Ask Me Help Desk - Your worst sexual experience.

Your worst sexual experience.

Hi, I thought it would be cool to share our WORST sexual experience. I have few but here goes a couple:

A while back I was dating this guy I really liked until it turned sexual. They say size doesn't matter but it does to me. He had to be no more than 2 inches, while hard. The width was, well skinny like my pinky finger.This is no lie.

Regardless, I still tried to make the best of it and no matter what position I tried it wasn't working so I gave up and pretended I had a sudden cramp.

He asked "if it's okay if he could masterbute, I said sure. In my head I was thinking "is that even possible?".

So I watch and it was a pitiful site. He couldn't even should his whole hand, he used 2 fingers. When he was done the only thing I was amazed at was the amount of that came from him. I've never seen a guy have more then him. It was like a bucketfull.

Then he tried to please me orally, another bad idea. It was horrible! I had to make him stop. I never saw him again after that encounter.

Another time me and my fiancé were doing it in a park at about 1am when some drunk stepped on the back of my right knee & fell flat of his face next to us...

Oh, and one thing. Never have sex in the woods because you might get poison ivy in some unmentionable places. That's all going say.

Liz

P.S. Thanks in advance for sharing.:-)

Thanks for sharing Liz...and that is a "micro"...yikes!
Worst? well, thats the first one...i met a guy in school. At the time i was 15. I like him, and thought he was nice. He asked me several times to go out, and I finally gave in. MISTAKE!!
He turned into a monster. He had told me we were going to a movie. We started in that direction, and he pulled off on a small side road.
I asked him what was going on, and he attacked me.
Yeah, great first experience.
I never saw him again.

The funny one I had, was several years ago, when I was about 30, a "friend" of mine wanted to be intimate. I really liked him, but I wasn't really THAT into him. I guess he thought I would like to have sex if he let me "feel" him. Uh, it was a tiny one! That two inch one, well, that would have put him to shame! I jerked my hand back. He acted really cocky about his "member", and before I could stop myself, I said, "wow, another inch there and You'd be a woman too."
Bad Girl! haha!
Sorry

Hard to decide which is the worst but here are two examples...

#1. WOman was older, very friendly in public... affectionate etc, 10 years older and divorced...

In bed she laid there like a dead fish... literally I had to shake her a few times to see if she was still breathing... I got up and snuck out at 3am rather than face her in the morning.

#2 This one never really got far... again wioman older than me... went to my place and she asked me to go down on her first... OH MY GAWD.....what died in there, I almost puked right then and there.. its been nearly 20 years and that smell is still burned into my nose. I literally had to choke my lunch back down... gagging and all, was reflex and could not help it... she got embarrassed and left.

Smoothy your second one was the worst. Nobody wants to go downtown only for it to smell like the sanitation department. Hehe

And I know she knew it wasn't so fresh down there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

Smoothy your second one was the worst. Nobody wants to go downtown only for it to smell like the sanitation department. hehe

And I know she knew it wasn't so fresh down there.

I'm not so sure she knew... she did smell like she was fairly freshly out of the shower... But I haven't smelled an odor so foul outside of a garbage dumpster in August outside of a fish market. No I didn't actually notice it until my face was like right there then POW!!

I mean that is permanently burned into my olfactory sensors...

I had been with this girl for about 3months already we had alread had sex before and it was good not the greates bt it did it 4me bt well this one time she was in the mood I was tired had gotten out of work and she called and told me 2go over so I did we started normally we did everything I went down on her and she came 2ice... as soon as I put it in she came again I was thinking wow this is going to be fun then like 5minutes after she came again and we were at it lyk 30minutes and she came maybe 4times and she got 2a point wher she was so drained she told me2 stop and am not a big guy in that area bt I usually last a while and can do it at least 3times well anyway since I didn't finish she told me she would go down on me and I thot OK should be fun bt I think she had never done it before because she didn't even keep me hard and didn't do much 4me...

I guess she had fun bt well I stayed hot and heavy.

Lol... Yea I have had that happened to me before a big no no dude thought he was getn it and I didn't feel nothing never again!

There was this beautill babe that every body thought she was hot by the time I joined this campus!
How ever no body would go for her... for some reason I thought I would try find our why myself!
So I make ma move just to find out that she has an xtra part in her private parts!

My ex and I had sex outside on one of those huge trampolines (sounds fun right) well it was until about 10 minutes into it my back really started to burn and itch, my butt and crack too. I told my ex and he picked me up and saw that the trampaline material had burned my skin from all the rubbing and I had a huge rash all over my back and butt... But I'm a trooper and I still wanted to continue. I told him to lay down and I just did what I had to to do to make him ejaculate quickly on top of him. Once her did and it was over I got up and noticed a mosquito stuck between my leg on the side of my vagina lip and it had bit me!

So basically my back and butt was sore and raw and I had a mosquito bite on my va jj. It was so embarrassing when I needed to itch it in public.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

my ex and i had sex outside on one of those huge trampolines (sounds fun right) well it was until about 10 mins into it my back really started to burn and itch, my butt and crack too. I told my ex and he picked me up and saw that the trampaline material had burned my skin from all the rubbing and i had a huge rash all over my back and butt... But i'm a trooper and i still wanted to continue. I told him to lay down and i just did what i had to to do to make him ejaculate quickly on top of him. Once her did and it was over i got up and noticed a mosquito stuck between my leg on the side of my vagina lip and it had bit me!

So basically my back and butt was sore and raw and i had a mosquito bite on my va jj. It was so embarassing when i needed to itch it in public.

Lol too funny I don't know what I would have did!

I never had any sexual experiences. But however I do want my first one to be great. And yes size does matter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 9110024

I never had any sexual experiences. But however I do want my first one to be great. And yes size does matter.

And based on your experience - which is no experience at all - how did you come to this conclusion?

Quote:

Originally Posted by 9110024

I never had any sexual experiences. But however I do want my first one to be great. And yes size does matter.

The way You understand it, size matters, but believe me, it does Not. If you have a good partner, he will make sure You are happy, no matter What the size...once you have sex, and get a little experience, you will understand...Good Luck.

I think the worst experience for a person who has never had sex would be the time they were weeding the garden and pulling out poison ivy before going inside to masterbate themselves. Or confused the superglue for vasolene.

Getting it on in field and wild turkeys came up and tried to attack,getting up and having blood suckers on my behind :)
So much for making love in the great outdoors!

Poison ivy? There was a time when I was learning to cook Thai food and tried masturbation after seeding several peppers. That hurt for a few days. Should've worn gloves.

Did it in my boyfriend's huge backyard and then found out he had cameras and his whole family was watching the whole thing. I was 17 and he was 19 so we were still young. It was late at night and everyone was supposed to be sleeping at 2am don't you think? Apperantly his family wanted to get some entertainment!!

I was with a guy once and he was kissing me all over my neck - which normally I LOVE but he was a little sloppy with it.

He had slobbered all in my hair and everywhere. My hair was wet with saliva for pete's sake! :mad:

I just got up in the middle of things... and slowly walked into the bathroom. He looked puzzled. :confused: I got into the shower and washed my hair. I came out of the bathroom, dressed and just stared at him until he got the point and left.

K this is both gross and mortifying.

One time my husband and I were getting intimate and I really needed to go poop. I couldn't hold it in any longer and it accidentally came out [a little tidbit], he didn't notice, but I knew. In the midst of trying to cover it up, I threw a sock over it and accidentally got my hand on it and patiently waited for my husband to "finish".

A mortified,
MRS.S

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

K this is both gross and mortifying.

One time my husband and I were getting intimate and I really needed to go poop. I couldn't hold it in any longer and it accidently came out [a little tidbit], he didn't notice, but I knew. In the midst of trying to cover it up, I threw a sock over it and accidently got my hand on it and patiently waited for my husband to "finish".

A mortified,
MRS.S

:eek:
You are freakin' killin' me today MUD!! :D

Mud, that happen to me once. It was my second time ever having sex. I think I was coming but I wasn't. That was the nastiest thing ever. I never ate again and swore out of sex for a while.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

Mud, that happen to me once. It was my second time ever having sex. I think I was comming but I wasn't. That was the nastiest thing ever. I never ate again and swore out of sex for a while.

Haha- did he know?

My husband ended up finding the sock and was like "what the ___ is this?" with this look that I wish I could explain- it was a mix of confusion and disgust. I turned fire red. He still won't let it down, sometimes he'll say "don't pooh on me".

MRS.S

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whatever24

Did it in my boyfriend's huge backyard and then found out he had cameras and his whole family was watching the whole thing. I was 17 and he was 19 so we were still young. It was late at night and everyone was supposed to be sleeping at 2am dont you think? Apperantly his family wanted to get some entertainment!!!

Yes parents and the grandma too, mind as well call the aunts and uncles and cousin's and everyone else! It was just like when we walked in everyone was in the living room sitting down drinking tea and they're just like PFFFFFFFFFT... :D I'm like :confused: then I found out the next day and didn't dare to step into that house again!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

haha- did he know?

My husband ended up finding the sock and was like "what the ___ is this?" with this look that I wish I could explain- it was a mix of confusion and disgust. I turned fire red. He still won't let it down, sometimes he'll say "don't pooh on me".

MRS.S

Yes he knew because it got on him because when it happen I was on top. The next you know when was like what is so sticky? The mystery wasn't hard to figure out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whatever24

Yes parents and the grandma too, mind as well call the aunts and uncles and cousin's and everyone else! it was just like when we walked in everyone was in the living room sitting down drinking tea and they're just like PFFFFFFFFFT....:D im like :confused: then i found out the next day and didnt dare to step into that house again!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a bunch of sick puppies,you poor thing.
I'm laughing but how mortifying is that? :eek:

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

I think the worst experience for a person who has never had sex would be the time they were weeding the garden and pulling out poison ivy before going inside to masterbate themselves. Or confused the superglue for vasolene.

Absolutely no joke - my neighbor was mowing his lawn and cleaning up his yard last Spring, was "itchy," scratched himself and ended up with poison oak all over his but and genitals.

Me and my girl friend were playing around trying to be quiet but I had a really squeaky bed.. and my mom walked in on us... silly of me to think she wouldn't hear when her bedroom was right next door... *worst part was we were in the lovely pile driver position *haha

I recall me and my daughter father trying to add spice to our sex life. We were going go all out that night.

He had a waterbed at the time. We wanted to tried the hot wax thing and once the hot wax hit me I let out the painful scream because it burn and he didn't just pour one drop it was a few.

Somehow in the mist of me screaming I moved and ended out getting myself wedge between the frame of the bed. He tried to pull me out but couldn't.

I got scared and starting screaming at him louder and louder. His next neighbor hear and called the cops.

Before they came he had to get his cousin to help because he is stronger and only lived downstairs. The only downside he had to see me nasked. Then the cops came and we had to explain what happen and one of the cops give him the hot wax 101 talk.

However, we did that again and I never tried that with anyone again.

Ooh gee Liz seems like you have one bad experience after the other.

That last one made me chuckle.

MRS.S

Quote:

Originally Posted by nikosmom

I was with a guy once and he was kissing me all over my neck - which normally I LOVE but he was a little sloppy with it.

He had slobbered all in my hair and everywhere. My hair was wet with saliva for pete's sake! :mad:

I just got up in the middle of things... and slowly walked into the bathroom. He looked puzzled. :confused: I got into the shower and washed my hair. I came outta the bathroom, dressed and just stared at him until he got the point and left.

Make sure he was not a dog!! :D

Mudweizer, my experience was similar to yours.

I had met up with a new guy after I had worked a 12 hour shift. I had partied the night before that, and I was totall exhausted.

So, we are standing in my hallway and things are getting hot and heavy, and we turn to go into the bedroom, and I pass out!!

I started coming to with him slapping my face, and he was slapping rather hard. As soon as I sat up, I realized why.

I had let go the biggest fart I've ever had... there was a green cloud over everything. I then pretended to pass out again until the smell disapated, but I don't think he was fooled. By the time I came to again, he had his coat on and was heading out the door.

Never saw him again...

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

What a bunch of sick puppies,you poor thing.
I'm laughing but how mortifying is that? :eek:

Quote:

Whatever24 agrees: I'm telling you the nice innocent ones are the bad ones. His mom winked at me and I'm like oh you guys are up? "they had just finished watching a movie"

They watched two movies,that is so funny,you poor kid but you must have wanted to laugh about it at some point in time? Hopefully it didn't traumatize you for life from ever wanting to have sex again:)

One day, few years back, I invited this guy over to my house that I was seeing.

When he came over I didn't think anything would happen sexually because I didn't dig him that way. We were just relaxing watching movies and he just pulled out his equipment. I don't think I've ever been more stunned in my life because of his lack of tact. Who just pulls out his thing for no reason out of no where?

When I refused to touch his... thing, after he repeatly requestf me too, instead of giving up he tried to act "understanding" and said the following to me "Ohhh, I know why you won't touch it you've never seen one before, have you?" " And if you did I bet you it wasn't big like this".

I'm not sure what sort of logic he had, but obviously, he couldn't get it into his head that a woman could refuse him. Well I don't know what breed of females he was used to. I guess he just whipped it out and they just jumped his bones on the spot. And he couldn't understand that his thing wasn't as cute/big as he thought. I think too many females gas his head.

Long stort short I kicked him out. Then he had the nerves to say on the way out "You just scare of me because my thing is too much too handle and your scared of d**k". I told him if you don't get out of my house in less than 5 seconds, I am going be too much for you to handled and your going be scared of me.

After he left I couldn't understand why some guys say "Your scared of sex or my thing is too big" all because you don't want to have sex with them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

They watched two movies,that is so funny,you poor kid but you must have wanted to laugh about it at some point in time? Hopefully it didn't traumatize you for life from ever wanting to have sex again:)

Hahaha I had a good laugh, once I told like my best friend which is my cousin, we had a goooood laugh! But ever since the day after I just lost all my feelings for my ex slowly but I did and then I'm just like "i really can't return to your house!" lol

No trauma but I was sure traumatized when he told me!! :rolleyes:

I wouldn't returned back to her house either. Your ex had a family of freaks. That's weird!

oh that's not just 'weird'. That's like weird x 5325435435454543543!! I mean c'mon people that is just perverted! Lol for that you go watch porn in your room not your son having sex with his girlfriend!

A couple years ago I was going down on my ex right after I ate and being in the position I was in I had indigestion. At risk of ruining the moment I figured what the hell and did something about it; I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude and started laughing hysterically. She instantly "lost it" and was understandably irritated. I did it again a few times after too, hahaha.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caroljj90

me and my girl friend were playing around trying to be quiet but i had a really squeaky bed..and my mom walked in on us...silly of me to think she wouldn't hear when her bedroom was right next door...*worst part was we were in the lovely pile driver position *haha

Are you sharing your account with someone? Are you male or female?

Good question because I thought Carol was a girl especially from her other thread.

I think someone is sharing an account.

No I am a girl I'm bisexual.. and no I'm not sharing my account with any one.