we all go through this but the pain is so intense. I just want it to stop. THANK GOD FOR YOU PEOPLE AND THIS SITE because I really hate my life at the moment. It hurts so much.

I wish all of us here all the best and hope we will finally meet the people we really deserve, Craig.

Hey Star..
Im good.. How are you?.

I'm trying, girl LOL! It's real hard at times as you know. He called the other night (after I text him earlier that day). The conversation was nice, we didn't talk about 'us', but he still wants to go to the concert, so I am really thinking hard about getting my plane tix. I really have to play this cautiously, I mean, I really want us to talk about things, and I really do want to be with him like we were planning before all of this happened, but, I need to know that he will be there for me through thick and thin so to speak, as I will be there (and always was) for him. I don't want the fantasy, I want the reality.. I want to beautiful life and love, but I do know that there are ups and downs in life and relationships, and I want him to realize that when these things happen, you don't run away, you work on it... We shall see, sweetie, we shall see... I want to jump into his arms believe me, and it's going to take every bit of strength for me not to, and not to start crying, the minute I see him...

But, as a side note? I can't wait until we (you, me, and everyone else) gets together!! I really want this to happen so badly!! And I am going to give you all a great big hug!!

F104..
I remember about a month ago I was saying the same thing: "I hate my life" (I swear).. I would check my phone every 5 seconds... I wanted him to call, text.. but he never did... I don't even look at my phone n/e more... I'm not good good but I'm better.. I don't feel so depressed all the time... I would suggest not seeing her on Tuesday.. Hang tough and with time things get better.. I thought it was impossible to feel better, but you do get to the point where it hurts less... Stick to NC!

Well if you feel like going to the concert go then... But I would say take things slow... Take it like a first date... Have fun, dance, laugh.. w.e... but don't expect much... Don't be too emotional either, you wouldn't start hugging him and crying on a first date right.. lol... Just have fun, and we'll see what happens after :)... Hope for the best,prepare for the worse


And I can't wait too meet you all either.. I'm so excited... I'm going to cry!. I'm very sentimental... trust me! :D

damaged thanks! It's funny is it not how painful this stuff is. Give me physical pain any day of the week.

We did not meet for lunch on Tuesday. But that was her decision not mine. How can a person say "I love you, I love you" and then the next day just end a relationship.

I know.. how can they?. but I think its because they may love us, but not be in love, so they just don't feel like being with us any more... It hurts though.. pretty freaking bad!

How can a person say "I love you, I love you" and then the next day just end a relationship.


Easy because love has no guarantees, or warranties.. For example I know you can name a few people in your life in which you love but can't stand to be around them. You can love from a distance, We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. We say we love money yet we spend it, We say I love you, yet we leave. We say I love life, yet we take it for granted. Loving something doesn't mean we will have it forever, but it will always be in our hearts. Remember you never loose by loving you loose when you hold back.

Well if you feel like going to the concert go then...But i would say take things slow...Take it like a first date...Have fun, dance, laugh..w.e...but don't expect much...Don't be too emotional either, you wouldn't start hugging him and crying on a first date right..lol...Just have fun, and we'll see what happens after :) ...Hope for the best,prepare for the worse


and i can't wait too meet you all either..I'm soo excited....I'm gonna cry!!..i'm very sentimental...trust me!! :D

Thank you sweetie! You are such a wonderful friend, and I cannot thank you enough. I am sentimental too. I too will cry tears of joy! I can't wait to see all of you!! :D

damaged thanks! It's funny is it not how painful this stuff is. Give me physical pain any day of the week.

We did not meet for lunch on Tuesday. But that was her decision not mine. How can a person say "I love you, I love you" and then the next day just end a relationship.

Hi F104,

I just read your initial post from the 'dating' area. Is this the younger woman, or the woman that you were engaged to? Either way, I know how painful breakups are, and I agree with you, I would rather physical pain that emotional/heartache pain any day. The best thing for you to do, is keep up with the NC and keep busy. I know sometimes it is hard to be motivated, but, you must, for your own self. By her saying 'I love you', I'm sure she does, but she doesn't know what she wants it seems. She needs to figure out what she wants, and take this time for yourself to really figure out what you really want in a relationship. What is your key important points that you look for in a woman for you.

Easy because love has no gurantees, or warranties.. For example I know you can name a few ppl in your life in which you love but can't stand to be around them. You can love from a distance,, We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them. We say we love trees, yet we cut them down. We say we love money yet we spend it, We say I love you, yet we leave. We say I love life, yet we take it for granted. Loving something doesn't mean we will have it forever, but it will always be in our hearts. Remember you never loose by loving you loose when you hold back.


Good points. It sure is a funny old world. Am trying now not to get involved in a rebound relationship.

Hi Starlite this is the yonger one. I feel so stupid for getting involved with her. I knew better, I really did. But the NC rule is a lifesaver. I am so glad for you people and this site.

The thing is i never really had any routine on the weekends, i always played it by ear, and it was usually when my Ex was avaiable that we would do something.. so now that i dont have my ex around i have nothing (except for studying) I guess i could try to see if some friends would like to hang out but it's hard again because they all want to spend time with their guys..

i don't have very many friends to begin with.. but i guess i can always make new ones. way easier said than done


Hi. Making friends can be difficult. But Al-Anon can be a great way to meet new people and friends. I too am involved in 12 step programs. Another 12 step group you may find of interest is Codependents Anonymous (CODA).

Weekends can be hard as can anytime that we used to spend with those we cared about. I don't envy having to study with your ex. That would be difficult I should think.

Hi Starlite this is the yonger one. I feel so stupid for getting involved with her. I knew better, I really did. But the NC rule is a lifesaver. I am so glad for you people and this site.

Hi F104,

Don't beat yourself up at all. This is so not your fault. You saw a nice person in her, and you wanted to give it a chance, which you did. That is really nice. Unfortunately she was not the person that you thought (again, not your fault). The fact that you tried, is so nice. You WILL meet the right woman for you, without a doubt. In the meantime, you try and keep yourself busy, and know that you are good guy with good values.

We are glad to have you here too! :)

Plonak, have you tried myspace? Or Facebook by any chance? They are great social sites to try and make friends. Where do you currently reside anyway?

I live in California

I had a myspace and took it down because it was too painful to go on, too many memories!

But last night turned out interesting.. just when I'm wallowing in myself pity, my friend tells me she is going to break up with her boyfriend and needed my comfort and I raced over and talked with her a lot of the night.. it was great! It was nice to help someone go through something that I'm going through myself.

You guys are a blessing!! NNG.. true my friend... your anniversary huh? On man... I wish days like that would just be skipped from the calender... 4 years? Oh boy I cannot even imagine I was with her only for 2 yrs... the longest I have been with anyone... but I guess in my mind I was already married to her and had a future planned etc... last night I was I felt so much pain that I think it's illegal... the legal system should maybe come up with a sanction for people that break people's heart... LOL... maybe that would make them think twice huh?? hahah... anyway it was nice so I went for a walk... funny thing is that she is keeping in touch with my sister...

Starlite thanks for the support. I have been reading your posts and you are a source of encouragement.



I live in California

I had a myspace and took it down because it was too painful to go on, too many memories!!

But last night turned out interesting.. just when I'm wallowing in my self pity, my friend tells me she is going to break up with her boyfriend and needed my comfort and i raced over and talked with her a lot of the night.. it was great!! It was nice to help someone go through something that I'm going through myself.


That is interesting. A buddy of mine broke up with his GF of 4 years a couple of days before me. So we have both been miserable together, LOL.

It really helps though to have this site of course, but to have a good friend go through the same thing, you can be there for each other and understand each others pain.

Yes plonak I agree with you there.

That is interesting. A buddy of mine broke up with his GF of 4 years a couple of days before me. So we have both been miserable together, LOL.

Its always nice to have someone to go through this with. You'll feel better eventually. At 1 month 3 weeks I will admit its still pretty hard at times and I am not anywhere near over it, but I feel soooo much better than I did before. So I know that time and nc works. And I know you are dying for her to contact you, I was just like that, I think my phone didn't leave my hand for a couple weeks. But eventually you will stop doing that. I think what you have to do is really accept its over, and as soon as that hope is gone you can truly start to get over it.

its always nice to have someone to go through this with. You'll feel better eventually. At 1 month 3 weeks I will admit its still pretty hard at times and I am not anywhere near over it, but I feel soooo much better than I did before. So I know that time and nc works. And I know you are dying for her to contact you, I was just like that, I think my phone didn't leave my hand for a couple weeks. But eventually you will stop doing that. I think what you have to do is really accept its over, and as soon as that hope is gone you can truly start to get over it.


Ah, dude your post almost made me cry. I carry my phone around with me constantly. As you see acceptance is key. I am trying to get out of mind "I will never meet another like her" and other unhelpful thoughts.

That's good... those thoughts are not helpful at all... but you are right you will never find another like her.. you will find BETTER than her :)

That's good...those thoughts are not helpful at all...but you are right you will never find another like her..you will find BETTER than her :)

Damn straight!!

That's good...those thoughts are not helpful at all...but you are right you will never find another like her..you will find BETTER than her :)

Well Said! That is so true F104. You will meet someone better for sure!! :)

You guys all rock!! I am so glad we can all find strength and positive help here.

You guys all rock!!! I am so glad we can all find strength and positive help here.

Oh absolutley! If it wasn't for all of you, I would be crying 24/7...

Everyone!! Have A Strong Good Day!! I Mean It!

Hey rocker!.
Hope you're feeling good.. & Have a strong day u 2 :)

Im trying! Lol

Thanks Rocker,

You too! Are you feeling good today?

Great post and great comments by all.

I am on day 3 of NC and I am absolutely miserable. I want to call her or e-mail but I know she will not respond. She told me Sunday night that she still loves me but needs to work on her own stuff. I said I was about to undertake the NC rule. She did not want that and said she still wanted communicate with me. So I suggested we meet for lunch on Tuesday and sent her an e-mail thanking her for the time we had together. Now I am on the third day of NC. I wish she would contact me. Of course I know she will not. She dumped me on June 8th.

Several times a day I look at my phones and e-mail hoping she will have attempted to contact me but she never has. I saw her car around town the other day and that was so hard. I miss her so much and am so sad. I know we all go through this but the pain is so intense. I just want it to stop. THANK GOD FOR YOU PEOPLE AND THIS SITE because I really hate my life at the moment. It hurts so much.

I wish all of us here all the best and hope we will finally meet the people we really deserve, Craig.


It's hard bro.
I had the urge to call my ex, but I persisted. Instead, I sat my butt for straight 20hr study for my psychology exam and guess what? I got a 'B-' over all grade as opposed to my 'D'. Not to mention, my ex broke the NC & contacted me; the funny part is she said she does not love me anymore and wants me to stop calling her or talk to her.

It's hard bro.
I had the urge to call my ex, but I persisted. Instead, I sat my butt for straight 20hr study for my psychology exam and guess what? I got a 'B-' over all grade as opposed to my 'D'. Not to mention, my ex broke the NC & contacted me; the funny part is she said she does not love me anymore and wants me to stop calling her or talk to her.

Hi HJpan,

Congratulations on your test score that is great!! You didn't call her, and she called you and said that? That is so not right of her!

It's hard bro.
I had the urge to call my ex, but I persisted. Instead, I sat my butt for straight 20hr study for my psychology exam and guess what? I got a 'B-' over all grade as opposed to my 'D'. Not to mention, my ex broke the NC & contacted me; the funny part is she said she does not love me anymore and wants me to stop calling her or talk to her.

Ah yes I have a history paper to hand in. Wonder why your ex bothered to contact you to say that. Seems mean of her.

Ah yes I have a history paper to hand in. Wonder why your ex bothered to contact you to say that. Seems mean of her.

Oh Yes... extremely mean!

Just them being selfish, it really does make them feel better to talk to us, and they really don't seem to realize the effect it might have on us... Don't give her the satisfaction hj. She wanted this break up so give it to her full force. You are no longer hers to be there for her any longer. There is only one person who matters now, YOU!

Star and Northern I agree totally. I want to be able to get to that stage too. No friends or that jazz. She wants it(break up I mean) then she can have it. I know she will be expecting me to talk to her and be all buddy next quarter. She will be so surprised when I say 'sorry I am busy can't talk now'.


Of course she still has a key to my apartment. I hope she just throws it away as I am not about to ask for it back.

I am no expert in this area but as far as the key goes, I would just drop in on her where she works or hangs out or whatever, be polite, say hello and not loudly but just say "Since we are no longer seeing each other, I dropped by to get my key." Hopefully, she won't say, "I don't have it with me right now" but will be surprised enough to get her purse and get the key. You don't want the key floating around some where... unless you just choose to change the locks, which would eliminate your need to get the key from her.

Of course she still has a key to my apartment. I hope she just throws it away as I am not about to ask for it back.


CHANGE THE LOCKS EASY You don't need any reason to call her...

Going to her job or calling her about a key would just make you seem immature and bitter trust me as a woman... You will be the laughing stalk. She will call up all her girlfriends and say "could you believe he wanted his keys, he just want a reason to call" etc.. etc.. Lol sorry but just don't do it..

Going to her job or calling her about a key would just make you seem immature and bitter trust me as a woman... You will be the laughing stalk. She will call up all her girlfriends and say "could you believe he wanted his keys, he just want a reason to call" etc.. etc.. lol sorry but just don't do it..


True enough. Thanks. I guess the locks will be changed. Your right too, all I am looking for is a reason to break NC. Yet if I broke NC I would feel terrible about myself.

True enough. Thanks. I guess the locks will be changed. Your right too, all I am looking for is a reason to break NC. Yet if I broke NC I would feel terrible about myself.

I knew you were looking for a reason... We all do some men go as far as taking everything they ever brought you back.

True enough. Thanks. I guess the locks will be changed. Your right too, all I am looking for is a reason to break NC. Yet if I broke NC I would feel terrible about myself.

When your highly emotional you justify to yourself that if you contact her, she'll see the error of her ways or she will miss you so much that she is waiting for you to call her. It works in movies and on TV but in real life it always makes things worse. For one, you are emotional and women have you cornered on emotions and two it comes off as desperate, no matter how cool you think you are acting at the time. Then after it's all over, you will realize the mistake you made, and feel terrible and she looks great.

F104,

Do you really think that her having the key is a big enough problem to need to change the locks? I mean, I have a key to my ex's house on my key ring still, but I would never think of going into her house. Matter of fact, I know the garage door code too, I'm sure they didn't change it and she won't ask me too.

Is there really a risk?

F104,

Do you really think that her having the key is a big enough problem to need to change the locks? I mean, I have a key to my ex's house on my key ring still, but I would never think of going into her house. Matter of fact, I know the garage door code too, im sure they didn't change it and she won't ask me too.

Is there really a risk??

I bow out gracefully from this thread! I really missed the mark. I am coming from the perspective of someone who had their house set on fire, car burned, etc. I apologize. I was really off the mark of normal response. I do apologize to all on this thread. I generally feel I have perspective but on this I did not.

I agree with most guys here! Don't bother ask her for the key to your place. She broke up and she has the upper end initially and we are the ones dying now. In the long run, she will realize her loss, but it won't even matter at that point... stick to NC... we will all heal.. the annoying things when!! I have to say thanks to all you wonderful peeps here... even though I don't write much on here, I have been reading all your posts... and it helps to know that we are all in this together... you guys rock... ok I'm wiped out, just finished playing soccer for the past 2 hrs after an hr of workout earlier... not time to think about her...

Thank you all so much. I will not do anything. Much better to bring my emotional ideas here. Thanks so much to you all.

Mods This Thread Should Become A Sticky!

I bow out gracefully from this thread! I really missed the mark. I am coming from the perspective of someone who had their house set on fire, car burned, etc. I apologize. I was really off the mark of normal response. I do apologize to all on this thread. I generally feel I have perspective but on this I did not.

In your case... yes change the locks :p

Sorry if I was generalizing, just trying to give a different perspective.

I know how easy it is to make problems seem MUCH larger then they really are...

YeaF104,

I got my ex's key, and I know her home security code. She's also got my garage door code. I'd say 99% of the time you don't have to worry about stuff like that. I wouldn't blow it out of proportion. Don't sweat the small stuff, little things are going to seem like a bigger deal when you are feeling like this.

I agree with the sticky, it's the first one I look for when I sign in.

Hope everybody is feeling good!

I was watching Fraiser as I was falling asleep tonight and he dropped this quote from Sigmund Freud... Caught my ears right away! It just proves that the way all of us are feeling is normal. Kind of cheesy again but what can I say, these things make me feel better, and hopefully they can for someone else.


"We are never so helplessly unhappy as when we lose love." -SIGMUND FREUD

Thought id drop in and tell you all about my good night. I went to my buddys, sister's graduation. It was great seeing familiar faces considering I graduated last year. Anyway as ou may know graduations can be long and boring unless you're a parent shedding tears for their child or young adult. Anyway me and my buddy met two girls outside the gates of the graduation ceremony. They didn't have tickets and couldn't get in. We talked to them and decided we would walk over and get some food. Long story short we end up hanging out for a few hours and getting their numbers. So like cuff said awhile ago, there are people interested in you out their, but you won't see them unless your ready to.

Good news classic,

You are right. I'm sure there are people out there, you've just got to be in the right place at the right time to find it.

I still haven't found anyone that floats my boat yet, but I'm just going with the flow, and doing my own thing now. Been jive dancing for 3 months now, and its great fun. Gets me out meeting new people.

Been the hardest 6 months of my life post breakup, but I'm determined to come out stronger, and will I'm sure one day meet someone special again.

Keep up the good work all, I read all the posts, you guys are great.

I was watching Fraiser as i was falling asleep tonight and he dropped this quote from Sigmund Freud... Caught my ears right away! It just proves that the way all of us are feeling is normal. Kinda cheesy again but what can I say, these things make me feel better, and hopefully they can for someone else.


"We are never so helplessly unhappy as when we lose love." -SIGMUND FREUD

I love Frasier. That quote is so appropriate. Good one!

"We are never so helplessly unhappy as when we lose love." -SIGMUND FREUD


I agree with Freud!!

Morning fellow travelers on the road of NC. If it was not for you all I would have totally attempted to call my ex ha! Thanks to you all I have had NC since Monday morning and although I miss her and at times feel lonely I know I can come here and vent. I also admit that not contacting her gives me a feeling of control over my actions and thoughts which is important in my recovery process. I even iM a guy from this site who is going through a situation almost exactly the same as mine. AGain thanks to you all.

Its FRIDAY 13th:eek:

How are you all??

OH chite so it is! Actually I think this Friday will be better than last Friday as that was when, looking back that things started to go a little weird with my ex.

I'm glad it will be better!!

Its FRIDAY 13th:eek:

How are you all???


Not too bad thanks, had a bit of a moment earlier, just thinking of my ex. Still miss her really, but just moving on as best as I can. May go out tonight with a couple of mates, and looking forward to the weekend. How you been doing?

I love that quote! How true that statement is!

I love Frasier too. Also I have a love for Seattle. I took myself away in the summer of 2005 after the first breakup with E and I and it was so beautiful there and very theraputic. It only rained once! LOL! If you all ever need a break from where you live, go to Seattle. I can't describe it, or really know exactly what it was that made me feel good, it's just beautiful though. I guess that is another reason why the locals refer to it as the 'Emerald City'. I don't know :)

thought id drop in and tell you all about my good night. I went to my buddys, sister's graduation. It was great seeing familiar faces considering i graduated last year. Anyways as ou may know graduations can be long and boring unless your a parent shedding tears for their child or young adult. anyways me and my buddy met two girls outside the gates of the graduation ceremony. they didnt have tickets and couldnt get in. We talked to them and decided we would walk over and get some food. long story short we end up hanging out for a few hours and getting their numbers. So like cuff said awhile ago, their are people interested in you out their, but you wont see them unless your ready to.

Good for you, Rocker! :) I am glad to see that you are out having fun, and meeting people.

I've been doing Okay... for some reason I miss him :(... but its okay, I know things will get better.. I HATE THIS!! :(

I've been doing Okay...for some reason i miss him :( ....but its okay, i know things will get better..I HATE THIS!!!!!! :(


Yes they will get better and eventually you will meet a man who deserves you. Of course that is of little comfort at the moment. Are you able to spend time with friends over the weekend? Have you had the chance to spoil yourself with say ice cream of something that you really enjoy. I think it is important that we treat ourselves during this time.

Star I used to live in Seattle it is a cool town.

Good to see Rocker is getting out and about. You go mate!

Its certainly not easy. First experience of a breakup, and I was in deep so feel like I lost a lot. But in the end, they let us go, so it's their loss, and our chance to find someone who is better and will really appreciate us for who we are. Def not a quick way out, but I'm going out and trying to meet new people etc. no pressure, id rather be single than just rebound with nothing to give to another relationship.

We should all get out and in the mix over the weekend, put smiles on those faces!

Hi Guys,

Jpm - You are taking a great approach! It is great that you are going out there and trying to meet new people! Good for you! Like you said, take your time, a rebound relationship is not the best thing, you are right. Go have fun this weekend!

Damaged - I'm sorry you are feeling down. I know, I am missing my ex too. I hate these sad feelings that we all have. It really sucks (to put it mildly).

F104 - Are you from Washington? Yes, Seattle is very cool! I was only there for a week, but what an impact it made :)

It is up and down.

Some days your up, then something just halts you, and your down. It is a rollercoaster, but you've just got to hang on, as the end of the ride will be a great place to get too!

it is up and down.

some days your up, then something just halts you, and your down. it is a rollercoaster, but you've just got to hang on, as the end of the ride will be a great place to get too!

I like that analogy, JPM, thank you :) and I hope the end of the ride is near LOL!

Yes they will get better and eventually you will meet a man who deserves you. Of course that is of little comfort at the moment. Are you able to spend time with friends over the weekend? Have you had the chance to spoil yourself with say ice cream of something that you really enjoy. I think it is important that we treat ourselves during this time.



Thanks for the support... :)

I barely hang out with my friends... They're always busy.. w.e... most of the time I do things by myself... I don't mind but sometimes it gets to me... im usually pretty happy, but I have those sucky days when I feel down and kind of lonely but that's normal... ne ways I know this will soon pass... :o

It deff is a ROLLERCOASTER RIDE!. but we know everything will be okay at the end...

Thanx for the support...:)

I barely hang out with my friends...They're always busy..w.e...most of the time i do things by myself...i dont mind but sometimes it gets to me...im usually pretty happy, but i have those sucky days when i feel down and kinda lonely but thats normal...ne ways i know this will soon pass... :o


Yep, I think we all know what you mean about the sucky times. Just have to put a brave face on, and dig deep, knowing that in the end, the good times will be back around that corner.

Today is not a good day for me.. I don't know what's wrong... For some reason I feel sad... I have never in my life felt as bad as this last months...

Thanx for the support...:)

I barely hang out with my friends...They're always busy..w.e...most of the time i do things by myself...i dont mind but sometimes it gets to me...im usually pretty happy, but i have those sucky days when i feel down and kinda lonely but thats normal...ne ways i know this will soon pass... :o

damaged do you swim or run or like exercising? Sometimes that can help even if it is only a walk.
Only to happy to offer my support. It is a two way street. I just want to try abd return the help you and others here have so freely given me. :)

Starlite1 in answer to your question I am from New Zealand originally. My father's family is from the Seattle area. When I first moved to the USA I lived there for 2 years.:D

Jpm I agree with going out over the weekend. Like you I am not looking for a rebound relationship but I do like being around people. I will be too as soon as I get this homework done and out of the way. My ex does not deserve the time or space I am letting her rent in my head.;)

Today is not a good day for me..I don't know whats wrong...For some reason i feel sad...I have never in my life felt as bad as this last months....

You were hurt so it is okay to feel sad and upset. That is normal. At least you are here with us so you are in good company. Your ex messed up and one day he will realise it but then it will be too late for him. I write a list of the things that my ex did that made me upset of angry and when I start feeling sorrow and nostaligic ove the relationship I can pull it out and look at it. It really helps a lot. You may want to consider it. I find it to be a useful tool to carry around with me.

I call my list "Things my ex(name) did that hurt my feelings."

You are in good company here. We are all in this together.

You-damaged
Me-f104
Star
Jpm
Classic
chuff
Numb-who started this thread
Bigbird
NNG
Rebel
gg23
The list just goes on and on and on.

I do love to swim.. I go to the beach very often... I'm always pretty busy with work & school... and its awesome... I don't have much free time to think about him, but I have my days when I feel sad, and lonely, & some of those days I wish I still had him.. that only happens some days... but I'm seriously going through the worst moments of my life! :/

damaged do you swim or run or like exercising? Sometimes that can help even if it is only a walk.
Only to happy to offer my support. It is a two way street. I just want to try abd return the help you and others here have so freely given me. :)

Starlite1 in answer to your question I am from New Zealand originally. My father's family is from the Seattle area. When I first moved to the USA I lived there for 2 years.:D

jpm I agree with going out over the weekend. Like you I am not looking for a rebound relationship but I do like being around people. I will be too as soon as I get this homework done and out of the way. My ex does not deserve the time or space I am letting her rent in my head.;)

Very true, I like the renting space bit. Her lease is terminated. No rooms left at the inn!

Damaged - I'm on day 100ish of NC now, and the only thing I can say, is that at your stage I still felt crap. I still have bad moments as opposed to days now. I guess you just get used to being on your own again, just looking after you. Its natural to feel pants when a large part of your life has gone. But you are young, and can rebuild it into something better.

Its not easy to be positive sometimes, and a bit of exercise always goes down well, even if it is like a run or a jog or a walk round the block.

I wish there was pill we could all take, to make the pain go away, but I think that we need to go through it, at least once maybe more to come out the other side, to experience the pain.

Its natural remedies only I'm afraid. Takes time, but I feel better now. Still miss my ex, but I can't live in the past, I can only take things one day at a time, and see what comes my way.

You won't always be down, I know that for sure!

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes.. not so we can get back.. I don't want him back! but just so he could see how it feels... but I believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***.. wat goes around comes around!.

You were hurt so it is okay to feel sad and upset. That is normal. At least you are here with us so you are in good company. Your ex messed up and one day he will realise it but then it will be too late for him. I write a list of the things that my ex did that made me upset of angry and when I start feeling sorrow and nostaligic ove the relationship I can pull it out and look at it. It really helps alot. You may want to consider it. I find it to be a useful tool to carry around with me.

I call my list "Things my ex(name) did that hurt my feelings."

You are in good company here. We are all in this together.

You-damaged
Me-f104
Star
jpm
classic
chuff
numb-who started this thread
bigbird
NNG
rebel
gg23
the list just goes on and on and on.

Amen to that.

Too many to mention,

Rome
Sneeze
West

Hope you guys are doing good.

I went to a frat party with a friend of mine. I ended up doing stupid stuff... I drove in my friends car with an expired permit & DUI

I have no idea why.. =/


anyways, I wanted to call my ex but I suppressed the urge =/
It was because 06/12 was the day when I lost my v-card to my ex...

I went to a frat party with a friend of mine. I ended up doing stupid stuff... I drove in my friends car with an expired permit & DUI

I have no idea why.. =/


anyways, I wanted to call my ex but I suppressed the urge =/
It was because 06/12 was the day when I lost my v-card to my ex...


Also, you might have wanted to call her because you felt bad for being a dumb a$$ the other night. I am sure you don't need me to tell you, but bud you really don't need problems like that at this stage in the game. Use the ol head next time. And I say that as a friend.

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes..not so we can get back..i don't want him back!, but just so he could see how it feels...but i believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***..wat goes around comes around!!...

I know what you mean damaged, I feel the same way. And what does give me some comfort is knowing that the next guy has some pretty big shoes to fill. I've been told that one day she'll contact me out of the blue, just to see what's going on because she will feel like she let a good thing go. The thought kind of makes me feel better but in reality who cares. And like you said, karmas a B*****, chances are they are going to go through something like this themselves.

This may sound mean but I hope he realizes..not so we can get back..i don't want him back!, but just so he could see how it feels...but i believe in KARMA.. & she's a B***..wat goes around comes around!!...



Karma, she always have the last say. Besides you are a beautiful young woman, I will trade places with you for a day, and you can have my life for a day. Deal or no deal? Lol

I need some encouragement. I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago. You can see the story by looking up my profile. Her main problem was trust issues, she was snooping in my journal, stalking my ex's myspace profile and hacking my email passwords even though I never gave her any cause for suspicions or cheated on her. Then after numerous dumpings, I joined an online dating site after the last breakup to help me move on. Since she hacked my email passwords, she saw my messages and called me accusing me of "betrayal" and proving her suspicions to be true. Anyway, that's a brief recap.

I had a date yesterday with another girl and it didn't go well. She had low energy and wasn't spontaneous, like my ex, which made me just miss my ex more, despite all the crazy things she did. I was constantly comparing her to my ex. I feel this overwhelming desire to email her and tell her that despite what she thinks I only put up an online profile because she pushed me away and she was constantly breaking up with me, rather than because I couldn't wait to be with a new woman.

I know this would be a bad idea since nothing good would come of it, but I need some encouragement to prevent me from doing it. Any analysis and insight would be appreciated!

Sure, its always fun experiencing new things..
We got a deal.. lol

I need some encouragement. I broke up with my ex 2 weeks ago. You can see the story by looking up my profile. Her main problem was trust issues, she was snooping in my journal, stalking my ex's myspace profile and hacking my email passwords even though I never gave her any cause for suspicions or cheated on her. Then after numerous dumpings, I joined an online dating site after the last breakup to help me move on. Since she hacked my email passwords, she saw my messages and called me accusing me of "betrayal" and proving her suspicions to be true. Anyway, that's a brief recap.

I had a date yesterday with another girl and it didn't go well. She had low energy and wasn't spontaneous, like my ex, which made me just miss my ex more, despite all the crazy things she did. I was constantly comparing her to my ex. I feel this overwhelming desire to email her and tell her that despite what she thinks I only put up an online profile because she pushed me away and she was constantly breaking up with me, rather than because I couldn't wait to be with a new woman.

I know this would be a bad idea since nothing good would come of it, but I need some encouragement to prevent me from doing it. Any analysis and insight would be appreciated!


NO NO NO NO and NO, your ex was controlling, untrusting, manipulative, she has you to the point where you think that it was healthy! It is not healthy, violating privacy, snooping, accusations. It is sick, and jealousy has no room in Love's house. Perhaps you need the low energy, obviously the ex was a little too hyper. Listen, you can think about your ex it's a perfect part of healing but in your case it is not wise to go there again. Your relationship was in fact not a real true relationship. There was no trust, and she was far too jealous it seems and possesive. Do you really want someone like your ex? DO you like to not have any privacy? Dignity? Trust? ALways worrying about if she will trust you from minute to minute. Keep thinking about how you deeply felt in that relationship with her, and consider it over. I think you need to just take this time to focus on yourself. And not date anyone at the moment.

NNG I have been told the same thing. I have been told I did nothing wrong and I do believe I did the very best I could with her and that feels really good. I know I will see her around campus but that's okay I will deal with it when it happens.

Freeatlast glad you are here. This is a good place for people undergoing hard times with broken relationships to be. The people here are understanding, supportive and considerate. Your in the right place I firmly believe it. The NC thing really helps out a lot. It is hard at times but it is rewarding overall. I am so glad I have not contacted my ex. I really am, well at least at the moment I am. In another hour I could be crying all over again like have been on and off for the past 4 days.

jolienoire is totally correct. Your ex is being very controlling and you need better than that.

Don't get discouraged because the date didn't go well.. Its going to happen some times.. It's not nice to compare.. We're all different in so many ways.. I don't think you would like to be compared either... Give chances... you just got to be open minded and just have fun.. Meet people, it doesn't matter if you don't see them as a possible mate, they can become a good friend..
& about the email: forget about it... You don't need to explain anything to her... & you're right, nothing will come out of it.. so why put yourself through that?. Leave things how they are, and what she thinks its her business... focus on YOU!

Please people enjoy your lives while you are young, I was married at 18, divorced, children,All before I even turned 30. It's rough, and why you don't have any "attatchments" release yourself, and be thankful that you can just walk away with memories. It is essential that you put yourself first because the only person who will love you as much as you need is yourself.

freeatlast1
Your wasting your time with this nut job, as she is obsessive, and will turn anything you say against you. Also realize the trauma you have been through, and know it will be a while before you can really be ready for the company of real healthy humans, so take the healing process very seriously, and follow the suggestions in the stickies. There are links in my signature.

NO NO NO NO and NO, your ex was controlling, untrusting, manipulative, she has you to the point where you think that it was healthy! It is not healthy, violating privacy, snooping, accusations. It is sick, and jealousy has no room in Love's house. Perhaps you need the low energy, obviously the ex was a little too hyper. Listen, you can think about your ex it's a perfect part of healing but in your case it is not wise to go there again. Your relationship was infact not a real true relationship. There was no trust, and she was far too jealous it seems and possesive. Do you really want someone like your ex? DO you like to not have any privacy? Dignity? trust? ALways worrying about if she will trust you from minute to minute. Keep thinking about how you deeply felt in that relationship with her, and consider it over. I think you need to just take this time to focus on yourself. And not date anyone at the moment.

Jollienoire,

Thanks for your response. This is the kind of feedback I need. To clarify, I don't think it was healthy, I know it was very, very sick, so believe me, I don't think that. I'm just in pain now and going through withdrawal, which is why I need the encouragement.

Thanks!

Lol... She prob knows where we all live and she's going to come and beat us up.. lol... J/K :D

freeatlast1
Your wasting your time with this nut job, as she is obsessive, and will turn anything you say against you. Also realize the trauma you have been thru, and know it will be a while before you can really be ready for the company of real healthy humans, so take the healing process very seriously, and follow the suggestions in the stickies. There are links in my signature.

Talaniman,

You are so right! This has been traumatic and has upset me so much that I've been rushing to start dating other people to get over it all. I just need to be alone and focus on myself.

lol...She prob knows where we all live and shes gonna come and beat us up..lol...J/K :D

I changed all my passwords and have had no verbal or in-person communication for 2 weeks and no written communication for almost a week. Maybe she has some remote way of cracking my passwords without having direct access to my computer, but I don't know.

Hey you guys have been so helpful. I have another question. Obviously things weren't like this when we first started. She did ask a lot of questions about my ex, etc in the beginning but I thought she was just very interested in me. Things only slowly got progressively worse until they became hellacious.

So my question is what are the red flags to look for and when and what do you do to stop this kind of behavior in its tracks before it gets too far? I'm talking about going forward, in the future.

lol...She prob knows where we all live and shes gonna come and beat us up..lol...J/K :D

Lmao

Hey you guys have been so helpful. I have another question. Obviously things weren't like this when we first started. She did ask a lot of questions about my ex, etc in the beginning but I thought she was just very interested in me. Things only slowly got progressively worse until they became hellacious.

So my question is what are the red flags to look for and when and what do you do to stop this kind of behavior in its tracks before it gets too far? I'm talking about going forward, in the future.


OPEN COMMUNICATION, first of all your past relationship is none of her business, Me personally I do not like to hear about the old baggage of your last relationship. It's a reason why they are an ex. In fact her insecurities were never your fault, and there is usually nothing you can do to prevent someone from being the way the choose. You know when a relationship is unhealthy. From day one you should establish what you are willing to accept, and although its pretty hard because usually within the first three months you are meeting their representative. You just have to listen, be honest follow your intuition and be open, If you are uncomfortable with something establish grounds with the person you are dating by letting them know when it first happens.I can go on and on, but THE most key things in any relationship is communication, and TRUST.

OPEN COMMUNICATION, first of all your past relationship is none of her business, Me personally I do not like to hear about the old baggage of your last relationship. It's a reason why they are an ex. In fact her insecurities were never your fault, and there is usually nothing you can do to prevent someone from being the way the choose. You know when a relationship is unhealthy. From day one you should establish what you are willing to accept, and although its pretty hard because usually within the first three months you are meeting their representative. You just have to listen, be honest follow your intuition and be open, If you are uncomfortable with something establish grounds with the person you are dating by letting them know when it first happens.I can go on and on, but THE most key things in any relationship is communication, and TRUST.

I agree! However don't be totally turned away if you get into a relationship and she brings up your ex. Pretty much everyone I know can't help themselves but to be a little curious about your past. If it persist though, then I think there is a problem. Jolienoire is totally right though, its all about cummunication and trust.

I know I have asked an a 'round about' way about ex's of my boyfriends. But I never made it a habit, nor did I pry deep (like obsession).

Well everybody, tomorrow is the day... Don't know if you remember but I am going skydiving. I don't think I will think of her once while I am falling from 3000 feet. I am terrified, I will admit, but I think its going to make me feel on top of the world. Its kind of funny how I spontaneously booked this days after our break-up because I felt I needed something crazy to take my mind off things. Haha I am not going to get one bit of sleep tonight. :s

I will post a picture of it when I get back! Hope everybody has a good night and day tomorrow, wish me luck!

OMG that's so exciting!. You're going to have a blast!. Hope you enjoy your day and come back safe :) take lots of pics... We want to see your face.. lol

Well everybody, tomorrow is the day.... Don't know if you remember but I am going skydiving. I don't think I will think of her once while I am falling from 3000 feet. I am terrified, I will admit, but I think its going to make me feel on top of the world. Its kinda funny how I spontaneously booked this days after our break-up because I felt I needed something crazy to take my mind off things. haha I am not going to get one bit of sleep tonight. :s

I will post a picture of it when I get back! Hope everybody has a good night and day tomorrow, wish me luck!


That is awesome mate. Good for you.

I have had a horrid afternoon. I met a very good friend for lunch and have been in tears for the last 2-3 hours. I hate being without my ex.:(

Well everybody, tomorrow is the day.... Don't know if you remember but I am going skydiving. I don't think I will think of her once while I am falling from 3000 feet. I am terrified, I will admit, but I think its going to make me feel on top of the world. Its kinda funny how I spontaneously booked this days after our break-up because I felt I needed something crazy to take my mind off things. haha I am not going to get one bit of sleep tonight. :s

I will post a picture of it when I get back! Hope everybody has a good night and day tomorrow, wish me luck!

Oh Man! Have a great time NNG! And Be Careful, Please! Definatley post pics, I can't wait to see them! :) :D

NNG! That's great!
When we advised you to distract yourself, we meant see a movie, or get a new electronic, or even just see friends and family. We didn't mean go jump out of a plane... LOL. Just joking,I hope you have fun!
My uncle skydives and says is the best feeling ever. He's gone several times, and has come back safe evertime, so there is nothing to fear. GOOD LUCK! :) I just hipe you aren't afraid of heights...

I have had a horrid afternoon. I met a very good friend for lunch and have been in tears for the last 2-3 hours. I hate being without my ex.:(

We're here for you... It's good that you got out to see a friend though. Did something happen during the lunch that initated the tears?
And don't worry, this is just a rough patch, I'm sure you'll get through it. Time heals all wounds.

that is awesome mate. Good for you.

I have had a horrid afternoon. I met a very good friend for lunch and have been in tears for the last 2-3 hours. I hate being without my ex.:(

Hi F104,

I am so sorry. I wish I was able to snap my fingers and make the pain go away. I would do that for all of us. I know it's hard sweetie. Do you have plans for the weekend? I would definitely suggest going out and doing something for you, something that will be all for you, and all about you. I don't know if you have any, or like them, and this may sound crazy, but, what about getting a tattoo? Design one out yourself, something that totally is a reflection of you, draw it out as best you can, and maybe get it. I had a friend that did that; he was going through a real rough time over a break-up some years back, and that is what he did. It was something totally for himself.

jrsg thanks mate. Yeah he and I were talking about relationships. He is a great friend and I often talk to him. I can talk to him about anything. So I was talking to him about my ex and I just burst into tears again. I was doing so well until he and I started talking.

He said "well she maybe suffering as much as you are." I replied "Oh I hope not as this hurts so much and I don't want her to suffer like this." I am not sure if that is progress or not. But my emotions are in such a flux at the moment.

Hi F104,

I am so sorry. I wish I was able to snap my fingers and make the pain go away. I would do that for all of us. I know it's hard sweetie. Do you have plans for the weekend? I would definately suggest going out and doing something for you, something that will be all for you, and all about you. I don't know if you have any, or like them, and this may sound crazy, but, what about getting a tattoo? Design one out yourself, something that totally is a reflection of you, draw it out as best you can, and maybe get it. I had a friend that did that; he was going through a real rough time over a break-up some years back, and that is what he did. It was something totally for himself.


Starlite1 wow! Thanks. A tattoo that is exactly what I was thinking about getting! But yes I will be spending the weekend between friends and homework. But yes I think I am going to get a big tattoo. I even shaved my head yesterday.

I wish this pain would leave for all of us too.

Starlite1 wow! Thanks. A tattoo that is exactly what I was thinking about getting! But yes I will be spending the weekend between friends and homework. But yes I think I am going to get a big tattoo. I even shaved my head yesterday.

I wish this pain would leave for all of us too.

Good for you, F104! I say, go for it :) and I wish you a wonderful weekend, full of happiness and peace!

Thanks mate and the same goes for you.

jrsg thanks mate. Yeah he and I were talking about relationships. He is a great friend and I often talk to him. I can talk to him about anything. So I was talking to him about my ex and I just burst into tears again. I was doing so well until he and I started talking.

He said "well she maybe suffering as much as you are." I replied "Oh I hope not as this hurts so much and I don't want her to suffer like this." I am not sure if that is progress or not. But my emotions are in such a flux at the moment.

In my opinion, talking is very good. I have my friend who I confide in. I tell him everything about me, what I feel, and what I want to do. He doesn't always give good advice, but he is always supportive, and listens. Sometimes its good to get things out.

And as for if you've 'progressed' or not, that depends on what you consider progress. I've been reading your posts, and you seem to be progressing. This, like I said, is just a rough patch.

One thing you definitely need to do is stop thinking about her. DISTRACT YOURSELF! I have to distract myself bigtime over this weekend. My ex is going to the beach with some guy... :(. I try not to think about what's going to happen.

So, I wish you luck in getting through this. Your doing good so far! Just keep coming to this site, it helps me out a lot to talk on this forum.

The pain will leave one day... & everything will be okay... and then you will remember this day and laugh.. everything will just be a memory.. nothing more!. We got to be patient...

JR how do you know what your ex has planned for the weekend?

Thanks jrsg. Your right about doing things that will distract me from my ex.

I hope you will get this weekend okay too. That would be hard to deal with. How did you find out about it?

Damage your right. How is your day going now? Better than it was earlier I hope.

Yea its better... :)

How are you feeling?

Good. Seems as though you and I have flip flopped for the day. :)

Lol... apparently :D

Are you doing anything tonight or staying home. I may go and visit friends in a bit. It will be hard as the last time I saw them my ex was with me. They all liked and will be asking questions. Yuck!

Thanks jrsg. Your right about doing things that will distract me from my ex.

I hope you will get this weekend okay too. That would be hard to deal with. How did you find out about it?

Well, a bit of background info here first. I couldn't really play the NC card with my last relationship. I am in high school, and my girlfriend was in 3 of my 4 classes (how we met). We sit next to each other in all 3 classes, and partnered up on projects together in all classes. So, after we broke up, it was awkward to say the least. But, we kind of had to make a friendship work, as we are around each other for 5 hours a day, 5 days a week.

We have actually done a good job of building a friendship, and we get along well now. I still like her, but she doesn't know it. I figure summer break is coming, and if I need to, NC can happen then. As for seeing her everyday, NC is a little hard to initiate, without outright ignoring her, so we still talk.

Anyways, the way I figured out about the beach thing with a random guy was that she told me. I'm glad she can still talk to me about anything though. And another thing, the "random guy" is the guy she dated before me...

It'll be tough, but I am distracting myself... seeing the grandparents! Thanks for the well wishing.

I have to work... I have a part time job as a bartender, so I get out of my first job then go to the 2nd.. Im pretty busy :D... & about you: go and enjoy being with your friends.. If they ask about her tell them we broke up and I'd rather not talk about her... but if you feel like talking then talk.. they're friends.. but try to have fun... Life is too short to be anything but happy :)...

Its not nice that she can talk to you about anything... because your feeling like crap knowing she'll be going out with some other guy.. You should seriously consider NC over the summer.. What grade are you in?. Are you graduating?

Well guys I'm on my way out.. I hope you have a wonderful Friday night.. Have lots of fun.. & don't worry about the people who don't worry about you!.

I'll talk to you guys tomorrow... HAVE FUN!! <3 u all

Have a good one.

I don't know what day it is, I don't keep track of NC anymore. You know what I realized, you can have soooo much fun and enjoy yourself when you are busy and seeing friends etc. But the moment I'm alone thoughts of my ex start to pop up. It annoys me a lot and I'm trying to find ways to keep myself busy while being along

Day 9 of NC --> No Contact..

the urge is slowly dying

That is good to hear. Well done.

Hey guys guess what? One thing I am realizing that being single has it good thing after all!! since my break up, I decided to do things just spontaneously... about two weeks ago I took 5 days off and went on a road trip with some friends to NYC... it was such a blast!! and in 19 days I am also going skydiving, then scuba diving... ins't that interesting... hehe? And o get to play soccer and work out everyday and work so I am busy busy busy..! I go boxing, and just hang out with friends and play tons of video games... and now that the Euro 2008 is on, I get to watch all the games... and it helps that my ex is like 3 hours away... so I won't get to see her... the only thing that suck is the memories I have with her in this town.. but in time that will all go away!!

hey guys guess what? one thing i am realizing that being single has it good thing after all!!!since my break up, i decided to do things just spontaneously...about two weeks ago i took 5 days off and went on a road trip with some friends to NYC....it was such a blast!!!and in 19 days i am also going skydiving, then scuba diving...ins't that interesting....hehe?? and o get to play soccer and work out everyday and work so i am busy busy busy....!!! i go boxing, and just hang out with friends and play tons of video games...and now that the Euro 2008 is on, i get to watch all the games....and it helps that my ex is like 3 hours away...so i won't get to see her...the only thing that suck is the memories i have with her in this town..but in time that will all go away!!!

Its great to see that you're doing well, gg23! I hope you have fun skydiving, and scuba diving, and whatever other '_______diving' you are doing! Lol.

Grrrr... it's late and I'm up. Anybody else there? Lol

Yea dollarman, I'm up lol. How you doing today/tonight

So basically found out that my ex hooked up with another guy at another party... wow she's changing... sickening

Had the most random text message last night.. my ex texted me at 2.30 AM just as I was getting to bed after a bit of a mad night at the local pub with her new number again! We texted for a while, just catching up on things and she left the conversation by telling me to contact her soon and not to be a stranger..

We were both very nice to each other (we split up together, none of us got dumped), but this was the 3rd time she contacted me with her new number after she told me she was getting a new number so we couldn't talk!

so basically found out that my ex hooked up with another guy at another party...wow shes changing....sickening

I wouldn't worry about it, our ex's seem to go through that stage of hooking up with every other person after they turn single. That's just the way it goes.. just concentrate on yourself, not on someone that dumped you.

I wouldn't worry about it, our ex's seem to go through that stage of hooking up with every other person after they turn single. That's just the way it goes.. just concentrate on yourself, not on someone that dumped you.


So very true. I was reading your post about your ex and her changing numbers and then she calls you. Do you find that hard to deal with?

CLASSICROCKER hang in there mate. I am not looking forward to finding out that my ex is hooking up with other guys. I know that day is coming but I am not looking forward to it.

You don't have to find that out f104, don't check her Myspace/Bebo/Facebook, whatever. Definitely don't ask her and don't talk to mutual friends about her and you won't find out anything.

Yeah I did at the start, just very confusing.. I don't know what she's playing at!

DazT your right. I am trying to avoid all interactions with her whatsoever. How is your day going?

F104,

DazT is right. Stay away from things like this and you should be able to keep yourself from finding out anything about her, it really helps.

By staying away from those things, you are allowed to not think about her as much, and stay away from those things which might set you back in getting better...

DazT your right. I am trying to avoid all interactions with her whatsoever. How is your day going?

Good on you pal! Yeah, it's going good. Positive thinking like I do most days, going out with friends later so just wasting time until that time comes. How about you?

How long you been broke up with your woman?

Hey guys,
My ex girlfriend is at the beach today... with the guy that she dated before me. I NEED TO DISTRACT MYSELF. I don't even want to think about what is happening. So, I will be on this lovely site today until one of my friends calls me up.

Why not call them up? Don't wait for them to call you.

Nows the time to become to go-to man. Be the guy that everyone looks to for plans :)

Good on ya pal! Yeah, it's going good. Positive thinking like I do most days, going out with friends later so just wasting time til that time comes. How about you?

How long you been broke up with your woman?

Been broken up since Sunday night. NC since Monday. I was out with my mates last night and will be today too. Well I have school work to take care of first but after that I am going out.

BigBird I agree with you I am trying to keep away from her Facebook page and all that jazz. So what are you up today?

Why not call them up?? Don't wait for them to call you.

Nows the time to become to go-to man. Be the guy that everyone looks to for plans :)

Oh, I already made plans with a friend. Going biking. The thing is, is that my friends sleep in. I mean reeally sleep in. So, I'm just waiting until they wake up and call.

And I have become more a go-to guy, since the break up. At first, I wanted to sit at home, and cry. Then, I came here and you guys talked some sense into me. Ever since then, I got outside every moment I could.

How's everybodies day going?

jrsg your right getting out is important. Man I got to finish this paper so I can get out of here. How long NC between you and your ex?

No NC... More like little periods of it whenever I can.

I am in high school, and I see her 5 days a week. She is in 3 of my 4 classes. We have to finish a tech project too. She also lives in my neighborhood. So I see her at least 4 hours day. It is incredibly difficult to initate NC here, but I do what I can like getting out on the weekend.
Any recommendations on what I can do here?

BigBird I agree with you I am trying to keep away from her facebook page and all that jazz. So what are you up today?

I feel for you man,

I have been broken up for just about or maybe a little over 2 months now. I know how your feeling, it sucks in the beginning but it gets better.

The way it happened with me is that all of a sudden it clicked that I was allowed to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want. It was an awesome feeling of freedom. Doesn't mean I didn't miss her, but the freedom was, and still is, unbelievable. I like to be able to do whatever I want, make my own decisions, without running it by anyone. Hopefully you will feel the same way too..

Another benefit is that it gives you time to think about what you want, and realize who the perfect match for you is. You can stop and think about what was wrong with your previous relationship, and make sure it doesn't happen again. For example, I would love to find someone who isn't jealous/needy enough to stop me from doing anything. To be able to do what you want, whenver you want while you are dating someone sounds like a dream come true to me... That's what I'm shooting for down the road.

Oh sorry mate. That's right I forgot about that. I almost called her lastnight and this morning. I am glad I did not otherwise I would have felt really bad about myself. Last night and this morning have been hard. I have been thinking about her a lot.

QUESTION for you. How do you manage to keep emotionally distant when you see her every day? I will probably see my ex around campus in the fall and I worry how I am going to be emotionally.

Any recommendations on what I can do here?

There is a sticky at the top of the Relationships page. Its called "Things to do after a breakup".

Check that out, its full of stuff :)

Bigbird yeah that makes sense. I am looking forward to getting to that stage too. How long have you been in NC for?


I was over at a mate's house yesterday and he broke up with his GF on Friday. It was interesting.

The difference's between us were striking. He, being the dumper was doing quite well. Me on the other hand being a dumpee by my ex girl friend was quite miserable.

I forgot how much easier it is to be the one being the dumper than the one being dumped.

QUESTION for you. How do you manage to keep emotionally distant when you see her every day?

The thing is, I don't...
I still like her, and I want to get back together. There is a lot of issues though; like the reason we broke up. She has a suicidal ex, who tried to kill himself when he figured out she was dating another guy. We decided that we can't have a romantic relationship untul this guy gets help. She is also going to be away all summer break, so she doesn't see the point of getting emotionally involved if she is going to leave in a few weeks.
But yeah, I still talk to her like I'm her boyfriend. She comes to me with everything. She talks to me about the suicidal ex, and really personal things in her life. So, I don't keep emotionally distant from her.

But summer break is 5 days away now! If I feel I need to bring in NC, I can do it then.

Bigbird yeah that makes sense. I am looking forward to getting to that stage too. How long have you been in NC for?

Ever since the breakup. We have exchanged about 3 emails, nothing for the last month, but it was pretty much "business" emails if you know what I mean. Nothing personal really...



I was over at a mate's house yesterday and he broke up with his GF on Friday. It was interesting.

The difference's between us were striking. He, being the dumper was doing quite well. Me on the other hand being a dumpee by my ex girl friend was quite miserable.

I forgot how much easier it is to be the one being the dumper than the one being dumped.

Be careful there. It really depends on the situation. Sometimes relationships end when neither person really wants to end it, but they both know it must. It isn't any easy to let someone go when you still care for them, but you know the relationship isn't working. My ex still cared for me immensely when she broke up with me, I just wasn't right for her anymore. She wasn't happy. I have no proof, but I wouldn't be the least surprised if it was just as hard for her as it was for me...

Be careful there. It really depends on the situation. Sometimes relationships end when neither person really wants to end it, but they both know it must. It isn't any easy to let someone go when you still care for them, but you know the relationship isn't working. My ex still cared for me immensely when she broke up with me, I just wasn't right for her anymore. She wasn't happy. I have no proof, but I wouldn't be the least surprised if it was just as hard for her as it was

That is a good point and another friend of mine said the same thing. Did you question yourself over and over about things you may or may not have done that precipitated the breakup? I am constantly questioning myself.

Oh, and BigBird, thanks for the advice you gave me on my thread "Confusing Ex Girlfriend."

Does everyone find the weekends harder to deal with than the rest of the week?

Well my ex got in contact a few nights ago just go ask how I was, anyhoo she starts telling me she's falling for someone else, I know the guy which is a bummer and he's a total idiot.

Its weird cause at first it hurt but that soon passed and all I felt was anger towards her. I guess when the anger dies that will be it and ill be over her.

Ps

Is anyone else sick of hearing SOME women say that men have no feelings? I mean all they have to do is come on this site and they would see a fine example of just how much feelings a man can have. Its funny though cause some of the stuff I say here I would never say to someone face to face and maybe that's one of the problems, men don't really talk about their emotions that much.

does everyone find the weekends harder to deal with than the rest of the weeek

I guess find the days all about the same. She was gone most weekend visiting family so I am kind of thankful for that. During the week we were together every night and most of the day. But I can definitely see how weekends would be difficult.


well my ex got in contact a few nights ago just go ask how I was, anyhoo she starts telling me she's falling for someone else, I know the guy which is a bummer and he's a total idiot.

I am dreading that day. I know it is coming but I just hope I will never know about it. That must suck that you know the guy she is going to be with. Why did she tell you that nugget of information anyway. Sounds a little mean of her or did you ask her?


is anyone else sick of hearing SOME women say that men have no feelings? I mean all they have to do is come on this site and they would see a fine example of just how much feelings a man can have. Its funny though cause some of the stuff I say here I would never say to someone face to face and maybe that's one of the problems, men don't really talk about their emotions that much.

I do get sick of hearing that men have no feelings. I do not blame that only on women. Men always try to act tough and macho so. Men should not be afraid to show they have feelings. It's just a crazy world we live in.

Hey zooropa1985,
Weekends are harder. I think because we have more time think, less distractions. So, you need to keep those distractions coming. See some friends, come on this site, play a game, do something to distract you! That is the key to NC...

How did your ex get in contact with you?
Do you plan to be more strict with your NC after this?

Well it kind of started when she asked if I would try again with her, I said I don't know and she asked if I would think about it.

So a few days pass and she seems me that email telling me she's sorry but she didn't mean what she said, she has falling for someone else and that she can't help the way she feels.

So basically she was mind fu@kin me, that's why all I feel is anger.

The guys a total pervert too which makes it worse :(

It sounds like you need to be a lot more strict with your NC with this girl. She doesn't know what she wants. You should move on. That's my opinion, I know it is a lot easier said than done though. I myself suck at keeping NC.

It sounds like you need to be a lot more strict with your NC with this girl. She doesn't know what she wants. You should move on. Thats my opinion, I know it is a lot easier said than done though. I myself suck at keeping NC.

I'm the same, I get to the point where I tell her to just leave me alone but then I start feeling guilty lol, it's a bad thing to have.

Anyhoo maybe this was the kick in the I needed to jump start me back into healing

ZOO I agree with JRSG the NC rule with your ex could be a good idea for you if it is strictly enforced.

Anger is understandable and part of the grieving process. Anger is okay but just do not act on those thoughts. WE can think whatever we want as long as we do not turn those thoughts into actions.

I gues acceptance is the last stage. I am not there yet but I think it is coming. This site has been most helpful.

Well, good luck with your healing.
I am thinking about my ex waay too much right now. I need to distract myself, so I am going biking with my friend. Biking is a hobby I picked up after being dumped a few girlfriends ago. It is healthy, and distracts me. Today, my friend and I are going to attempt to bike over 40km! We just did 35km last week. It's a goal I've set to make me forget about the ex, gives me something to work for.
Did I mention that my ex is at the beach right now with her ex? Yeah, I need a distraction! I am going to lose my mind if I think about what they are doing... ugh. Anyway, I'll see you guys around the site!

And that ON THE AIR video was helarious, and made me forget about my ex for the 4 minutes and 23 seconds it lasted, lol. Thanks

Cheers about the vid, glad you liked it, you do know it's a recording of a real radio show with the animation done for TV.

Anyhoo I have 2 distractions for tonight, first of is finishing metal gear solid 3 then its onto metal gear solid 4 my friends. :)

That video was really cool, especially because it's a recording of a radio show. Must be one hell of a funny radio show, lol.

Good luck with Metal Gear Sold 3/4 buddy! Have fun, and KEEP DISTRACTED!! Can't stress that enough.

Day 16 of NC. My ex just texted me. Nothing major. It just said "Happy Sabbath :-)". I didn't reply and I probably won't. Any other opinions guys?


Ps. How's everyone else doing today?

Id buy that for a dollar lol do you get it? :)

I'm not doing too bad meself, I find Saturday nights the hardest though

How's you keeping

Haha. Yeah I got it. SOOOOOOOOOLLLLLD! Lol. And yeah the weekends are the toughest, but it does get easier. I'm starting to find solace in the fact I can be happy by myself. Still smiling! Oh yeah!

Good for you dollarman. That is strength there mate. Will certainly make her think things over. Well done.

I appreciate it. But I'm taking it at face value. Its nothing more than a feeler. I'd rather not entertain that right now.

Also, you might have wanted to call her because you felt bad for being a dumb a$$ the other night. I am sure you don't need me to tell you, but bud you really don't need problems like that at this stage in the game. Use the the ol head next time. And I say that as a friend.

Yeh.. I agree.. lol

For driving with expired permit & DUI... I know I should not have done that, but I was really... down =/~

needed some time alone to myself.

Hey, I got through the day! Girlfriend was at the beach with her ex, but I don't know, NOR DO I CARE what happened. Well, I do care, but you know...

Sunday, I am seeing the grandparents. That will help distract me, I'm sure.

What are you guys doing to distract yourselves today?

Hey, I got through the day! Girlfriend was at the beach with her ex, but I don't know, NOR DO I CARE what happened. Well, I do care, but you know...

Sunday, I am seeing the grandparents. That will help distract me, i'm sure.

What are you guys doing to distract yourselves today?

Read a book, cleaned my house, worked out and played my guitar. How about you?

Man just been relaxing all day. I got the TV to myself and I'm hanging. I'm glad that we are getting through this guys. It helps to be in the trenches with others.

Man, today was so sweet. My friends had a bbq at 2. Watched the Euros for a bit and then went for the bbq. Just relaxed, laughed, met some new friends and some nice looking women. Went to a lounge later and just had lots of fun. It made my day so much easier and helped me to realize that there is more to my life than my ex.

I was pretty secluded when I was with my ex. It was either her or university. Now, I do something new every weekend and it's so much fun.

Don't be afraid to try something new or trying to meet new people

I watched 'CHEATERS'

holy crap... a 20 year old guy was married to a 19 year old girl..

Well, the girl blew him off with another guy =/

Yeh.. the guy (married) found out and damn... the girl was a gold-digger apparently since she cheated on her "husband" for another guy who drives a tuned up Honda S2000..

kind of sad though =/
A tuned up Silvia 13-15, Mazda RX-7, Mustang etc. can out run s2000...
Why? S2000 is pretty heavy... lol

some people are just too blinded by their own dependency for stuff =/

anyways, maybe 2 weeks of me not talking to my ex excluding the time when my ex called =/

Don't know~ sometimes I feel like trash... sometimes I feel alright

Afternoon all,

My housemate saw my ex out last night, and my ex came over and said hello. My ex then asked how I was, etc, and then said I really love him, I really love him , but he (I) I won't to talk to me... etc etc. she then went on to say that if I ever want a hug or to say hi I can.

Its maddening really. She is clearly not that bright when it comes to matters like this. I was really hurt when I got dumped so why would I contact her? Its amazing she doesn't understand it.

Hearing that my housemate saw her, was OK, didn't bring up too much emotion, just more of a feeling that my exisn't that bright when it comes to things like this.

There's no danger of me contacting her, never will be. Been there done that and got that t shirt.

Back to keeping busy and moving on as we were doing.

Hope everyone is doing well, I'm off to clean the car - lol.

JPM

Lol I made the mistake of talking to him and starting the whole cycle over again, I'd got to a week too :( Well here I go again, and I plan to stick to it this time. Day 1...

Hi JPM,

Good for you! You handled that beautifully!!

This weekend is a little hard for me. I am really missing him big time. I've decided to go to Georgia to visit him in July for that concert. I really want to have a talk with him when I am there, I just don't want to push him away, or come off too needy. My God, this hurts so much.

Lol I made the mistake of talking to him and starting the whole cycle over again, I'd got to a week too :( Well here I go again, and I plan to stick to it this time. Day 1...

Hi Boris,

That is okay. We all go through that. Are you all right though? I know it is so hard having the NC and then if you talk with them, it is upsetting. When you did speak with him, was it a nice conversation though?

No, conversations with my ex are never pleasant LOL. He had a cd of mine I really wanted and I text him politely asking when I could have it back he ignored me. So I told him I was coming to get it. He text me back saying that no I wasn't, because he wasn't in all day ( he was with the ex girlfriend he cheated on me with) and he'd drop it off on Tuesday or Wednesday through my letterbox(Why didn't he say that in the first place?) So I rang him and he answered and told me to leave him alone, stop ringing him, and he was changing his number. (That is the first time I'd rang him since the NC) and we could be friends in a while and he was doing it for my own good so I could get over him.

In his warped mind not telling me when I can have my cd back is for my own good because it involves contacting me.

No, conversations with my ex are never pleasant LOL. He had a cd of mine i really wanted and i txt him politely asking when i could have it back he ignored me. So i told him i was coming to get it. He txt me back saying that no i wasn't, because he wasnt in all day ( he was with the the ex gf he cheated on me with) and he'd drop it off on tuesday or wednesday through my letterbox(Why didn't he say that in the first place?) So i rang him and he answered and told me to leave him alone, stop ringing him, and he was changing his number. (That is the first time i'd rang him since the NC) and we could be friends in a while and he was doing it for my own good so i could get over him.

In his warped mind not telling me when I can have my cd back is for my own good because it involves contacting me.

You know what? You might be better off getting another cd, and just totally blow him off then. He is not being nice at all to you, and you don't need that at all. I wouldn't contact him at all, and if he contacts you; saying that he is coming over to return your cd, you can say "You know what? Don't bother. I got another one".

Thanks star,

It just makes me so angry, when I hear things like ' he won't talk to me'. What am I supposed to do? Keep contacting a girl who dumped me? Why would I do that.

We were best mates as well whilst in our relationship, but when she pulled the plug, she pulled the plug on everything. I just hate it that I some how feel bad, when I clearly shouldn't. Now I'm sat here wondering if I should contact her, to say hi or something. I won't as I want and need to move on with my life. She s not very bright thinking id still want to see and hang out with her after I got dumped.

Sometimes I don't get it. But I know I shouldn't feel bad for cutting her out of my life, as that's what she did too me.

Its day 100ish of NC now, and I'm doing OK. Still struggle some days but most of the time OK.

Keep going all, and feedback on this would be great.

Tough it out jpm. I don't understand it either, but it's the way of the world. If she really wanted to talk you'd know.

Hard day. I am trying hard not to contact my ex. It is really hard. Keep thinking maybe I can get her back. But I know that is not really logical. It is almost a week since she dumped me. It hurts and it sucks.

Its funny when you are the dumpee its like your being dumped twice.

First is the actual dumping but you kind of go into a denial mode and then when you finally realise its over its like being dumped again.

Well least this is my opinion

Zooropa you are so correct. Being the dumpee sucks twice as much as being the dumper.

Hang in their f104, stay strong! I know you have it in you, I want to do the same but I won't!

Stay tough f104! I have those days too, but the more you get through those the easier it becomes.

That's true. It kind of is like getting dumped twice. Lol. Never thought of it like that.

I'm dreading the day that I realize its FINALLY all over with my ex. Hopefully the day will never come, but realistically, its right around the corner.

Jrsg, I actually pretend that my ex is engaged to be married. Maybe a bit extreme, but it kind of puts me in a frame of its over. If you expect nothing and get something it's a bonus. If you expect something and get nothing you're disappointed.

Besides to really move on you have to realise that it is over, in your own mind. Easier said that done I know but only then can you start to heal my friend.

Thanks, that's a good idea dollarman. I guess the more you expect, the more you can be let down.
Reminds me of a joke;
Always borrow money from a pescimist, they never expect it back. Lol

Its hard to explain. I know that chances are it is over between me and my ex. I just want to hold on, and hope that some day she will come back. I am still holding on, 3 weeks later. And the relationship only 'officially' lasted 2 weeks. Very short relationship. But she had some kind of hold on me. How sad is that...

Its not the length of the relationship, it's the feelings involved

its not the length of the relationship, its the feelings involved

That makes me feel a lot less stupid, lol. Thanks
But it is true, the feelings were strong. And it ended in a weird way; her ex attempted suicide:eek: :( . So, we decided to break up until things can be sorted out.
I think she may have moved on, but there is that little hope that she still likes me.

Classicrocker, dollarman, zooropa, jrsg, star, hj and everybody else thanks for the support. I know we can all do this and be better for it.

Glad I could help, f104. Thank you guys for supprting me too. It's a nice little circle of support we have here, isn't it? I'm happy I found this site.

Thanks again guys, I'm loggin off now. Going to go out to dinner with the family now. A very good distraction for myself! Its nice to meet family after a break up, and to know that there are people who still love you. Have a great evening everybody! And good luck with your NC's! Talk to you all soon.
-Jay

Take it easy jrsg. 7 days of NC for me.

Hey all, I'm back and what an amazing time I had. Want something to take your mind off your breakup for a bit, jump out of a plane haha. Seems a bit extreme but it was the most amazing thing I have ever done. There is really no way to describe it. I am uploading the video to YouTube right now so I will post the link shortly so you can live vicariously through me. Its pretty neat.

I'm glad you had a good time, NNG! That really must have been amazing. Where did you go for this? And I can't wait to see the video... you didn't scream too much did you? Lol

Okay, well, my ex just texted me. She said, "are you busy?" I replied, "I am in Detroit... with the grandparents, is there something you needed?" She replied, "its nothing, don't worry."
I replied because I am not in NC with her, I actually see her everyday. I just post here to talk about it, feels like more of a free discussion area.

By the way, I live in Toronto. I am in Detroit for the day seeing my grandparents.

NOW, my needy heart wants to think she wanted to talk about "us" and ask to get back together. Unfortunately, realistically, it was probably just her asking me to help finish the tech project for school we are working on together. Am I crazy to believe that she wanted to ask to get back together?

I need that video to distract me NNG!

Hey Guys,

All right here's the video... Hope you enjoy it, I still get excited when I watch it. And really, a year ago I was afraid of flying, and here I am jumping out of a plane, you are scared sh**less until you actually jump, than it is the most amazing thing in the world. I highly recommend it.

Also, you can see deb (my instructor) slapping my hand at the end of free fall, I was supposed to open the chute myself but got a little over excited with the whole jumping out of a plane thing and stopped paying attention, so she had to do it for me... probably a good thing. Haha.

Enjoy.

YouTube - My Sky dive (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-a0SRVvvVXA)

There is a quote at the beginning of the video that I think is pretty cool to, everything is going to be all right in the end for us guys!!

Very nice NNG! And good choice of music, lol "learn to fly," very clever.
Talk to you guys later

Awesome Nng!

awesome sky-dive xD

anyways.. I told my mom that I am pretty confident on enlisting in the Army. It's a big step for me as well the rest of my family members and friends.

@classicrocker: you live in Redlands? Is that around LA area? I'm from SD area.. lol

NNG you are a God! Well done. Inspiration for all of us.

Hey NNG! Where do you live? I know it may be a random and personal question, but I live in Richmond Hill, maybe 25/30 minutes away from where "SkydiveToronto" is. Just wondering...

Rocker I didn't know you were in Redlands. I live in San Berdo when I'm not in bama.

Wow, this has turned into a "hey! I live near you" thread, lol.
Cool

hahaha


anyways, it's been almost 2 weeks of no contact... the urge is random~ sometimes I want to call, sometimes I don't =/

Great jump NNG- cheered me right up my man. Have a great day everyone

great jump NNG- cheered me right up my man. have a great day everyone


Yeh... my day was down =/

Wow I didn't think anyone was from southern California on here!

Hey guys,

How's everyone doing today?

Nice video NNG, I went last year -- it was awesome. Hoping to go again soon...

Today is somewhere just over the 2 month mark for me I believe... Its also her birthday today and I'm hoping it isn't going to be too rough. She isn't a partier, but it being her 21st still makes me uneasy...

Well I'm off to work, but I'm sure I'll be on plenty today

Hey Guys,

How are you all doing?

Hey, is the NC Calender still on the 'Relationships' forum?

Hey Guys,

How are you all doing?

Hey, is the NC Calender still on the 'Relationships' forum?

The old one is, this is a continuation and it isn't.

Its here:
Forum Community > Member Discussions > Other Member Discussions > The NC Calendar II

Awww it was great seeing the post grow, oh well

How's everyone today

I am in North NJ area, near bergen county, passaic county, essex.. about an hour away from the jersey shore, Point pleasant...


Hwy Jolie
I've been to the jersey shore,it has the most beaautiful beaches therebut I'm a NYC girl so to all the jersey people,hey! You do have nice beaches

wow i didnt think anyone was from southern california on here!


Hey Classic,
I love that signature,no news is good news, I think I may be the longest on NC,its almost 4 months! Haven't broke it and won't,because no news is good news!

The old one is, this is a continuation and it isn't.

Its here:
Forum Community > Member Discussions > Other Member Discussions > The NC Calendar II

Great, Thanks Guys!

How is everyone today?

Hey Guys,

Alright heres the video... Hope you enjoy it, I still get excited when I watch it. And really, a year ago I was afraid of flying, and here I am jumping out of a plane, you are scared sh**less until you actually jump, than it is the most amazing thing in the world. I highly recommend it.

Also, you can see deb (my instructor) slapping my hand at the end of free fall, I was supposed to open the chute myself but got a little over excited with the whole jumping out of a plane thing and stopped paying attention, so she had to do it for me... probably a good thing. haha.

Enjoy.

YouTube - My Sky dive (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-a0SRVvvVXA)

There is a quote at the beginning of the video that I think is pretty cool to, everything is going to be alright in the end for us guys!!!


Hi NNG,

That was amazing!! Thank you for sharing this with us! I am so glad you had a great time :) Excellent!

Yep, that was great NNG made me smile

Hi JPM,

How are you doing? How was your weekend?

Hey Guys, I really appreciate all the support on the video, really truly feels like I have made some serious friends on here. Great experience, still riding the hight from it.

Although... There has been a problem created from it.

I posted my video on Facebook and tagged the people I went on it with as well. Well my ex has these people on her friend's list as well and could watch it from their profiles (as I refuse to add her as a friend).

She texted me in the morning saying that was so amazing, I never thought you of all people would do something like that. (it was a big plus to me that a while ago I mentioned I wanted to do this and she said I was too chicken to in a mean way) Well I did and had a great time doing it.

Anyway the texts continued during the day, it eventually came out that she isn't happy where she is living right now and really really wants me to come see her. At the end of the night she sent me a few more saying... "I need you to visit me right now :(" "I feel like a part of me is missing... and its you in my life" "Please come I can't stop thinking about you" "I miss absolutely everything about you"

These were pretty heavy texts, and they kind of got to me. I am sort of getting the feeling she hasn't run into a guy that matches up to me down there, and she has seen me do this skydive, knows I've been traveling and have just started a pretty cool job. It is probably bugging her that I am doing and accomplishing a lot of things with out her.

She's basically said everything but I want you back (not going to get back with her), which really makes me think this is just her wanting validation from me that I am still pinning for her. I think if I gave that too her she would stop bugging me... What do you guys think. Also tomorrow is our official 4 year anniversary so that could be another factor.

I will admit, it made me feel a lot better that she said these things to me, and I did feel like blurting out I will come visit you on the weekend and I miss you more and all that stuff... I know better though.

Thanks for listening

Ah cool here is everybody. Been really hard maintaing NC today but I am doing it.

Vivia 4 months of NC is awesome. Good job.

jrsg thanks for squaring me away mate.

NNG,

Stop the contact. You can already see that it has been driving you nuts and is starting to eat at your mind.

Your best bet is to let her be on her own and not give into her wants for validation. She wants to know that your still pining for her (your right) and if you give her that, she won't need you for validation anymore.

And honestly, do you really want to be talking to her just because she hasn't been able to find someone else who matches her desires? That isn't fair to you.

NNG - I agree with bigbird. Its tough but it sounds like she's trying to use you for her own ego boost. She wants to know that she can still have an impact on you emotionally and she's lonely and wants to know that's there at least someone out there that's still pining over her. Don't let her use you. I'm not saying at all that she's a bad person or she even consciously understands what she's doing to you. But you're better off just letting it go and not feeding into her ego. It sucks, I know but you got to look at her motives.

jrsg thanks for squaring me away mate.

No problem buddy,
So you said that maintaining NC is hard for you right now, day 8. Did something happen to bring back memories? Or is it just one of those days?

@ classicrocker: Same =/

@bigbird: Well, she can go to a club when she's 21 & meet guys... it does suck =/

Bigbird and losinit,

You're right, I knew it myself, just needed you guys to confirm it. Its been almost two months and now she is doing this... I did break nc, but not badly, I only responded 3 times, with short answers, two of which were just about how fun skydiving was.

f104, keep your NC going, I have broken it a few times over the last two months and it has been nothing but bad for me. It really takes the wind out of your sails. You guys really impress me, my ex had treated me horribly and I still gave in to talk to her sometimes. I can say that I never contacted her first though, it was always in response to her (still doesn't make it right)

Even though I have broken it my good days are finally now out numbering my bad ones. Its an exciting feeling to know you are going to be OK and heal from this. Can't wait till you guys and gals in the early stages are there, and you will be soon enough! We're all rooting for you!

And I just noticed that I have been kicked out of college cause I could not pass my writing class. Wow... time for summer school or classes at community college..

damn it =/

NNG,

I'm glad to hear it. Sorry that my post sounded a little harsh, I just re-read it. I was writing it quick and didn't want to put it off and forget to respond (I had to leave). I didn't mean that to be offensive towards your ex, as I agree with losingit, sometimes I think the ex's don't even consciously know what they are doing, but they are doing it nonetheless.

Congrats of thinking through it and seeking advice when you needed it.

Hang in there.

NNG - Glad to hear the good days are outnumbering the bad days. That's healing and growth.

I haven't been on here much lately cause I've actually been keeping busy building my new life. Almost 3 months since my breakup and I can honestly say I haven't had a bad day in a long time. Sure, I still think of him everyday but not in a sad way. I look back fondly at some of the memories we had, the lessons we both learned, etc. But in no way do I want him back. Looking back now with a clear head, I can thank him for releasing me from a dead-end and unhappy relationship. I know I would never have had the strength to walk away on my own but he did the deed for me, and I'm honestly pretty thankful he let me go. He was right when he broke up with me and said "losingit, you deserve everything you want in this world..". I do. And now I'm free to go get it.

For those still hurting, one day you'll get there and it won't hurt anymore. It'll happen. I thought it never would but I'm here and am living proof that it does get better... and better... and better..

NNG,

I'm glad to hear it. Sorry that my post sounded a little harsh, I just re-read it. I was writing it quick and didn't want to put it off and forget to respond (I had to leave). I didn't mean that to be offensive towards your ex, as I agree with losingit, sometimes I think the ex's don't even consciously know what they are doing, but they are doing it nontheless.

Congrats of thinking through it and seeking advice when you needed it.

Hang in there.

Oh know worries buddy, wasn't harsh at all, you got the message across loud and clear and that's what I need. Every time she has contacted me that's what she has done... so she's got to know by now!!

hmm... I feel tempted to call up my ex =/

Don't you dare call her hj... You are feeling down because of failing and are looking for some comfort, and you are not going to get it. The best revenge is a life well lived, from now on take advantage of being single to do the best job you can possibly do in every aspect of your life. I know from your other posts school is very important to you so get your studies back on track. The worst thing you can do is let other aspects of your life fall apart... it just puts you deeper in a hole and you will one day find yourself really struggling to climb out.

Don't you dare call her hj.... You are feelin down because of failing and are looking for some comfort, and you are not going to get it. The best revenge is a life well lived, from now on take advantage of being single to do the best job you can possibly do in every aspect of your life. I know from your other posts school is very important to you so get your studies back on track. The worst thing you can do is let other aspects of your life fall apart... it just puts you deeper in a hole and you will one day find yourself really struggling to climb out.

True true...

I am currently writing down modified silvias (s13s, s14s, s15s) so when I have a silvia, I can modify with different parts. *sigh*... I never knew my life would be this dis-stressful.

True true...

I am currently writing down modified silvias (s13s, s14s, s15s) so when I have a silvia, I can modify with different parts. *sigh*... I never knew my life would be this dis-stressful.

What's a silvia?

Whats a silvia?

Nissan Silvia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nissan_Silvia)

Hey... why were we moved?

Not sure, but I lost a load of posts, feel like I lost money in my bank account!

Maybe the credit crunch hit the NC calendar!

As the threads were moved to member discussion, where it should really be, post counts have been automatically recalculated as the MD boards are zero rated.

Sorry for the confusion.

Whoa was last night a tough night for me.

I was just lying in bed and suddenly started crying, think the fact my ex wants another guy really hit me last night.