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-   -   Is my husband gay? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=101550)

  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:03 PM
    honeybean
    Is my husband gay?
    My husband prefers me to masturbate him (Jack him off), instead of vaginal penetration; is he gay?
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:05 PM
    Squiffy
    My partner like that too. I think it a bit of laziness on his side to be honest! Some men just prefer the feel of a woman's hand, as some prefer the mouth etc. I wouldn't immediately assume he is gay. Why not try asking him?
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:07 PM
    Wondergirl
    Why would that make him gay?

    Maybe you have an especially good technique for masturbating him. Maybe he had a bad experience with vaginal intercourse. Talk with him about this. Don't get mad or accusing.
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:07 PM
    margarita_momma
    Honestly I would need a little more information about him to make a perception. Does he have any other quirks that make you wonder if he is gay. Some guys just like jerking off and prefer it to actual sex. I had a boyfriend once that enjoyed me watching him jerk off almost as much as having sex. He said it excited him having someone watch him.
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:22 PM
    honeybean
    I have asked him several times. He goes crazy, yelling and screaming, I'M NOT GAY.
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:27 PM
    J_9
    Then he probably isn't some men just prefer this.
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:27 PM
    honeybean
    Prior to us getting married 3 years ago, his roommate was his gay cousin, he lived with this man for 12 years.
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:32 PM
    Wondergirl
    He married you, didn't he? Being gay doesn't rub off onto someone else like peanut butter. Either you are gay or you are not. My lesbian sil and her partner adopted a baby boy who is now a very straight teenager.
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:34 PM
    honeybean
    You are right, thanks for the support!
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:37 PM
    Wondergirl
    Men are very visual creatures. You must give him some very exciting pictures to carry around in his head!
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:38 PM
    LadyB
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by honeybean
    My husband prefers me to masturbate him (Jack him off), instead of vaginal penetration; is he gay?

    Um, how does preferring masturbation equal "gay"?
  • Jun 15, 2007, 02:45 PM
    bushg
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by honeybean
    I have asked him several times. He goes crazy, yelling and screaming, I'M NOT GAY.

    Well if he has this reaction... I would wonder what the hell is wrong with him.. also does he like ana? If he did I would really wonder hmmm
  • Jun 15, 2007, 03:11 PM
    honeybean
    He never asks for anal, however if I initiate anal he does it. He never initiates anal or oral he just wants to be jerked off.
  • Jun 15, 2007, 03:13 PM
    LadyB
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bushg
    well if he has this reaction...I would wonder what the hell is wrong with him..also does he like ana? If he did I would really wonder hmmm


    Well how you would feel if your spouse frequently asked you if you were gay? You might go crazy eventually too.
  • Jun 15, 2007, 03:31 PM
    bushg
    She did not say she asked him all of the time... if my husband badgered me over it I would get ps'd but if it was a 1 time ? Then no big deal :)
  • Jun 15, 2007, 04:05 PM
    LadyB
    Her exact quote was "I have asked him several times."
  • Jun 15, 2007, 04:24 PM
    bushg
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by honeybean
    My husband prefers me to masturbate him (Jack him off), instead of vaginal penetration; is he gay?

    Lady be this is all I see, it is what I was going by edit I just went back and looked.. ur right I'm working and posting at the same time maybe I should stick to working...
  • Jun 18, 2007, 06:22 AM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by honeybean
    He never asks for anal, however if I initiate anal he does it. He never initiates anal or oral he just wants to be jerked off.

    Seems odd. But then maybe he has some other issues. But no I don't think he's gay. Maybe a therapist can find out what's at play here.
  • Jun 20, 2007, 06:45 AM
    stevie123
    He may or may not be gay but just because he prefers to help himself than to be helped doesn't mean he is gay!
    He may get more pleasure from masturbation than from Vaginal intercourse with you - for many reasons - it may also be laziness on his part :)
    If you would like to - you could go to see a sex therapist to find new and exciting ways of having sex therefore making him receive more pleasure and make him want to penetrate you more often
  • Jun 20, 2007, 07:01 AM
    dolly08
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by honeybean
    My husband prefers me to masturbate him (Jack him off), instead of vaginal penetration; is he gay?

    :confused: most likely he is or he has something and doesn't want you to catch what he has
  • Jun 20, 2007, 09:38 AM
    smoothy
    I know hand jobs are my least favorite activity. And it doesn't matter if its me or her doing it. But maybe its his thing.
  • Jun 20, 2007, 11:07 AM
    margarita_momma
    Just a thought honeybean: Would your husband have any time to be having an affair? Don't freak out for me asking that because it is just a question to better understand things. Sometimes when men are having affairs and find love with another woman, they tend to distance themselves sexually with their wives because they don't think of it as cheating on their girlfriend. My mom just went through this with her ex-boyfriend and it just popped in my head that a lot of the signs are the same.
  • Jun 20, 2007, 02:03 PM
    Kattalover
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by honeybean
    I have asked him several times. He goes crazy, yelling and screaming, I'M NOT GAY.

    Did you ask him why he likes handjobs so much or did you ask him if he's gay (or both in the same breath)? If the latter, I could understand why he's getting upset.
  • Jun 20, 2007, 05:28 PM
    nya
    Hi,

    I feel you should go with your gut instincts. You know him and you live with him. If your woman's intuition tells you that this guy is gay, then I feel you're probably right.
  • Jun 21, 2007, 05:47 AM
    honeybean
    He can make time in in his schedule to have an affair. However since the first time I masturbated him, he seems to want that more than penetration, he will penetrate me if I motion him to do so, and he gives great oral sex. I've never met a man who prefers a hand job, vs penetration,
  • Jun 21, 2007, 05:49 AM
    honeybean
    I did ask him why he prefers hand jobs, he said that while he was single, over 10 years before he met me, he did not have sex, he just jacked himself off. He seems addicted to jacking off.

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