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I know this is probably too much info but I need help... anyway my husband really wants to have anal sex but we have tried it before and I made him stop because it hurt of course, but what I want to know is there anyway to ease into it without it hurting?:confused:
Using a lube, start with a finger, then a bigger finger then a bigger finger. Keep trying thefinger maybe for a week or two, until ou don't feel pain then have him use lube, and start with hiss head then a little more and a little more. Until you don't feel the pain. It's a long process but take it slow because he if do rush and you make him pull out to fast... you could end up really hurt.
I'm sorry if this was to graphic... I'm just trying to help.
Good luck.
You have to concentrate on relaxing your anal sphincter, your partner can use saliva to smooth the way.
I recommend that you don't engage in this practice... disease, hemmorhoids, and it is abusive if you don't really dig it.
There are always a lot of good available men waiting for you to choose one. You don't have to stay with a guy who won't listen to you. :)
Thanks, no you weren't to graphic hopefully this will work. Thanks againQuote:
Originally Posted by krzekali89
Condom and lots of lube, as to avoid any anal passage tearing, but I strongly recommend avoiding it if your not comfortable with it, it can be very painful and potentially dangerous.
My husband recently tried anal sex. While we have tried it before we really put a valiant effort forth this time. We used a lube and started with a finger and then two fingers. Then we tried his penis and it just would not go in no matter what position or how hard we tried. I know that my problem was that I was not relaxed and was not loose enough. Also, we used a warming sensation lube which was a bad idea. So, I would suggest you trying to first have a lot of foreplay. You must be warmed up and in the mood to be able to fully relax. If you are not relaxed it won't happen. Then, you must try a good lube... not a warming one as this will just make you more uncomfortable. Have your man gently ease in a finger. Then after that's worked in try two fingers. Then you might be able to start inserting the penis. It will be painful, it will be uncomfortable, it will be a long process. But, if it's something you desire then I say give it a try. It might feel good.
Hi, cece21!
Sure, you can try to ease into such a thing.
However, the bottom line to me would be that those places on the body aren't designed to be joined in that way. Even if you try to ease into it, it might not work.
If you're still uncomfortable even after trying a number of times, then I would like to assume that your husband will be understanding and loving in that regard as to your needs.
Thanks!
A dildo, lubed up and inserted slowly and gently into his anus will teach him exactly how to have anal sex with you.
If it hurt you moved too fast.
You have to be able to relax... try a finger then two then three, lubed of course with clipped and smooth finger nails... you know you are relaxed when you can stop clmping down on the fingers..
Next he has to go slow... if it hurts he is moving too fast or needs lube.
Once you can do that a litle at a time until he's fully in and you are in a comfortible position then you will be able to engoy it.
Keep in mind also you won't be able to do this if you are due to have a bowel movement... its best to time it 1 hour to 4 hours after one until you get to know yourself.
And actually simoneagie isn't too far off on that one... if he knows the actual mechanics as well you both can enjoy it better. When I first married my wife siad she would if I could teach her how to relax to do it... so I did exactly that... learned what it took, taught her and now she loves it... and actually comes asking for it at times.
I will also note that we are married... and monogamous so neither of us has any disease... and 17 years later no hemoroids either.
Maybe I am weird but I do love anal sex. It took sometime however and it is not for everyone. Everyone is giving you great advice. I would say lots and lots of lube, don't be ashamed of using a lot. Also you have to be turned on, it helps to relax. My first time I had split a bottle of wine with my lover and it got us in the mood:) Two ways for positioning in the beginning are laying down on your side and is laying down behind you. I feel as if this was the least painful way for penetration. Also you have to go SLOW. And breathe and make sure that despite the man being in "power" with anal sex, YOU are the one who says how fast, slow, deep etc. and your word is LAW. ANother way which helps me out is having the man behind me doggystyle and instead of him coming forawrd to me, I move back onto his penis. This way, I am able to control the speed and depth. You just have to watch out for how excited they can get and the natural response is to start pumping away.
I hope that this helps. If at anytime you realize it is not your thing stop. Sex is only good and fun when it is comfortable and not stepping past personal boundaries.
Might not be appropriate, but you can tell him the following joke.
A man broke into the bedroom of a couple and the man whispered something in the wife's ear. The husband says, "Do whatever he asks" so we don't get hurt. The wife says to the husband "He wants you".
Anal sex is fantastic... don't knock it. Anyone who does is missing out on one of the joys in life. And its fun for both parties... not just one.
Hey, I've done it. Just can't do it now. Experience it while you can.
There are certain products available at sex stores like special lubes and what not
Maximus - Lubricant - EdenFantasys
If you don't enjoy it though tell your husband and I'll bet he'll understand
Certainly try lots of lube. It takes time to learn how to relax enough but it's worth it. I've gotten to the point I actually ask for it.
I agree, the number one key is you must use a lot of lubrication.
I hope this isn't too graphic, but I have also heard that an anal plug can be used to prepare the anus for the act of penetration. Anal plugs are much smaller than an actual penis, but I was told that they do help relax the sphincter, and stretch the anus, which allows for easier penile penetration.
I was told to insert the anal plug before foreplay, let it stay in for a while, sometimes up to an hour before penetration. She says she relaxes on the bed during foreplay, all the while the anal plug is inserted, and then when they are ready for the act itself, he removes the plug and inserts the real thing.
Worth a try.
Anal sex is great every once in a while. Your partner has to be very respectful of your needs in the process.
My boyfriend liked doing it every once in a while and I stress that because I think if someone wants to do it all the time they think it feels better than vaginal sex.
He just liked the thrill of it because it is tabboo.
He did say he didn't like it better than vaginal sex, which made me feel better about doing it in the first place.
Hello:
I'm not sure what an anal plug is, but a finger works pretty good too. Frankly, it's even BETTER, because if he's into your anus, he's going to WANT his fingers and his tongue in there too.
If he's REALLY into it like that, you WILL be too. Promise!
excon
I couldn't agree more. If he's really into it AND really cares about you enough to help you ease into it you won't be able to help but like it.Quote:
Originally Posted by excon
Another thing to try is let him try penetration in the doggystyle position, this enables you to pull away and also gives you both (especially you) fairly easy access for cliteral stimulation. This will really help you get into it.
Above all, RELAX, don't think about the taboo parts and enjoy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by excon
Yeah, it sounds gross, but that was the first time I actually enjoyed anal sex.
My boyfriend prepped me by licking around the anus and tickling me with his lips. He didn't lick the actual anus.
He did that for a good five minutes and it went in like I never thought could be possible.
It helps to lay on your side. He can either be on his knees or lying behind you.Quote:
Originally Posted by jlh76
Ex:Quote:
Originally Posted by excon
Try this site. There is a picture.
En.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_plug
Butt plugs (or anal plugs) are sex toys designed to be inserted in the anus and rectum for sexual pleasure. In some ways, they are similar to a dildo, but they tend to be shorter, and to have a flared end to prevent the device from being lost inside the rectum. Many dildos lack a flared end, and thus it is ill-advised to use such dildos anally, since they may get stuck, requiring medical extraction.
People of all genders and sexual orientations may use butt plugs.
Exactly my view
Try it fresh from a shower or bath... then its safe, clean and fun.Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngalps
What I ussually do is I start to have sex and when I'm really wet his penis is wet so we start slowley with the head of the penis until it doesn't hurt (I don't use lube, some hurt like KY yours and mine it burns do not use it) probley use like a water based lubracant if that.
We just go from sex to anal sex to anal moving in little at a time of course even when you think you're ready to go in all the way add more
You are not supposed to have anal sex and then put it in the vagina without washing the penis first.Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel005
This can cause a serious infection.
I'll second that, use a fresh condom when doing this or visit the bathroom and wash up well first if you aren't. Why subject yourself to a vaginal infection when simple precaustions will avoid it.Quote:
Originally Posted by southerngalps
You can move from the vagina directly to the rectum without trouble. (as I believe she had said she did)... but do not move non-stop from the rectum to the vagina.
Tell him you'll start having more anal sex when he lets you regularly start sticking a 20 oz. bottle up his rectum... deal? Seriously... not all are made for anal sex and it is very bad for your rectum also. Fissures and hemmroids are something to consider..
Ummm exaggerating quite a lot aren't you?. I'm a guy in his 40's and not once have I ever seen a schlong in the locker room that was anywhere near the size of a 20 oz bottle.Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyAlexander
And 17 years into a marriage my petite wife as not once suffered from any of those. And I am no Pee Wee Herman.
It sounds like this is very much your husbands idea. If you are not really interested then it will more than likely be painful. Only do what you are comfortable with.
I haven't read anything from the OP that states she is not in to trying it. In fact she states that they have tried, but failed. No where did she say I don't want to do this, it's his idea, so I need help to figure it out.
Listen hun, there are several ways to ease in to it, and maybe this experience won't be what you were thinking it would be. Maybe it will suck and maybe you will find you like it.
I've seen good advice about cleaning out your system prior to anal sex, but it's good advice for him to wear a condom too.
As for making it work, there are many products out there made specifically to desensitize. I think one of them is actually called Anal-EZ? Don't know haven't tried it.
The only time I could make this work for me, was when I got sloppy drunk LOL
At least one hour after a Boel Movement to as namy as 3 or 4 you will find the carage empty and unclutered.
Look at it as a garage door that's not been opened for a long time and is a little stiff. Take it slow and it will open, once you get it open then the next time will be easier... You don't just go and kick down the door.
I used to be one of those "HELL NO' kind of girls and then I found someone that knew what they were doing. A lot of the home party plans or sex shops have Anal Eaze. It's a numbing cream that should be applied to the anal opening about 7-8 minutes before entry. Use lubrication and a real one - SPIT IS NOT LUBRICANT for anal sex!! Next go with some anal beads. They're usually made of silicone and have beads that start very small and end bigger. While he is having vaginal sex with you, he should start inserting the anal beads smallest to largest until it becomes uncomfortable. SLOWLY pulling it out - it's not a rip cord, you should do this a couple times until there is no pain. It can be rather enjoyable but it is definitely not something to rush into it. My guy knew what he was doing and wanted it to be just as enjoyable for me as it was for him.
Since you are willing to try it, use LOTS of lube and go slowly. If at any point you decide that this is definitely way more fun for your husband than it is for you, it's your right to say no. Also, ask him if it's o.k. if you "peg" him. If you're not a Dan Savage fan, that's the term for a woman strapping on a dildo and engaging in anal sex with her man that way. In fact, even if you're fine with being the "receiver" of anal sex, I think you should ask him anyway. Why shouldn't he enjoy what is supposed to be so enjoyable for you? :D
Hello Ren:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ren6
So, I suppose you go down on chicks (if you're a chick), because you want to experience what HE does... Or the other way around if you're a guy... But, you get what I mean..
Of course, the truth is, he's NOT supposed to experience the same thing his girlfriend does. That's what makes is DIFFERENT...
I don't know why you can't get that. Maybe it's cause you enjoy experiencing the SAME stuff your partner does... MOST ordinary people don't do that...
excon
Actually, Ex-Con, I do go down on chicks, but that's beside the point.
I know what it's like to be in the OP's place and I heard all the reasoning- "If you do it right, it doesn't hurt", if you go slow, it's great"... Some minor but painful damage later, it turned out not to be my cup of tea. Some people love it- heck, the O.P. may end up enjoying it immensely... but, if she doesn't like it, even just a little bit, she should be given a pass on this one.
As for her partner not being expected to experience what she does, well, why the heck not? Why should he not experience this amazing feeling? My point is that he should be absolutely willing to do this, especially if his partner develops a yearning to strap it on and have at him, right? If she goes slow and uses lots of lube, it should be pleasurable for him. Just saying. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, as my dear old gramps used to say.
Hello again, R:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ren6
I don't like oysters. I've never tried them. I actually DON'T have to try them to know that I don't want to. Now, there are some people out there who think they're "amazing". My point is that, just because some people think they're amazing doesn't mean that I should try them. It just doesn't.
Now, I know you UNDERSTAND that logic. But, somehow, not when it comes to sex. I don't know why. I think you've got some underlying issues that you're not copping to.
excon
Actually, Ex---I'm kind of with her on this one.
Anal sex CAN be extremely pleasurable for her---but most of the time it's NOT.
And I've always told any guy that INSISTED on it, any guy that HAD to have it on HIS terms and not when *I* initiated it that I'd be happy to let him RECEIVE anal sex.
So it's not that I would enjoy that the same WAY that he'd enjoy pitching, but dammit, if he's going to be PUSHY about it, I'll give him something to push back against.
Frankly, I blame most women who are against anal sex on men that are too pushy about anal sex--and men that have NO technique at it other than just insert-push-pull.
The funny thing here is that to me, your response indicates that you have issues that you're not copping to, Ex-Con.Quote:
Originally Posted by excon
Your lobster analogy doesn't do much for your case.
Imagine the poster's husband does not like oysters. Like you, he knows he doesn't want oysters ANYWHERE in his body. However, he really, really wants his wife to enjoy oysters because he heard how amazing they can be and he really gets excited by his wife trying "oysters". Wife tries oysters and she isn't thrilled by them, either. Imagine that OP's hubby insist she try oysters with lemon, or in a bisque- but she still doesn't like them. Is the fact that she doesn't like oysters in her head? Or should her husband acknowledge that like him, she is just not that into "oysters"?
If there was damage, someone wasn't doing it right. Your average poop is no smaller than your average guy is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ren6
But both parties do have to be willing and open to even try. Otherwise the reaction is to clamp down rather than relax. And you can't enjoy it unless you relax. And no you can NEVER force it. The first time or two is going to be uncomfortable. I doubt you liked that first cup of coffee you ever tried. Or that first drink of Booze.
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