Ask Me Help Desk - I want to lose it already

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

When you ask someone for a favor and then don't need it, you say "thanks but no thanks".
That is all you need to say to this man. If he is decent he will say to himself "good, she wised up" If he is a creep, well good thing you wised up.
You've made no promises to him, you don't owe him anything. You don't even know him.

You are absolutely right Homegirl.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

When you ask someone for a favor and then don't need it, you say "thanks but no thanks".
That is all you need to say to this man. If he is decent he will say to himself "good, she wised up" If he is a creep, well good thing you wised up.
You've made no promises to him, you don't owe him anything. You don't even know him.

Homegirl, I like your advice. Simple and vague. I have to tell him something, so that works. I didn't really want to expain how I came to this decision. And I appreciate that you gave him the benefit of the doubt.

I think this issue is closed. Thanks for all the advice and harshness/support.

Can't agree more with what other people are saying.
I'm 18, nearly 19 and still a virgin. Up unti last week I hadn't even kissed anyone before! And still that is as far as I have gone.
I respect myself and am willing to wait until I am in a happy relationship with someone before I even think about going there.
There is no rush! Stop looking for it, be young and enjoy yourself and eventually it will happen!

We all wish you well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

We all wish you well.

Yes we do.

Seriously, I wish I could turn back time and be a 19 year old virgin as you are...

I lost my virginity at 18 with someone I didn't even know, for similar reasons as you have. Because I felt that I was one of the last of my friends to be a virgin and I just wanted to do it to know what it was like and see what the big deal was, and not be different than my friends etc.

I know you're probably tired of hearing things like, If I could go back and do it again I'd do things differently etc. etc. because when you're 19 you have no idea how you're going to feel in your 30s/40s.

I'll just be honest with you here. Losing your virginity isn't just about having sex for the first time. Your virginity is a GIFT that you can give away only once. Please don't make the same mistake I did by not respecting or loving yourself enough to wait for someone to come along who is worthy of that gift.

I don't have many regrets in my life but this is certainly one of them and believe me, there is nothing wrong with being different than your friends by waiting. There's no rush and there's no big race in losing one's virginity. A time that's right for one isn't right for another.

Let your friends and family say what they will, let them make jokes. They've already given away their gifts. There's no shame in holding onto yours. You won't lose anything by waiting, you'll only lose by giving away something so special before you're ready to do so.

What is your most prized possession that you have right now? What's one thing that you own that you can't imagine giving away to just anyone?

Your body should be thought of as your most special gift as well.

I really hope you'll think about this because I relate so much to how you're feeling right now because I was in your shoes once and I wish I could go back and save myself for someone who loved me, and who I loved back.

If you really want to know what sex is like you can always get a toy; That way you can have some physical experience (on one level) but still save yourself for someone you love and who loves you in return.

I finally told him on the 22nd, and he answered me on the 26th. He was completely fine with it, encouraging even, and said he'd be around and to keep in touch. Thanks again, all.

Good girl.
That wasn't so bad now was it?
How are you doing?

Good for you! Good Luck

Slow down, maybe you should explore yourself and learn your own body, you will be way ahead of the curve if you can learn to know your own body. A lot of women have sex for all the wrong reasons, to feel needed, peer pressure, low self esteem, they think they are missing out on something, these all seem like the wrong reasons to have sex. Learn to get yourself off and it will release indorphans in your brain that will make you feel better. You turned down guys who asked you out? Why no feelings for them? Boy hope the rejection didn't mess up the guys. You maybe should reconsider the guys that were interested in you, or you ask out a guy that you are interested in. Forget the guy on the internet, you could talk to him for years and still be fooled, any self respecting 38 year old, probably over 40 wouldn't get involved with a 19 year old wanting to lose it. Just spend some time with some guys that are interested in you, this will boost self esteem and your confidence. I was 21 when I lost mine, so I know how your feeling, like your missing out on something great that everyone is doing. Trust me people who brag about sex are usually doing more talking than doing. I know this is all easy for us out here to say, but the simple fact that you are asking should give you the right answer. Yea carry mace and learn how to use it. Seek inter contentment

Quote:

Originally Posted by kryostar

Slow down, maybe you should explore yourself and learn your own body, you will be way ahead of the curve if you can learn to know your own body. alot of women have sex for all the wrong reasons, to feel needed, peer pressure, low self esteem, they think they are missing out on something, these all seem like the wrong reasons to have sex. learn to get yourself off and it will release indorphans in your brain that will make you feel better. You turned down guys who asked you out? Why no feelings for them? boy hope the rejection didnt mess up the guys. You maybe should reconsider the guys that were interested in you, or you ask out a guy that you are interested in. Forget the guy on the internet, you could talk to him for years and still be fooled, any self respecting 38 year old, probably over 40 wouldnt get involved with a 19 year old wanting to lose it. just spend some time with some guys that are interested in you, this will boost self esteem and your confidence. I was 21 when I lost mine, so i know how your feeling, like your missing out on something great that everyone is doing. trust me people who brag about sex are usually doing more talking than doing. I know this is all easy for us out here to say, but the simple fact that you are asking should give you the right answer. yea carry mace and learn how to use it. seek inter contentment

Please read the ENTIRE thread before posting. She's already called it off with the guy on the internet.