So, my boyfriend and I finally had sex for the first time. It was my first time ever. And I expected it to hurt(and boy did it!), but after about an hour, it didn't hurt at all. It was just kind of... I don't know how to describe it. But it didn't feel good. It was just plain uncomfortable. It wasn't because I wasn't 'in the mood' or there wasn't enough lubricant.. It just didn't feel good. Masturbation for me feels good. But when he comes right down to it, sex doesn't. I have even tried using toys... and they don't even give me pleasure if I insert them... Doesn't feel like anything actually... Okay, so, granted, he isn't the biggest in the world... But he isn't the smallest either. So, I should have at least felt something.. But still, nothing. He know's I do not get pleasure out of it, and he feels bad because he is brought to an orgasm and he 'c u m s'. He say's "I'm not satisfied completly until your satisfied." And I just don't know how to make it happen.. ): Is this normal? Does it mean something is wrong with me body? Could it be because it was my first time? But then I can't help but wonder why it's like that when I use toys and such... Some help would be fabulous! (:
:confused:

You gotten to use to the toys. How can he compete with tools. Sex is not just physical it is emotional and if you think about your tools during the process with your boyfriend, no wonder you don't feel anything.

Keep fingers tongues and other things out of your vagina. These don't do anything for you.

Sex is about passion. It mostly takes a mature woman, not a teen, to make passion happen. Don't just be a boyfriend's plaything object with him blaming you for not enjoying yourself. You are probably too young.

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Originally Posted by Choux

Keep fingers tongues and other things out of your vagina. These don't do anything for you.

Sex is about passion. It mostly takes a mature woman, not a teen, to make passion happen. Don't just be a boyfriend's plaything object with him blaming you for not enjoying yourself. You are probably too young.

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I don't allow fingers or tongues in my vagina... And your probably right about the age thing. All though I'm 18, I certainly don't feel/look it. Thank you.

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Originally Posted by Chocolate V

You gotten to use to the toys. How can he compete with tools. Sex is not just physical it is emotional and if you think about your tools during the process with your boyfriend, no wonder you don't feel anything.

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I haven't gotten used to the toys... I never even used them until AFTER we had sex.. and they didn't even do anything. I don't 'think about the tools' while I'm having sex. I think about him, and his body, and being with him. But still, I get nothing...

I disagree.

There are plenty of things that can feel good in your vagina---INCLUDING fingers and tongues.

It sounds to me like you really just weren't ready for sex.

Do you masturbate? Can you bring yourself to orgasm from masturbation? If so, you need to show HIM how that works on you. Guys don't work like women do--their triggers are pretty different. If you don't SHOW him what feels good to you, he's never going to know it.

And if you can't TALK about sex with him, then you DEFINITELY shouldn't be HAVING sex with him.

Synn, had to spread the rep. I agree 100%

Sex, like anything else, takes some getting used to. You aren't going to jump into bed for the first time and be a pro (if there is such a thing).

If you don't know your own body and what works for you then you already 10 steps behind.

Communication is the most important thing during sex. Figure out your body and then tell him what you like, what you don't like, where to go, what to do.

Sometimes it does take a while to really enjoy sex, so don't worry too much.

Talk to him, you'd be surprised how a little sex talk can help.

When I first started masturbating, I don't remember dong anything else that week. The one thing I do remember though it didn't feel all that great, it was more of a "I shouldn't be doing this but its so awesome" thing.

Comparing how I masturbate now to how I masturbated then, it's a world of difference. The same thing happened when I had sex for the first time, it didn't really feel that awesome, it was more of a power thing, a right of passage. But after I started to focus on the pleasure aspect and achieving more out of sex, like masturbation, it began to feel very good and getting a woman off or at the same time became my next goal.

Like Altenweg said, it will take a while to enjoy sex, getting past the undercover jitters should be your first goal. Then you can focus on things like sensation and breathing and pleasure.

Don't remove the possibility of pleasure through oral or finger stimulation just yet, trying new things will be the key to sexual gratification.

One last and final thing. It is completely okay to masturbate during intercourse. Trying to achieve orgasm while in the midst of intercourse is a big compliment to your partner. Wanting to let go of yourself with your partner is exactly what he is trying to do so you should do it yourself.

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Originally Posted by Choux

Keep fingers tongues and other things out of your vagina. These don't do anything for you.

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Choux
You can't be serious :eek:

Like the other said it does take some getting used to. Personally I didn't really enjoy sex with my first boyfriend, the second one however. (hehe I'm NOT saying you should switch bfs! :))

But you should really show him what gets you off. And good sex in my opinion is really about communication, knowing yourself and it helps to be turned on as well as some passion.

Have you ever achieved an orgasm from, well inside the vagina (g-spot)? It's pretty common for women to struggle with that. Besides I've heard that you can train the muscles (pelvic) so that it'll be easier to achieve an orgasm that way. (including during intercourse)

I found a site with some facts about women and sex. Hope that helps!

Sex Facts - FemHealth.Net

Oh, and what kickprivate wrote about masturbating during intercourse might help! It's a pretty good suggestion!

Ya I'm with the other posts, don't rule out fingers or tongues.

In fact, my suggestion when I first read your post was to maybe show him how to go down on you or masturbate in front of him. Not only can this help to solve your problem it is very arousing to watch and do!

I'm sure for your boyfriend this has been quite hard for him too.

If he was able to pleasure you you would both feel a lot better! :p

Also try not concentrate so much on the actual intercourse, in fact possibly leave it for a while. The pressure can't be inspiring passion in either of you. Concentrate on enjoying each other. If you both can try to forget about this issue you will be more likely to achieve orgasm and become closer, which always improves your sex life!

I know the problem

You weren't aroused. Try having him do a little more making out and when you feel like you really want it then go for it. Have him use his fingers like you would if you were masturbate.

Men are like microwaves and women are like ovens when it comes to arousal.

The first part of pain won't be there the next time

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Originally Posted by Starbucks21

Men are like microwaves and women are like ovens when it comes to arousal.

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LOL... interesting analogy .