Arghhhhhhhhhh ing hell... what the hell is wrong with me? Arghhhh someone who is very close to me just asked because they found out that I kissed some guy whether I was gay, and I lied and said no they were lying. I don't want to lie to my mate, this is making me feel bad about myself. And to be honest its getting messy, I am getting stressed about it all now. I can feel myself getting wound up and stressed about it all, this is my only output... someone has got to help me, someone please just give me an answer, I know I need to speak to a counselor but they aren't here, and I don't feel comfortable talking to someone yet. Argh this hurts so much, its getting so complicated...

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Originally Posted by ben090909

arghhhhhhhhhh ing hell..... what the hell is wrong with me? arghhhh someone who is very close to me just asked cos they found out that i kissed some guy whether i was gay, and i lied and said no they were lieing. i dont wanna lie to my mate, this is making me feel bad about myself. and to be honest its getting messy, i am getting stressed about it all now. i can feel myself getting wound up and stressed about it all, this is my only output.... someone has got to help me, someone please just give me an answer, i know i need to speak to a councellor but they arent here, and i dont feel comfortable talking to someone yet. argh this hurts soo much, its getting soo complicated....

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Ben, if some one asks, you don't have to give them an answer. You can say something along the lines of 'does it matter'. No matter what sex you are attracted to, you are you. You are the same person who has been his friend. You will always remain that person. You need to accept that as fact so those around you can learn to accept it.

thank you cat1854, that was very helpful. The more I say I don't know, or it doesn't matter, the more your accused, I have tried before, to prevent the accusations I then go and try and do a really staright thing like shag some random girl. But that isn't me, and I don't want to be not me anymore, I need to get out of here, I hate the constant feeling of god what if they know or what is someone going to find out about me next! I feel so trapped, I have tried taking a little pick me up, however its done the opposite and I feel ed, I just don't want to be here any more, I don't want to be me, this isn't me.

thank you cat1854, that was very helpful. The more I say I don't know, or it doesn't matter, the more your accused, I have tried before, to prevent the accusations I then go and try and do a really staright thing like shag some random girl. But that isn't me, and I don't want to be not me anymore, I need to get out of here, I hate the constant feeling of god what if they know or what is someone going to find out about me next! I feel so trapped, I have tried taking a little pick me up, however its done the opposite and I feel ed, I just don't want to be here any more, I don't want to be me, this isn't me.

I didn't mean to sound sarcastic in that reply to you cat1854, I am very grateful for you spending your time replying to me, it is much appreciated

I was just reading your post found it really interesting. Did you ever work this problem out ?