Okay... dumb question, but I'm a little confused and I just need to know... Is the actual VAGINA itself basically towards the front, or more towards the back where the anus is? I read it's directly below the urethra, which would mean basically standing forward, your vagina is basically right there at the front, just a little bit below. Is this where it's located? Because for awhile, I always thought it was located more towards the back towards your anus... It's pretty embarrassing to still be confused where it's actually at, but I have a hard time finding it because yes, it is kind of uncomfortable to look in & around down there and what not.
Thanks!

If you are serious, read thishttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Vulva_anatomy.jpg
The image is not great, but at least it should answer your question

And give this a readhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina

These two links combined will explain a lot:

Vagina - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Sexual FAQs XVI

The reason why your probably confused is because the vagina is an orifice, not an opening. Hence it has to be found. It's elastic and normally closed. It's where a tampon goes.

Your vagina goes up inside of you like a tunnel. The opening is about half way between the urethra and the anus, inside the lips or "labia" on either side. If you squat over a mirror you can see it. You should also be able to feel it with your fingers.

I assume from your name you are female?

Sadly, I am serious... I have seen those photos and the diagrams many times... I know what everything is... but being a virgin and the vagina being located on the inside, it's kind of confusing to figure out exactly where it is. The only thing I am confused about is if it's located towards the front (like standing face forward) or located more towards the anus. Diagrams show the vagina right past the urethra, which would be basically right towards the front. Its embarrassing... but I'm a virgin, so, not too much experience.

From your perspective, the vagina is towards the anus, between your labia minora (small lips), below the urethra

I know exactly what a vagina is, definitely. I've learned everything there is to know about what everything is, and I definitely obviously know it's the birth canal and where your period happens, and tampons go, and everything like that. I am only confused if it is more towards the back, like towards the anus or if standing from the front, it's directly below the urethra. (which would be a lot more facing the front with the outer lips). And yes, I'm a female

Wouldn't directly below the urethra mean more towards the front labia and not toward the anus, though? I know this is dumb but I am getting a little frustrated at this point because I've been with my boyfriend for a long while now and we are having problems trying to have sex and I feel like I might not be exactly sure where the vagina actually is.

No need to be embarrassed. :) There isn't anyone who didn't know this at some point, even if they have forgotten what that's like.

The best way to figure this out is to squat over a mirror with good light and stick your fingers down there. Pull the labia apart and you should see the clitoris (up front), the urethra a little farther down, and finally the opening to the vagina even farther down. The anus is way back.

I guess if I had to answer, I would say the actual opening is more towards the back.

Hope this helps!

What do you mean the "front" labia? They are on the sides. There are two sets, the big ones and the small inner ones.

If you use tampons, that IS your vagina, where you put the tampon in. How is that confusing?

In what way are you having trouble having sex. Also, we need to ask how old you are.

Amydawn, I think the majority of us here are perhaps finding this a little unusual that (I assume you are over 18) you don't know much about YOUR OWN anatomy, this is a concern to many of us that in this day and age, that is all, we are not trying to annoy you.

Regards

Thanks... I haven't even ever opened the labia apart before to look (even though I've known I've needed to by now) because I've always been like kind of uncomfortable with it and don't know why. I kind of have like a thing with inside bodies and stuff, kind of hard to handle so that's why Ive never wanted to basically open and look in there. I just turned 20and my boyfriend are having a little trouble trying to have sex, and I feel like it might be because I'm telling him the wrong place, or the vagina is too tight because I'm a virgin. I really don't know what it is.

Have you masturbated before?

Many girls actually who are virgins haven't used tampons before, and I haven't. I know a few girls who are virgins and haven't use tampons or just don't use them because of the fact of being afraid of infections and what not. It's not unusual that I'm a girl who is 20 yrs old and a virgin. My boyfriend isn't a virgin and the way we have been trouble trying to have sex is trying to get his penis inside. I can't figure if it's because I am so tight because of the fact I'm a virgin, or what, so now I am coming down to questioning if we have been actually trying my vagina because I'm so frustrated with the situation. I even started questioning having "vaginismus" that I read about online, but I really don't see how that's possible I have that. I'm not stupid when it comes to sex, although my question might sound like it.

I've only clitoral stimulation

You have never inserted a finger? As well as clitorally stimulated yourself?

I mean, I have felt there many times and I have put a finger inside the lips like up to an inch length... but I don't know. Is there a way a finger can fit but not enough room for a penis yet because of being so tight, or is that impossible?

We do not think you sound stupid! It's just hard to tell what you know and what you don't. I think we thought at first you might not know much and might be 12 or 13. Now it's obvious that you have a frustrating problem that is causing you to question things that normally seem obvious.

I assume you want to have sex with your boyfriend and are well lubricated and likewise that he is completely hard. If that is all true, then I suspect that you just have a very tough hymen and probably are fairly tight. You could also have vaginismus, as you say. If you are uncomfortable about your body parts and never touch yourself that's a possibility.

I doubt that your boyfriend is missing your vagina. Basically, it's the only way in and a very obvious target for a motivated young man. I don't mean to be flip, but your boyfriend should be able to find it. He may not be pushing hard enough, not wanting to hurt you. It might hurt when he finally pushes through.

Do you really want to do this?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Amydawn12354

I mean, I have felt there many times and I have put a finger inside the lips like up to an inch length... but I don't know. Is there a way a finger can fit but not enough room for a penis yet because of being so tight, or is that impossible?

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Yes it is quite possible. Okay, where you place your finger IS inside the entrance to your vagina-the penis goes there, after much foreplay and some reasonable "pushing" from your partner

Thank you... And yes, its becoming very frustrating almost to the point of almost crying because we have been together for a long time and I feel like it's not fair for him. I really don't know what is up. I do know there's not much space down there for it to be hard to find where the vagina is... but the thing I just can't figure out is why in the world it would be this hard for a penis to go inside a vagina. It makes me question that there's something abnormal, or maybe not enough experience and my vagina is very tight or what. It's just becoming frustrating! Which is the reason why I am even coming to question if it's the right place because it's just not making sense to me. He is definitely also completely hard. When it does hurt, I tend to hold him back a little bit. But I don't know. There probably isn't much else anyone can answer for me without figuring it out on my own!

Dear Amy,
Be patient with what is happening. My gut feeling is that you are fine. If you are seriously worried there might be some sort of anatomical problem, get a checkup with a doctor.

Your boyfriend is fine and this is not unfair to him. It is who you are and I suspect he is happy to have you. You are a couple and if he's a good boyfriend, he cares about your comfort and happiness. Try not to worry about this quite so much and enjoy the lovemaking for what it is. I suspect you two will figure this out before long. He will not be harmed by not being inside you a few days or weeks sooner.

I really don't think it's an anatomy problem because it looks perfectly normal from my opinion. Even my mom said she had no problem losing her virginity quickly. I really don't know what the problem is. I hope we figure it out soon.
Thank You A lot!

OK, I'll ask a question. Before the insertion attempt, both of you have engaged in foreplay and you should be well lubercated?

You have to practice finding your vagina with your finger in this state of arousal.

His condom needs to be lubercated as well. Now you can gently show him the way.

It may take repeated trials for his penis to gently enlarge the opening. If you can guide and aim, it will be a big help.

You don't want him to find the opening and for him to push hard.

Do it gently at first, and you'll know when you'll want more.

Alternatively, since it's your first time you can be on top and be totally in control in what's known as the cowgirl position.

I agree with Keep it Simple. Slow and gentle. But it could be difficult for Amy to guide him if she's now in doubt about where he should go. Also, breaking the hymen is sometimes pretty difficult, even under the best of circumstances. Thinking about it, I realize I had almost the same problem, a few decades ago. It had kind of receded in importance.

Well, I used to think that cats peed out of the end of their tails. In case you're wondering, they don't.

You really don't need to be afraid of your own body. In fact, you're going to have to be your body's representative for the rest of your life, so it's important that you know what everything is, where everything is, and how everything works.

It appears that somehow you got the impression that looking at your own parts is a bad thing. Let me promise you that everyone does it. We have to for a lot of reasons.

Your mom does it. Your grandma does it. Your teachers do it. mrs. santa claus does it. Even the Queen of England does it. Everybody does it.

So go pick up a hand mirror and make it your new best friend.

Don't look! Just kidding. You're supposed to look. It might not look like you thought it would be. It appears you've had help through diagrams. I know I had seen diagrams of the male anatomy before I got a glance of the real deal, but I still had the idea that it would look like a long balloon with a nipple at the end of it. It doesn't look like that, by the way.

So just get used to the idea that this is part of you. It's not stuck on. You're not like Mr. Potato. It's part of what makes you who you are. Wave. Beyond the health aspects that make this an important step, you'll also find that you need to be intimately familiar with this happy place if you're going to enjoy sex and all of its intricate blessings.

In answer to your other question, the anus is completely independent. All it does is poo. It's the little hole in your butt. It's where the term "a-hole" comes from. Say hi to it. He's your friend too.

I agree with the advice given to see a gynecologist. I was always told you should go when you become sexually active or 18.

Since you have considered vaginismus might be an issue, I would recommend it even more. I know you wrote that it doesn't look like an anatomical problem because everything looks normal, but I don't know if vaginismus is entirely visible or if it's occurs to the same degree when you're by yourself.

You can also tell your doctor your other concerns and questions. I can assure you that they've heard it all before, and they won't be offended. They've dedicated their entire professional lives to this one little part and all of its anatomical friends. Do not fear. The Lord made that too.

Amy,

Your boyfriend has to push HARD when lightly stroking your genitals with his penis from the front of your genitals-your clitoris, urethra and boom into the vagina; his penis will go into your lubricated vagina. It may have to break your hymen if it is intact and that is painful the first time. The missionary position will give him a good position so he can push hard. Your anus will be out of the way in this position.

Thanks Everyone for your helpful answers... especially the very long one!
Yes, we do foreplay and no, we haven't used lube or anything like that. We also don't have lubricated condoms, so basically its been relying on my own wetness, etc... which I started thinking could be a factor by itself. I got lube today. We also tried to have sex again today and he fingered me beforehand and only one finger fit inside, and if two even attempt to fit it starts to definitely hurt. It confuses me how one finger can fit inside, yet a penis isn't fitting. I'm also starting to question if my hymen is still completely intact or not because of the fact a finger does fit... because I know you can partially lose your hymen as a kid. We have tried almost every position and it's still the same thing. Today the head of his penis fit in, but no more than that. Really confusing. We're going to try and use the lubrication the next time we try again. I really hope it works.
My question might be going on and on for something that seems like a simple problem, but all of your answers have been really helpful and interesting to me because this is something that's been frustrating me for quite awhile. We've been together for over 6 years lets just say (including high school). So I am QUITE ready if you catch my drift!
About vaginismus, I hope & pray I wouldn't have that. I mean judging from myself, I don't see why I would have it because I really am not like terrified of sex and nothing in my childhood happened to me that would cause me to have vaginismus. I started questioning stuff like this because of how hard its been to lose my virginity. Especially because from hearing my friends talk in the past about them losing their virginity, they said it was pretty damn easy... literally, like two times of having sex and it was all good.
I'd like to hope that this happens to a lot of girls when trying to lose their virginity and not just me! Thank You for all of your answers!

Just take your time. There is no need to rush. Tell your boyfriend the issue your having and if he really loves you he will understand. Just keep trying to have sex and go farther in each time and eventually you will be having full sex.

First, I don't agree. Sometimes medical intervention is required if intercourse is always painful.

Second - this is from 2008. The OP is long off the Board.