Ask Me Help Desk - Sexual positions

Sexual positions

My wife and I were having a discussion regarding sexual positions and what is the favorite sex position for a man, the one that most men would like the best. I felt that is was with the woman on the bottom with her legs pulled back and spread wide with her holding them in this position or the man holding them. She does not like this position because see says she gets no stimulation and can not have an orgasm. She likes it when her legs are down and together with me on top which makes it difficult for me to maintain for any length of time because my knees are not under me and I need to hold myself up like a "push-up" on your knees. So we were wondering what position is the most liked for men or women.:confused:

Well, no one really knows the true answer. We need a poll for that.

Personally, as a woman, I prefer the standardised missionary position during lovemaking because we can see each other's faces and to me it's the most sensual position of all. But to reach organism more quickly and effectively, I prefer from behind as the penetration is deeper. Actually, my boyfriend was really surprised when I told him about this. He thought most women take it from behind (through vaginal, not anus) just because they want to please their men, a lot of whom would be aroused seeing his partner's bums.

Hmm, that's very interesting. I always thought that most men liked "doggy" because they can thrust in deeper and better. As a female, I don't mind any of them. Maybe I'm just weird.

A mans favorite position is the one he is getting next or the one he just had. It is often more the just having, than the position

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hathor

Well, no one really knows the true answer. We need a poll for that.

Personally, as a woman, I prefer the standardised missionary position during lovemaking because we can see each other's faces and to me it's the most sensual position of all. But to reach organism more quickly and effectively, I prefer from behind as the penetration is deeper. Actually, my boyfriend was really surprised when I told him about this. He thought most women take it from behind (through vaginal, not anus) just because they want to please their men, a lot of whom would be aroused seeing his partner's bums.

Perhaps a poll would be a good idea. The issue in my question pertains to weather or not the woman when on the bottom likes it better with her legs spread wide and pulled back as far as possible to give the deepest penetration or if she likes it better with her legs down flat on the bed and together or any position between the two extremes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronzebabe

Hmm, that's very interesting. I always thought that most men liked "doggy" because they can thrust in deeper and better. As a female, I don't mind any of them. Maybe I'm just weird.

"Doggy" is also my favorite for the very reasons you give. But the question is what does the woman like better when on her back. Is it with her legs spread wide and pulled all the way back as far as possible or with her legs down flat on the bed and together or any position in between the two extremes.

There are so many positions that are ideal for men and women that would make a poll endless.

What works for one woman, may or may not be a favorite for another. Find the ones that you enjoy and always try to throw a new position in, whenever possible. If those are your two favorite positions, try them each for a bit, switching in some alternatives and new ambitious positions.

Sometimes on top of being unstimulated, as we age our bodies lose that ability to maintain an over the head, wide eagle spread for extended times... and unless a painful experience is the goal, switching positions often can aleviate some of the discomfort of maintaining difficult positions for either party.

"Cowgirl" and "reverse cowgirl" allow the women much more control over stimulation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeepItSimpleStupid

"Cowgirl" and "reverse cowgirl" allow the women much more control over stimulation.

And personally 'reverse cowgirl' is one of my least favorite positions, as a female. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

And personally 'reverse cowgirl' is one of my least favorite positions, as a female. :D

Same here! :)

Like Justy said before, everyone is different. What works for one person won't work for another.

The key is communication between you and your partner, figure out what the two of you like and then go from there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by drboni

Perhaps a poll would be a good idea. The issue in my question pertains to weather or not the woman when on the bottom likes it better with her legs spread wide and pulled back as far as possible to give the deepest penetration or if she likes it better with her legs down flat on the bed and together or any position between the two extremes.

I pefer on top to any other posistion as I get to control what's going on but when I am on bottom I would def pefer my legs pulled back as far as they can without being spread too wide as then I get the deep penetration and my legs quite close together but that's just my personal preferance.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

And personally 'reverse cowgirl' is one of my least favorite positions, as a female. :D

Oh my god, reverse cowgirl sux as a woman lol I agree.
Our legs give way, its hard to balance... can't do that one for long at all... lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meow420

oh my god, reverse cowgirl sux as a woman lol i agree.
Our legs give way, its hard to balance.... can't do that one for long at all...lol

Same here... your legs give out pretty quick then you have to lean on your arms... not a pretty view I'm sure :p

One of my favourite is the spooning position... the more you arch your back the deeper you can go or vice versa... puts you in control of what happens unlike doggy (which isn't bad, but not a favourite)

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Originally Posted by shazamataz

One of my favourite is the spooning position...

Spooning is great when you want to be a bit lazy too! Love it :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meow420

spooning is great when you want to be a bit lazy too! Love it :p

Early mornings when you aren't fully awake yet ;)

Me upright, woman on her side with top leg wrapped around me. Awesome!

Do I really have to pick just one? This sucks!

I agree with the reverse cowgirl, it's funny how guys seem to think it's our fav when really, I think it's theirs. Not a big fan.

I like cowgirl, but more fun if you switch it up. Who says you have to pick a position and stick with it for the entire time?

Doggy style is okay, hits a lot of great spots, but only if the guy knows what he's doing. I don't like to be jackhammered into the head board, head injuries tend to spoil the mood.

Spooning, love it, but again, only with a guy that knows his stuff. Too many times it's "you slipped out again?" TMI?

So many positions, so little time... sigh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by saffron2903

I pefer on top to any other posistion as i get to control whats going on but when i am on bottom i would def pefer my legs pulled back as far as they can without being spred too wide as then i get the deep penetration and my legs quite close together but thats just my personal preferance.

Thanks for the straight forward answer. YOu have been the only one to say which you like the best when on the bottom, legs up or down. Hopefully some other girls can answer this also.

Quote:

Originally Posted by drboni

Thanks for the straight forward answer. YOu have been the only one to say which you like the best when on the bottom, legs up or down. Hopefully some other girls can answer this also.

You never asked that specific question?
You only asked what position people liked best...

I agree with Alty... why stick with just one position? Lol

OK well when I'm doing boring 'ol missionary I prefer my legs up, how's that?

I still don't understanding having to choose.

Of course it's cowboy if I just want an easy Ooooo!

I love when a man is sitting and riding on top from that position, that is probably my #2.

My absolute favorite is being mounted from behind with your legs closed, it just seems so submissive I guess and I love that, but I might fly solo on this #1. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

My absolute favorite is being mounted from behind with your legs closed, it just seems so submissive I guess and I love that, but I might fly solo on this #1. :D

I have to agree with you there its not my fav but second best def so no your not the only one :)

And from what I gather and through my experience for her it changes up,so I try to keep it that way not too much of one thing.for the man it on his back where she's doing all the work either top or oral always a crowd plezzer

Quote:

Originally Posted by zippit

and from what i gather and through my experience for her it changes up,so i try to keep it that way not to much of one thing.for the man it on his back where shes doing all the work either top or oral always a crowd plezzer

You have crowds in your bedroom? Interesting...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

You have crowds in your bedroom? Interesting...

Don't we all? Oops, tmi? :eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by drboni

The issue in my question pertains to weather or not the woman when on the bottom likes it better with her legs spread wide and pulled back as far as possible to give the deepest penetration or if she likes it better with her legs down flat on the bed and together or any position between the two extremes.

All women are different. Apparently, your wife is not into the position you would prefer. Frankly, for anyone with bad hips, it sounds awful. Perhaps you should find a book of sexual positions and the two of you can read it together and experiment? Sounds like fun to me!

I keep one by the bed...

Then we play pick a number 1 - 120... since they are all numbered we agree to throw that one in the mix or at least try it.

Of course we have to omit the orgy ones, but the rest we give a whirl...

Somehow my partner stays in the bj numbers... hmmm, I think I am being dupped!

To the OP:

If your wife were to do NOTHING but fondle your balls, would that get you off? Sure, it feels good--but would ONLY that get you to orgasm?

My guess is "probably not".

Same thing with any position for (most) women that doesn't involve the clitoral area. THAT is where the bundle of nerves equivalent to the head of your penis is. You don't engage that, and it feels good, but will NEVER get you off.

No wonder she likes her position better than yours---yours is the equivalent to her of ONLY stroking your balls.

O.K. I give up, call me stupid (or nieve) but what's Cowgirl?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dom1961

O.K. I give up, call me stupid (or nieve) but what's Cowgirl?

Simple answer; Girl on top facing the guy.

More complicated answer, Google. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Simple answer; Girl on top facing the guy.

More complicated answer, google. ;)

With safe search on or off Alty :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Simple answer; Girl on top facing the guy.

More complicated answer, google. ;)

That's cowgirl.

See Urban Dictionary, May 26: Sharewear for those terms you don't know.

There is no one size/position fits all.

Period.

One lover could ALWAYS get off with man on top, missionary, with finger stim at the cl!toris... whether it was her or me...

The next lover NEVER got off missionary, even though it "felt great" and she was willing to self stim. From behind or from the side was better for her, and she absolutely needed "self help" to get there...

So... there is no "perfect position" that works for all...

My fav position... one that'll push me over the top in no time is man on bottom, back to the bed... woman on him, back to him... man inside her... the man has complete access to her waist, her breasts, her neck, complete control... and the weight of her arse on his hips is absolutely perfect pressure in all the right places.

The woman can get off with self stim... but I'm not going to say it's a comfortable position for the woman... at least not without a few pillows thrown in for neck support.

As for what the woman likes... its been COMPLETELY different from woman to woman.

One ONLY got off with oral. Another could get all with missionary and finger stim. Another couldn't ever get off with oral, but could in about any position if she was primed and the "driver" of sex...

Sorry. I wish there was some perfect recipe. Or not. Maybe the fact there isn't a "perfect" recipe makes the discovery more fun.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

there is no one size/position fits all.

period.

one lover could ALWAYS get off with man on top, missionary, with finger stim at the cl!toris... whether it was her or me...

the next lover NEVER got off missionary, even though it "felt great" and she was willing to self stim. from behind or from the side was better for her, and she absolutely needed "self help" to get there...

so... there is no "perfect position" that works for all...

my fav position... one that'll push me over the top in no time is man on bottom, back to the bed... woman on him, back to him... man inside her... the man has complete access to her waist, her breasts, her neck, complete control... and the weight of her arse on his hips is absolutely perfect pressure in all the right places.

the woman can get off with self stim... but im not going to say its a comfortable position for the woman... at least not without a few pillows thrown in for neck support.

as for what the woman likes... its been COMPLETELY different from woman to woman.

one ONLY got off with oral. another could get all with missionary and finger stim. another couldnt ever get off with oral, but could in about any position if she was primed and the "driver" of sex...

sorry. i wish there was some perfect recipe. or not. maybe the fact there isnt a "perfect" recipe makes the discovery more fun.

Okay, I changed my mind.

Any position that involves KP is the best!

KP, once again you have me melting in my seat wishing for some release.

Where the heck are you? Come back! :eek:

OWT? Sigh. :(

My wife likes modified "Doggy" with a pillow under her hips, says she gets more clitoral stimulation that way. And she must she get off about four or five times every time.

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

You never asked that specific question?
You only asked what position people liked best...

I agree with Alty... why stick with just one position? lol

ok well when I'm doing boring 'ol missionary I prefer my legs up, hows that?

Thanks for the answer to my question. Guess I was too vague in my original question. The "which position" I was referring to was the one I described in the question. I would just like to have an answer to which is preferred by the women when on their back. Legs up or legs or legs down?

I am a male, however, in my experience, women have liked it better when they have had their legs up over my shoulders... more stimulation apparently.

Uhm... ask the woman...

Seriously... there Isn't one position fits all...

One lover absolutely loved her ankles at my shoulders... the one before her... shed rather keep them bedside...

You simply cannot say "what do you women want" and expect a recipe thatll fit all women all the time...

Sure... there are some common "themes" we can think about as men... its taken me years to take the time to sensitize a woman right, and even now, I still have to fight my instincts... its hard as hell to be patient and not roam too much, too soon...

But if I've learned anything along the way... it is that each woman needs particular attention... and that means "legs up" or "legs down" doesn't mean a damn thing unless you talk to the woman you are with...

Sorry. Wish I could tell you one or the other. Doesn't work like that.

To address what sounds like the issue... I like having my legs up while I'm on my back. But to have an orgasm, in the missionary position, without self-stimulation requires legs together.

Yes, he complained that I wanted him to do push-ups. We talked about the whole thing and tried stuff. What we came up with is for him to place his legs outside mine and with knees bent; that way he has more than arms holding him up. A pillow placed on my chest is another tactic to save his arms. I love it when he stops to rest, anticipation!

I love kp's answer but I want to add...

One position that a woman may LOVE with one partner may not work for antoher partner.

For example, with my ex a would always get off in missionary.

With my current partner I cannot get off this way, I have to be on top.

So it not only varies from woman to woman... even the women can like different positions with different partners.

For me that completely depends on whether I want to orgasm.

If I want an orgasm, when I'm on my back, then he's doing pushups.

Legs up lets him get deeper, but gives me absolutely NO clitoral stimulation. I enjoy it, but that's more for him than it is for me, because unless my hand is down there, I ain't getting off that way.