That seems to depend -often on the Judge and how they interpret the situation

Bankruptcy, Criminal Law, Family Law, Margaret Frankel, Alexandria, Virginia lawyers attorneys (http://www.frankellawoffice.com/DynamicContentPage.shtml)

Engagement Ring Laws (http://marriage.about.com/od/rings/a/ringreturn.htm)

Your state I think follows the conditional rule.

General rule is that an engagement ring is a conditional gift, and if the condition is not met (i.e. you don't get married) then the ring is to be returned without regard to "fault".

"conditional gift" rule - Harrison v. Yarbough, At Law No. 109240, 1992 WL 884620, 1 (Va. Cir. Ct.)

Personally if it's just from a break up I would say no. But what N0help4u mentioned is a good point. My thoughts are that if he gave it to you then he asks for it back I would call him an indian giver. Why keep it. All it really does remind you of him. Plus I would call it karma for the fact that the ring is bad luck. Anyway it was just a thought.

If the woman initiated the breakup, does she also have to return the engagement ring? Even if the guy treated her so poorly, he doesn't deserve to get the ring back?


In many States if she initiated the breakup she gives the ring back.

(How or why he treated her or how or why the engagement was broken doesn't matter.)

I'd give it back and get him out of my life.

If he asks for it back give it to him. Otherwise he may sue and stand a good chance of winning.

In short - YES

An engagement ring (as NOhelp4u) put it, is a conditional gift. Since you are not getting married, the ring needs to be returned.

In short - YES

An engagement ring (as NOhelp4u) put it, is a conditional gift. Since you are not getting married, the ring needs to be returned.


Sorry, but you are not legally correct in all States (I am not discussing any sort of moral obligation, that's for relationship threads). The Courts have made binding decisions (case law) on all of the following:

In SOME States the ring is conditional upon the marriage - no marriage, return the ring: Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, NJ, NM, NY, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin.

In California if HE breaks the engagement SHE gets to keep the ring. If SHE breaks the engagement, he gets it back.

In Montana a ring is not a conditional gift, it is given freely, and it does not be returned.

The others are at the Judge's discretion (if it goes that far).

It's a gray area. Ethically she should give the ring back especially if your still making payments on it. The only reassurance you can give yourself is 1) if she does not return you now know how vindictive she can be and that saves you money from a potential future divorce settlement and 2) if she gives it back then you know you can move on

If the woman initiated the breakup, does she also have to return the engagement ring? Even if the guy treated her so poorly, he doesn't deserve to get the ring back?
Think of the ring as a promise to marry. If you don't marry you don't keep the ring. It is not a "promise to treat you fairly" ring. The right thing is to give it back. Why would anyone want to keep a ring from someone else anyway? If he is as big of a jerk as you suggest that he is, he will probably try and give it to the next girl as an engagement ring!

In the state of Virginia...is an engagement ring to be returned upon the couple not getting married? Very simple question.

Thank you,


Very simple answer -


Virginia is a conditional gift state - the engagement ring is a conditional gift, and if the condition is not met (marriage) the ring is returned without regard to who was at fault.