Itsamor---please be civil.

All of the strippers I knew were either desperate for money, or stripping to put themselves through school.

A "real" job doesn't pay up to $2k a week just for looking good--and if you think stripping is so easy, and not a "job", then why haven't YOU done it?

If you do not stop your slurs about strippers --which, by the way, have NOTHING to do with the original question--then I will delete ALL of your posts in this thread.

I hope that someday Christofanman can come back and give us more information or an update.

I'm in the same boat as your wife and I will tell you the two main reasons I cannot "get over it."

1. I was totally pissed when I found out because he hid it from me instead of being open about his whereabouts.

2. It made me feel inadequate. Especially since it happened while I was pregnant and just after having the baby when I still had the baby weight hanging off my frame.

I have not went back over the seven pages of answers, but stip clubs are not the houses of hookers and sex happening in back room. The better ones the customers can not even touch the girls, if they do they are kicked out.

Most of the ladies I know that work at strip clubs are just regular ladies, some have regular jobs during the day, like secretaries or clerks, a lot I know are college students that are helping to pay from college.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gemini54

This is not going to be a popular response either, but your wife is a princess.

This is not about you, about the strip club or about infidelity. This is about her and her creating an ongoing drama around something that she could have let go of ages ago.

Ask yourself - why won't she forgive you? Why does she keep bringing it up and making you feel guilty? Why does she behave as if you have betrayed her? Why would she still be holding on to this after a year??

Because she can. Because she is unwilling to let go of something that keeps you apologizing, pleading with her to forgive you, telling her how wonderful, beautiful (add whatever other adjective you wish), etc, etc, she is.

She's a princess and she needs to get over it. Stop with the apologizing. Stop with the everything around this issue. Next time she brings it up let her know you've talked about it enough, you've explained yourself and apologized and that as far as you're concerned the subject is closed.

Let her know that if she wishes to talk about it more, it will need to be with a counselor present, so she can look at why she can't let it go.

Princesses sometimes need a firm hand. Start setting the boundaries.

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First and foremost I want to say thank you and God bless you indeed for your service . I had to stop and reply to Gemini 54's post. Right on ! Again thank you and God bless .

Does your wife know that you are seeking advise online? That shows that you really care, and confussed on how to fix your mistake. Maybe you should show her you question and your answers, then she may have a change in heart. I understand how she feels, it is a horrible feeling. My husband did the same to me at Fort Benning GA. I guess I had to see for myself that he still found me attracted, and if he would have posted a question looking for help, I think that would have eased my worried mind. Good Luck

Chuck,
Since you didn't read previous posts, you may have missed that the FBI thinks otherwise. In these clubs, stripping is the loss leader for prostitution.

Feds say prostitution rampant at strip clubs
Local News | Feds say prostitution rampant at strip clubs | Seattle Times Newspaper

Quote:

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The clubs make their money by charging customers a $10 cover charge and $5 for soft drinks, and charging dancers $130 for each shift they work. The dancers make their "rent" back by performing private dances during which they frequently negotiate sex acts in exchange for money, according to investigators. Dancers arrested for prostitution at one club were often sent to work at another.

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The beauty of this system is that the club owner can claim that the very thing that keeps him in business is not something he knew about or condoned. Apparently, though, the FBI and IRS aren't buying it this time.

I honestly can not believe how many women do not trust their husbands enough to allow them to go to a strip club with their buddies.

Seriously--how can you possibly EVER trust him out of your sight, then?

Either you trust him, or you don't.

I can see the OP's wife being upset by the LIE, but not by the strip club itself.

If you can't trust your husband/boyfriend to go out with his friends, REGARDLESS where they go, then you need to get your butt into counseling for your trust and self-esteem issues.

PS--Have known dozens of strippers in my time, and not ONE of them EVER turned a trick.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ProjectX

I'm in the same boat as your wife and I will tell you the two main reasons why I cannot "get over it."

1. I was totally pissed when I found out because he hid it from me instead of being open about his whereabouts.

2. It made me feel inadequate. Especially since it happend while I was pregnant and just after having the baby when I still had the baby weight hanging off my frame.

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#1 Does he know everything you do, everywhere you go, everyone you talk to every day?

#2. That's a personal issue you should deal with yourself... not hold other people responsible for it.

People who "Can't get over it" are people with obsessions... that will destroy relationships over time. Notice I said people... not women... it applies to guys as well.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by asking

Chuck,
Since you didn't read previous posts, you may have missed that the FBI thinks otherwise. In these clubs, stripping is the loss leader for prostitution.

Feds say prostitution rampant at strip clubs
Local News | Feds say prostitution rampant at strip clubs | Seattle Times Newspaper



The beauty of this system is that the club owner can claim that the very thing that keeps him in business is not something he knew about or condoned. Apparently, though, the FBI and IRS aren't buying it this time.

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That might happen in some places... but not all. Anyplace can be a front for illegal activities of any type. And the smart criminals won't gravitate to the obvious ones that would call attention to themselves.

Most strip joints are practically a license to print money... cash business, stippers pay the management to be able to strip there with a percentage... management gets free waitresses when they are not dancing.

WHy would they screw THAT up running two bit hookers from the joint.

Its easier to run an Escort service.

Now any place that does that is a really seedy place anyway... and will attract only scaggs frew want to see dance. And yes I've know a couple strip club owners. THey aggressively bounce people that violate the no touching rules... or anyone that appears to be committing any illegal activity on their property.

Around here you will see less illegal activity at strip clubs that you will see in City Hall. They have too much to lose.

This issue has nothing to do with strippers. If someone is going to turn tricks, the fact that they are also a stripper has little to do with it. Heck, being a stripper can be considered marketing!

I have known many strippers and prostitues in my life. Some strippers turned tricks, some would take money and then not put out (whatcha going to do.. call te cops?) and most just dance. What someone does doesn't necessarily indicate what ELSE they might do.

I worked with strippers, dated strippers, married a stripper/porn star and was duped by a prostitute.

Again, this is all about the wife and her unhealthy obsession.

Hell, none of the few strippers I've known would ever turn tricks... dancing for money, nude or not is a quantum leap from sex for money.

And I know a Married suburban mother of 4 (and a couple others) that does... regularly. Regular soccer moms if you ever saw them out and around.


Never make assumption based on visible career choices.