Ask Me Help Desk - What counts as losing your virginity?

What counts as losing your virginity?

Hi yea just wondering what actully counts as losing your virginity to most people?I mean I've had sex 6 times without orgasm and to me I still feel like a virgin especially when I get asked by mates and peole what's it like to have sex and all I can do is lie.ive never had sex last more then 10 min and its rather imbarrasing to know that being a guy I can't get my rocks off.masterbation is now becoming a turnoff because its like 3 min and then its over.I just wish id be able to say to people that I'm not a virgin honestly and feel proud to say it instead of lying.

Penis into the virgina- after that, u isn't a virgin anymore sorry :(

I think it depends. I was in a situation where I wasn't ready to have sex, basically I was forced into it, and that was how I lost my virginity.. technically. Because this had a big effect on my life and it still does, I felt like no guy would want me because I wasn't a virgin anymore. But I was told that unless you gave yourself willingly to your partner, your virginity isn't completely lost. Its like a second chance, you wait until you're ready to share it with someone you love. It prob sounds stupid, but I think its credible. This prob isn't the case for you, which I'm glad. But if you want to start over again, I don't see anything wrong with that. When your with someone who's given you pleasure on the more personal type of level, then I think you can say you're not a virgin. Just don't have sex w like, 20 people and say your still a virgin, haha

So you're a guy and you can't come but sex doesn't last longer than 10 minutes? I don't get it? You keep going until you do come.

What your "virginity" is a very personal thing- some people consider having oral sex losing your virginity and others say you need to have penis is vagina. My answer, thus, is: You're not a virgin when you decide you no longer are a virgin.

I believe losing your virginity is when a penis goes into any opening in a body willing. With that said, if you are raped or someone has sex with you when you are not wanting to, you are still a virgin. If both parties agree to the action, it doesn't matter where the penis is inserted (mouth, anus, vagina), you just lost your virginity.

Does virginity counts for guys?don't think so.

Guys can be virgins as well...

Most guys don't care that much if you are a virgin or not. Most of the guys who car this deeply are of the type that expect a Dowry for taking you off your parents hands. Basically the type that think arranged marriages are all right. Personally I don't think others should be telling you who you will marry or when. Or demanding a Dowry to marry you. These are the same types that think it's fine to burn wives alive if the dowry isn't paid or they do something else they don't like.

Marrying a virgin can be nice, but its not something to stress over particularly if you are already in your late 20's or older. Up to and including my wife virginity isn't something I cared a great deal about when I dated. Her personality and behavior meant far more than if she was a virgin or not.

Losing you virginity consists of having sex - putting the penis into the vagina - it still counts whether or not it was pleasurable or pleasing - the first or second time are normally more painful that pleasurable but after that it should get better.
Are you saying you feel you don't last long enough ? And that you to soon ?
If that is the case you can go to a sex therapist with our partner to find out the cause or the quick ejaculation and therefore make sex more pleasurable for both parties
Hope that helped
X

I don't really get it either.. I had sex four years ago but I was raped so I kind of considered myself still a virgin.. two nights ago I had sex willingly for the first time but I didn't feel anything, I felt like nothing was going on. I feel like I didn't even have sex, I get exactly what you're saying Unwanted.

Virginity is a term used to describe the state of never having engaged in sexual intercourse. A person who still has his or her virginity can accordingly be described as being a virgin. In broader usage of these terms, they can characterize a state of purity. ( lol I saw this on the internet. Though I put it to some good use)

Intercourse. Penis enters vagina. Your not a virgin anymore. Nice try though people.

Joe

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Intercourse. Penis enters vagina. Your not a virgin anymore. Nice try though people.

Joe

Wow that's cold. :(

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Originally Posted by greenopal56

wow thats cold. :(

Facts are facts...

The most important thing to know about virginity is that it doesn't matter. It doesn't change a thing. Lots of people are very hung up on it, but it really doesn't mean a thing.

I have to agree with jesusHelper here. I'm really appalled at the misinformation and equivocations posted in this thread. Virginity, in terms of sexual activity, refers to never having sexual intercourse, which is defined as insertion of a penis into a vagina.

This is incontrovertible, it is fact. If you are female and were penetrated or a male who penetrated, you are no longer a virgin plain and simple and that's that.

However, losing one's virginity does NOT make someone a bad person, promiscuous or the like. It simply means a biological event occurred. The circumstances of that biological event, the frequency that it occurs, the circumstances surrounding in occurring need all be considered in judging the person. Sure, if you were raped, you don't want to think that you lost your virginity, but the fact is that you did. What you didn't lose was your morality.

OK, I don't think I explained properly and appropiately what I meant. The impression is that I am trying to deny that my virginity was taken away from me. This is not true. I never denied it ever being gone, because like you said once penetrated it done. What I meant is that you have a second level of virginity, (its not on a physical level, but an emotional one). This level of virginity is not an excuse to tell different partners that you've never done it before. This is on an emotional level for the person to say to themselves, "I lost it in body, but at least i still have it in spirit". This was probably the wrong forum to pass this advice onto, but at least hopefully I've explained my opinion (again, my oppinion) in a more proper fashion. I apologize if you felt "appauled", but you would only understand if you experienced it yourself.

PS Hope this gave you a better answer.

Quote:

Originally Posted by UnwantedHero

hi yea just wondering what actully counts as losing your virginity to most people?i mean ive had sex 6 times without orgasm and to me i still feel like a virgin especially when i get asked by mates and peole whats it like to have sex and all i can do is lie.ive never had sex last more then 10 min and its rather imbarrasing to know that being a guy i can't get my rocks off.masterbation is now becoming a turnoff because its like 3 min and then its over.I just wish id be able to say to people that im not a virgin honestly and feel proud to say it instead of lying.

I have never even had penetration yet, so I believe actual sex counts.

A penis penetrating a vagina is what constitues losing your virginity. So no, you're not a virgin.

Orgasms have nothing to do with virginity and is a whole nother subject matter.

For some reason teenagers seem to think that if they don't orgasm or if sex does blow the top of their head off that its not really sex. I don't get that.

As others have said if a penis enters a vagina that is sex. Even if it was one time for one second. Virginity is gone.

Granted as JesusHelper said if it is forcibly taken from you I believe wholeheartedly you may take back your virginity in order to give it willingly to someone you love.

You may want to add that contrary to what some people seem to think... Blowjobs ARE sex as well.

I have to disagree.

Blowjobs are a sex ACT. They are NOT sex, and giving someone a blowjob in no way could cause you to lose your virginity.

If blowjobs are sex, then what's next? Kissing being sex?

I have to spread the love Synn, oral sex is strictly a sex act!!

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Capuchin agrees: Don't type to me on this forum. That's Sex. Non-consensual sex too. You pervert.

Wow, Cap. I do hope you are joking here. A blowjob is a sexual act. Intercourse is sex.

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sex (sks)
n.
1.
a. The property or quality by which organisms are classified as female or male on the basis of their reproductive organs and functions.
b. Either of the two divisions, designated female and male, of this classification.
2. Females or males considered as a group.
3. The condition or character of being female or male; the physiological, functional, and psychological differences that distinguish the female and the male. See Usage Note at gender.
4. The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.
5. Sexual intercourse.
6. The genitals.

Blowjob

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Giving head, a blow job, fellatio, call it what you like, but there are many wonderful benefits to performing this delicious sex act.

I don't think anyone means that oral sex means you are no longer a virgin. I happen to hold that oral sex is as serious as "regular" sex and as so regard it with the same terminology. What I was referring to in my support is that teenagers today treat oral sex like kissing. They act like its nothing and that to me is sad.

Blowjobs are still sex just as much ans anal sex is. The only difference is which hole you stick the penis.

Besides if for example your wife or girlfriend was out giving blowjobs to others would you say well, it's not sex so its OK.

How teenagers can rationalize it as not having sex is beyond me.

The phrase "having sex" covers a wide gamut. In my opinion any action that involves touching sexual organs is "having sex". But only penetration of the penis into vagina is sexual intercourse. And Sexual intercourse is the only way to lose virginity.

No I would not like my husband performing sex ACTS on other women, nor would I like him to be having actual real sexual relations with other women.

The question here was what constitutes losing your virginity. The answer to that question is very plain and simple

penis->vagina = loss of virginity.

I'd still have a hard time considering a woman that gave blowjobs to 100 men but never had intercourse a virgin as an example.

LOL, I do understand your point, however, she may not be pure in that sense of the word, but if she had never had penile/vaginal penetration she is still a virgin.

I think, personally, that too much stress is placed on the word "virgin"

As long as you're not endangering your life, or that or another person, and all parties are willing... who cares what you do? (and getting pregnant is "endangering a life" before people get up in arms about that).

I have a hard time with the fact that people CARE what someone's sexual experiences are, beyond determining whether it may endanger your own life. In that, I mean asking about protection, safety precautions taken in the past, and determining that your prospective partner is disease free.

Me, personally have never went after nor turned away from a woman based on if she was a virgin or not. Her personality is what mattered to me at that point. If I thought she was unattractive I wouldn't have gone so far as ask her out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by UnwantedHero

hi yea just wondering what actully counts as losing your virginity to most people?i mean ive had sex 6 times without orgasm and to me i still feel like a virgin especially when i get asked by mates and peole whats it like to have sex and all i can do is lie.ive never had sex last more then 10 min and its rather imbarrasing to know that being a guy i can't get my rocks off.masterbation is now becoming a turnoff because its like 3 min and then its over.I just wish id be able to say to people that im not a virgin honestly and feel proud to say it instead of lying.

Back to the OP.

You have had sex 6 times, penetration. You are NOT a virgin, so be proud (if that's what you want) to say it!!

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Originally Posted by smoothy

I'd still have a hard time considering a woman that gave blowjobs to 100 men but never had intercourse a virgin as an example.

Doesn't matter what you would have a hard time doing. A fact is a fact. Such a woman IS a virgin, there is no question about it. She may be promiscuous, a slut, a whore or any one of a number of derogatory names, but she would still be a virgin.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

Doesn't matter what you would have a hard time doing. A fact is a fact. Such a woman IS a virgin, there is no question about it. She may be promiscuous, a slut, a whore or any one of a number of derogatory names, but she would still be a virgin.

Well I don't think a woman who has performed sex acts with a donkey, a 100 man gang bang or whatever is a virgin any more even if everyone avoided the vagina. Sex is sex. Have sex and you aren't a virgin.

A virgin has not had sex with another individual... period. Anything else is just parsing words.

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Originally Posted by smoothy

Well I don't think a woman who has performed sex acts with a donkey, a 100 man gang bang or whatever is a virgin any more even if everyone avoided the vagina. Sex is sex. Have sex and you aren't a virgin.

A virgin has not had sex with another individual...period. Anything else is just parsing words.

Again, you can feel any way you want to. But the fact is that any sex is not sexual intecourse. You have to understand that we are talking facts here. If you want to think that when you drop something it won't fall, then do so. But if you try to tell that to someone else, you would be told you are wrong. That's the case here. Only one thing counts as losing virginity.

Its just parsing words. Basically your argument is if there was no vaginal penetration then sex didn't happen. Try that argument with a divorce court judge and you will lose.

His argument is that if no vaginal penetration, then no sex happened. That's CORRECT. Sex as a general rule refers to sexual intercourse.

That's not to say that no sex ACTS happened. However, a sex ACT isn't the same as sexual INTERCOURSE.

Virginity is lost during sexual intercourse, not sooner. If that's just parsing words, then fine... but a kiss is a sex ACT too--are you going to count someone's first KISS as losing their virginity? If that's the case, then Chris M. stole mine in the coat room in 2nd grade!

If you have sex then you aren't a virgin.

A kiss isn't sex... depending on what you are kissing.

I'm sorry but the Anal queen of NYC isn't a virgin even if she's never had vaginal sex, and the same if her preference was oral sex.

You can dance around that point all you want. But if she had sex she is hardly pure or a virgin. Like I said, its just parsing words by trying to have your cake and eat it too.

Would you consider a guy who has performed innumerable sex acts a virgin if he's never performed vaginal sex?