I'm 20 turning 21 in about 2 weeks. My boyfriend is 25 almost 26. We've been dating for a year December 9th and moved in together about 3 months ago. When we first started dating we were having sex almost 6 times a day. He couldn't keep his hands off me. After about a month it slowed to 3 or 4 times a week. Which was fine with me. Then after a about 3 months wee we're only doing it about once every 3 weeks. Problems really started when he would only have sex with me if I really pushed and he got drunk first. We had sex on our 6 month anniversary only because I pushed for it and he got really drunk first, a full 3 months went past before we had sex a again. This time he wasn't drunk but he asked if I was happy when he finished then turned over and went to sleep. So now it's been 5 1/2 months and we've only had sex once. I keep asking him if I'm doing something wrong or if he's no longer physically attracted to me. He always tells me no, he loves me, I'm his world and that he thinks I'm beautiful. In the past he has been very sexually active, has had many girlfriends, and has admitted to me that he has cheat on almost all of his previous girlfriends with sometimes up to 3 different girls. His friends and Ex's have confirmed this. I know he's not cheating on me though. Over the last 3 years he's become very anti-social he goes to work for a few hours a day, comes home and sits in front of his computer playing games for 12- 20 hours straight then goes to bed. It's the same thing everyday. He hates clubs, doesn't like bars, or large groups of people. When I ask him why he doesn't want to have sex he always says he's not in the mood or he's tired. Even when he's had 3 days off work and all he's done is sit on his computer all day... he's still tired?! He still looks at internet porn almost every day.I'm a very willing girl. I've tried wearing lingerie and sexy outfits and sexy notes,I'll do things in the bedroom for my guy most girls wouldn't. I get hit on :confused: allot by other guys so I guess I'm fairly attractive given most of them are just interested because I have natural 46DDD breasts, but yet my own guy isn't interested and that makes me feel very unattractive. I've told him this, he just says I'm sorry and says he'll try,but nothing ever changes. It's gotten to the point that if I even try to initiate sex or touch him below the waist he pushes my hands away and gets upset. Am I doing something wrong? What can I do to make my guy interested in me again?

Oh honey, I've been in your boat completely. I was dating this guy for almost 3 years, and just like you - at first sex was REALLY important... then it wavered down (which is NOT unusual) Once you get into the "swing" of things in a relationship with someone, and you settle into a groove... you tend to calm down on the sex too. However - I too was fine with doing it a couple times a week - and then it went to once every couple weeks - and then it went months - I tried everything possible, I was practically begging to no avail. As much as I hate to say it - It's not a good sign. I noticed when it started to waver, so did the relationship - it makes you feel lowly to have to beg for attention, and as much as people say sex isn't important, it really is. You need to sit down and have a long talk about it.

Drop your current BF and find another one.

I stand by my previous advice here.

Girl pack up all of your things and move somewhere. If all of this happened in such a short time, it will not be long till he does not even want you around. He is a cheater and this is just the first stage of changing sex partners for him. You know he is a cheater. He has admitted it and his friends have confirmed it and he probably cheated on someone to be with you. Find you a guy that will love your 46 DDD and make you an important part of his life.

Girl You Need To Pack Your Bags I Would Say To. He Is Not Giving It To You Because He Is Sleeping With Someone Else. He Is A Man And To Go For Five Months And Only On Time. Either It Is Another Woman Or A Man And That Is The Bottom Line. Believe Me Get Out Of This Relationship Now. He Is Using You To Be At Home Cooking And Cleaning For Him While He Wines And Dines And Has Sex With Another Female.

I know EXACTLY what you're going through... I have the exact problem happening with me right as we speak. The only difference is, that my boyfriend hasn't been with any other women... and so therefore hasn't cheated on anyone before. But I too have tried the sexy outfits and everything, only to be rejected. I've even gone as far as to ask him if he's gay.
I'm about ready to call it quits with him if things don't change soon.

You Should not have to beg for attention let alone sex. If you are unhappy... leave! You guys have been dating such a short time this should not be happening!! Find someone who will love you internally as well as physically! Sex is very important in a relationship!

I don't think I would put up with it this long either. If you have tried to find out what is wrong and he won't tell you, then no one can blame you for leaving- you tried. I would wonder, though, if he is depressed. You say he has stopped going out doing anything social, so how could he be cheating? Loss of sex drive and changes in behavior are a couple of signs of depression. Big breasts won't do anything about that.

Its simple.. he got bored and want new chick to go down on her... 6 times a day? Duh

It sounds like he's suffering from depression. He probably needs to see a doctor.

It sounds to me like you have a boyfriend who is severely depressed. If I were you and your willing, I would check out some information on depression. Then slowly talk to him about it. Men can be very sensitive about these things though, so good luck. I hope you get the answers you are looking for.

The same thing is happening to me, except my fiancé hasn't ever cheated in the past. He sits on the computer ALL THE TIME (or sleeps) and claims he's too tired to have sex. I don't know WHAT is going on with him. Just hang in there.. . I've tried everything, as you have, to no avail.

There's obviously someone out there who will treat you the way you want to be treated, and actually appreciate the things you do. Your boyfriend might be doing something on the internet you don't know about, maybe he just jacks off so much he never wants the actual thing. And if he would rather sit at the computer and make himself feel good rather than having you do everything possible to make him feel good, that's his choice. He isn't worth it, and if you think he is, try talking to him about it. Tell him that part of loving each other is expressing that love in intimate ways. You just sound like you could have so much better.
If this isn't at all the problem, what has been going on with him lately? Is there an ill family member? Or what could be on his mind that is really bothering him ? Try to talk to him about it, and get something out of him other than "i just don't feel like it," there has to be a reason he doesn't feel like it..

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Originally Posted by thepretender31

its simple..he got bored and want new chick to go down on her...6 times a day? duh

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I agree cause my ex had done that to me too!
I think its his nice way of telling you
He isn't feeling you anymore?
He prob. Wants you to break up with him?
So he doesn't feel bad? I say leave him!
I guess he doesn't know what he has
Until he lose it right?

I do not want to sound negative bur when my girlfriend did the same to me I found out later she was having an affair. ;o(

If all a relationship is built on is sex then when it fades there is nothing else to do but move on. He needs help that you can't give, but you knew that in from your first post.

Hi I'm new to this I found it because I was trying to find help to, my boyfriend is exactly the same he lives on a game called eve, were he speaks to loads of different people online who he swears are male not female. Which confused me even more as now I thought he might be gay, I don't know if that has crossed your mind with your boyfriend. My boyfriend also never wants to have sex but used to be mental for it, I thinks I have finally realised the problem they are to comfortable and us begging for sex and attention just lets them think they can behave like this even more, as you said you're an attractive girl go out have fun with your friends don't even try to have sex don't act lovable with him and he will soon realise he needs to change. Make him jealous good luck to you xx

I think now the most important things now is to chat with me more and understand what he feel this way and why he is acting this way. Say that you really mind this and hope that is it any thing that can improve the situation for it.

I think communication is the most important key to most problem

Triple D and he only wants to play video games? He either has someone on the side or he has some medical issues. That's so NOT normal for a guy in his 20's.

Ok, about the above post thinking your BF is Gay because he talks to men over the Voice Comms doesn't mean he is gay. EvE is a war game game with space ships, not with webcams I don't see how talking about how to attack another group of people or mine a piece of rock is sexual in anyway... but who knows.

Games have ruined many relationships mainly MMORPGs such as EvE and World of Warcraft. They are addictive and draw people into their own world which is different and obscure allowing them to behave in anyway you like to anyone you want.

There are Game rehabilitation clinics out there but if I were you I would do some research on the game and try talking to him about it. Anyone can get addicted, MMORPGs are like drugs, very powerful.

I for one have been addicted by WoW for about a year then suddenly realised how stupid I was, my sex drive went down because I was pretty much ALWAYS busy with something I NEEDED to do. When I came to realise I was actually addicted I simply managed to just stop playing it. After stopping the playing of games (or at least lowering it) my sex drive increased again and I was far more intrested in going out to bars like I were in the past. When I look back I wonder how the hell I spent a whole year of my life in front of a computer game... sad.

[QUOTE=chriso123]I for one have been addicted by WoW for about a year then suddenly realised how stupid I was, my sex drive went down because I was pretty much ALWAYS busy with something I NEEDED to do.

I have been in the same situation. And I'm a female. I played it to waste time while my fiancé was at his second job. Then, I noticed I was playing it long after he'd come home. I didn't realize how drawn to Guild Wars I was. Now that my fiancé has deployed. I play it once or twice a week for maybe an hour to three at most. Sometimes something so dramatic a change as that might make him realize what happened. I'm not saying join the military and deploy, but keep yourself busy with other things. It's going to be hard, but maybe if he realizes you aren't there at all. He screwed up. Granted. I still had my sex drive. Shoot... If he told me he wanted to go. I was on him like white on rice. I hope this helps :cool:

Sweety I think that the best thing to do is to sit down go to dinner or something and really bring it up tell me look honey I don't want to fight with you or want to get you mad but I really need to know why it is that we don't make love to each other any more I love you and I want to be with you physically let him know that you understand if there is something wrong and you won't get mad if he's cheating on you and I hope that he isn't let him know that you just want to know the truth!! Sounds like you guys really need to talk :)

Well here's an update. It is now March my BF and I have now been together almost a year and a half, We've only had sex once in the last 7 months and I have moved out back into my own place two weeks ago(Not on bad terms, we just had a lot of roommates and needed my own space.). I also got back into Vargas Pin-Up modeling again. My BF has finally gone out and started socializing again since I moved out. He hits the bar at least 3 times a week now with his house mates. He has stopped spending excessive time on his computer and even got a raise at work. He also still has no interest in sex with me what so ever. He constantly assures me that he loves me and that he doesn't know what he would do without me. We're still close but there is absolutely no intimacy in our relationship. No sex, only quick pecks on the lips, and very little cuddling. I'm still convinced he's not cheating on me and we've talked about our intimacy often and he swears he is not bored with me. He says that he just isn't that interested in sex anymore. I don't know what to think anymore but I'm still with him and it's kind of a "I'll take what I can get, when I can get it." situation right now.

I think moving out is best for you but I find it interesting that once you left he started going out more. To me the whole situation comes off as though he's gay. A lot of gay men want to have a public girlfriend for whatever purpose. I don't know if this is appropriate but your kind of a good looking woman and you seem to be the aggressor so if he's not gay then he has to see a doctor. Maybe he's afraid of doctors but he can't be in a relationship forever if he's not going to do his half.

Wow you changed pictures quick.

I'm positive he's not gay. He calls me every time he goes out to see if I want to go. I usually decline because I work mornings. I did go out to one of the bars he frequents now this past week with him and some of his friends and spent the majority of the night drinking ( as did I) and discussing computer games with one of our mutual friends and her boyfriend/His House mate. As far as him going to the doctor it'll never happen. I'm just laying off him and I'm going to wait and see what happens.

You deserve better and do not have to settle. The thing that sets off red flags is he seems to not be willing to even see if there is a problem, so where does that leave you? I mean he could at least pretend to care every now and then right? Lose this loser and get a real man for a real woman.

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Originally Posted by kryptonightengale

I'm positive he's not gay.

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Well I can't say for sure either but how can you be positive? He has no interest in you in a sexual nature and your practically offering it to him.

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Originally Posted by kryptonightengale

As far as him going to the doctor it'll
never happen.

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I hate doctors as well and it's proably a tough subject to cover with the doctor but at some point he has to face this. If he's not gay or there's nothing physically wrong then I agree with Tal that he probably isn't the guy for you if you value a sexual relationship.

Viagra!!

He's not gay. He still shows interest in the opposite sex and he has never showed any signs of being interested in other men. I have several gay friends I hang out with often. He hates being around them but he tries to be nice because he knows there my friends. And as far as viagra, I don't think he needs it. He can pop a boner he just has no interest in using it.

What is it about this guy that makes you stay with him?

Majority of the time when a partner won't let you touch him or doesn't want to touch you is because there avoiding you from finding out something, Like that they have a STD

Sounds like my situation, but I think I've got you beat on this one.

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 5 yrs now, and he had sex wth me (2) times in 2006 and it's going on 6 months and still NO SEX.

I'm not bragging, but I am a beautiful 29 year old who loves sex and has done many things to try to intise my boyfriend in having sex with me, but he gets mad if I put lingerie on, ask him for sex or get upset over it. If I get upset/pissed and express my feelings about him not wanting to be with me sexually, he says something like "when you act like that, I have no desire to be with you." How about the 6 months that I've been perfect and we've gotten along fine? He's NOT gay, he enjoyes going to the strip clubs, looking at internet porn, but when it comes to me, he doesn't show interest at all, it's as if I'm invisible. I try to not let it bother me, but I'm NOT 90 years old, I'm NOT ugly, I have an athletic build and love to dress sexy. If I were to stand in front of him naked, he'd tell me to move so he could see what's on the TV. It hurts, I've cried many nights over it, but learned to keep my mouth shut, if I mention the "S" word (sex) he'll get pissed & annoyed.

I know, all you guys are going to tell me to dump him, cause he's cheating or has lost interest in me. Trust me, I've thought the same thing, but can anyone justify his actions? For all you guys, would there ever be a reason you wouldn't want to have sex with your girlfriend? Especially months on end?

One night, I went down on him and he was clearly enjoying it. He stopped me and pulled me close to him, I thought he wanted to slow down, to avoid blowing the load too soon and perhaps wanted to have sex with me. About 30 seconds passed and he then said to me, "do you want to watch TV?"

I went to the bathroom, cried for a moment, cleared the tears and joined him downstairs to watch TV. How normal is this?

You know, I don't know, maybe this generation has sort of been desensitized to sex. There’s really nothing mysterious about it anymore. You can see it on TV at anytime of the day. And there’s nothing you can’t find on the internet so maybe these guys are just not finding anything special about it like men in previous generation would have because it’s so much more out in the open.

Generally all couples go through this at one point or another, and I believe its not about sex at all, but is a symptom of a greater problem that the couple is having. Sure there are those that illness and medication can be a root cause, but for healthy people, an honest look at the dynamics of the relationship must be looked at. You may think everything is great, but if one or the other partner has a personal problem, such as resentments, stress, a long unresolved issue, then the whole relationship suffers and just comes out as no satisfaction in the bed room. I think the most common causes are communication or the lack of, is a big key in solving this problem. Most times a professional is needed to guide us through the process of learning how to communicate and then how to communicate with a partner. Until the layers are ripped away and a couple can learn what the other is thinking and talking about, the problem can only go from the bedroom to other areas of the couples life. Believe it or not that little tiff, or loose word last year if not resolved to satisfaction of both, then it just grows from there, and get to be monsters that tear a couple apart. Even a little frustration can fester in ones minds for years and then boom, a piece of burnt toast can have everyone running for a divorce lawyer. So I'll just say don't take it for granted your life is perfect except for sex, because I'll bet your partner has been holding on to an angry moment and now it's a quiet rage. The key is talk and listen. Learn to talk and listen, without judgement or malice, and as you get better at it, then and only then can you identify and resolve the problems in relationships, to the benefit of both partners. How do I know for sure? Because I've been married more than 30 years and we can still talk the draws off each other and there is no Viagra, or aspirin in my house at all. Talk and listen to each other. If you can't, get counseling. If he, or she won't go, YOU go yourself. Sorry for the length , but I hope I helped.

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Originally Posted by Jessyfay

Majority of the time when a partner won't let you touch him or doesn't want to touch you is because ther avoiding you from finding out something, Like that they have a STD

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He does not have an STD. He and I have both been tested together out of respect for one another.

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Originally Posted by chuff

What is it about this guy that makes you stay with him?

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I love him and I know that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship. Despite the fact that it does bother me and makes me feel extremely unattractive I still love him.

Don't take his problem personally. I just wonder why he doesn't try to work with you to solve this prolem. Could you be more into him than he is into you? Healthy relationships are made up of equals that work together for the benefit of both. Do you honestly see this happening with you and your B/F?

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Originally Posted by kryptonightengale

I love him and I know that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship. Despite the fact that it does bother me and makes me feel extremely unattractive I still love him.

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Sex may not be the most important thing, but it's pretty much nonexistent in your relationship so it's not a thing. This is huge deal to you and he doesn't seem to care so there is some kind of dynamic that isn't being explored or is ignored. If he's not gay and won't go see a doctor for you, won't go see a councelor for himself, and you continue to put up with it then I have to ask other then that you love him, what is stopping you from enjoying your life? Loving someone is great but when it's at the expense of your own happiness I don't think it is something that needs to be corrected or you get out of the situation. If he was taking steps to resolve this then I could understand you position but he doesn't seem to care. Well if he doesn't care and your passionate about this situation then why are you the one who continues to back down from it while he gets a free pass?

Who can go from having sex 6 times a day to having it once every 6 months? No one that's in a relationship and has it available to them all the time. Either he is finding the time to give it to someone else or he's not interested in women. You say he looks at internet porn all day? Maybe its not the women he's looking at? Who could (or would want to) watch that much porn and not get horny from it?? He has the female available but not touching her... it's not the female he wants. Sorry.

Could it be too much porn or self gratification? Either way not good.