I never got an orgasm with my boyfriend although we have great sex and am tired of faking it , cause if I told him he will get really pssed at me , and he always tells me that I need to loose weight, I don't know what to do .
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I never got an orgasm with my boyfriend although we have great sex and am tired of faking it , cause if I told him he will get really pssed at me , and he always tells me that I need to loose weight, I don't know what to do .
It's obvious why you don't have an orgasm your not comfortable- nor should you be! He told you to lose weight, did he even say it in a caring manner or was it out of anger or spite?
Sarah
I think the thing you should lose is the boyfriend! He should not be telling you to lose weight! That is down right mean spirited. You should find someone who accepts you the way you are! You should never stay with a man that berates you or tries to destroy yourself confidence!
You should dump the loser and find a man that satisfies your mental and emotional needs and perhaps then your sexual ones as a side note. A relationship based solely on sex is doomed.
I have to disagree just by a bit.
I think if you tell your partner they need to lose weight because of health reasons then that is OK. I think it's okay to tell them that they could benefit from losing a few pounds when they ask you "am I fat?".
However this guy is repeatedly telling her which is cruel in which she does need to lose the boyfriend.
That's just my opinion.
Sarah
I know that he loves me and he is telling me to loose weight cause he loves me but I don't know I love him so much , but maybe he is not saying stuff in the correct way . I don't really and I can't just dump him there is a lot between us , I know him from 4 years and this really hard .
First, it is a horrible disservice to yourself and your partner to fake an orgasm.
Second, your relationship doesn't sound healthy, in fact, it sounds quite toxic, but there is only limited information given.
Third, if you are not emotionally comfortable with your relationship it will be difficult to achieve an orgasm. Many women never have the opportunity to orgasm during intercourse. Women have to talk to their partner and share what they enjoy and be comfortable enough in the relationship to relax and enjoy it.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-345564.html
View her other thread. This guy is an absolute jerk. He is in no way trying to help her health, physically or mentally.
OK justwantfair tell me what do you want to know so that you can help me
The real question here, is do you love you?Quote:
Originally Posted by basii
You have been in a relationship for four years, while faking orgasms the entire time.
Telling a partner to lose weight is extremely difficult and if he told you as blunt as you need to lose weight, he isn't considerate of your feelings.
Something more appropriate would be to start eating healthier, start working out together, more physical activities.
I don't think this sounds like a very healthy relationship or communication.
You should leave the relationship that's what you should do. This guys sounds like a jerk. I know jerks- my ex was a jerk. He's just going to beat you down.
Leave him- you'll feel a hell of a lot better-- I can promise you that!
Sarah
Taking the other thread into consideration...
What you need to do,
Come to the states and finish your education. If he is not willing to wait for you while you build yourself then he wasn't much of a boyfriend to begin with (which he isn't).
I would imagine he is your first 'true' love, but you need to worry about you. You are young and have a whole life ahead of you. You will change and grow if you continue your education and stepping away from this toxic situation maybe just what you need to find out about yourself and make some brand new friends, while gaining incredible experiences.
The REAL question here is: How old are you?
From reading your other posts it sounds like this relationship is a one way street.
You give him everything and get nothing in return.
That is not a relationship,that is him using you.
You need to honor and respect yourself if you want others to do the same.
The only thing you need to lose is him.He is excess baggage and then work on your weight ,if it is bothersome to you!
Do I love me ? You
And does he love me yes (I think ) I thin he don't love I think he is just used to me like am in his life and if I leae him there will be a whole lot of emptness in his life .
And he was my best friend for 3 years and I have been with him for a year and yes I do fake an orgasm for a year and we can't exersie or do anything together because we don't live together and I live in saudia araiba and he does tooo and its illegal her to see guys and hang oyt with them just like that . I will go to jail for that .
And maybe he is telling me this cause he is used to tell me this while we were friends .
Am 20 years old
Then please type like an adult.Quote:
Originally Posted by basii
Chat speak is not allowed on Ask Me Help Desk, but especially not on the Adult Sexuality boards.
If you use chat speak, I assume that you are 13 and too young to talk about sex with adults.
OK
Honestly if he does not love you the way you. You need to tell him goodbye. You should not have faked orgasm in the first place. Why did you feel the need to fake it and give a show to your boyfriend? Most women do not orgasm during sex. It can and does happen but there are more stories of women who can not. So you need to communicate with your boyfriend. Tell him that you enjoy sex and it is awesome but I do not get a orgasm. Who cares if he would really be pissed at you. If he is telling you to lose weight? Is this Lose weight because I am worried about your health or lose weight or I do not want to be with you? You need to ask him these questions. My honest opinion from what I have read is that It sounds like this relationship is more about the sex then the relationship, THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION.Quote:
Originally Posted by basii
For those of you who have not seen it here is the other thread and half of the puzzle:
Quote:
I had a really good friend and he know me so good and I told that I loved him and we back boyfriend and girlfriend and now we have been going out for almost a year and I enjoy being with I'm and time passes soooooo fast and I love him to death , but the fact that he tells me from noe that we will never ever get married and that am getting fat and that our sex life now is sooo like a routin and that I caught him ling to me in my face really hurts and I have sacrifsed a lot for him I mived from egypt for him and am not going to the states to finish my university just for him so that I can stay with him .
What should I doo he always wants more from me what should I do ?
I agree and that is what I have thinking latly that it's more about the sex and there is no communication .
How can I communicate with him ?
And + I live in saudia arabia and when I go over to his place there is no time so we take every chance to have sex and we mostly communicate on the phone the whole time .
We never went and had dinner before or take a walk or go shopping together or any of that because its illegal and when I see him its very risky .
Honey, he is USING you for SEX.
Get rid of him.
I agree, it is about sex...
I think that is the consensus with everyone here.
Do you want to be with somebody that just wants you for sex?
Or do you want to find somebody that wants to have a relationship with you.
I want to have a relationship
This guy won't give you a relationship the only thing he'll give you is relations.
He is a poor boyfriend. A poor companion and a poor best friend. In return you are treated poorly.
Don't waste any of your time with this guy- you are much more valuable than he makes you feel.
You can do it, you can leave him. I can guarantee you'll feel happier and a lot more confident.
Sarah
I understand that it hurts, and that you have genuine feelings for this guy. Yes, it will probably hurt to break it off but think of all of the rotten things he tells you and how much pain you will be spared in the future.
Not only are you risking yourself, as you've stated that the relationship is illegal and it could get you in trouble, you are risking yourself for a guy that is only using you. He's made it clear that marriage is not an option and that he doesn't want a serious future. It's not worth it.
I don't understand why it would be illegal or risky?Quote:
Originally Posted by basii
Anyway.. if you are in danger because of this guy this more than enough reason to leave him.
Sarah
If you want to stop faking it just stop. When he wonders why e can't get you off he'll just try harder. Then maybe he'll be able to make you orgasm. But no more faking it.
I wouldn't tell him about the lies but I'd stop faking it. But that's just what I would do.
I think any woman that's faking orgasms is also faking a relationship.
If you can't be honest about if you are getting off or not then you can't complain about not getting off. Don't do telling someone they are doing everything right then behind their back complain that they do nothing right.
Incidentally... while that sort of thing is clearly illegal in the more oppressive Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia... and northern Packistan where the place is run by religious police without a clue about what's really in the Koran... I didn't think Eqypt where she comes from based on a previous post is that oppressive and archaic in their mindset. Not from people I knew who have lived there.
However She is listing Saudi Arabia as location and everything I know about that place is yes.. it IS that oppressive if you are a woman. You have to wear a Burqa in 120+ F weather outdoors ( not required indoors)... you can't drive a car, you can't walk with a man you are not married to or related to in public.
However based on her actually being in Saudi Arabia I'd be hesitant to tell her to do anything that he might consider objectionable... she has very few rights there as a woman (and thus is a second class citizen) and bad things could easily happen, or so I hear.
The problem with you is that you want a boyfriend but he doesn't want a girlfriend. This is causing you to keep holding on to him when there is nothing to hold on to or even save. Open your eyes and realize the two of you wants are different.
If you loved yourself you wouldn't tolerant this situation and deal with the put downs. You would have been left this sitation.
Also, if you know you can end up in jail behind this situation why do you keep continuing it. More of a reason to leave. Why risk yourself get whip or jailed? Even death? Quit while your ahead.
Thanks smoothy for your words but what you all are not getting is that my boyfriend treats me really well and that he is such a nice guy .
Do you think that its wrong that he actually tells me that he doesn't want a marriage and that there is no future for us , well I think that took a lot of courage out of him to say that .
And in saudia arabia its really more like jail and I can see my boyfriend in a safe place that are called compounds that are secured by armys and they are secured because the compounds are american compounds and you have to get singed in , and the reliougs police itself can't go in there , but what am trying to say is that what makes me hold on to him is that he is such a nice guy and I know that he loves me and I changed him a lot and he changed me a lot but sometimes he doesn't know how say stuff . He puts them in the wrong phrase .
mudweiser : its illegal because its just like that I was born and raised up here but am originally from sudan , my dad is from sudan and my mother is from egypt .
In saudia arabia if the reliougs police catch you with a guy and he is not related to you in any way you can go to jail or get whiped or death sometimes byt these reliougs police people are mostly men that are wayyyy to reliougs that they use islam is a weapon against girls and the reliougs police they are men that were in jail or drug addicts and they get brain washed like littralyy and nobody likes them here but what can we doo.
I'm sorry but what you say and "really nice guy" just don't match. I'm sure you want to see the good in him but honey he is just dragging you down.
It's not courage to say "I don't want a future with you." It's a complete and total lack of caring. Why stay with a dead end guy that is a jerk?
Saying he does not want a marriage. Saying there is no future for you. That is not a nice guy, but that is a guy that is just using you.Quote:
Originally Posted by basii
You do need to stop seeing him and stop going with him because he just wants you for sex.
You did say you want a relationship well it is time to stop seeing this person and find somebody that actually wants a relationship with you.
Your best decision you will make is to follow your education right now.
You have an opportunity to go to University in the states, I think you would be wise to take it.
As a man speaking... he is telling you he likes you enough ot have sex with you (which means nothing) but he doesn't like you enough to ever want to get married to you. Its not courage to say that, its arrogance. He basically says you are good enough for sex... but not good enough to be a wife. He doesn't have to be a mean or a bad guy to say that. He basically told you that there is no future with him. If you have a chance to leave and go to a university... I would recommend doing it. Saudi Arabia might be better than the Sudan... but there are any number of better places to live if you get a chance.Quote:
Originally Posted by basii
It seems that you really want him for the long run. But his mind is not in the same place as yours. He has stated there is no future, please don't deceive yourself by saying he does not know how to express himself verbally. You seem like a very sweet person and your kindness deserves appreciation, find someone who is going to love you for you and not you 20 pounds lighter. Perhaps when you leave he may come to the realization that he does need you or want you for a long-term relationship? Sometimes you just go to let it go.Quote:
Originally Posted by basii
Good luck hun,
Btw; when I graduated from nursing school I almost went to saudi arabia the money is really good, but I could not go their knowing myself and my views on religion and spirituality:eek:
Do you know what an orgasm is ? First try finding out the meaning of Orgasm. It is also not unusual for some woman NOT to have an Orgasm, but still derive pleasure. There is a chance you do not know your hot spots.
OK I actually faced his with all of this and I said that I don't want you telling me that we will not get married and I was like its not like I want to get married to you but at least don't tell me that in my face , cause what you are saying is thatam only your sex toy and that am not good enough to be your wife . And I was like I don't want you to tell me that yes we will get married and all that but don't cut me of hope of having a future with you .
He was like are you bored of me do you want us to breakup . I was like no I want you to talk like communicate and he was like I don't want I will call you back I was like OK watever .
So yes am waiting for his call and see what will he say...
Thanks lighterr that is so sweet of you
Quote:
by lighterrr)you really want him for the long run. But his mind is not in the same place as yours. He has stated there is no future, please don't deceive yourself by saying he does not know how to express himself verbally. You seem like a very sweet person and your kindness deserves appreciation, find someone who is going to love you for you and not you 20 pounds lighter. Perhaps when you leave he may come to the realization that he does need you or want you for a long-term relationship? Sometimes you just go to let it go.
Thanks a lot but I really can't handel breaking up with because we went through a lot together .and I know if I leave him he will not come back to me beacause I will be all the way in the stats .
And if I breakup with him I garenti you that I will go back to drugs...
:(:confused::o
Am so confused and I want him really bad like when am with him I feel safe and soooooooo happy and time passes soooooooooo fast .
I really don't know what to do god I sound so pathatic...
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