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-   -   Sex with an older man (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=319482)

  • Feb 19, 2009, 12:33 PM
    janice883
    Sex with an older man
    I am horny aver a 50 year old man, the more I see him the more I want to have sex with him. He is very handsome, not married and I am 18 and very horny. What should I do. I have talked to him and all he wants is to lick my . I am wondering if I should let him.. thanks Janice
  • Feb 19, 2009, 12:38 PM
    excon

    Hello janice:

    You're a grown woman - barely. So, if licking your parts is good enough, then go for it.

    excon
  • Feb 19, 2009, 12:44 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    I know what you were thinking excon, if she liked older men you were available.

    But yep, if sex for the sake of having sex with no real meaning other than pleaure is what you want, you are both grown ( well sort of anyway)
  • Feb 19, 2009, 02:21 PM
    chrissymarie

    You haven't seen his wrinkly saggy butt yet, that's why your horny. Leave that old man alone.
  • Feb 19, 2009, 02:37 PM
    artlady

    If you don't mind being used for sex.

    The question is why you would degrade yourself just for a few minutes of pleasure?
    If he is 50 and he is coming on to you at eighteen,he's creepy!
  • Feb 19, 2009, 06:03 PM
    jillrenee15
    I don't know, 50 isn't 80, and I've seen some pretty hot looking 50 year old men. She probably doesn't look 18 either. Anyway, sex is sex, you are both of age, use a condom, if that is the only thing that will fix your itch.
  • Feb 19, 2009, 07:23 PM
    bronzebabe

    at 18, you are going ga-ga over a 50 year old? yeah, right. stick to young men nearer your age. the 50 year old is WAY out of Your age group, and Probably married...
  • Feb 20, 2009, 07:15 AM
    smoothy
    I've known several young women that preffer an older man. You are both concenting adults... but there is a big generational diffeence between you two ( as in big difference in interests and mindsets) emotionally and intellectually. Forewarned is forearmed.
  • Feb 20, 2009, 07:48 AM
    Mymama
    50=dad. Gross
  • Feb 20, 2009, 08:53 AM
    chrissymarie
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jillrenee15 View Post
    I don't know, 50 isn't 80, and I've seen some pretty hot looking 50 year old men. She probably doesn't look 18 either. Anyway, sex is sex, you are both of age, use a condom, if that is the only thing that will fix your itch.

    Sex is sex... ughh everything is wrong about that statement. I'd give you a reddie but your answer to the OP is just YOUR OPINION.
  • Feb 22, 2009, 12:53 PM
    Alien2

    What if the older man is a virgin?
  • Feb 22, 2009, 01:02 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alien2 View Post
    What if the older man is a virgin?

    Ya right, a 50 year old virgin. Stop watching movies, they aren't real life! ;)

    At 18 you are just getting to know your body, your wants, your desires. I really want to say that this is a bad idea, because I can't see a 50 year old man wanting you for anything other than sex. Maturity wise you two don't mesh.

    But, having said that, you are legally an adult, so we can't stop you.

    If you want to scratch this itch that's up to you and him.

    Good luck.
  • Feb 22, 2009, 01:27 PM
    Alien2

    At what age do men automatically become sexually experienced without exception? I'm in my late 30's, did I miss the boat?
  • Feb 22, 2009, 03:07 PM
    smalltowngal

    A 50 year old man is so experienced in so many ways... not just with sex, but how to treat a woman, how to talk to a woman, what lines work and which ones don't... I bet you love the way he looks at you and talks to you and treats you. I bet it's a whole lot more romantic than the encounters you've had with the guys your own age.

    BUT while you are legally an adult, you are still a child in many ways. There are a lot of things in life that you haven't experienced yet. This man knows this and is completely taking advantage of the naivety of an 18 year old. (I don't in any way mean you're stupid--just inexperienced). A relationship seems very unlikely. He's not going to want to spend all of his time hanging out with a bunch of teenagers, and you're not going to want to spend yours with older people. You can't have much in common. Well, other than sex, I suppose.

    I guess I worry about what this sort of thing would do to yourself esteem once he's finished playing with you.
  • Feb 22, 2009, 03:26 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alien2 View Post
    At what age do men automatically become sexually experienced without exception? I'm in my late 30's, did I miss the boat?

    There is no "age". I have to say though, a 30 something virgin, although okay, isn't the norm. Chances are that a 50 year old man is no longer a virgin, I'd be willing to bet money on it. Heck, I could be wrong, but the odds are in my favor. ;)
  • Feb 22, 2009, 06:37 PM
    Alien2

    OK, sorry, I just have a "trigger point" mentally about "by X age you have to be A, B, and C. This is an issue to me because I have Autism (high functioning though), and I am very developmentally delayed. Therapists agree that basically I'm right around 18 myself emotionally/experiencewise, but because of my physical age, I'm a misfit of society. "Age appropriate" seems a riddle to me, because I can't identify with most others who are 30-something or older; wish I was in college again but then I'd be the "older creepy guy" so I feel I don't belong anywhere. Sorry for hijacking this thread.
  • Feb 22, 2009, 07:14 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    Sadly in my opinion but the majority of males have some sexual experience before they are out of high school, and most of the rest within the next few years.

    While some make it out to the mid 20's it is not the norm by any means.

    In today's society where girls as young as 12 and 13 are becoming more and more sexually active the term virgan is becoming more rare
  • Feb 22, 2009, 09:29 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alien2 View Post
    OK, sorry, I just have a "trigger point" mentally about "by X age you have to be A, B, and C. This is an issue to me because I have Autism (high functioning though), and I am very developmentally delayed. Therapists agree that basically I'm right around 18 myself emotionally/experiencewise, but because of my physical age, I'm a misfit of society. "Age appropriate" seems a riddle to me, because I can't identify with most others who are 30-something or older; wish I was in college again but then I'd be the "older creepy guy" so I feel I don't belong anywhere. Sorry for hijacking this thread.

    Alien, there's nothing wrong with being a virgin, and there's definitely nothing wrong with you.

    I'm glad you explained your situation to us, and I don't see anything wrong with you not having the experience that other guys your age have. Some people, even people without autism, are just late bloomers, or are waiting for someone special, I think that's great.

    I was young when I lost my virginity, I often regret that choice, but twenty-twenty hindsight is a b*tch. I wish I had waited, not necessarily for marriage, but at least for love.

    Don't be too hard on yourself, you have a unique situation, and you are a unique individual. You'll do just fine and you should be proud that you've come this far. :)
  • Feb 22, 2009, 09:39 PM
    neverme
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    In todays society where girls as young as 12 and 13 are becomming more and more sexually active the term virgin is becoming more rare


    This is not the norm either!
  • Feb 24, 2009, 06:12 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Alien2 View Post
    What if the older man is a virgin?

    A 50 year old virgin is going to have real issues... man or woman.
  • Feb 25, 2009, 04:06 AM
    Nualla
    You're both adults, if you both consent then there is no problem with it.

    As for the age issue, it's only as big a deal as it is in your own head. There are plenty of people attracted to older and younger partners, and many that enjoy very fulfilling relationships in age gap relationships. There are as many benefits to sleeping with a man in his 50s as with a man in his 20s. And there are as many dangers in sleeping with a man in his 20s as there are with a man in his 50s.

    HOWEVER - the fact that you couldn't answer this for yourself and had to ask a forum of strangers suggests that you don't know your own feelings. If I were you I would refrain for this reason. If you really want to, then you won't need to ask others if you should. Give yourself a little more time to learn about yourself and your heart. Just because you're 18 now doesn't mean you absolutely have to rush into sex with anyone at all if you don't truly feel comfortable.
  • Mar 10, 2009, 02:05 PM
    shyfoxie

    I'd suggest that you evaluate why you want to act on this fantasy. How would you feel afterward? If you don't feel so great about this, decline the offer. You'll find someone you're more comfortable with, in all likelihood, who'd be more than happy to get you off. If you feel you would enjoy the experience (and not "not care" or "not mind" I mean actually emotionally and physically benefit from), then you do whatever you think works.

    It's natural to have sexual feelings you aren't so comfortable with, or aren't sure about. Take a step back and evaluate things, as lust isn't known for improving decision-making skills.

    I've wanted several guys, some older (40 yrs max), but I generally realized I personally couldn't deal with the fact that it would really be an unequal thing---I would hate suspecting that it was some objectification of young women, or my (former) virginity etc etc as opposed to my individual merits.

    BTW, if he's saying that he's sooo experienced and better than the young guys, that's a bit manipulative and unfair to young guys who like to get a woman off.
  • Mar 10, 2009, 02:28 PM
    Justwantfair

    This thread is almost a month old, I think she has already decided whether she will be sleeping with him.
  • Mar 10, 2009, 02:45 PM
    Jlesnik33

    Nobody can stop what you want to do, or how you feel. But for the fact that he is 50, and your 18 just seems wrong. Though I think age doesn't matter, your at that age where sex is always on the mind. I wish you the best in anything you pick, and I won't judge as others should not either. But be careful, when a girl has sex sometimes it gets into our heads and could made things weird or upsetting stronger feelings, and so forth.
  • Mar 10, 2009, 03:22 PM
    shyfoxie
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Justwantfair View Post
    This thread is almost a month old, I think she has already decided whether she will be sleeping with him.

    Not necessarily, took me about a month to figure on a definite "no" once.
  • Mar 10, 2009, 04:55 PM
    Alty
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by shyfoxie View Post
    Not necessarily, took me about a month to figure on a definite "no" once.

    The point is, the OP hasn't come back since she started this thread, so it's time to let it go, move on and forget about this until the OP comes back to give us an update.

    There's no point in bumping a dead thread to the top of the list.

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