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Just to lighten things up, how about sharing those silly little moments that just aren't quite as romantic as they could have been. (nothing too graphic)
Here's a recent one of mine - wandering around, in the 'afterglow', feeling like a sexy minx, - realising there's a tissue stuck to my foot ahem... :o
Making up an entire ad campaign for "hair flavoring" by L'oreo. Gee your hair tastes terrific! How many oldsters remember where that came from?
Cuddling, trying to make yourself comfortable, and then... rolling off the bed. Yep.
Having my tummy gurgle REALLY loud during an oral encounter. Like... it startled the cat on the other side of the room.
Ruined the mood--we were both giggling too hard to continue.
She mentions something about my mother once during the act. That just killed it right then.
During the act, with good motion and rhythm, the slats on the bed broke, and bed and both of us crashing to the floor. While I did not skip a beat, or tried not to, wife was laughing her a$$ off.
Directly afterwards I always get up and go to the bathroom. I am sitting there and right as my husband rounds the corner my a$$ just explodes! Horrible diarrhea. Yeah, he just laughed and I guess walked in the living room.
Being right in the middle of the act and suddenly having a cat jump up and try to make itself at home on your partner's chest.
That farting noise that happens when sweaty skin suctions to sweaty skin.
In my past life I found that having him scream out his ex-wife's name during the act to be a big turn off.
The second time you get a phone call at to a.m. from a drunk brother just as you're getting busy.
Having a 9 year old ask you about your sex life. It doesn't matter when they ask, it's still awkward and hard to get out of your head later.
Having sex with someone and then having a parent walk in. and the weird wet smacking noise that happens when you both get sweaty while having sex among other sweaty sex noises just makes me feel awkward and it's a turn off
When your Gf has very large breast and is on top saying Suck those cow utters! I couldn't keep going I just cracked up to bad.
When she sits down too hard and is not aiming well... That stopped it right there.
Pulling down your underwear and tripping whilst knocking shelves down and waking the kids up. Might have still happened if the kids didn't wake up.
Speaking of kids, Squeek, Squeek, Squeek, Bang, Bang, Bag, knock, knock, knock... "Mom, I can't sweep...." I'm just sitting there red faced thinking, I wonder why....
Reminds me of when the kids were small and our son came in during the middle of the night and said, 'stop bouncing on the bed - I'm trying to sleep and I'm not allowed!'
Quote:
Originally Posted by Catsmine
This reminded me - my late husband's daughter is referred to as the Hippy Dippy Daughter. She moved from NY to California (and is currently in about her 3 year of a 6 month massage therapist school, but I digress). She could NEVER get the time change straight and the conversations went like this AT 2AM:
"Hi, is Dad there?"
"It's 2AM."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Well, if you're 3 hours behind me and it's 11 here then it it's 8 there."
"No, California is behind NY. It's 11 there and 2 here."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Okay, well, I'll call back."
Next weekend, repeat above. Over and over and over.
This was when I was with the Ex-wife. Apparently in the middle of the night, when I was half to three quarters asleep I wake her up with some awesome foreplay and really getting into it. When it finally came to the time to insert tab A into slot B, I turned over said I was to tired and fell back asleep completely.
Didn't get much for about a month after that.
I have repeatedly asked my daughter to knock before entering the bedroom or bathroom. Some doors need locks! She walks in and then remembers...
The other day my husband and I were having a before-work quickie in the powder room. In she walked, she shrieked, slammed the door and retreated to another bathroom.
Now though, there are timid knocks whenever she finds a closed door. So I guess it worked.
Best friends story. Had a girlfriend who had a boyfriend. She decided to service him outside behind the house. Guess the real boyfriend knew something was going on cause he knew just where to look and snuck up behind them. One side had a privacy fence and the other escape route would have been clear if he had gone that way. Instead, without looking he turns and runs pants still down head long into an oak tree. He fell back dazed and hit the ground. Real boyfriend grabbed him by the back of the shirt and drug his butt out of the yard still with pants down. Friend got to road, pulled his britches up and scrambled out of there like a bat out of heck. Worst part, the friend got beat up three days later by same guy who ultimately (not immediately) left the cheating you know what.
My all time favorite, hubby and I sweaty and naked on the bed, the blankets on the floor, our bedroom looking like a war just took place and then hearing a little voice say "Are you done yet? I want a glass of water". :eek:
Going for it on a sunny day near an isolated beach on a grassy spot under some trees. Bliss. Silence. Lust.
Suddenly, to my horror, a huge, hairy slobbering dog jumps on us and starts licking our faces and generally being extremely friendly - we were all loved up and so was he!
She didn't say anything at the time but after I got the 5th degree. I guess I was smackin her head against the head board. Opps! Poor girl. (course she could have just said ouch once you know)
Then there was the long hot summer when clothes or bed covers were out of the question, but hey we were in our own bedroom, second floor, not overlooked by any buildings - until we realised a double-decker bus had broken down right outside!.
Having a quickie at night at a local park then realizing that you have nothing to clean up with.
Driving home in squidgy undies is not fun.
Once I was in my ex's house warming party and we decided to "warm" the bed. He closed the door and everything but as we were getting into it, one of his friends at the party let everyone know what we were doing. They all pressed on the door to eavesdrop on us when the door opened with the weight. Having close to 15 people barge in the room with you half naked tends to kill ones mood, if you ask me.
It was one of those please let the earth break in too and swallow me whole kind of moments!
Worst part is that his friend to this day reminds me of the incident and laughs his off while trying to hit on me. :S
This remind me of something. Once I was very very drunk, and well I was smacking my her to the head board during everything. He did realize and I was so drunk I just did not felt a thing... until the next day when I woke up with a huge bump on the head. I LMFAO just remembering...Quote:
Originally Posted by Larken85
My head*
He didn't realize*
I once felt a presence (nothing unusual, I have big dogs and they wander around) but it felt different and so I said (to my husband), "Someone is in the room with us" and a little voice said, "What are you doing to my daddy?" He explained that we were wrestling. I was mortified. She was only 4 and has never mentioned it so hopefully the psychological damage is slight.
My sister and her husband were right in the middle of it when someone gave a super-loud whistle just outside their window. For those who don't think it's possible for two people who are horizontal and joined at the hips to land on their feet in less than half a second, these two did just that! (Turned out it was the next-door neighbor who had locked himself out, trying to get the attention of someone inside. He got someone's attention, all right!)
Yup, those moments are priceless! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
We kick the dogs out of the room now, the constant scrutiny and someone licking your feet mid coitus, not a good thing. :(
Who licks your feet? Dogs or children?
LOL! The dogs. I never "let" the children in, and at this time in their lives they've learned to knock before opening the bedroom door. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Another problem with the dogs is that they think that hubby and I are playing when we're in the moment and they want to join in. :eek:
They are now booted into the hall where they mostly cry to be let in. It makes it hard to concentrate on what we're doing. :p
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